Chapter Seven
"Depression is very common in these types of situations," said Sydney Freedman, chewing on the end of his pen as he skimmed Pierce's report. "It happens to almost everybody at one time or another. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner to Hawkeye. He's a walking time bomb, psychologically speaking."
He finally closed the file folder and looked at Colonel Potter solemnly. "But I will speak to him. Just to make sure."
"Well, if you don't think it's serious I'll take your word for it," Potter said quietly, "but that boy's been here an awful long time, longer than most of the people here. He helped put the place together. He may be the best damn surgeon in the entire Korean Theatre, but I don't want him even close to an O.R. if he's not mentally stable."
"Well, listlessness and extreme irritability are definitely symptoms…" Sydney said slowly, "and if he has been exhibiting uncharacteristic personality traits, we may have a real problem. Hawkeye's been operating in perpetual survival mode since he got here. Joke to survive. Laugh to survive. Have sex to survive. Drink to survive. Everything he does is just his way of hanging on to that ledge in his mind just a little bit longer."
"And now you think he's finally fallen off."
"Perhaps not that extreme. I suspect he's just lost his footing."
Colonel Potter sighed and got up, retrieving a bottle of Scotch from the mahogany liquor cabinet in the corner. "Well, I can't let you go without a belt, Sydney. Strange things are happening here, strange things."
He handed the psychiatrist a glass and they both sipped it somberly.
"He lashed out at the new nurse a few nights ago," Potter said suddenly.
"In O.R.?"
"No, it was movie night, they were both outside. I heard them from my tent. He was pretty downright nasty to her. Very bitter."
"Hm. You think she herself could have something to do with it? Maybe it was something about her, not something about him."
Potter was about to open his mouth and dismiss Sydney's comment as impossible, but then it occurred to him that Hawkeye's odd behaviour had started catching people's attention the day Nurse Dalton had arrived. However, B.J. and Charles had reported Hawkeye seeming listless and distracted before he had taken off for the entire day, before he had even met Lara.
"I doubt it," he finally said. "I think she may have been just the final straw."
"But it started the day she arrived?"
"Yes, but I expect it's been bubbling under the surface for a while. Hunnicut said something to me about Hawkeye being more on edge lately as long as two days before Dalton arrived."
"And then he disappeared for an entire day?"
"Yep. We had no idea where he went. Very scary."
"I see. Give me another." He handed Potter his glass to be refilled. "This is all rather alarming for me too, Colonel. I've always regarded Hawkeye as a good friend, and it somewhat scares me that he could be just like the rest of us."
"He's just as afraid and angry as the rest of us. You should know that."
"Oh, I do, believe me, I do. It's like I always say: anger turned inwards is depression. Anger turned sideways is Hawkeye."
The colonel allowed himself a hearty chuckle at that one, and for the first time the lines of worry around his eyes lifted. "That may just be the only way to describe him."
Lara wandered back to the desk in Post-Op where Nurse Lily Baker was scribbling in the log. She had already made two rounds of the beds, but there were only a couple of patients. The action had been remarkably slow, and she still hadn't gone into the O.R.
"Be thankful," the other nurses had told her. "It's nothing to look forward to."
Still, she was anxious to see what everybody was talking about when they spoke of a MASH unit. She wanted to witness the chaos firsthand.
"Feeling better?" she asked Lily, who had had a slight case of flu for most of the week.
Lily smiled good-naturedly. "Yes, I believe I am. It's nothing new around here. I'm just happy it isn't dysentery for once."
Lara plopped down in a chair beside the pretty nurse and sighed. "I don't think Janice likes me."
Janice Able was tall, blonde, brilliant, and the biggest bitch in the entire compound. She was the basic equivalent to the snotty captain of the cheerleading squad back in high school, and for some reason, she had decided that she hated Lara.
Lara was far to mature to care much about Able's constant rumor-spreading and malicious comments. She had found friends in Betty Donovan, Lily Baker, Kelly Reynolds, and Ginger O'Sullivan. Janice Able had been furious that her friends had taken to Lara so fast, but fortunately, some things had changed since high school, and the fact that nobody cared what Janice thought seemed to make her even more furious.
"Don't give her any mind," Lily said with a tiny smile. "Janice is just jealous."
"Jealous? Why on earth? She's beautiful, intelligent, funny-"
"And single. And you have the only man she's ever wanted."
"What, you mean-"
The doors swung open and Harry suddenly strode in, breaking into a wide smile upon seeing her. "Why hello my dear! Off duty soon?"
Nurse Baker lifted her head and smiled at Lara, nudging her with her eblow. "Speak of the devil…"
Lara smothered a grin and stood up. "Don't you ever have work to do?"
Harry merely smiled, seized her, and planted a kiss on her lips, eliciting cheers and catcalls from some of the patients.
"Now look what you've done!" Lily chastised half-heartedly, getting up to force a chest patient back onto his bed.
"I have another hour still," Lara said regretfully as they broke apart.
"Another hour?" Harry murmured. "Can't you find anyone else to cover for you?"
"Absolutely not!" Lara exclaimed, pretending to be scandalized. "What kind of a nurse do you think I am?"
"A very very sexy one."
She giggled as he began nibbling on her ear.
"Okay, break it up you two," B.J. said as he strode into the room with an x-ray in one hand, "and will someone PLEASE tell me where Charles is? This is the third day this week he's been late relieving me!"
Harry stepped away from Lara regretfully. "I'll go find him. He's been spending a lot of time in Father Mulcahy's tent."
"Mulcahy? Really?" B.J. said, sounding incredulous. "Charles hates Mulcahy and he cares even less for religion."
"I have a feeling he's made a rather miraculous conversion."
"Really? You know why?"
Harry shrugged. "Maybe his stocks are falling."
B.J. grinned wryly and beckoned him away. Harry blew a kiss to Lara over his shoulder and trotted away.
B.J. turned and smiled at Lara. "What have you done to the guy? If he keeps smiling this much he's going to break his face."
Lara blushed and took the x-ray from him.