A/N Have I mentioned that I love my betas? Orbit and Conny rock my world. And thanks to lilienprinzessin for helping me with Emily. Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews. They make me smile.

Oh, and in case you missed it, the night of the finale is D-day

Did we expect these things to change
By waking up and suddenly there they are
And all I need's a starting place
And nothing ever seemed so hard...
Toad the Wet Sprocket – Whatever I Fear

Lorelai

"Lorelai, stop," Luke said, sighing in frustration. "It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together."

"Really?" I ask, becoming frustrated myself. "Then why the hell did you buy a house without consulting me?"

"You didn't tell me about the offer from Mike Armstrong," he shoots back.

I sigh loudly and close my eyes. Maybe when I open them everything will suddenly be clear. I doubt it, but here's hoping.

"Luke, we have a serious problem," I say, as fear starts to grip me. "And I don't think we should start planning our future until we solve it."

Luke is staring at his hands silently.

"You're right, you know," I tell him, reaching over and touching his shoulder.

"About what?" he asks.

"It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together." I sigh, pausing for a moment. "And I have a hell of a long way to go in this relationship. I have to learn to give some things over to you. But Luke, you have to give some things over to me as well."

I touch his cheek as he looks up and catches my eyes. There is fear peeking from behind his soulful blue eyes.

Strangely enough, seeing his fear brings me a sense of calm. We really are in the same place.

"Luke, don't be afraid. We'll figure it out. Because it is about i us /i ."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The morning after D-day

I wake up with the most indescribable mix of emotions I've ever felt in my life. I am elated, but immensely sad at the same time. I take a deep breath, and my senses are filled with that wonderful, calming smell. Luke.

I take another deep breath. I open my eyes, and Luke is walking toward me with a cup of coffee one hand and a donut in the other.

"Hi," he says, grinning at me. He walks over to the edge of the bed and sits down, putting the coffee and the donut on the nightstand.

"Hi," I respond, grinning back. I reach down and start playing with the ring on my finger. I hold up my hand, wiggling my fingers and pointing the ring at him. "Look what I got!" I exclaim, almost giddy.

"I saw that," he says, playing along. "Quite fancy, huh?"

"It's perfect," I sigh. "I can't wait to tell…" Shit. There it is. The weight of the world falling down on me.

Luke notices the change and reaches over to take my hand in his. "We'll figure something out, don't worry. It will be okay."

Shit, shit, shit. Shit.

"I have to tell her, Luke. And I can't wait. The whole town already knows. If it gets to her any other way, she'll never forgive me."

"So what are you going to do?" he asks, stroking my hair.

"I'm just going to go tell her. No matter how bad it is, it can only be worse if I wait or don't do it."

I get out of bed and walk over to the closet, pulling out one of the outfits I keep at Luke's.

Luke walks over and kisses me quickly.

"You know I love you and I'm here for you," he says, leaning his forehead against mine. "Just tell me if I can do anything."

My heart swells. "I will," I whisper. "I love you too," I say, stroking his cheek.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I drive to Hartford, I try to decide what the best strategy is for telling Rory. After agonizing a while, I decide that while I am there, I may as well tell my parents, too. Numb is numb.

I take out my phone and dial my parents' number.

"Hello," I hear my mother's voice on the line.

"Hi, Mom" I say, trying to sound normal.

"Lorelai?" she exclaims.

"Mom, I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me, but before you say anything let me lay this out for you." I take a deep breath and continue before she can say anything. "I am on my way to your house. When I get there, I am going straight to the pool house to talk to Rory. Then, if you and Dad have time, I would like to come into the house and talk to you."

Silence.

"Mom?"

"That's fine, Lorelai." She says quickly, "We'll see you in a bit."

I'm taken aback. That was too easy.

"Bye, Mom," I utter as I hang up the phone. Something isn't right. But I don't have time to try and figure it out now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rory is sitting and reading when I knock on the door of the pool house. She looks surprised when she notices me. What a stupid observation. Of course she is surprised.

She opens the door and says, in her Bambi voice no less, "Hi Mom."

"Hey kid. Can I come in?" I try to sound cheery.

"Uh, sure," she says, stepping aside. I can tell that I've thrown her off balance by showing up here. She's confused. She doesn't know what to expect. And I can tell by her face she's not exactly thrilled to see me.

We stand there looking at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

And I'm off "Okay, so I have something to tell you. Something big. And I don't want you to hear it anywhere else. So, for just a few minutes, can the two of us forget about recent events for a while?"

"Okay," she says, wide-eyed. I can tell she doesn't know what is coming next.

I take my hand and hold it in front of her face, wiggling my fingers.

"NO!" she screams.

"YES!" I scream back.

"NO!" she screams again.

"YES!" I scream again. "Okay, this is getting old."

"What happened? Who proposed? Wait, there's a ring, he must have proposed!" She grabs my hand and drags me over to the couch. "Tell me everything."

"Well, it went a bit differently than you might think. I was upset last night, and I went to see Luke. And he started laying out all these plans for how he was going to "fix" everything. And it clicked. It's Luke," I draw out his name for emphasis. "So I asked him to marry me."

"What?" she asks, dumbfounded.

"Funny, that's exactly what he said!" I giggle. "Except, you know – more manly. So after he said 'What?' in that manly way of his…" And I proceed to tell her the rest of the story.

After I've put it all out there, Rory whispers, "Wow. Mom, that's….wow. You and Luke. Getting married!" She stands up, pacing back and forth, waving her hands wildly. "When? What are you doing about the houses? A family? Does that mean what I think it does?"

"Slow down, Rory. We haven't decided when yet. And we're not sure about the houses. And I'm not sure if a family means what you think it does. Luke and I still have a lot to discuss." My heart aches as I talk about family.

"Look, Rory, I don't want you to think that this has suddenly made everything okay between us." I inform her, staring at the floor. "I just – I had to tell you. And I couldn't wait. Because no matter what else has happened, you're still my best friend." My voice wavers as I say the last words, looking up at her.

When I do, I see those beautiful blue eyes are staring at me. And she nods, slowly. She comes over and hugs me tightly.

"I think it's incredible, Mom. You and Luke. He's just….he's i your /i Luke. I've never seen anyone make you so happy." Rory smiles, taking a deep breath.

Her shift in tone is palpable, "Mom, I love you. And I don't want to disappoint you. I just feel like this is something I have to do."

I try to match her tone "Hon, I think you're making the wrong choice. And I told you that already." I close my eyes for a minute. "Just promise me that you won't run from me. You won't hide from me. Don't shut me out altogether," I plead. "Nothing good can come of that." I add quickly, standing up and heading for the door.

She nods. We both feel the tension returning and decide not to prolong the goodbye. I offer a weak wave, and she returns the same. At least we were able to forget for a moment.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I leave the pool house, I decide it will probably be easiest to walk around to the front of the house and knock on the front door to see my parents.

When I get to the door, I reach up and ring the bell quickly. I'm afraid that if I hesitate, I will lose my nerve. The maid opens the door, and tells me my parents are waiting for me in the living room.

As I walk in, my mother is standing behind my father, who is sitting on the couch. They look like they belong in a portrait.

"Mom, Dad, thank you for seeing me." I say weakly. Gathering my courage, I continue, "There is something important happening in my life. Something big. And Luke and I think that you should be informed about it as soon as possible."

My father nods slowly, indicating that I should continue. I can't help but notice that he is absolutely silent, almost grim as he listens to me. My mother is standing behind him, frozen. She is stone-faced.

"Luke and I are engaged. We're going to get married," I announce. "We haven't set a date or made any decisions yet, but we thought that you should know early in the process."

Both Mom and Dad are slow to respond. "Well, that's wonderful, Lorelai," my father finally manages to expel with not quite enough false enthusiasm.

"Send Luke our congratulations," my mother says flatly. "You'll tell us if there is anything we can do to help?"

"I'm sure we can manage, Mom, but thank you," I reply. I can't determine what my mother is thinking, and she's so measured in her response that it is making me very nervous.

After an awkward silence, I begin to turn in the direction of the front door, preparing myself to leave. I take a deep breath and spew a few last words before I lose courage. "Mom, Dad. I'm really hurt by what you did. I won't pretend I'm not. And I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to get past this one. But I'm finished with the lies, and the hiding. It's time to grow up."

My father nods silently, staring off into space. My mother doesn't budge – she is still staring at me blankly. Her face gives no indication as to what she is thinking.

I turn slowly and walk toward the front door. Just as I reach it, I hear footsteps behind me.

I turn to see who it is, and my mother reaches out and touches my forearm lightly. "Lorelai," she says slowly. "Do you love him?"

With tears welling up in my eyes, I nod slowly. "More than I ever thought possible," I manage to choke out.

She steps away from me and offers a single nod. I open the door as I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself for the drive home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Four days since D-Day

I reach into the mailbox to see what the day has brought, and there is a small package with my mother's writing on it. Curious, I tear open the envelope before I am even back in the house.

As I open the package, a small lace handkerchief, folded delicately, falls into my hand, along with a small piece of note paper.

Lorelai,

On her wedding day, my mother borrowed this handkerchief from my grandmother. On my wedding day, I borrowed this handkerchief from my mother.

I realize you do not have the details for your wedding planned yet, but I wanted to ensure that whatever your plans, you would be able to borrow this handkerchief for your wedding day.

Love,

Mom

Fifteen minutes later, when Luke comes by to drop off my dinner, I am still sitting on the couch crying.