Chapter Five

The colonel stood with the phone against his chest, watching Hawkeye saunter away across the compound. His lips twitched as he pondered the man's hunched shoulders.

Then he put the phone back to his ear. "I understand what you're saying, Sidney, but you should see the boy. He's just not himself."

"Nevertheless, this may just be a case of mild depression. Everyone has their 'off days'." Sidney's voice floated melodiously through the telephone, calm and reasonable as ever.

The colonel scratched his head. "See, that's what I thought, but it seems to be something different. He's been this way for the last couple of days. As a matter of fact, he's only himself when he's drinking."

"Isn't that all the time?"

"Come on now, Sidney, be serious! There's a new nurse in the compound and he hasn't even attempted to meet her yet."

There was silence. "Maybe this is serious."

"I told you."

Sidney sighed. "Okay, Sherm, maybe I'll make a detour on my next trip down to the front. I'll be there in two or three days. Call me if anything else serious happens."

"Thanks Sidney."

B.J. glanced up as Hawkeye came stumbling into the Swamp. "Hey, long time no see. I don't know if you remember, but I'm B.J."

"B.J.? I thought B.J. had a moustache."

"I thought Hawkeye had a sense of direction. What did you do, get lost on the way to the latrine? Where were you?"

Hawkeye collapsed onto his bed and grunted. "I don't know where I was, really. I just wasn't here."

Charles, who was reclined on his cot across the room, slowly lowered his newspaper and gave B.J. a meaningful glance over it.

The door opened and Harry strode in, heading straight for the still. "I need a drink and fast."

"Hey, the still's for swamp rats only," B.J. reprimanded. "You got your own tent, get your own booze."

"This is an emergency. I gotta make sure I'm not sleeping."

B.J. sat up and poured him a glass. "Well this'll do the trick." He handed Harry the martini glass and he downed it all in two huge gulps. His head snapped up and he gasped.

"Holy crap, since when do you use lighter fluid? This is enough to put an elephant under. God." He sat down on an overturned crate and ran a hand through his stringy black locks. Then he noticed Hawkeye collapsed on his stomach on his cot. "Hey! The prodigal doctor's back!"

Hawkeye's only reply was a grunt. Harry shook him mildly. Hawkeye batted him away.

"He's not feeling especially sociable lately," B.J. explained.

"Aw, too bad. I got a real story for you guys. He's gonna be so jealous." He leaned in conspiratorially. "You know the new nurse? Lara?"

B.J. nodded. "Wait, I know this one. She turned out to be MacArthur in disguise."

"Pfft, even better. We're going to the movies tonight." He chuckled and nudged Hawkeye. "Looks like I beat you to this one, pal."

Hawkeye didn't move. Harry watched him expectantly, waiting for a reply, but when nothing came he looked at B.J. with a concerned expression.

"What's wrong?" he mouthed. B.J. shrugged and poured himself a drink.

Even Charles was looking at Hawkeye over his paper. The three men glanced at each other, then Harry stood up.

"Thanks for the belt, boys. You coming to the movies?"

"If I can get the wife here to get off her ass," B.J. replied pointing to Hawkeye. "She never wants to go anywhere anymore."

All their eyes snapped to Hawkeye, waiting patiently for his usually witty retort. Nothing.

Harry's face was drawn and he was chewing on his lower lip. "See you later," he said mildly. "I gotta coupla teeth to pull before chow."

B.J. nodded as Harry left, then sat back against his pillow and picked up his notepad. He quickly read over what he'd written.

Dear Peg,

I understand that you don't want to pay the admittedly ludicrous bills that Princess Plumbing charges, but I do NOT want you to attempt to fix the sink yourself. Princess Plumbing is still cheaper than replacing the whole damn fixture, (not that I think you can't do it, I'm sure Reynolds from next door is an excellent teacher but if he couldn't do it the first time I don't want anyone else fiddling with it.)

Tell Erin the cookies you two baked were excellent. The boys all enjoyed them. But maybe next time you could leave the pennies out of them.

Things are more or less the same here. We've gotten a new nurse again. Usually this spells chaos as whenever a new person of the female persuasion enters camp, Hawkeye's starved libido attempts a kidnapping, but to be honest, Peg, Hawk's been acting a little weird lately. He's not himself. He hasn't even tried to meet the woman yet, and she's highly attractive, believe you me. Harry's even got a date with her and Hawk doesn't seem to care. At the moment he's just lying on his stomach on his cot, doing absolutely nothing. Not speaking, not drinking, not complaining. I think I'll go over and have a talk with the colonel to see if he's noticed it too. I just hope Hawkeye hasn't finally cracked, he was the only thing keeping this camp sane.

Kiss Erin for me. I love you.

He sighed and signed his name. Hawkeye suddenly rolled onto his side and stared at B.J. with wide, serious eyes.

"Was Harry just here?"

B.J.'s brow furrowed. "Didn't you hear him? He was talking to you."

Hawkeye frowned. "Hm. Never mind then." He rolled back onto his stomach and put his face back into his pillow.