Wow chapter 3… I'd like to thank the lovely people who reviewed. Alexywill22- thanx, so far you are my favorite person. I'm going to use your Grams idea. S2C, thanks again, you are my favorite person from the TNT boards! Seedeadpeople98- they were great ideas, weren't they? I hope you use them. Oh, alexywill22, you can't steal anything fair and square! If that were true then I would own my boyfriend. There in lies the joke.

Thanks again all. Before we get started there's just one thing I'd like to say; It's not over till the fat lady sings. Unfortunately, my cousin's in another town! HA!

Crap, almost forgot the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Prue: "Nicole owns nothing! So don't sue."

Well that was vague and pointless.

Me: "Wow Prue can you believe it? We've made it all the way to chapter 3 with only minor bumps and bruises." (I look at Prue who is still missing teeth, but managed to get her leg sewed back on. She gives me a nasty look.)

Prue: "That's easy for you to say. After we finished the chapter Shax beat me up in the parking lot. People started making bets!"

Shax: "That was pretty funny. I've never seen you cry before."

Me: "Speaking of bets, Shax where's my $50?" (Shax hands me a 50. Prue looks hurt.) "Oh get over it. You knew our friendship, or whatever it is, is based on money. I don't wanna be your friend for free."

Prue: "What a insensitive gesture."

Shax: "I think I slapped her smart." (He slaps her on the back of the head.)

Prue: "Ouch, you unintelligent life form!"

Me: "Hit her again." (He does.)

Prue: "Ow, you mean-demon-person!"

Me: "That's better, now let's get down to business. Before we recap I have another surprise for Prue. Well actually she gets it later."

Prue: "NO! The last time I got a surprise from you I got him!" (Points to Shax who is flirting with our new cameraman. That's right, I said man!)

Shax: "Sorry, okay can we recap? All this stalling is making me wanna hurt Prue."

Me: "Okay here's a quick recap of chapter 2: Phoebe brought Cole back where they proceeded to get freaky on Phoebe's furniture. Then we stalled by checking up on Paige at work, dullsville. Then I brought Shax out, that was fun." (Shax nods. Prue doesn't.) "Um, Leo did it doggie style and fled because he has commitment issues with the creepy voice. Finally Piper and Paige were cryin' because Piper was alone and Paige was relieved she didn't have to live up to Prue's rep. Now here comes chapter 3."

Chapter 3: "Chris's Secret."

Chris orbed into Phoebe's office where she was surprisingly working. (I look at her computer.) No wait, she's looking at porn. Where's Cole?

Chris: "Phoebe I gotta talk to you about something. I figure if I tell you here, in your office, where there's witnesses out side, you won't be as brutal."

Phoebe: (Giggling) "Ah Chris, will you give me a sec please?"

Chris: (Annoyed) "Fine," (Steps out side.)

Phoebe: (Looks under her desk at Cole. What they're doing is up to you. But it's pretty self-explanatory because Phoebe's pants are down!) "Cole, okay, get up. I'm finished."

Cole: "Good, who's Chris?" (Gets up, Phoebe zips up her jeans.)

Phoebe: "My nephew. I mean my nephew from the future. He's Piper's and Leo's. Long story short, I'm the only one who knows."

Cole: (In a sing-song voice.) "And now I know too!"

Phoebe: "Yes, now I need you to go pre-occupy yourself or we're not gonna do that thing you wanted to do tonight."

Cole: "Alright, but remember, normal sex, not that freaky taboo shit you like so much. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak and spongy." (Little Futurama quote there.)

Phoebe: "No fun for me but whatever." (She pushes him out the door. Chris walks in and is about to sit down.) "Ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you." (About to sit on the couch.) "That's even worse." (Chris decides just to stand.)

Chris: "Who's that guy?" (Referring to Cole who is taping a 'Kick Me, Hard' sign on Elise's back. Someone kicks her.

Phoebe: "That's um- Cole- he's my demon boyfriend. Or my friend with benefits, or something along that line, now what do you have to tell me?"

Chris: (Looking like he's about to throw up.) "Okay, this is really important and I want you to think about all the positives of the situation." (Phoebe nods.) "Alright, hmm, ah, I'm-not really your nephew… I'm not even from the future. I'm from New York."

Phoebe: (Totally spacing on the fact that Chris just said he was from New York.) "Right," Breathe Phoebes, She thought. "Okay, positives, positives. I don't have to worry about Piper getting pregnant on your conception date. I-I could sleep with you now if I want." (Chris smiles hopefully.) "That doesn't mean I will." (He frowns.) "Negatives, you lied to me, you-you lied to me, and now I feel like I have to throw up." (She throws her (Cold) coffee on him.

Chris: "Okay, I deserved that. At least you didn't go Rogue on me like I thought you would."

Phoebe: "Tell me one thing, if you're not from the future and you're not Piper's and Leo's then why are you trying to protect Wyatt?"

Chris: "I can't tell you that now. Meet me outside the Manor tonight a 10pm and I'll tell you everything." (He orbs out. Phoebe rubs her temples. She's not too happy about her situation.)

Prue: "Wow, you could cut the tension in that room with a knife."

Me: "Huh?"

Prue: "I heard it on Court TV."

Shax: "Good for you now can we please give Prue her surprise now?"

Me: "I guess, but Shax, all I ask from you is that you don't act gay. You have a rep and it would be a shame for you to ruin it." (He nods.) "Alright our next guest needs no introduction, mainly because we couldn't think of one. Let's bring out…. PENNY HALLIWELL!" (All kinds of applause and whistles from only God knows where. Penny walks out looking beautiful as usual.)

Prue: "Grams!" (Tries to hug her but Grams pushes her down and starts to kiss Shax. Oh gag.)

Grams: "Thank you so much for having the courage to do what all of us couldn't!"

Prue: "What are you talking about?" (Shax is running around wiping his mouth, screaming;"Oh god she used tongue, SHE USED TONGUE!" He finds a pair or scissors and is about to cut his tongue out when I throw my hands out. And miraculously he freezes!)

Me: (I look at my hands, Grams stops choking Prue and she just has her hands on her throat. They're both staring at me." I-I froze him. Cool, I didn't even have to kill Piper to get this power!"

Prue: (Prue and Grams sit down.) "No fair, I wanted that power!"

Grams: "Oh shut up! God you're so annoying!"

Me: "Will you two please shut your mother-loving pies holes! I'm tryin to figure out how to unfreeze him." (I take the scissors outta his hand then flick my wrists he unfreezes.)

Shax: "How'd you get over here?"

Me: "I froze ya." (We both sit down.)

Prue: "I thought you said you were mortal?"

Me: "Well I am, or was, I dunno."

Grams: "Forget about it."

Me: "Okay, now why were you thanking Shax?"

Grams: "Because he actually killed Prue. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've put potions in her coffee, but none of them worked. They were supposed to give her a heart attack. Strangely, I'm the one who died of one."

Prue: "Well that hurts, is there anyone in this family that doesn't hate me?" (Everyone shakes their head and coughs uncomfortably.) "Jerks,"

Grams: "The world doesn't revolve around you Prue, now be quiet so we can get on with this story. I must say I'm not too happy about how it's going so far. Honestly, Leo's gay, Phoebe's a whore. I'm used to Phoebe being the black sheep. And Chris? You are a disturbed person Nicole."

Me: "Thanks, I think, coming from you that's not a compliment. Okie dokie, let's get goin again."

(Piper and Paige are sitting in the kitchen eating lunch and Piper's feeding Wyatt.)

Paige: "Well, if you wanna find out who Leo is getting jiggy with just cast a truth spell on him."

Piper: "I can't do that. Personal gain, it would probably make me reveal another secret I don't want anyone to find out about."

Paige: "More secrets? Man, Piper you're worse than 'Desperate Housewives' and that's saying something."

Piper: "I hate that show."

Paige: "You're damaged, anyway you wanna tell me who Wyatt's father is?"

Piper: "No way! You'll blab it out then Phoebe will know. Then she will tell someone then that someone will tell someone and so on, then finally it will end up back to Leo."

Paige: "Phoebe doesn't know? Ha, for once I'm one step ahead of the game."

Piper: "What game?"

Paige: "Game? I didn't say game." (Shifty eyes.) "I have to go!" (She orbs out leaving a very confused Piper.)

Piper: "That bitch is getting crazier every day."

Grams: "What's 'Desperate Housewives'?"

Shax: "You don't know, hell even I know!"

Me: (I roll my eyes.) "It's a TV show. You wouldn't like it. It's dirty."

Prue: "Well I getta watch it because in hell all the bad TV shows are always on."

Grams: "So does that mean that they have 'Beverly Hills 90210'?" (Prue gives her a nasty glance. Look I mixed their lives again. They're too boring on their own.)

Shax: "Even Satan's too afraid to play that show. Legend has it that every time it shows Brenda she takes a little bit of your soul." (He says that in a creepy voice.)

Me: "But she's on the screen like every 12 seconds! Oh god I'm 14 and I lost my soul!"

Prue: "Ah, you don't need it anyway, it just holds you back."

Grams: "People we're stalling again!"

(Now on to Leo. He's in his room packing up his stuff. Piper walks in.)

Piper: "Hey,"

Leo: "What now you're not gonna even call me names?"

Piper: "Look, I'm sorry I was mean earlier. It's a lot to handle for both of us."

Leo: "Yea, Piper you have to believe me. I said that I'd always love you no matter what."

Piper: "I love you too, but I don't think we can make this work." (They sit at the edge of the bed.)

Leo: "We could if we tried. All I have to do is become bi."

Piper: (Chuckles) "You don't have to do that. If we wanna be together you're gonna have to break up with that guy."

Leo: "Already done," (They lean in and kiss. Knowing this is gonna cause some problems. Leo lays her down on the bed and they keep kissing. Leo starts to unbutton her top….) (Grams interrupts. Not them, me.)

Grams: "Okay that's enough, you pervs don't need to see my granddaughter making up with her husband."

Shax: "Everyone already knows what's gonna happen. And it's too late to protect them. Phoebe came out with a movie last year called…"

Grams: "I don't wanna know what it's called!" (The cameraman looks from behind the camera and raises his hand.)

Cameraman: "I wanna know." (Grams uses her powers to kill the cameraman with his camera. He screams and blows up.)

Prue: "Ah, why'd he blow up?"

Me: "Because half the crew are demons. The other half made up of midgets. Thanks a lot, now we have to hire another cameraman!"

Prue: "Speaking of midgets, what ever happened to the Oompa Loompa's you promised last week?"

Me: "Ugh, Wonka decided to be an ass and he said 'no'. Seriously, you do cannon balls into the chocolate pool a couple of times. And maybe let your dog swim, and maybe pee in it, and it's suddenly contaminated."

(Everybody looks at me oddly.)

Shax: "Alreightee then, we should-ah see if Piper and Leo are finished."

(Nope, still doing it. Leo's going all slowly, figures.)

Leo: "Piper…Piper…Piper… Oh god… Chris!" (Leo smiled and rolled off her. Piper lay there.)

Piper: Did he just say Chris? She thought. (Leo was oblivious to the fact that the person lying next to him was indeed not Chris. He didn't even realize he said it. Piper sat up.) "You-said-Chris…" (Her jaw hanging open.)

Leo: (He shot up) "Wha, no I didn't!"

Piper: "Yes you did. You said my name then you said his you sick freak!"

Leo: "I didn't say Chris! I-I said Christ!" (The jig was up he had been found out. Now he would be alone because Piper was going to leave him and kill Chris.)

Piper: "You slept with Chris! My Whitelighter, I thought I was the only one in the family that went for them, how could you!"

Leo: "Piper, calm down please, you have no right to be angry with me! After all, you cheated on me!"

Piper: "So, I did it with a member of the opposite sex! I have to throw up." (She runs into the bathroom and does exactly that.)

Leo: (Thinking) Now's my chance. (He grabs everything he can before the door starts opening. He only has his boxers and a pair of socks. Chris is gonna love that.)

Piper: "And another thing…" (Notices he's gone.) "Dammit!"

(Leo orbs into a motel room.) "Chris!" (Said in a shaky voice, he's on the verge of tears. He sat and waited for Chris he decided not to tell him what Piper and he did. Chris orbs in. He notices Leo's lack of clothes, but pushes the thought out of his head when he sees Leo sad.)

Chris: "What's wrong?" (Sits next to Leo.)

Leo: "Piper found out I'm with you."

Chris: "How!"

Leo: "It may or may have not slipped out."

Chris: "What? Leo, now she's gonna come after me and kill me! We won't be able to be together and have that house by the ocean and the two kids we dreamed about."

Leo: (Crying) "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. This all my fault!" (He cries some more and Chris holds him.)

Chris: (Whispers in a sinister voice.) "Don't worry I'll deal with her."

Shax: Bum, bum, bum!"

Me: "Did that scene make anyone else uncomfortable?" (Everyone nods.)

Prue: "I've never seen Leo cry before. Except when they got married, but that's normal crying. That over there was just…Creepy." (She shudders.)

Grams: "How come Paige orbed out like that?"

Me: " Oh she has a hilarious secret!" (I whisper it in her ear. She laughs.)

Grams: "Oh my, that's wonderful!"

Prue: (Whiny voice) "What?"

Grams&me: "Nothing!"

Shax: "I know what it is." (Prue starts choking him.)

Prue: "Tell me!" (Shax gags then Grams uses her power to throw Prue into the wall. She passes out, finally.)

Shax: "Thanks, I tried hitting her with a energyball earlier but it did nothing."

Me: "Well if I know Prue, and I think I do, she'll be up and talking in 20 minutes. Whatever, look I gotta go over some notes real fast so you two go talk amongst yourselves. While I do that, the rest of you crazed people get to continue the story."

(Phoebe's in her office with Cole. He's actually working. No, I'm serious, he's typing up Phoebe's column! She's on the couch, looking like she's in deep thought when she's probably deciding which outfit she's gonna wear tomorrow.)

Cole: "Phoebe, how do you spell psycho?"

Phoebe: "It's on the spell check."

Cole: "Thanks, Okay in one word describe yourself."

Phoebe: "Right now, agitated because someone won't shut up!"

Cole: (Whispering as he types.) "Morbidly psychotic."

Phoebe: "Cole what are you doing?"

Cole: "One of your readers wanted to know more about you."

Phoebe: "So you put 'morbidly psychotic'? No, I'm: Sweet, funny, smart, have a good sense of humor, and care about everyone."

Cole: (Talking while typing.) "Translated to; Mean, dull, stupid as shit, have a twisted sense of humor, and want to rape your dog. (He prints out the copy. Phoebe tries to stop him as he takes it to Elise. She takes it and walks off.

Phoebe: (In a high-pitched voice.) "Why'd you do that? I could lose my job because of that smart-ass remark." (She starts to leave and Cole follows her.)

Cole: "Wait, if you just hear me out you'll like my idea." (Phoebe stops and turns around. She crosses her arms.)

Phoebe: "I'm listening,"

Cole: "Okay, I know that your sick of being a Charmed One since Prue died, Am I right?" (Phoebe nods.) "Right, so I figure I use some of the powers I collected from the Demon Wasteland to gain control of the Underworld…again."

Phoebe: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say." (She keeps walking. Cole keeps following her.)

Cole: "Actually it's probably the smartest. You see, if we're evil that means no personal gain. Besides that, you can get rid of the Elders and use the Grimiore to bring back Prue with the Resurrection Spell." (Phoebe stopped walking and spoke up without turning around.)

Phoebe: "Could I bring mom and Gram's back too?"

Cole: "Of course!"

Phoebe: (She turns around) "What about Piper and Paige?"

Cole: "What about them? When they see what you can do with Dark Magic they'll accept it. What do you say? Rule by my side as my queen, or suffer fighting evil for the rest of your life?"

Phoebe: "I don't know, I have to think about it. It's tempting but I just don't know." (She walks off leaving Cole standing there.)

Me: "Ooh, that's a good place to stop, right guys?" (Prue sadly woke up.)

Prue: "I think so. What about you guys? Guys?" (We look over in the corner and Grams and Shax are making out!) "Ahhhhhhhh!" (they stop.)

Grams: "And that's how you give CPR to a dead person." (They both sit down nervously.)

Shax: "Very interesting. What are you two looking at? Get on with the story!" (Prue's and mine's mouths are hanging open.)

Me: "We-finished-it-already…"

Prue: "I think I need to go call my therapist." (She gets up and walks away. Still in shock.)

Ugh, creepy. Ok end of chapter 3. This one had minimal stalling! I think I'm getting the hang of this thing! Ok R&R or Suffer. (There now alwxywill22 can't say I stole from her!) I'm open to suggestions regarding chap 4. Like what should Paige's secret is. Or will Phoebe choose the Dark Side? Not Star Wars. In the words of Yoda; R&R you must, or Kung Fu I will go on yo ass! Peace!