Author's note: Okay, for this chapter, you have to imagine that Voldemort is dead (Harry killed him, obviously) and that Crookshanks can talk. A lot of the stuff in this chapter is extremely far-fetched and that's why it's fun. Also, during the song, words in bold are things that are just happening, or just stuff that is NOT part of the song but is put in as part of the story. Lol. Hope that's not too confusing. Anyways, hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize from Harry Potter or Chicago.

Chapter 4: The Teacher's Office Tango (The Cell Block Tango)

"Follow me," McGonagall said sharply to the four students, two of who were still staring at her, transfixed. Reluctantly, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione stayed close behind McGonagall's heels, which clicked loudly on the marble floor with every step she took. Soon they had traveled up a few staircases and trekked through countless corridors before stopping at a huge oak door. The professor clicked open the lock with a key taken from the pocket of her robes.

Harry immediately recognized the room they had entered as Professor McGonagall's office. He gave Ron a quizzical look, but he appeared quite as confused as Harry.

"I have decided that instead of Ginny going to Azkaban, you will all have to grade these papers," McGonagall said, flicking her wand. Boxes began to fill the room, stacked up to the ceiling, which was of a considerable height. "I've fallen a bit behind on my marking; some of these essays are from when your parents were in school," she explained, indicating Ginny, Ron and Harry. "So that might take you a few years. So, er, toodles." McGonagall shot the students an evil smirk before closing the door to her office behind her with a snap.

"Oh, this is all my fault," Ginny whined, staring helplessly around at the hundreds of stacked boxes.

Thousands of miles away, Severus Snape and Bellatrix LeStrange were arguing. They had been in hiding for more than a year now because their side had been known before Harry Potter had defeated Lord Voldemort, and they were sure that the wizarding world would not readily forgive them. Plus, Snape had killed Dumbledore a few years back and people were pretty upset about it.

Their dispute suddenly turned into a full-blown duel. They sent curses at each other at the exact same time. The spells hit in midair, producing a stunningly bright silver light. Abruptly, they were speeding through the air. They hit a hard stone floor and both looked around wildly.

"Oh my God!" Snape shouted. "We're in McGonagall's office!"

"What did you do, you idiot?" Bellatrix screamed back with just as much volume.

"Woah. What are you guys doing here? We thought you were in hiding!" Harry said, gazing at the pair in awe.

"What are you all doing in here?" Snape spat, looking round at the four students who were all clutching large stacks of paper.

"We've been locked in here because Ginny murdered Malfoy and now we're all being punished so Ginny doesn't go to Azkaban," Harry answered brightly.

"Oh," Snape said, as if this were a perfectly acceptable, sensible response. "Well we need to apparate out, if you'll excuse us," he continued silkily.

"We already tried," Harry said monotonously. Snape rolled his eyes and headed for the door. "Oh, and no spells can unlock that thing. We've tried every single one. Guess you guys are stuck here."

"Hey, as long as you're going to hang around, think you could help us grade all this homework?" Ron asked hopefully.

But just then, music filled the room. Draco's soul floated back through the ceiling, and as they would soon find out, it could speak as Draco normally would, surprisingly enough. Ron and Hermione just sat in the corner watching, because they'd never killed or attempted to kill anyone, and somehow they knew that was what the song would be about.

CROOKSHANKS
Pounce
HARRY
Seven

SNAPE
Flash
DRACO
Uh uh
GINNY
Cheater
BELLATRIX
Cousin!
(x7)

ALL
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

GINNY
I betcha you would have done the same!

CROOKSHANKS
Pounce
HARRY
Seven
SNAPE
Flash
DRACO
Uh uh
GINNY
Cheater
BELLATRIX
Cousin!
(x2)

CROOKSHANKS (Spoken)
I didn't like that rat. I never liked that rat.

There was something funny about him… something that wasn't right.

Ooh, I could sense it all right. That stupid rodent wasn't a rat at all!

He was an Animagus! And that nice black dog told me everything.

I needed to extinguish that rat. He was very bad.

So one night, I crept up into the dormitory the rat slept in with the red-haired boy.

I slunk closer and closer… bent my body lower and lower…

I was ready to pounce when SMACK!

That stupid redhead hit me off the bed!

I was so close! What a complete idiot!

"Hey!" Ron said, bottom lip stuck out, pouting. "That's not nice!"

CROOKSHANKS (Spoken)

But someday I will kill that disgusting… thing.

Someday, I will POUNCE!

ALL
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have dome the same!

HARRY (Spoken)

I knew Voldemort was out to get me from the start.

Ever since Hagrid told me all that stuff about him killing my parents.

And then in fifth year, Dumbledore revealed that neither of us could survive while the other lived.

So, of course, I knew I had to kill him… and soon.

But then I found out his soul was split into seven pieces – Horcruxes, they're called – and I had to find and destroy each and every one.

I was almost done by the beginning of my seventh Hogwarts school year.

So I counted them off on my fingers – one, two, three, four, five, six – and realized there was one left… the soul inside his own body.

I finished him off in a long, painful, dramatic duel, as everyone knew I eventually would, and, finally, he was gone forever. Murder may be wrong, but you can't say he didn't deserve it…

ALL
He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a wizard
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

SNAPE (Spoken)
Now, I've been a double agent the whole time.

I can't believe anyone, not even Dumbledore, realized it.

Well, when Voldemort gave Draco the very serious assignment of killing Dumbledore, I couldn't resist taking over for him. Of course he could not do this task! He was a complete dunce!

Oh, Dumbledore pleaded, but what's a Death Eater to do? I was on a mission! And a flash of green light later, he was dead at last. And I had done it.

I don't think I'm really cut out to kill. I mean, that whole White Tomb chapter made me oh so weepy!

But I can't say Dumbledore's death was not an improvement for the Dark Side…

ALL
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

DRACO (Spoken)
So Voldemort corners me during the summer before my sixth year at Hogwarts and tells me I could do a very special task for him.

Of course, I was overjoyed and so was Father. So I accepted.

God, who knew being a Death Eater was such hard work?

I slaved for months to fix that stupid Vanishing Cabinet!

I thought killing a senile old man wouldn't be hard at all. For all I knew he would trip over his beard some morning and die.

Yeah, my first two attempts failed, so I was getting panicky.

Finally, the Vanishing Cabinet worked. So what if I didn't kill the Headmaster myself? He was dead, wasn't he?

Well, I never found out if I had failed my master or not because stupid Potter murdered him already!

So I didn't go into hiding because I didn't technically hurt anyone, I guess…

Then Hermione piped up, her eyes wide as dinner plates.

HERMIONE (Spoken)
Yeah, but did you do it?

Draco spoke next, his voice uncharacteristically high-pitched, whiny, and nervous-sounding.

DRACO
Uh uh, not guilty!

GINNY (Spoken)
I had gotten back together with Harry over the summer, right after he killed Voldemort.

Harry was a great guy and all – nice, funny, responsible, strong, cute, and a great kisser, not to mention he was the hero of the wizarding world.

But for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about Draco Malfoy.

Well, when I saw him in Diagon Alley when we were back-to-school shopping, I couldn't resist admitting to liking him.

We met in secret all over the place, usually when I was sure my family, Harry, and Hermione were preoccupied with other things. How was I to know Harry suspected something?

I found out Draco was an even better snogger than Harry. Yes, our fling was all very excellent until I found him in a compartment on the train, snogging Pansy Parkinson – the school slut!

I was just so shocked everything was a blur. I didn't really set out to kill, but suddenly I found myself standing over his dead body, my wand raised high over my head!

GINNY
They had it coming
ALL
They had it coming
GINNY
They had it coming
ALL
They had it coming
GINNY
They had it coming all along
ALL
They had it coming all along
GINNY
I didn't do it
ALL
She didn't do it
GINNY
But if I'd done it
ALL
But if she'd done it
GINNY
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

GINNY
They had it coming
ALL
They had it coming
GINNY
They had it coming
ALL
They had it coming
GINNY
They had it coming
ALL
They took a wizard
GINNY
All along
ALL
In its prime
GINNY
I didn't do it
ALL
And then they used it
GINNY
But if I'd done it,
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

BELLATRIX (Spoken)
I was always hated my cousin. In fact, my whole family did.

He was a traitor, hanging around with half-bloods and mudbloods.

He ran away at age sixteen. Can't say I was sorry to see him go.

But I always wished I could make him pay for all the trouble he'd caused the family.

My chance finally came the night Potter and his little friends went to the Ministry.

Sirius and I were dueling… I had no doubt in my mind that I would be the winner. But when he fell behind that veil… well, my wish came true. I had not only defeated Sirius myself, but I had killed him too! Served him right for being such a brat!

ALL
The dirty brat, brat, brat, brat, brat
The dirty brat, brat, brat, brat, brat

Then the singers split into two groups: Bellatrix, Snape, and Draco in one; Harry, Crookshanks, and Ginny in the other.

Group 1
They had it comin'
Group 2
They had it comin'
Group 1
They had it comin'
Group 2
They had it comin'
Group 1
They had it comin'
Group 2
They had it comin'
Group 1
All along
Group 2
All along
Group 1
'Cause if they used us
Group 2
'Cause if they used us
Group 1
And they abused us
Group 2
And they abused us
ALL
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

Group 1
He had it coming
Group 2
He had it coming
Group 1
He only had himself to blame.
Group 2
He only had himself to blame.
Group 1
If you'd have been there
Group 2
If you'd have been there
Group 1
If you'd have seen it
Group 2
If you'd have seen it
ALL
I betcha you would have done the same!

CROOKSHANKS (Spoken)
And someday I'm going to pounce.
HARRY (Spoken)
The last Horcrux.
SNAPE (Spoken)
Duty calls…

DRACO (Spoken)
Innocent!
GINNY (Spoken)
With the school slut!
BELLATRIX (Spoken)
Behind the veil.

CROOKSHANKS
Pounce
HARRY
Seven
SNAPE
Flash
DRACO
Uh uh
GINNY
Cheater
BELLATRIX
Cousin!

Author's Note (# Two): This chapter was sooo much fun to write! Consequently, it came a lot easier than the others and is my favorite. I hope you liked it! Please, please review! Thank you, Georgeluver 92, for your awesome review! That was one of the nicest things anyone said to me all week. Remember, everyone: REVIEW! Thanks for reading: D

By the way, sorry about the spaces between lines when some of the characters are speaking. It didn't look like that in the Word Document and I don't really know what happened... But, yeah, sorry.