Hawkeye wandered under thesign at the front gateand hesitated, his hands jammed into his pockets. He took a moment to peer up at the wind-worn, flaking sign. "Hello, home," he muttered acidicly.
"Hawkeye! Thank God, there you are!"
He turned to see Radar scurrying out of Rosie's bar, his clipboard clutched protectively to his chest. He jogged across the road, holding his hat to his head. Hawkey smiled affectionately at the tiny clerk. "Radar?Eating out for breakfast, I see."
"Wha...?" Radar frowned in bewilderment, then his eyes widened and he shook his head vehemantly. "No, sir! I was looking for you! Jeez, what kind of a guy drinks first thing in the morning?"
Hawkeye turned away, his eyebrows lifted wryly. "You thought I was." He began to stroll into camp.
Radar, flustered, scurried after him. "That's not what I meant at all, sir. I was just thinking maybe you were there last night and-"
"Never mind, Radar, tell the colonel I'm back."
"You'd better go see him yourself, he wants to talk to you."
"If it's about the cherry tree, it wasn't me."
Radar stopped. "What?"
"Never mind." He strolled through the doors of the O.R. building, whistling some unidentifiable tune.
Colonel Potter turned from where he was standing at the window to see Hawkeye all of a sudden sitting in his chair. "Pierce? I didn't hear you come in. When did you get back?"
"About thirty-four years ago. I was the twinkle inmy mother'seye."
The colonel shooed him out of his chair and sat down with a heavy sigh. Hawkeye perched on the edge of his desk and began opening drawers, looking for alcohol.
"It's all in the cabinet, Pierce."
"But what about the stuff you used to keep in-"
"Someone found it last week."
"Oh yeah. That was good stuff." He ignored the colonel's hard stare and stretched. "Well, what's the occasion, Colonel?"
Colonel Potter removed his hat and rubbed his hand over his bare scalp, tiredly, with a deep sigh. "Pierce, I love you like a son, so I'm only saying this for your own good."
"I hate these talks."
"It's important so listen up. Now I don't know where you've been in the last couple of hours, but our new nurse just arrived and I want you to go easy on her. Give her a week or so and then you can pounce on her all you like, but just for once I'd like to get a new nurse without having to assure her you're not an escaped nymphomaniac."
Hawkeye wasn't really listening. He nodded and picked his nails.
"Pierce? Are you listening to me?"
"Got it. Leave the nurse alone."
The colonel's eyes narrowed. "Pierce, are you feeling alright?"
"Fine, Colonel," he replied softly, chewing on his lower lip. "Just havinga bit of an 'off day'I guess."
"Maybe you need to get some sleep."
"I don't think so. Maybe I'll work Post-Op with Charles."
The colonel straightened up and peered closer at Hawkeye. "Are you SURE you're feeling alright?"
A tiny smile flickered at the edges of the doctor's mouth. "I'm sure, colonel. You'll be the first to know if I'm not. I'll make a house call." He got up and strolled around to the cabinet. "Now about this lock..."
"Pierce, it's not even noon."
"Exactly. We need to geta head start on these things," he mumbled, uselessly tugging at the lock. He glanced out the window a second and studied the activity, then turned to the colonel. "If I'm being kept under lock and key," he commented mildly, "how come the DENTIST gets to make with the nurse-chasing. That's hardly fair, is it?" He went back to studying the lock.
Colonel Potter got up and went to the window. Sure enough, Harry Townsend and Lara were strolling across the compound, talking animatedly. He smiled slightly and shrugged. "Townsend's a good man. Unlike some people here, I'll bet he has totally innocent intentions with that girl."
"Well that's good. And besides, dating a dentist comes in handy. He can kiss you and examine you at the same time."
The colonel turned, expecting Hawkeye's expression to be that of jealousy, or at least slight annoyance, but he seemed perfectly indifferent as he tugged at the lock. He turned back and studied Lara again. She was exactly Pierce's type. Two legs and breasts. Pretty features, long brown hair. Why hadn't he made a fuss yet?
"Honestly, Colonel, I don't know the point of these things. All they do is keep people from getting the things they want."
Potter came up behind Hawkeye and put his hand on his forehead. "Son,I think you need to take a load off and tell me what's the matter," he said in a solemn tone.
Hawkeye froze and stopped his tugging. A deep sigh rattled his lean frame, and then he turned, his eyes glassy and unmistakably sorrowful. "I wish I could. But I think in order to do that, I have to know what's the matter myself."
The colonel examined him calmly and proficiently, then nodded. "I'll get on the horn to Sidney."
Brief panic flitted across Hawkeye's face. "Dont," he pleaded. "I don't want that now. Please, don't call Sidney." He smiled woodenly. "At least wait until I start sleepwalking again."
The colonel studied Hawkeye's face a moment longer. He appeared ragged, the lines creasing his face were no longer from humor but from the perpetual frown that seemed to be ruining his typically jovial appearance. The tiredness in his voice was evident. His shoulders were more slumped than usual as he stumbled out of the colonel's office without so much as a Potter sat down heavily behind his desk, and began to seriously wonder if it wasn't time for Hawkeye to go home.