Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter Five: Saying It
A couple hours later, Poppy visited Albus.
"I'm not questioning your judgment, but are you sure it was wise to heave so much responsibility onto Minerva right now?"
"My hands were tied, Poppy. I couldn't very well hire someone other than her to teach when she has been my apprentice for so long. House heads must be professors; she was the only possibility. The staff wanted her as the deputy. There is still five weeks until term starts. Surely by then she will have recovered slightly."
"Just don't let her get too bogged down in work before she deals with the rape. If she simply puts it behind her without truly dealing with it, it will haunt her for the rest of her life."
Minerva skipped lunch, but did go to the hall for dinner. She sat beside her husband, in the deputy's seat. She caught Slughorn staring at her several times, but he never dared say anything to her. He even stopped watching when Albus caught him staring.
Minerva was certain Albus was watching how much she was eating. She managed a little more than breakfast, but it was still a meager meal. After she finished eating, Minerva went to her chambers. She was just emerging from another shower when her husband entered.
"I wanted to let you know that plans have been finalized for Armando's memorial service. It will be held the day after tomorrow by the lake."
"Okay." she responded. She honestly felt terrible. Her preoccupation with her own troubles had left her with very little time to mourn the passing of her colleague and friend.
"I have also made the changes to the headmaster's quarters. They are now joined to ours."
Minerva stiffened slighly and nodded.
"Where will I be staying tonight?" he asked her.
She almost told him to stay wherever he wanted, until she remembered what Poppy had said.
"We will be going back to our shared rooms." Minerva bravely answered.
Minerva gathered the paperwork and books she had brought to her personal rooms over the last two days. Then, she led Albus down the hall and through the door to the place they knew as home.
While Albus worked on the speech he was expected to give at the memorial, Minerva read over old lesson plans. The two worked silently until it was very late. It was nice to simply sit together comfortably without either expecting the other to do or say anything. It was a relief to escape the awkwardness of the past two days. When Minerva finally yawned, both realized how late it had gotten.
"We should be getting to bed. It is late, and I'm sure you are tired."
"I'm all right, Albus." Minerva answered, secretly fearing the moment they would have to go to bed together.
"Would you like one of the sleeping potions Poppy sent you?"
"No, thank you."
"I can sleep somewhere else." Albus could sense his wife's apprehension from across the room. He knew it wasn't something she could help, but it still hurt. In the years that they had been together, he had never raised his hand to her. Nor, had he ever forced her into doing anything she didn't want to do.
"No, that's not necessary. You're my husband."
"I don't want to rush you."
"Poppy said that if I withdraw from you now, it will just be harder later."
"You shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, though. If you are not ready to share a bed with me, I will understand."
"No, I...Let's just go to bed."
Albus hesitantly followed his wife to their bedroom. Once there, Minerva headed to the bathroom and showered. When she emerged, she was wearing pajamas, and a dressing gown. Albus was not accustomed to this, as normally she slept next to him nude, but he didn't say anything. He understood that it may be quite some time before she was at ease exposing herself to him.
After he showered, Albus laid down next to his wife. She was pretending to be asleep, but he could tell by her quickened breathe that she was awake, and close to hyperventilating.
"Minerva?"
"Good night, Albus."
"Good night, Minerva."
Minerva didn't sleep much again that night. The next morning she got up early and showered again. Albus was still asleep when she emerged for the bathroom. She went for another walk around the lake before going to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Albus awoke an hour later to an empty bed. He sighed. He hadn't been aware of when his wife left, but he hoped she had slept better than the previous two nights.
The day progressed much more normally than the last couple had. Minerva went to the Great Hall for all three meals. She worked on lesson plans, while Albus organized his new office. At night, the two were alone in their chambers again.
"What did you do all day, my love?" Albus asked his wife.
"Worked."
"All day?"
"I decided to draw up my own lesson plans." was the only explanation she offered.
Albus thought for a moment, and then plunged ahead. "Poppy said you shouldn't throw yourself into your work. You need to have time, first to-"
"I'm fine, Albus."
"Minerva, you are not fine. Until you can accept what happened you will not be fine."
"I have accepted it."
"How have you accepted it when you can't even admit it?"
She started crying, and he immediately felt guilty. He didn't want to push her, but he also didn't want her to get sick. Poppy had scared him with her explanation of everything that could possibly happen to his wife in the recovery phase.
"What do you want me to say?" she sobbed.
"Nothing." he answered. "Nothing that you are not ready to say."
"Albus?" she murmured"
"Yes?"
"I-I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."
"Damn." he thought as he watched her retreating back. She had been so close.
The next day was stressful on everyone. Armando Dippet's memorial service would be Albus' first public duty as headmaster.
If he messed this up, he feared he would never live it down.
Minerva felt extremely guilty that she had been unable to support her husband the way he deserved. She had been so distant that he had not been able to talk with her at all. He was too busy making sure she was okay, like the dutiful husband he was.
Right before the service began, Minerva found Albus in his office.
"Albus, you know I love you, right?
"I love you too, my dear."
"You'll be fine." she assured. Then she took his hand and placed a tender kiss on it. She hurried out of his office to join the rest of the staff by the lake.
Albus felt much more confident due to his wife's gentle support. Just knowing that she had faith in him made him feel like he could get through anything. The service went well, and afterwords everyone came to him and gave their full support in his running of the school.
Minerva had tried to pay attention to her husband, but found it rather difficult. Her thoughts were torn in two. She caught bits and pieces of what he said but that was all.
As the couple were laying in their bed that night, Minerva suddenly remembered something she did hear Albus say earlier. He had been talking about the way Armando always stood beside those he loved, no matter what they were going through. He offered his unconditional support in any way he could. Minerva thought at the time that it was a quality that Albus would also exhibit as head of the school. It was what gave Minerva the courage to say what she did now.
"Albus?"
"Yes, dear?" he questioned, turning his head toward her.
"He raped me."
A/N: I felt bad that I hadn't updated in several days, so you guys who have waited so patiently get two today. Many thanks to my reviewers. Please keep it up:)