Shi Rurouni, No need for an apology. I hope you like this next chapter. It was tough to write.

Azure Rose, I agree. Mint chocolate ice cream. I could use some of that right about now!

Discaimer: I don't own Digimon.

One World Away From Darkness

Chapter 12: T.K.'s Secret

Ken Ichijouji

Exactly one hour later, Ken found himself standing outside T.K.'s apartment. He felt more nervous than he had in a long time. How did events take such a sudden twist? T.K. had never invited him over before unless Davis or one of the others was with him, and he had never spent the night at T.K.'s house either.

What if he changes his mind? He stared at the door for a moment and bit his lip. The only reason he wants me over at his house is so we get that stupid project done. If it wasn't for Mr. Ono, he never would have asked me to come here.

He almost walked away, but a sudden thought stopped him. If he left now, it would give T.K. another excuse to treat him as if he was nothing more than a passing acquaintance. Well, I can't stay out here forever. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, and rang the doorbell.

He waited in fearful silence, convinced T.K. would not open the door, and then his blond friend was standing before him with a smile on his face.

"Hey, Ken. Come on in," T.K. said, holding the door open for him.

Feeling shy, Ken stepped past T.K. into the apartment and glanced around uncertainly.

They headed for T.K.'s bedroom, and Ken dropped his stuff on the floor, feeling even more nervous. He had a nasty feeling that something horrible was going to happen and the night was going to end in disaster.

"Mom won't be home for a couple of hours still so I'll get us something to eat. I'll be back in a minute," T.K. said, smiling and leaving the room.

Ken slowly moved into the centre of the room, taking in his surroundings. The room was small, yet comfortable, and it had a cozy feel to it. It looked comfy, lived in, unlike his room which was always so neet it looked more like a hotel room than a teenage boy's room. The walls were white and covered in posters of T.K.'s favorite bands. The thick carpet was of a burgundy colour along with the drapes on the window. In the left corner of the room was T.K.'s double bed neatly made up in sheets the same colour as the carpet. Across from the bed, against the wall, was T.K.'s desk. It was cluttered with a computer, textbooks, paper, binders, pens, and who knew what else. The doors of T.K.'s closet on the right side of the room stood open revealing clothes hanging up, shoes on the ground, a guitar, several basketballs, books, and many other things. A nightstand by the bed held a lamp, alarm clock, and several framed photographs.

Glancing quickly at the open door, Ken made his way over to the nightstand to study the photos. One was an older photo of T.K., his brother Matt, and his parents. It had obviously been taken before the divorce. Ken smiled sadly. Poor T.K. His life is a lot harder than most people realize. The next one was a more recent picture of T.K. and Matt. They had an arm around each other, Matt's cheek resting against T.K.'s golden head, and both were smiling happily at the camera. Tears filled his eyes. He would have given anything to see himself with Sam in that picture. Despite the years, he still missed his brother deeply, and it brought a sadness to his heart to think of Sam. I wonder if T.K. knows how lucky he is to have such an amazing older brother who cares so much about him. Matt was always there if T.K. needed him, and T.K. was always there for Matt. There were so many things about T.K. that a person could envy, but he had only ever envied T.K. one thing, the brother his friend still had and cherished to this day. Unlike T.K., he would never see his brother in this lifetime again. Wiping at his eyes, Ken gently set the photo back on the nightstand and turned to the last one. This picture had been taken four years ago just after the defeat of MaloMyotismon. Davis, Yolei, T.K., Cody, Kari, and himself had their arms around each other and were smiling brilliantly at the camera. I look so happy. I wonder why T.K. keeps this picture so close at hand. Is it because he really cares about us? If he does then...does that mean he cares about all of us? Once again he found himself brushing tears away. If only there was some way of knowing for sure.

There was the sound of footsteps in the hallway, and Ken quickly put the photo back on the nightstand.

"This should hold us until supper." T.K. dropped a bunch of snacks on the floor and promptly sat down, stretching out on his stomache.

He sat down in front of T.K. and nodded without looking at his friend.

"Where were you after school anyway? I was looking all over for you, but even Davis said he hadn't seen you," T.K. asked, sounding curious.

Ken stared at T.K.'s smiling face and could not help feeling just a little bit guilty. "I was just...finishing up some school work outside," he said quietly, hating himself for lying. To his relief, T.K. seemed to accept that explination.

"Did you get those textbook questions done?" T.K. asked, pulling out his biology homework.

Ken shook his head and looked away self consciously unable to respond. He had no idea what to say to T.K.. When he was with Davis, he could spend hours talking about anything that came to mind. He never had to be afraid that Davis would laugh at him no matter what personal revelations he made. The same could not be said for T.K. Whenever he was with his blond friend, his mind became a complete blank. T.K. probably thought he was the most boring person in the world. There just was not the same comfortable feeling between them, and he was sure it was his own fault. He could not bring himself to speak for fear that T.K. would make fun of him. Sudden tears filled his eyes. There was so much he wanted to tell T.K., including what was happening to him, but it did not look as if he would ever get the chance.

"Great! We can do them together before we start our project." T.K. looked up at him, a ready smile on his face, but as their eyes locked, it instantly faded.

Feeling his face heat up, Ken quickly turned away convinced T.K. had seen his tears.

Sure enough. After a moment of silence T.K. said, "Ken...are you alright?" The blond's voice was soft and he sounded concerned.

Ken looked up in surprise to find T.K.'s cloudy blue eyes fixed on his face.

"I'm fine. It's nothing," he replied, trying to put a smile on his own face.

There was a moment of awkward silence, but to his astonishment, T.K. dropped the subject. Why? Is it because he doesn't care or does the thought of a personal conversation with me frighten him?

"Can you believe Mr. Ono?" T.K. laughed, running a hand through his silky gold hair. "What was he thinking putting Davis with Kari? I'm surprised the rest of the class didn't rat Davis out because of the frog thing."

Ken found himself smiling slightly at that. "No. Their hatred for Ono far surpasses their anger at Davis."

"Yeah, you're probably right," T.K. laughed.

A sudden thought came to him, and he felt his heart fill with sadness. "I guess you're pretty disappointed you didn't end up with Kari," he said softly, unable to directly meet T.K.'s eyes.

T.K. shrugged and turned his azure gaze down to his notebook. "That's okay. It turned out great for me anyway. I got you."

Ken blinked at him in surprise. Does he really mean that or is it only pity? "You don't have to make me feel better," he snapped, feeling hurt.

T.K. stared at him and silence fell again. He turned away, convinced T.K. would finally show his true colours and closed his eyes. It did not help much. He could still feel the tears building up in behind his closed lids.

He felt a sudden touch on his arm and jumped. He turned sharply to discover that T.K. had moved over to sit close beside him, the blond's hand resting just below his shoulder. He went rigid and stared into his friends misty blue gaze. T.K. had the most expressive eyes of anyone he had ever met when the blond was not trying to hide his feelings. They seemed to change colour with his emotions. When T.K. was happy or excited, they turned a sparkling ocean blue. They were serene sky blue when T.K. was content, dark midnight blue when he was angry, and cloudy blue when he was distressed or worried. At the current moment, they were a greyish smoky blue.

"Ken...I know you keep saying that everything's okay...but..." T.K. hesitated, looking uncertain.

Ken did not answer. Instead he turned away from T.K., but this time T.K. would not drop the subject.

"Ken, why would you say something like that?" T.K. asked, his voice quiet.

He blushed and jerked his arm away from T.K.'s touch. "It's nothing, forget it," he mumbled.

T.K. dropped his hand and stared at the ground in silence.

"T.K., I..." He broke off, unsure of what to say to make things better. He was starting to feel really bad. T.K. was actually making an effort to be nice to him, and he was throwing it back in his friend's face.

"Kari's right," T.K. said softly, leaning close and peering into his eyes. "You don't look like you've been sleeping."

Ken shrank back from him, feeling uncomfortable at how close to one another they were suddenly sitting. It was not that being near T.K. made him uneasy, quite the opposite actually. The problem was his mind. It was swarming with crazy ideas that if he let T.K. get too close the other boy would be able to read all of his secrets just from a simple touch on the arm.

Apparently T.K. sensed his uneasiness because the blond gave him a searching look and his friend's expression was carefully gaurded at the way he had reacted to him.

T.K. finally broke what was becoming a familar silence between them. "I think I hear Mom now. Come on."

Ken nodded and followed him into the kitchen feeling downhearted.

"Hi, Mom. How was work?" T.K. asked, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Nancy Takaishi smiled at her son with obvious affection. "It was okay. How was school?"

T.K. shrugged. "Same a usual."

Nancy smiled and turned to see him hovering in the doorway. "Hello, Ken. T.K. phoned me to tell me that you were coming. I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

"I'm okay." He smiled shyly and finally stepped into the room.

"I hardly ever see you over here. You should come more often," she said warmly as she set a plate of food on the table and motioned for him to take a seat.

Ken blushed with embarrassment and slipped into the seat next to T.K. after a brief hesitation.

T.K. glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but his friend's gaze was impossible to read. Ken sank lower in his chair. I don't think I want to know what's on his mind. He's probably thinking about what a loser I am.

Through most of supper, he sat in silence listening to T.K. and his mom chat about the day's events. Every so often T.K. would look in his direction, and Ken found himself growing more and more uncomfortable.

"Well don't stay up too late tonight," Nancy said with a smile as she began to clear the plates off the table.

T.K. laughed. "We won't. Come on, Ken. We better hurry up and get started."

They headed back to T.K.'s room and sat down on the floor again with their books.

"I was thinking we could do our project on lung cancer," T.K. chattered as they made themselves comfortable.

"Uh...um..." Truthfully, he had not really been listening. The only thought running through his head now was how he was going to survive the night without revealing his secrets to T.K.

T.K. glanced up from the textbook in his hands and gave him a long look. "Ken...you've been pretty quiet all evening. Is there something on your mind?"

I knew it! He knows I'm hiding something! "Um...no...not really." His face went red again, and he quickly ducked his head.

"I wondered if you wanted to do our project on lung cancer," T.K. said quietly.

"Sure, sounds great," he replied, managing a weak smile.

Over the next several hours they were able to finish their biology homework, and they were able to plan an entire outline for their project with T.K. doing most of the talking. At a quarter to midnight, T.K. let out a loud yawn and stood up. "I guess we had better get to bed. We've got a good start on our project. I'm sure we'll get it done in no time."

Ken nodded in agreement and got to his feet. Working with T.K. was turning out to be really easy. Things never went this smoothly when he was working with Davis, due mostly to the fact that he did all the work while Davis sat around doing nothing but complaining.

"We make a great team, don't you think?" T.K. asked, his blue eyes sparkling.

Ken blushed and shrugged. "I guess," he mumbled, staring at the floor.

T.K. put a hand to his mouth, covering another yawn and Ken had to smile. His friend's eyelids kept drooping and the blond looked ready to fall asleep.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom, and I'll be back in a minute," T.K. said, turning towards the door.

He nodded again and stared after T.K. as the blond left the room. "Now what?" He stared nervously around the room, feeling uneasy, and spotted T.K.'s backpack sitting on the floor next to the bed. He froze and stared at it as if it had suddenly come to life. A sudden memory from several days ago came back to him. One day they had found T.K. lying under a tree with a book in his hands. When they had called out to T.K., the blond had started to act really strange and shoved the book out of sight. What had he been trying to hide?

He shot a quick look at the door and bit his lip. Should I go for it? If T.K. found him snooping, he had a feeling that his friend would not be too happy with him. That might be true, but I have to risk it. Something's telling me that this could be important. Feeling guilty, he dropped to his knees beside T.K.'s backpack. He sent a quick anxious glance towards the door and began to root through it's contents. It has to be in here somewhere, unless he took it out. Lets see, math textbook, binder, apartment key, calculator, Digivice, wallet, D-Terminal, cellphone...come on! How much stuff does he carry around! Oh wait! Here it is!

He pulled out the familar red covered book and stared at it in shock. It was about dream interpretation. Why would T.K. be carrying this around?

Ken felt his blood freeze. Is T.K. having dreams like me? Or has T.K. somehow discovered that I've been having strange nightmares? He dropped the book as if it was on fire and heard T.K.'s footsteps returning. Quickly he threw everything back in the blond's bag and staggered to the edge of the bed where he collapsed.

"Ken?"

He turned to see T.K. staring at him his eyes wide with fear. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

He knows. Now he'll never be my friend...

He closed his eyes and felt T.K. sit down next to him on the bed.

"What happened?" T.K. asked, his voice quiet and filled with confusion.

Great. How am I going to talk my way out of this one?

"Ken?"

He finally looked up and stared into the bright sapphire pools of T.K.'s eyes. His friend's gaze had grown cloudy with anxiety, and he looked upset.

His eyes swept over T.K.'s face silently searching for any sign of knowledge behind those blue depths. There was nothing. His friend did not seem to have a clue what was going on.

"What is it?" T.K. asked, an uneasy expression now covering the blond's face.

Ken realized he was staring and quickly looked away his cheeks turning red.

"Ken! Talk to me! What-"

"I'm fine!" The words came out sharper than he had intended, and he flinched. "Look, lets just go to bed," he said quietly. He quickly moved away from T.K. and stood up trying not to let his friend see that he was shaking.

T.K. fell silent and just stared at him. Finally the blond stood up and pulled off his shirt.

Ken dropped his bag on T.K.'s bed and began searching through it for his night clothes while T.K. brushed past him and headed towards the dresser. Ken paused to glance over his shoulder and gazed at his friend who was searching through one of the drawers for a clean shirt. T.K. had his back towards him and the soft light from the lamp on the nightstand showed off the golden tan on his friend's bare back and arms. That was just another one of the many differences between them. His skin was a pale milky white and tended to burn if he stayed out in the sun too long. T.K., on the other hand, never burned. His friend always came out of the sun with a golden tan that showed off his good looks, and it made the colour of the blond's hair and eyes stand out like a neon sign. It was just one of the many things about T.K. that annoyed Davis to no end.

Feeling miserable, he pulled off his shirt and pants once again wishing he was anywhere but at T.K.'s house. The silence between them was suffocating.

T.K. finally found what he was looking for and silently pulled off his clothes. Several times his friend looked like he was about to say something but chose to remain quiet. Looking distressed, T.K. pulled on a pair of light blue sleep pants and a plain white t-shirt. Ken looked away from T.K., feeling a sudden urge to cry, and he pulled on his own grey sleep pants and blue shirt.

"Which side?" T.K. finally asked, nodding his head towards the bed. The blond's voice was neutral and his face blank.

Ken stared at him in shock, and his mouth fell open. He went red in the face as T.K. raised a questioning eyebrow, and he stared at his hands.

"It's your bed, you choose," he managed to stammer.

T.K. nodded and climed into the bed moving towards the left side and leaving the right side free for him.

He hesitated and slowly climed in beside his friend. He quickly pulled the blankets up to his chin and closed his eyes, fighting back tears. He hates me. That's why he's acting like this. He knows I'm being stalked by the darkness and he's mad at me for not admittimg it.

"Do you mind turning out the light?" T.K. asked, his voice calm.

Ken stared at T.K., who had his back turned towards him, and bit his lip to keep a sob from escaping his mouth. "Sure," he whispered. He reached for the lamp switch and let his hand fall back to his side unable to stand the horrible rift between them.

"T.K...um...," He trailed off and felt the first few tears spill over his eyelashes. "Goodnight," he whispered, hating himself for chickening out.

There was a pause, and then T.K.'s soft voice broke the silence. "Goodnight, Ken," his frined said quietly.

Feeling a little bit better, he flicked off the light bathing the entire room in darkness. A sliver of pale moonlight streamed through a gap in the curtain and fell across the bed. A light breeze came through the open pane ruffling the curtains and cooling his skin. He closed his eyes, but sleep seemed to elude him, partly because he was ever conscious of the blond sleeping beside him. At Davis's house, he always slept on the floor. He could not believe that T.K. had not suggested it as well. In a way, he was not surprised. T.K. had never been one to care about things like that. His friend was not the type of person to get uncomfortable in the type of situation that they were currently in. Surprisingly enough he felt comforted by T.K.'s presence close beside him. It reminded him of how Sam used to let him sleep in his bed when he had had nightmares. For the first time in days, he felt truly safe from the darkness.

He jumped as T.K. suddenly rolled over to face him and mumbled something. Despite the silence, he had no clue what T.K. had said, but he could tell that his friend was fast asleep.

He sighed with envy. I wish I could fall asleep that fast. Growing restless, he turned on his side to study T.K.'s face. The light of the moon cast a faint blue glow over his friend's body, and it made T.K.'s skin glow with pale light. It was kind of weird. T.K. looked white and ghostly, almost transparent. His friend looked like he was dead. Ken shivered and moved closer to T.K. taking comfort from the warmth of the blond's skin. His friend felt warm and solid, alive. He sighed with relief. I have to stop letting my imagination get out of control.

He jumped as a small sound of distress suddenly escaped T.K.'s lips. The blond twisted onto his stomache and buried his face in the pillow.

"T.K.?" He reached out and touched T.K.'s shoulder. There was no response. After a moment, he shrugged. Finally he settled back against the pillows and let his eyes fall closed. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.