"Where have you been?" shouted Remus, as Bellatrix, back in her disguise as Hermione, snuck back into the house. He raced to her and enveloped her in an iron grip.

"Remus, you're choking me," she gasped, wriggling out of his grasp.

"You've been gone for over an hour," he accused. "I thought you'd been killed."

"Don't be so melodramatic. I told you I was going for a walk," she answered, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"A walk is fifteen minutes," he insisted. "You were gone for over an hour."

"I was not," she said, dismissing him with a wave of her hand.

Remus stared at her. "Hermione?" He looked incredulous. It wasn't like Hermione to just dismiss him like that.

She took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she repented. "I didn't mean to worry you."

Remus continued to stare at her.

"I said I was sorry," she insisted. "I guess I just lost track of time. It's very nice outside and I wandered a bit." She moved closer to him a draped her arms around his neck. "You forgive me honey, don't you?"

Remus reached back and slowly pulled her arms away. "Don't ever do that again," he said seriously. "I can't do this anymore, Hermione. I can't lose you again." His eyes got very bright. "I can't," he finished firmly.

"You won't," she promised.

He nodded once. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think I could eat something small."

"I'll…" Remus was interrupted by a cry from upstairs. He looked up toward the nursery. "That's Nathaniel. Will you get him and bring him downstairs. I don't want him waking up Harry."

"Where's Lily?"

"She had some errands to run, so I said we'd watch Harry."

She nodded and climbed the steps, hoping the baby would keep on crying. She wasn't all that familiar with the layout of the house yet. When she entered the room, Nathaniel was standing up in his crib, with his hands stretched out. When he saw Bellatrix, he stopped crying and watched her quietly. She strode over to the crib and plucked him into her arms.

His reaction was immediate. He began screaming and struggling in her arms. His arms flailed and he smacked her in the face.

"Stop," she demanded harshly and swatted him on his behind. She didn't hit him hard, but Nathaniel had only ever known love and gentleness. He stopped crying momentarily, his open mouth formed a perfect O of surprise, before he filled his lungs and let her know how displeased he was.

His outraged screaming woke Harry, who immediately started crying. Both boys could feel something was very wrong about the woman in their room.

"What happened?" asked Remus, coming into the room at a half run.

Bellatrix dropped Nathaniel back into his crib and rushed to Remus. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed into his shoulder. "He doesn't remember me," she wailed.

Remus hugged her tightly and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Shh," he murmured. "It's okay. He's just cranky. You can't take it personally."

"No, he's forgotten me," she continued crying.

"He hasn't," Remus reassured her. He dragged her closer to the crib and lifted his son into his arms. Remus rocked Nathaniel gently until he had quieted a bit. "Here," he said, offering Nathaniel to his wife. Nathaniel instantly protested. He screamed as if in pain. Harry, who had quieted and was watching from his crib, joined Nathaniel in his lusty screams.

Remus frowned with concern. "What's the matter with my boy," he asked softly. He held him close and Nathaniel buried his face in his father's neck. His breath was coming out in hitched gasps.

"It's okay," said Bellatrix and she brushed Nathaniel's cheek with the back of her hand. "He'll remember me in time."

Now that he was safe in the strong arms of his father, he permitted her to touch him.

"Of course he will," said Remus quietly, but there was unease in his voice. He walked over to Harry's crib and smoothed the top of his messy black hair. He knew they were both past the point of finishing their nap, so he scooped Harry up with his free arm and turned back to his wife. "We'll just take them downstairs with us."

She nodded. "Is lunch finished yet?"

"Not yet," answered Remus. "It'll just be another minute." He carried the boys into the kitchen with him and Bellatrix flopped onto the couch. She picked up one of Lily's copies of Witch Weekly and began thumbing through it.

In a few minutes, Remus returned with a tray of sandwiches and butterbeer. "Since when do you read Witch Weekly?" he asked curiously.

She lowered the magazine. "Huh?"

"You said it was a waste of paper."

She dropped the magazine on the table. "I was bored."

He smiled and crossed the room, returning with a massive book that had to be at least nine hundred pages. "Here," he said handing it to her.

"What's this?" she asked.

"The book you were reading before you disappeared," he explained. "See, I even kept the bookmark right where you left it."

Bellatrix laughed out loud. "This is massive."

Remus looked confused. "I couldn't bear to take the bookmark out. I know how you hate losing your place."

"Thanks," she replied, setting the book down and forgetting about it the moment she did.

"Remus," Bellatrix began as they ate lunch. "I was thinking."

Remus looked up giving her his full attention.

"I think we should go back to our place. We can't overstay our welcome here."

"I thought you'd feel better about staying with James and Lily," said Remus.

She shrugged. "Wouldn't you rather be in our own home, so we can be alone," she added with a sly smile.

Remus smiled softly. "Of course, but it's not that easy."

"Why not? When James and Lily get home we'll just tell them and go."

Remus cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Hermione, we don't have a flat anymore."

"What?" she asked.

"I gave it up," he said simply.

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

"You were gone for four months," said Remus. "I thought…" he paused and reached for her hand, pressing it to his cheek. "I thought you were dead. I couldn't go back. Everything reminded me of you and the life we weren't going to have. The truth is I was planning on moving Nathaniel and myself into my parent's place until I figured out what to do."

"Oh," Bellatrix said softly, obviously disappointed.

"Besides," continued Remus. "Don't you think Nathaniel will be safer in a house full of people?"

"I suppose," she replied slowly.

"If your disappearance taught me anything, it's that I've been arrogant. I used to think I could protect the two of you through sheer force of will, but I'm not as young or stupid as I used to be. I'm not too proud to take help when it's your safety at stake."

Bellatrix smiled. "That's sweet."

They were silent for a long time before Remus continued. "You look tired. Why don't you go and take a nap."

She smiled and nodded. "Thanks for lunch."

"Of course," acknowledged Remus.

She stood to go, but then remembered herself and turned her face to his and closed her eyes, waiting.

Remus hesitated for a second before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Lily returned later in the day to find her son and godson playing on the floor in front of Remus, who was sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, lost in thought.

"Remus?" said Lily quietly, not wanting to startle him.

Remus turned his head. "Hey," he replied.

She smiled. "You looked about a million miles away just then," she commented.

"No, I'm fine," he said.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" she asked.

Remus hesitated.

"There is," she said and sat next to him. "What is it?"

He sighed deeply. "It's Hermione."

"What? Is she feeling okay?" Lily turned her head toward the stairs with concern in her eyes.

"No, it's nothing like that. She's fine. She even went for a walk today."

"Well that's good," said Lily encouragingly.

"For over an hour," finished Remus.

"Over an hour?" questioned Lily.

He nodded. "I was worried sick. If she had taken another five minutes I would have called the Order."

Lily smiled sympathetically. "You're just feeling a bit overprotective. That's normal."

"I know," agreed Remus. "But the way she came back. She acted like I was being ridiculous for worrying. She just dismissed the whole thing."

Lily shrugged. "Hermione's always been independent."

"That's not the only thing. Nathaniel reacted very harshly to her."

"What do you mean?" asked Lily.

"She was holding him and he was crying like he was in pain. I mean, he was actually screaming. He never screams." Remus paused. "I think he was terrified."

Lily frowned. "It has been over four months Remus. "Nathaniel doesn't know who she is. When she left, he was only eight months old. Now he's crawling everywhere, he's nearly walking. And I swear any day now they're both going to say their first words. Four months is a long time in a babies world."

"I suppose, but then she was also reading Witch Weekly."

Lily burst out laughing. "So?"

"She hates Witch Weekly," said Remus.

"Maybe she changed her mind."

Remus shook his head. "Not my Hermione. She doesn't read silly magazines. She's too smart for them."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "I read Witch Weekly."

Remus cringed. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."

Lily sighed, rolling her eyes. "Remus, I'm telling you this as a friend. You're expectations of Hermione are unrealistic. They always have been. She is not perfect. She's just a woman." She paused and took his hand. "Hasn't that always been the biggest problem between you two? You expect perfection from her."

"I don't," he began to interrupt.

"Let me finish," said Lily. "I know you love her and you want to believe she's the perfect woman, but that's not fair to her. She's been through something very traumatic, even if she can't remember what that was. It's only natural she would want some freedom or a stupid magazine to take her mind off her worries. And as far as Nathaniel goes, he'll come around. She adores her son. She'll make him remember what a wonderful mother he has." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Give her time and let her be."

Remus sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am," said Lily firmly. "You'll see. Everything will be great soon. I promise."

Remus gave her a small smile. "I really hope so, Lily."

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The months wore on and Remus tried to keep Lily's advice at the front of his mind, but it wasn't always easy. Hermione was different. They hadn't slept in the same room since she returned. Whenever Remus tried touching or kissing her she would embrace him briefly and then move quickly away.

He tried to be patient, but the truth was he missed her. He missed the intimacy they once shared. There was a time when the two of them would literally talk until the sun came up. They'd talk, make love, talk some more, and then make love again.

Late one night Remus knocked lightly on her bedroom door and then tried the handle. It was locked. "Who is it?" called a muffled voice from within.

"Your husband," said Remus, coloring at having to ask permission to enter his own room.

"Uhh,what do you want?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Hermione, let me in." There was a long pause. Remus put his ear up to the door, but could hear only muffled sounds. "Hermione?" he called out again.

After a few more seconds, he heard the lock on the door click and let himself into the room.

His wife was across the room. She eyed him warily. Remus eyed her right back.

"Did you need something?" she asked crossing her arms in front of her.

"I miss you," he said quietly, crossing the room. He rested her hand on his cheek. "I've missed you so much," he said, dipping his head and capturing her mouth with his own. She remained frozen in place. He pulled back. "It's been months, Hermione. Why won't you let me touch you?"

"I let you touch me all the time," she protested.

He pulled her fully against him and kissed her again, hard and needy this time.

"Stop," she cried, wrenching away from him.

He was breathing hard and he had a look on his face that said, 'I told you so.' "Tell me what's wrong," he demanded.

"I can't," she said, inching away from him.

"Why?"

"I just can't."

"Are you punishing me for what I did before you disappeared?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"You are," he said. He moved closer and knelt in front of her. "I am so sorry about that. I should have never taken Nathaniel and left.I was wrong."

She eyed him kneeling in front of her. "I'm not trying to punish you," she said quietly. "I just can't help how I feel."

"How can I make it up to you?" asked Remus. "I'll do anything."

"I just need some time," she said. "Please, just give me time."

Remus nodded and slowly stood. He kissed her cheek and held her close. "I love you," he said, before releasing her. He waited, but she didn't respond. Then he turned and left the room.

Bellatrix locked the door again once he left. Then she flopped back onto the bed. "Pathetic," she muttered with a low chuckle.

The war was raging all around them and they were all busier than ever. They had all had more close calls then they cared to admit. It seemed like every time they went on the offensive, Death Eaters were waiting for them. There were murmuring throughout the Order that it was possible they had been compromised, but so far no one was willing to say it out loud.

The end of October 1981 was fast approaching.

One evening, about a week before Halloween, Dumbledore came to see the three remaining marauders and their families. Sirius had recently given up pretending he lived in his own apartment and set up residence with his friends at Godric's Hollow, although he didn't give up his own flat.

The four friends, two babies, and Bellatrix sat together quietly and listened to Dumbledore. The older man looked tired. They all knew that the only thing that stood between themselves and utter defeat most days was him.

"I wanted to speak with all of you at once, because it has become apparent to me that Voldemort has figured out a way to keep tabs on you five." Dumbledore took a deep breath. "I believe he knows about the prophecy."

They all looked grim.

"What should we do?" asked James.

"I think it's time you all went into hiding," he announced.

The response was instant. "You can't be serious," said James.

"We couldn't hide," added Sirius.

"What about the Order?" asked Remus.

"As it stands," began Dumbledore. "You're more of a danger to the Order than an asset."

No one said anything as they considered this information.

"How are we supposed to hide from Voldemort?" asked Lily quietly. She was holding Harry close to her and trying to hide how much her hands were shaking.

"There's an ancient charm called the Fidelius Charm. It involves the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. It's quite a complex spell, but I believe it will be your best chance."

"Who would be the secret keeper?" asked Remus.

"I would be willing to be your secret keeper," said Dumbledore.

"We couldn't ask you to do that," said James. "The Order needs you. It would be too dangerous."

"I'll do it," spoke up Sirius and Bellatrix at the same time.

"No," said Sirius sharply to her. "It's too dangerous."

"I know it's dangerous," she replied. "But it shouldn't be someone so obvious. The Dark Lord will come after you. He has you marked."

"He has your son marked," countered Sirius.

"All the more reason, you should let me do this," she answered. "Please. I want to do it."

Sirius looked to James for an answer. James looked thoughtful for a long time. "Are you sure you want to do this, Hermione?" he asked.

She sat up very straight. "I'm sure," she answered. "For my son, for both our sons."

James looked at his wife, who nodded quickly and then he looked to Remus. Remus was staring at his own wife. "Remus?" asked James.

He returned James' gaze, then nodded slowly.

Dumbledore stood. "Then it's settled. Hermione, come with me."

She stood and followed Dumbledore out of the room.

Once they were gone, Lily stood with a sigh and adjusted Harry in her arms. He babbled at her and laughed, but his mother didn't respond.

Nathaniel was playing with a small ball at his father's feet, seemingly oblivious to the tension around him.

"She called him the Dark Lord," said Remus quietly.

Sirius turned and looked at him. "What?"

"Hermione, she called Voldemort the Dark Lord. Didn't you notice?"

Sirius shrugged. "So."

"She's never called him that. Only Death Eaters call him that."

"Remus, this is stressful for everyone," said Lily. "I don't think any of us know what we're saying anymore."

Remus didn't respond and his attention was immediately diverted by Nathaniel. He was holding the ball up to his father with two pudgy hands. "Ba…," he tried.

"Ball," Remus said slowly, with an indulgent smile.

"Ba," said Nathaniel again, with more feeling.

Remus leaned down and picked him up. "Yes, I know this is your ba." He cuddled him close. "I think it's time for a nap," he said. "Can I take Harry up too?" asked Remus.

"I'll come with you," replied Lily and the two disappeared upstairs.

"We're putting it all in her hands," said James from the corner of the room.

"I would have done it," answered Sirius.

"I know you would have," said James.

"This business about someone spying on us is troubling," said Sirius. "Who do you think it could be?"

James shrugged. "It could be anyone," he said. James was watching Sirius, who was obviously lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?" James asked.

"Hermione," answered Sirius.

"What about her?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing, never mind. I was just thinking about something Remus said. It's not important."

Dumbledore and Hermione returned to the room.

"It's done," said Dumbledore quietly. "You will all be safe as long as you remain in this house. Only Hermione will be able to give away the secret of your location."

"Thank you, Hermione," said James. "You're holding all our lives in your hands."

"You're welcome, James," she said with a smile. "Believe me, it's the least I could do."

Later that night, when everyone was asleep, Bellatrix snuck away from the house. She met a hooded figure in the woods. "It's done, my Lord. The Potter's have made me their secret keeper."

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A/N: There is a wonderful reader who recently drew some pictures in honor of my story. I can't express how honored I was by this and I want everyone to go to the below link and check out the pictures. I think they are beautiful and they depict two of my favorite scenes in the story. Thanks again, Anne!

beepworld.de/members5/thornbird