Chapter 9- Holy crap! Chapter 9!
Me: "I'm confused, who's all still here?
Prue: "Well we've got the most important person- Me, then we have you, mom, Andy, Dan, and Barbas…that's it."
Patty: "Hmm, I think it's time for another switch."
Prue: "You're right mom," (She pulls a lever next to her.) "You are the weakest link, good-bye." (Jenny falls from the ceiling and lands in Patty's seat.) "Oh no, not this bitch."
Jenny: (Scared, then sees Dan.) " Dan? W-what are we doing here?"
Dan: "I thought I killed you!" (Looks at Jenny's back and she has a stab wound.) (Chuckles) "Never mind,"
Me: "Of all the people! Ugh, whatever- she'll do. Jenny I'm Nicole, that's Andy… forget it, on with the story."
Barbas: "What's wrong with her?"
Piper: "Gideon, what are you doing here?"
Gideon: "I came to get Wyatt, I want custody of him."
Leo: "What! You're his father!"
Chris: "Hey, he's mine too!"
Phoebe: "Shh!"
Leo: "Gideon? Of all people, why?"
Piper: "I think I'd better explain. See it all happened a year and a half ago. I went to a singles mixer…"
Leo: "But we were still married then."
Piper: "I know that! Anyway Gideon and I met, we had a few drinks, next thing I know I'm lying on a bed in some cheap hotel room next to a hairy old man."
Chris: "Eww, didn't need to hear that."
Gideon: "Get used to it son, all that hair is hereditary."
Chris: "NOOOOOOOO!" (He starts running around in circles.)
Piper: "Well you're not getting custody Gideon."
Gideon: "I don't want custody. I just wanted to make a dramatic entrance. I actually came because I traced this place to where the grand design shifted. So I figured Phoebe must have done something stupid." (Phoebe crosses her arms and pouts.)
Chris: "What about me! Dad haven't you even noticed I'm stuck to Piper!"
Gideon: (Not even looking at Chris.) "Yes son that's very nice. I'll hang it on the fridge when I get home."
Piper: "Anyway, I don't care about the Grand Design anymore. In fact I was taking advantage of it."
Gideon: "How so?"
Piper: "I don't feel like explaining it again. Phoebe and Cole will tell you. C'mon Paige, C'mon Leo." (The four of them orb away.)
Cole: "So you knocked up Piper huh? Right on!" (He puts his hand up for a high-five but Gideon just looks at him oddly. He puts his hand down.)
Andy: "How come Paige didn't say anything?"
Prue: "Have you not been paying attention? She is pregnant with Gideon's baby!"
Me: "Or is she?" (Everyone looks at me. Including Alex who is standing behind Prue with a knife, already in mid-stab, but he stopped.) "I'm just saying,"
Jenny: "Saying what?"
Me: "That I don't like you. Go awayyy!"
Dan: "Aren't the guests on this thing supposed to be annoying?"
Prue: "Duh—wait…"
Me: "Yes but there is only so much annoying that a person can take."
Barbas: "In other words; you can't fix stupid."
Me: "That'll be the quote of the day."
Prue: "Nicole, Alex is stabbing me again!"
Andy: "He's gotta get it out of his system, besides, you're self-healing now."
Prue: "But you're not!" (She pulls the knife out of her back then runs after Andy. I freeze her.)
Me: "Hmm, forgot I could do that."
(On top of the Golden Gate Bridge. It's windy and Leo is fixing his hair on a mirror up against the beam.)
Piper: "Leo, why the hell is there a mirror up here!"
Leo: (Still fixing his hair.) "Well I'm always up here, and it does get breezy, so I gotta fix my hair and occasionally my make-up.
Paige: "And you thought there was a chance he was straight."
Piper: "Now you're talking. What was up with you back there?"
Chris: "Didn't you hear her when my dad showed up? She said;" (In Paige's voice) "Oh no, my baby's daddy!"
Leo: "What is it that is so damn appealing about him!"
Piper: "He has power; all you have is a mirror."
Paige: "Well it's all happened about a year and a half ago. We met at a singles mixer and…"
Piper: "You idiot! That's my story!"
Paige: Right, well mine's not very interesting. A couple weeks ago I was at Magic School looking for some demon info then some stuff happened. I don't wanna talk about it."
Chris: "Thank you,"
Leo: "Right well, why are we up here?"
Piper: "Because it's the perfect place to view all the damage we're about in inflict."
Paige: "Ooh let's get rid of the bridge first!"
'Let the object of objection become but a dream
as I cause the scene to be unseen.' (The bridge starts to disappear.)
Chris: "Paige, you fruit!" (They all starts falling, but they orb away.)
(They end up back in Freebie-Ville)
Paige: "Why are we back here?"
Piper: "Because you're too stupid to be evil, so we're gonna let Phoebe watch you."
(Gideon runs up to them, out of breath.)
Gideon: "Thank god you're back, they won't leave alone!" (Cole and Phoebe runs up carrying a basket of flowers.)
Piper: "Hey, Thing 1 and Thing 2, stop it!"
Cole: "I like those nick-names." (Phoebe nods.)
Chris: "Why didn't you tell me you slept with Paige?"
Gideon: "Who? Me? I would never do that!"
Chris: "Right, don't lie, Paige even said you did."
Paige: "Well—actually, it might not have been this Gideon."
Phoebe: "What other Gideon is there?"
Chris: "You mean I have another dad to ignore me?"
Paige: "Yea, the evil Gideon, although he would be the good Gideon now, so this Gideon would be evil…That make any sense?" (Cricket chips)
Piper: "Okay, Paige, no more special brownies for you."
Leo: "No, Paige is right about there being two Gideon's, there is actually two of all of us. We just exist on separate planes."
Cole: Thank you Dr. Spock," (Rolls his eyes.)
Piper: "But then wouldn't that mean that this Gideon got Paige pregnant too?"
Gideon: No way, we both don't have to make the same mistake."
Leo: "Wait, you're evil—so wanna go wreak havoc with us?"
Gideon: "Alright," (Everyone except Cole and Phoebe orb out.)
(Cole and Phoebe start doing the Chicken Dance.)
Prue: "I'm confused…I mean more confused than the time I hugged Phoebe."
Me: "Idiot, it's obvious. Paige slept with the other Gideon, not this one."
Prue: "I get that, just is he good or evil?"
Me: "This one was originally good, now he's evil. So that would make the other Gideon good, get it?"
Prue: "Sure, why not."
Dan: "Okay Jenny, you've been here for almost 5 pages. You have to do something to earn your keep."
Jenny: But I already had to give Barbas a foot massage. And his toes are hairy and he has corns!"
Andy: "Now you have to give Prue a foot massage, and her feet are hairy and full of corns!"
Prue: "Watch it, or I'll beat you to death."
Andy: "Yea well at least I won't get killed off by being thrown through a wall!"
Me: "Whoa, easy with insults. Besides I have something Jenny could do." (Evil smile)
(Jenny's hanging from the ceiling, her feet maybe 5 feet from the ground.)
Me: "Okay, everybody have thier bats?" (Everyone nods) "Alright, now beat the human piñata!" (Everyone starts beating her.)
Jenny: "Ow-Wait-Ow- Aren't you- Ow- Supposed to be wearing blindfolds?-Ow!"
Prue: "Ha, we're not four year olds!"
TBC…..
That was weird. Well at least I've updated…so now go review…
Cya!
Nicole!
