Stained Halo
Chapter 8: Possibly Maybe
"All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are"
- Cary Brothers
"Okay, you can do this, it's not that big of a deal."
Aeris closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She stood before a horribly frightening task. It was the type of trial that held the power to turn even the bravest and strongest of men into a sweaty, nervous heap. Balling up the scrap of paper she had copied Zack's phone number down on, she fell back on her bed and let out a huge groan.
She stared at the ceiling while creating what seemed the millionth mental list that day of all the reasons she was being completely ridiculous.
Sure, it was her first time sort of asking someone on a date, but it wasn't really a date. She was just calling him to pay him back for the hotel. He was the one who'd mentioned grabbing a drink. Anyway, when did drinking something turn anything into a date?
It wasn't even as if Aeris was the shy type. The only thing stopping her from just picking up the phone and calling him was the fact that their first meeting had been horribly embarrassing. But that was really all the more reason to call him, wasn't it? To prove she wasn't usually an idiotic drunk, and to thank him again for how kind he'd been to her. His gorgeous eyes and charming smile certainly played no role in the matter.
She just wished there was someone she could talk to about this stuff. The only person that she once had for that was Gloria. But they hadn't spoken since that awful morning a week prior. Either way, she felt her situation would be a lot easier to deal with if she had someone to overanalyze every detail with.
Thirteen year old girls are better at this than you, Aeris inwardly insulted herself. She would hit adulthood in one year, and here she was making the biggest issue out of a non-date.
Growing tired of thinking the matter over so much, she quickly reached over to her phone and punched in the numbers before she could stop herself.
Unknowingly, she held her breath while the dial tone rang, and couldn't help but hope for answering machine.
"Hello?"
Oh no.
"Uhm, hi, this is Aeris! From last week."
"Hey! Finally calling eh? Was worried you might've passed out somewhere else by now."
Aeris turned very red and there was silence until his laughter came through the phone.
"I'm kidding. Anyway, how are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine. The reason I was actually calling was to see if we could meet somewhere so I could pay you back for that hotel."
"In that case, you might as well hang up, cause I already said you won't be paying for it."
"But I really would feel better if you would just let me pay you."
"Cut it out. Besides, I told you that all the payment I'd take is a drink. If you want to do that, I'll be happy to take you up on it."
Finally having to confront the moment she'd been so afraid of, she found herself pausing in nervousness for a second.
"Well, if that's what it takes, then I guess I'll have to take you out."
Aeris was surprised at how flirtatious her voice could sound.
"Thank you for making that sacrifice. So we're on then."
Plans were arranged for him to pick her up that night at nine. And as Aeris hung up the phone, she had to remind herself one more time that his gorgeous eyes and charming smile played absolutely no role in the matter.
Aeris examined herself in the mirror one last time at 8:50 that night. Her hair was falling over a simple white tank top in honey waves. A long, flowing pink skirt swooshed above golden sandals that revealed a small golden anklet above her foot. She didn't look bad. At least Gloria had taught her how to dress.
She made her way downstairs to the living room to wait for Zack, and found Luke sitting on one of the couches. He was talking to his personal advisor, Byrne. She sat across from them; silently counting the seconds it would take for them to notice she was in the room. It was small things such as these that she amused herself with around the house.
After seven full seconds, Luke looked up from the documents they were pouring over.
"Going out?"
"Yup."
"With Gloria?" he asked mechanically, already looking back down at his work.
"Nope, with a friend."
"You don't have friends," he noted matter-of-factly.
She rolled her eyes, "I do now."
"That's good," he mumbled, before pointing something out to Byrne and losing himself in that conversation once again.
"Good talking to you," she smirked, knowing he wouldn't hear her.
She began to play with the bouquet she'd placed on the living room table. It was an arrangement of plum colored daisy poms and mini carnations. She picked one of the daisies out of the vase, and after removing most of the stem, placed it in her hair. Gloria always scoffed whenever Aeris decorated her hair with flowers, calling it childish and tacky. Aeris loved it, and never could quite get herself to give it up.
Within minutes the doorbell rang. Luke waved his hand around without looking up, giving her his usual goodbye. Byrne continued to ignore her completely.
She felt little butterflies fluttering around the pit of her stomach as she approached the door, and tried to make herself looknonchalant. As soon as she opened the door though, the offhand look faded from her face, and she smiled brightly at the young man before her.
"Hey."
Zack smiled back. He was dressed casually, sporting some jeans and an untucked button up shirt.
"Ready?"
She nodded and walked out and down the front steps with him.
"You got some house," he commented, looking around at the mansion with a wide-eyed fascination.
Aeris shrugged, "Yeah, I loved it as a child, but it's beginning to look more and more ridiculous to me."
"Bored of living in a palace, princess?" he teased.
"Oh, shut up," she laughed.
He started up the car and they drove past the gates. She found herself talking to him with incredible ease, and as she was swept into a great conversation, the worry that had plagued her about whether their get together was a date or not began to matter less and less.
She found out Zack was a first class SOLDIER, which surprised her a bit. She always imagined SOLDIERs as tough-as-steel, emotionless machines. Zack seemed so kind and full of energy; she couldn't imagine him in any kind of stoic military formation.
In ten minutes' time they climbed out of his car and entered a well-known lounge in downtown Midgar. It was decorated in a manner that resembled the style of the far western empire.
"Are those real Wutaian ninja scrolls?" Aeris asked, pointing at the adornment that lined the wall.
"Who knows," Zack answered, "Ten years ago, I'd have said no way, but Wutaian art is more and more common around the world. Lots of tourism."
They sat down at a small table for two, and Aeris continued talking.
"I'd love to go to Wutai. I was reading this book about the mountain ranges there, apparently they're the largest in the world, and Wutaians have no problem navigating around them."
Zack looked slightly confused, "Your parents seem to have a lot of money. I thought a lot of the richer crowd goes on vacation there a lot."
"Well, my stepfather is certainly very wealthy. But the only place he refuses to step foot in during his time off work is Costa del Sol. And he's never invited me along, so I actually haven't been outside of Midgar."
"You're not missing all that much," he replied, "I know Midgar's not perfect, but there's a lot of better opportunities here."
Aeris raised a brow skeptically, "Like what?"
He looked around, shaking his head slightly, as if he didn't know where to begin.
"Like the opportunity to make a name for yourself. To make enough money to support yourself with more than the bare necessities."
She regarded what he said for a few moments, and then giving him a searching look, asked carefully, "Is that why you came here?"
Zack smiled, pleasantly surprised by the girl's acute perception.
"Yeah, it is. I'm actually from a tiny town called Gongaga. My parents ran a small shop there, like everyone else. We never had much, and I guess the plan was for me to run the shop after them. But…"
"But?"
Stretching his arms behind him, he tried to think of the best way to explain his actions.
"But it wasn't for me. My mother once told me I'd outgrown Gongaga by the time I was five, and she was scared I'd outgrow the world at twenty. Which is kind of true. During the Wutai war the word spread about Sephiroth and the elite SOLDIERs. I grew up dreaming of that kind of glory. So when I turned sixteen, I decided it was time to reach for my dreams. I moved to Midgar, enlisted in the military, and worked my way up."
"Wow…"
Although the way Zack was speaking made it seem as if being accepted into SOLDIER was easy, Aeris knew better. She knew that only the top one percentof the Shinra army made it in, and that even less reached the First Class status. Aeris guessed that Zack must've trained for this all of his life. She tried to picture him as a young boy, dreaming of becoming famous like General Sephiroth one day, and found that the picture pieced together very well.
"What about Gongaga? Don't you ever miss your parents?"
"Sometimes. I try to call and write as much as possible, but there are a lot of distractions in this city to keep me from missing them too much," he stopped to look at her in such a way that made her feel like she was blushing from head to toe, "The main thing I miss about Gongaga, is actually this."
Aeris froze as he brought his hand up to her face, and ran his fingers through her hair.
"Wh...what…" she stammered, looking much like a deer caught in headlights.
But the next moment she saw he was holding the flower she'd put in her hair. He brought it up to his face and smelled it.
"I miss nature. Everything was so green around there; I always had trees to climb and bushes to hide in. Nothing grows in Midgar. Where'd you get this anyway, import it from Kalm?"
Aeris was still recovering from him touching her face, but quickly answered, trying to sound composed, "No, I grew it myself."
"Are you serious?" He asked, looking astounded.
She nodded, "We've got a couple of green houses behind the house. My stepfather lets me use a little corner of one for my flowers in exchange for taking care of his crop."
Immediately, Aeris regretted what she said. She couldn't believe she'd just brought up the greenhouses. The look in Zack's eyes told Aeris that he'd caught her slip, but after seeing how distressed she looked right afterwards, decided not to press the matter.
Thankfully, a waitress arrived and redirected their attention.
"Hey, can I grab you anything to…" she looked up at them, and her eyes widened, "Zack!"
Zack looked back slightly surprised, "Oh, hey Miyako."
It wasn't difficult for Aeris to guess what the look that passed between the two meant. Miyako was beautiful—she had the kind of straight, jet-black hair Aeris always loved, and was tall with exotic features.
"I haven't seen you in a while, stranger," she cooed at Zack, seemingly not noticing Aeris next to him.
Zack scratched the back of his head nervously, "Yeah, I've been busy, you know."
"Well you should really clear up an hour or two for me sometime. Or if I recall correctly, five," she shot him an enticing look.
Oh my god. Aeris cleared her throat, feeling extremely uncomfortable. The waitress finally noticed she was there, and looked back and forth between Zack and Aeris a couple of times before widening her eyes and letting out a small "oh." An awkward silence ensued, finally broken by a slightly red Zack.
"But yeah, anyway! Drink, Aeris?"
The way she was feeling, she would've liked to order a hard drink. But remembering what happened the last time she drank, she decided on sparkling water instead.
"Make that two," Zack said, trying to act as if nothing had happened.
"Coming right up!"
The waitress left without any more comments to Zack, but Aeris could've sworn she saw her wink at him before she walked away.
"Sorry about that, uh, she's an old acquaintance," he apologized.
"Oh no, that's fine, I don't care!" Aeris said in a tone that wound up sounding a bit higher than she intended.
It was fine. Like she told herself before, it wasn't a date. She was with him because she owed him one. If they came across ten of his little girlfriends, it wouldn't matter a tiny bit to her. She was used to it from going out to dinner with Luke.
"Do you run into old acquaintances a lot, then?" The answer had slipped out before she could stop herself. Embarrassed, she quickly added, "You don't have to answer that."
He laughed, not a tiny bit taken back by her brashness, "Never usually happens, really."
Sure, she thought to herself. The amity she'd felt a few minutes prior towards him was slowly ebbing. Now she found herself instinctively drawing out similarities between him and another womanizer in her life.
"You know, I've been talking about myself this whole time, and never given you a chance to say anything about yourself."
Good at switching the topic, this is beginning to seem familiar.
Aeris shrugged, smiling, "Not much to know, really."
"Why do I not believe you?" he teased.
She grinned back innocently, and Zack found himself thinking she had one of the most mysterious smiles he'd ever laid eyes on.
"You said you've never left Midgar? So your family's from here?"
Giving in to his attempt at prying information out of her, Aeris answered carefully.
"Kind of. My adoptive father is. My real parents are from an area far north from here, but they passed away when I was really young."
"Oh, sorry to hear about that."
"It's okay," Aeris replied, as a different waitress delivered their drinks.
"Nice of your step-dad to take you in though."
"Yeah, real nice."
The dripping sarcasm was easily detectable in her usually gentle voice.
"Do you not get along with him?"
She shook her head, "Not really. Well, I mean, it's complicated. I guess we've just got very different point of views."
Breaking off, she thought about how much she should and shouldn't tell Zack. He was listening attentively, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, it's no use pretending he's a great man. You've lived in Midgar long enough to know that people as involved with Shinra and wealthy as he is aren't saints."
"Involved with Shinra?"
"Yes, he just started a partnership with them. Luke Cole."
Zack gave a low whistle, "You're Luke Cole's daughter?"
"Yes," she answered quietly, with a slightly sour look on her face.
"That's so strange," Zack was now inspecting her closely, "I've met the kids of other guys like him before, and you're nothing like them."
"What do you mean?" Aeris asked, although she already had an idea of what he meant. There was a reason she never wound up great friends with any of those people.
"They tend to be spoiled brats. Always got a way of talking down to you, even if their only talent is spending their parents' money. And you, you're…"
He tried to think of the right words.
"Well, obviously I don't know you that well yet. But you seem really decent, Aeris. I know you said you don't get on well with Mr. Cole, but it doesn't seem like he's done that bad a job on you."
Aeris snorted, "I'm sorry. I'm not much better than any of the 'spoiled brats' you just mentioned."
"Yes you are."
"No, I'm really not," she insisted. He didn't know her. She suspected he was just complimenting her for the same purpose that Luke complimented women. To get something out of it.
"It's the way you treat people."
"What?"
The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards, "It's like…when you look at people, you really look at them. This whole time you've talked to me, you've actually listened to what I said. You got a lot of respect for others, and that's rare in this city."
She regarded his words silently, looking down at her hands. Slight guilt welled up within her, for the doubt that she still felt towards him.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Aeris. You're doing just fine."
Looking back up at him, she couldn't help but think... Womanizer or not, he was a really sweet guy.
The rest of their time together was spent pleasantly. They spoke about Midgar and Gongaga, about Shinra and politics, about music and movies, dumb jokes, about anything that crossed their minds—they both loved to talk and did plenty of it. And when it was time to leave, Aeris made Zack let her pay despite his protests about "chivalry."
As they drove back, they continued to talk nonstop. She was amazed at how well she could relate to someone she'd just gotten to know. After pulling up in her circular driveway, he stopped at the entrance to her house, and shut off the car. He stepped out, and opened the door for her, offering her his arm.
She laughed and rolled her eyes in response, stating that this time she could walk by herself.
"I had a really great time tonight, Zack, thanks," she said as they climbed the stairs to her door.
"Yeah, I guess it was bearable for me too."
She playfully smacked his arm, rolling her eyes. When they reached the top step, they stopped and turned to face each other.
"Well, goodnight then," Aeris said cheerfully, but felt her smile waver nervously as she realized how near she was standing to him.
"Goodnight," he responded, also hushed to a near-whisper by their closeness. Neither made a movement to turn away.
She could really see how his eyes glowed in the darkness, the green slowly swirling like water in a forest pond. Her breath was caught in her throat, and she found herself unable tolook away from his gaze. They remained there for some time, locked in each other's eyes, moving closer at an excruciatingly slow pace. When his lips were mere inches from her, her lids seemed so heavy to her, it felt natural to lower them. To close her eyes, and just drink in the sweet sensation of his warmth.
But with the silent thrill of her oncoming first kiss, suddenly appeared an image in her mind of Gloria. Of Gloria's tear-streaked face that first time she'd discovered Luke cheated on her. A floodgate of other thoughts was torn open; Luke flirting with countless women, his manipulative smile, his deceptive words, and the ease with which it all came to him. And then a flash of Zack.
She opened her eyes, and found his lips too close. Without thinking, she pushed him away, and took a step back so she was pressed against the door.
"I…I have to go."
Aeris didn't want to see the way he was looking at her. Quickly turning around, she stepped in the door and shut it in his face. She rushed up to her room, feeling full of shame and guilt. It took a lot of will not to run to her window and watch him pull away, knowing she'd just ruined a perfect evening. And as she laid down to sleep, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd go back after all, and take up the waitress on her offer.
A/N: Ooh, drama. Did you guys like the length of this chapter better than the last one? I want to play around with shorterchapters for a while, with the intention of more frequent updates (hopefully). But if the quality starts decreasing along with the word count, I'll go back to my old way.
But more importantly, thanks for still reading this! And a huuuuuge thanks for everyone who took the time to leave me reviews. It means very, very much to me.
Second, I went back and edited some of the older chapters. Mostly, it's just wording and dialogue I wasn't happy with, but there were a few key plot revisions. Here are the changes that you need to know:
1. Luke doesn't know about Aeris escaping from the lab
2. In exchange for Aeris helping out in the green houses, she gets a monthly payment of 2000 gil (half of which she donates), and a few square feet to grow her own flowers.
Each chapter seems to be a constant work in progress, but I'll try to keep the plot revisions to a minimum. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you guys thought about this chapter and how everything's rolling along in general. And as for the question about Reno; patience. ;) He'll play a bigger role in Aeris' life soon-ish.