From the last chapter…
"ohmygosh….." said Harry under his breath, "when worn it promises the wearer to get what?" "I need to get to Flourish and Botts as soon as possible!" he thought to himself and paid for the suit and left.
In the wizarding bookstore he went back into a section he had never visited before and selected a book just to make sure that it had the charm he was looking for and he bought it, it didn't matter the price. All that mattered was the one charm on page 45 that would help him and his friends greatly. If the suit did what it said it did, then he would need all the help he could get.
Harry stepped out into the sunlight, the crucial book in his arms and hurried over to the suit store where Ron was still waiting in line. While Ron had his back turned Harry studied the spell, it seemed very complicated but he thought he could manage it. He oh-so-carefully, pointed his wand at Ron's back and mumbled "Spersesasamilliousis"
"Oh there you are Harry! Did you say something?" asked Ron still staring lovingly at his new suit.
"Oh, no not me, must have been the wind!" said Harry quickly and shoved his book away.
"Oh well, I thought I heard someone doing a conception charm… Odd place to do one really, the middle of a robes shop? Who would think of that! Like people would be banging each other in the middle of a robe shop, honestly…" laughed Ron.
"Er… yeah right, so anyways what did your mum think of the suit Ron?" said Harry quickly.
"Oh she loved it, but she told me to check the washing instructions before I bought it. Oh look here's the tag, hmmm… dry clean only, machine wash cold, delicate cycle, AWWW MAN! It has to be ironed! Oh well, I'm sure I'll learn that charm eventually…oh wait, another tag! "the wearer of the suit is under an enchantment and guaranteed to get laid…" ! WHAT! YESSSSS! Whoa baby I'm getting it on tonight! Watch out Hermione here I COME!"
"Or don't cum… Sorry Ron I read the tag and worried about you so I did the sperm stop charm…."
"Yeah, I guess that's alright… whatever, but still, I wonder if it will over power the love potion!" asked Ron.
"That's worth a shot I suppose!" said Harry.
They left on a much happier note than Harry had expected, considering his best friend had an enchanted sex suit.
When they arrived at Hogwarts, the Great Hall was being decorated for the dance the next night and everyone seemed very eager to go. Hermione however had other inclinations.
"No Harry, Ron, for the millionth time, I am NOT going to the dance with either of you OR Draco, I am going ALONE, don't EVEN ask me why, or I will have a serious bitch fit… (thank you white chicks! The worst movie ever created!)" Hermione said and turned with a small sniff at breakfast that morning.
"Ok so can we go as friends then?" said Ron hopefully for the millionth- and- first time.
"You know what Ron? NO!"
There was a cold solemn feeling at the breakfast table that morning, but as soon as Hermione left for ancient runes Ron seemed to be openly upset.
"Why won't she go with me!" he said angrily.
"She doesn't need to go with you she only needs to dance with you long enough for your new suit to take effect, but after that don't let anyone else touch you for very long or the enchantment will be broken." Said Harry.
"Oh yeah I forgot about that wonderful thing!" said Ron then he set off to morning herbology with Harry right on his tail.
"You know Ron, you should be careful who you wear that suit around, what if Lavender dances with you longer than Hermione does?" said Harry.
"Oh, don't worry about her, that bitch isn't even getting CLOSE!"
That night at the Gryffindor common room…
"Hey I'll catch you guys later, I have to go to the library for an ancient runes book," said Hermione hurriedly and shot out the door again.
"Ohh something's up with that girl… We better tail her…" said Harry and took the invisibility cloak out of his pocket.
They followed Hermione to the library just as she had said. "Maybe she's not up to anything Harry," said Ron.
"Well I think she's meeting someone here, did you see her checking the clock?"
"Eh, maybe, probably not but I guess we will have to see then won't we," said Ron and lazily stepped into the library.
A familiar, tall, blonde, figure appeared from behind a shelf of books. "Hermione…" he whispered, "I need you so bad…" he grunted and sneered in Harry's direction.
She walked up to him and put her finger gingerly on his lips to quiet him. "Augh, I can't watch!" said Ron and he turned away.
All Harry could do was stand there hidden and stare that them snog, wishing it could be him and not Malfoy. He was still under the influence of the love potion and he loved her but in the back of his mind was this little voice that said he didn't, but this voice was only barely audible over all the other voices that were screaming to kill Malfoy and snog Hermione.
"Mmm… Draco," groaned Hermione and Malfoy lifted up her robes.
"Ron, RON" Harry whispered violently, "do you see what they're doing? They're going to do it right here in the library!"
"My god, I can't take it Harry… I have to get out of here!" and with that Ron pulled Harry out of the library.
"I knew she was up to something… Now I know just what she's….. umm… Ron? That had better DAMN well be your hand." Said Harry nervously.
"Uhhh, well looks like its time for me to get out form under this smelly cloak, no one can see us here! Heh heh…" said Ron and ducked out.
Ignoring Ron's little friend he had millions of other thoughts racing in his mind…
Ooh I like it! Hahaha it needs more sex… hmm.. yes yes… I will get them all wasted at the 7th years dance! YAY!