Luke
The bell above the door jingles as he leaves.
She sits at the counter sipping her coffee. The silence betrays her anger, her confusion. Rushing her to talk can only be counterproductive.
So I go about my normal tasks. I place the chairs on top of the tables in the diner. I finish wiping down all the surfaces in the diner. The monotony of the motions soothes me into a rhythm. For a moment I can forget the weight of the evening.
Lorelai sighs loudly, signaling she's ready to talk. I walk over to the counter and sit on the stool beside her.
"Did I push too far?" I ask evenly.
"I don't know," she breathes heavily, staring at the wall. The weight of her thoughts has suddenly become very clear in her face.
"I just thought…." I begin. "I just thought that since we hadn't been able to figure anything out, and he came to us…." I trail off. But I can't find the right words.
"It's for Rory, Lorelai. And if there's a chance it will help Rory, we have to consider it."
"I know Luke." She whispers as she turns to face me. I can see the pain written in her face. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?" she pleads. "I'm just so tired."
I nod. I walk over to turn the diner lights off, then take her hand and lead her up the stairs.
We undress and climb into bed in silence. She curls herself into my chest as I wrap my arms around her. If only I could keep the pain away from her this way.
Any sleep tonight will be restless.
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At some point during the night, I wake up to Lorelai clutching me tightly. I whisper her name quietly, but it is clear she is asleep.
I hold her tighter and hope that we can find our way past this. Sighing with the weight of realization, I hope that she and Rory can find their way past this
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I wake up early the next morning. Early even by my own standards. I decide to make the best of it. I go down to the diner and get everything set up and ready for the morning. Then I call Caesar and ask him to come in early.
Once Caesar has arrived, I tell him John will be in before the breakfast rush, and I make a quick omelet to take up to Lorelai for breakfast, along with a cup of coffee.
By this point it is only about 6:00 AM, but I know she won't be sleeping, so I decide we may as well talk now.
As I open the door to the apartment, I can already hear her stirring in the bed. I take the coffee and the food over and place it on the nightstand. She looks up at me and smiles weakly.
"You're an angel," she says, beginning to sit up in the bed. She takes the coffee from the nightstand and breathes deeply over the cup. She sips it quietly for a moment, and then looks at me, confused. "You're staying while I have breakfast?"
"I called Caesar in early," I answer, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We should probably talk about some things."
Lorelai looks at me, letting out a sigh and nodding. "Luke, do you remember when I bought your father's boat?"
"Yes," I reply. "Why?"
"Do you remember how angry you were when you first found out about it?"
"Yes," I can't quite figure out what direction she is going in, so I just try to follow. At the moment, I'm not doing a very good job.
She continues, "Then, after you thought about it for a while, you realized that maybe I did the right thing after all?" Even though she is making a statement, she ends it as a question.
I think I am finally catching up with her "I remember," I nod.
"I think we need to do a better job of talking to each other." She says, lowering her eyes.
And I'm lost again. But it doesn't seem like she has noticed. She's shifted directions on me, and I am not sure about the topic of conversation.
She continues, "Luke, why didn't you tell me Christopher came by before?"
"I…" I hesitate, but decide there is only one acceptable route. "Honestly?" I question.
"No, Luke, lie to me," she mutters, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"Because I knew you would be angry he came. And I also knew that if it was about Rory you'd give him a chance anyway. Just like you should." I spit the words out quickly, afraid that if I linger on them I'll stammer.
She lifts her head up, looking me in the eyes. "And you were right. Just like I was right about the boat."
Her eyes are shining. Her lip begins to tremble.
I'm starting to think there is more to this conversation than meets the eye. I take her face in my hand, stroking my thumb across her cheek.
"What?" I ask.
"Luke, you want to have a family with me, don't you?" She says it calmly, evenly. It is more of a statement than a question.
"Yes, Lorelai. We already discussed that, didn't we?"
"No, Luke. We mentioned it. We didn't discuss it." She closes her eyes tightly, rubbing her temples. "Luke, what would you say if I told you I thought I was pregnant?"
Pregnant? The word echoes in my head. A child. A baby. My baby. Our baby.
"Uh…" I can't seem to form the words. I point to myself.
"I…" Then I point to Lorelai.
"You…" I point to myself again and then back to her.
"We…" I sound like a moron. I can't seem to get anything beyond a single syllable out of my mouth.
Lorelai snaps me out of my stupor by touching my face. "Luke, I'm not pregnant," she says, stroking my cheek.
I'm no longer in a stupor, but I am still dumbfounded. I am incredibly confused. I look at her and open my mouth to say something, but as soon as I try to speak, I've forgotten what I am going to say.
"I thought I might be," she says, fear in her eyes. "After the party in New York. We came back here and things got a little…." She trails off. "A little crazy. And for a few days, I was really nervous, and I kept having these really strange cravings, and I thought I might be…" She takes a deep breath, "but I'm not."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper. My chest feels tight. I can't figure out why, but I feel afraid. Afraid I may have lost something. Though I am not at all certain what I may have lost. Especially when there was nothing to begin with.
"Because I thought it was my responsibility. I thought it was my own stupid mistake." She breathes.
"Lorelai, stop," I sigh in frustration. "It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together."