Sorry I didn't post during the week, I'll try to write more today so that my updates come more often. Also, this is a multi-entry chapter, seems Donna had a lot to say. Weird, 'cause initially I thought this would be a very quick chapter as I didn't see much material in the episode. Haha, look what I found instead:

The Nanosecond Denial

Just want to make it clear that I happen to be a great poker player, as proved three nights ago in that impromptu game in CJ's office that we played in pairs. Carol and I were only there supposedly to help the others practice before the real deal at the end of the week, when they would "bust Toby and Leo like piñatas", according to Sam. Be that as it may, it was because of my impressive skills that Josh and I won that game, so you would think I could get invited to tonight's traditional game. Of course, I get that it's more of a "senior staff and important people" thing, but I really wanted to go. Instead, I get to stay here and finish the Commerce Report while everybody is there playing, so that by the end of it the Deputy Communications Director and the Deputy Chief of Staff come back here to study it. That just sucks, doesn't it?

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Ok, new day, new attitude towards life. No, not really. Yeah, still pissed off about commerce report and no poker. Currently, 10am and Mrs. Landigham just phoned to say that I have to get Joshua out of the Roosevelt Room 'cause The President needs him. Fine

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Well that was… I have no idea why I'm writing this down, it was absolutely nothing. I went in there, told Josh he was needed, and walked him to the Oval while harassing him about the surplus. That's it, right? Except not. I should have just given him a note saying "The President needs to see you". As a matter of fact I had the note with me when I walked in, but then, as Mandy said "there's something for us to gain", I felt the smugness towards me in her look (I swear I'm not delusional, she said "us" in a way that spoke volumes). So, inexplicably, instead of giving it out, I shoved the note into my pocket and slowly leaned into Josh to whisper the message to him. I think we stayed in that moment of closeness a little more than we should have. I even think I hold my breath and have no idea why. It was weird, but it felt good.
Ok, no, cross that out. What the…? It was a nanosecond for God's sake, Of course it didn't feel good. Yeah, except it did. Now I'm also pissed about that, and should probably go back to work instead of wasting office time in writing nonsense.

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Just great, two nights in a row I'm left out of the fun. Only this time I should be to blame, because I refused the invitation to join the equation doomed to turn into mayhem formed by "the President's daughter, the Chief of Staff's daughter, a Georgetown bar, and Sam". Ok, first of all, I had lots of work to do because I'm considerably behind with my memos as a result of all the diary writing and the nanosecond denial.

Right, and about that, either I'm not the only one reading too much into things or it just happens that I am delusional. Around half an hour after he got back from the Oval Office, Josh asked me to step into his office. (Asked, as in went to my desk and did not scream). Once there he closed the door and looked kind of awkward, but gave me some notes on the Census and calls I needed to do about Appropriations. While I wrote it all down, he told me about the President's request in taking Charlie out. At that point I looked up and he said in a weird voice: "Thank you for going in there and telling me I had to go see him".

Isn't that strange? I wanted to say, "It's my job, I do it all the time, what are you talking about?" But as I felt like I knew exactly what he meant, I just nodded, eager to get out of that office. And when I was about to leave he decides to add:

-You should come along.

-What?

-Georgetown bar with all of us?

-Can't

-Fine

-Ok.

-Fine.

I mean, I wanted to go, but I was really angry at him, even if I don't understand why.

So now I'm here organizing meetings, writing some extra notes on the Commerce Report and not at all doing the whole diary babble and going crazy routine.

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Ok, quick late-night note. I have eight dollars and five cents of "surplus" and one thing I can't seem to get off my mind. What to do?

Well, I'm keeping the change, investing it in something productive like another diary, this one might soon be running out of space. Think about it, and it actually is an investment for Josh, so that I don't go completely nuts and kill him one day.

And about crazy ideas regarding office closeness? Figured if I go in there, give out these sandwiches, and keep whining and bantering as usual, everything will seem normal and I'll be able to push those thoughts to the back of my mind where they'll stay safely and never resurface. Should work like a charm, right?