Chapter 10- World Domee-nation!

Me: "You know, I think this story has lost its vision."

Prue: "Vision? What vision!"

Andy: "You mean the point?"

Me: "Yea, I mean when I started this thing I had a good idea about the plot, now…nothin. It's just mindless ranting and bad co-hosts."

Dan: "Well excuse us for being born."

Me: "Sorry, some things are just inexcusable." (Long pause)

Jenny: (She's tied up in the corner like the bit- I mean, dog she is.) "What's you're point?"

Me: "Cram it! Did I say you could talk!" (I throw a microphone at her and it knocks her out.) "The point is I'd like to apologize to everyone for drifting off, that's why…" (Pause for dramatic effect.) "There is only going to be one more chapter after this." (I start crying)

All: "YES!" (I stare at them.)

Prue: "I-I mean, damn that sucks."

Barbas: "WHY!" (He starts to fake sob.)

Me: "You guys are horrible actors, ya know that?" (They all nod.) "Well what do you think Alex?"

(He's over at the buffet table, injecting poison into Prue's sandwich.)

Alex: (Jumps and hides the poison.) "Huh, oh well it's very sad. Nobody likes to see stories go." (Shakes his head and mumbles something then goes back to his task.)

Andy: "So much Shannen, so little time." (We all look at him and he's reading a magizine.)

Prue: "Andy what the fudge are you doing!" (He's doing…something.)

Andy: "N-nothing!"

Prue: "Don't lie! That's that Playboy that Shannen Doherty did the spread for, isn't it!"

Dan: "That's mine!"

Me: (Mumbling as all the guys gather around Andy.) "Guys are freaks,"

The world was still is its opposite self. Leo had gone to see the Elders, to kill them of course, but they oddly turned into a bunch of drunken frat guys, even the women. So he just left them to have their toga party.

"Toga, toga…" Leo was chanting when he orbed back to the Manor.

Piper: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Leo: "Nevermind, so what are you doing?"

Piper: "Well, I'm trying to think of something really evil to do."

Leo: "You can hire the right guys, get the right weapons, but it helps to have a plan first." (She nods) (He turns to Chris who is flipping channels on the TV.) "And what are you doing?"

Chris: "I'm trying to find the news." (He stops on a channel.)

TV: "You're watching Lifetime, television for idiots."

Chris: (Turning it off.) "Oh no I'm not."

(Gideon and the now huge Paige walk in. Magical pregnancy is a bitch.)

Paige: "Yo ho hello,"

Piper: "Did you just call me a ho?" (She slaps Paige.)

Paige: "HEY! I'm pregnant, could you please suppress your rage until the baby comes? Or take it out on Leo." (Piper slaps Leo.) "Better,"

Gideon: "So Paige, you never did explain how you really met the other Gideon." (Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Paige.)

Paige: (Lowers her eyes at Gideon.) "Gee thanks for reminding me. Fine, well a few weeks ago…" (Suddenly Cole and Phoebe flower in.) (ooh, perfect timing.)

Phoebe: (Scared) "Guys, Cole's pregnant!" (Leo shrieks in a girlish tone a conveniently faints on the couch.)

Paige: "Crazy hippie bitch say wha?"

Piper: "How is that even possibl- I know how that's possib- wait, no I don't. How is that even possible!"

Cole: "Well, last night Phoebe and I got a little frisky and…"

Chris: "Not that dumbass! How is it that Cole's pregnant and not you?"

Phoebe: "Oh that! Funny story, well not really. Long story short, we kinda pissed off a Sorceress."

Paige: "You did, did ya? Well that's not really our problem, cuz if you remember correctly, you're good, and we're bad." (She looks and points to Leo.) "Okay, maybe not him, but he's passed out. So go away before we kill you."

Piper: "Gawd Paige show a little compassion here. I mean Phoebe just knocked a guy up." (She starts cracking up.)

Gideon: "That's actually not as funny as you would think. There is a prophecy, If a demon named Cole and a Charmed One named Phoebe ever have a child it will bring forth the end of the world."

Chris: "Wow, doesn't get more specific than that, does it?"

Gideon: "Actually it does, you see…"

Chris: "Dad, that was a rhetorical question."

Piper: (Pouting) "I thought Wyatt was supposed to end the world."

Phoebe: "Speaking of which, where is he?" (They all look around.)

(Cut to P3…)

(Wyatt's dancing with a bunch of strippers to Eminem's song; Ass Like That with a bottle of fermented apple juice in his bottle.)

(Cut back to the Manor…)

Leo: (He wakes up.) "What's with the pausing?"

Cole: "Oh we were waiting while the story cut to Wyatt."

Leo: "Ah, wait…you're pregnant?"

Paige: (Before Cole can answer.) "Yea, and so am I if anybody else forgot!"

Piper: "We didn't forget, this is just more interesting. And before we continue the conversation is there anyone else here who would like to announce they're pregnant?" (Kit randomly walks past.)

Leo: "This actually reminds me of a movie I saw. It was a Buffy movie called; 'My Baby's Daddy' or somethin like that. To sum it up Spike was pregnant."

Chris: "Wasn't that a story first?"

Leo: "Yea but I'm too lazy to read the story."

Gideon: "So I take it that you don't read Playboy for the articles then?"

Leo: "What's Playboy?"

Chris: "Dad he's gay, and so and am I but you would've known that if you actually stopped and found some time to talk with me huh!"

Gideon: "Get over yourself, I never wanted you, it was your mother's twisted idea to poke a hole in the condom." (Chris throws up.)

Cole: "Ok I can see that you people have some major evil issues to deal with, sooo, let's do lunch, or something." (He and Phoebe flower out.)

Leo: "Shouldn't we be worried about the demon spawn that Cole is carrying?"

Paige: "Forget that, did you see Phoebe's hair? What-a-freak!" (This time Gideon slaps her.)

Gideon: "I don't think we should be worried, after all, Cole is technically good now."

Piper: "Good to know, now back to Paige's story then we reek some havoc."

Paige: "Ok, so it was a few weeks ago, I was just coming out of my crossdressers meeting," (Piper looks at her weird.) "so I decide to go to magic school for no apparent reason…."

Piper: "Ah ha! I just had the perfect idea!"

Paige: But what about my story?"

Piper: Save it, everyone follow me." (They all orb out.)

Barbas: "What is with all the effing stalling on Paige's story!"

Me: "I'm just gonna save it till the last chapter."

Prue: "Right well then, you guys done with that Playboy yet?"

Andy: "Yea, w-we realized what we were doing was wrong." (None of the guys are looking at each other.)

Jenny: (She's woken up and chewed threw her leg to get out of the chain.) "What made you come to your senses?"

Dan: "Well we kinda got a little too into the moment, and now we need a shower, big time."

Barbas: "BUT NOT TOGETHER!"

Andy: "Gawd no!"

Me: "Oh how the mighty have fallen."

(Cut to the Bay Mirror…Phoebe's office.)

Paige: "How come I had to glamour into Phoebe?" (She looks like Phoebe.)

Piper: Because I didn't want Leo to get any gayer than he already is."

Gideon: (Picks up a piece of paper.) "So tell me again how this article is evil."

Leo: "Doy, once word that Holly Marie Combs is dead gets out people will riot in the streets in pure shock."

Paige: "B-but she's not dead is she?"

Piper: "Thankfully not,"

Chris: "So this is the huge evil you were talking about huh? Well my god Piper, no wonder Leo's gay, this is ridiculous!"

Paige: "What does that have to do with Leo?"

Chris: "Nothing, I just like to rub it in that Leo's not with her anymore." (He laughs)

Piper: "I swear, if we weren't sharing a liver I'd saw us apart right now."

Chris: "Talk, talk…"

Paige: Hey, could you stop fighting for one freakin minute! I have to get into character." (She takes a deep breath then takes the paper and walks out to find Elise. She hitches up her skirt and walks all slutty.)

Leo: "Now we just sit and wait." (They all laugh evilly.)

(The next day…)

Piper turns on the news.

Reporter: "10 people are dead a riot that started when news surfaced that Holly Marie Combs is dead." (Someone walks up, crying, then stabs the reporter.)

(She changes the channel)

Reporter: "A hostage situation is in progress at the California Motel. The criminal took the 24 year old waitress hostage after learning that TV goddess Holly Marie Combs is dead, more at 11."

(Changes it again, but its some foreign channel. Spanish or something.)

Reporter: "…Holly Marie Combs," (The screen flashes with the image of people shooting each other, starting fires, pretty sick shit.) (Piper flips off the TV and grins happily.)

Piper: "See, told ya."

Chris: "I still think it was stupid. I mean we could do anything, but no, you choose to print false articles. If I wanted to do something that stupid I would make a crank call to the White House!"

Paige: "You're just jealous you didn't think about it first." (She's eating a tomato- mustard-fudge sauce-fish-peanut butter- mushroom sandwich on heart healthy wheat bread.) (Everyone looks sick.) "What? I'm craving it."

Piper: "Aren't you allergic to mushrooms?" (She's already taken a huge bite and swallowed.)

Paige: "Oh crap," (She falls over,)

Piper: "You can't die, you're pregnant, pregnant people never die!"

Paige: "I was never really pregnant." (She's on the verge of dying.)

Gideon: "Leo heal her!"

Leo: "We can't heal anymore, we're evil."

Paige: "The treasure is buried at…" (She dies very dramatically.)

Leo: (He falls down and reaches out to nothing in particular.) "Conner…"

Me: "Whoops,"

Chris: "Who's Conner? Someone I should know about?"

Leo: "He's just a guy."

Conner: "Just a guy?" (Everyone turns and looks at Conner.) "Hello Grandpa,"

(Gasps)

Conner: "Hello grandma,"

Piper: "Grandma!"

Gideon: "Grandpa?"

Chris: "Wow, he's hot, I-I mean, grandma, grandpa?"

Leo: "Hello Conner,"

Piper: "Who the hell are you! Leo, who the hell is he!"

Conner: "I am from the distant future, I shouldn't say anymore because of the risks."

Leo: "It's okay, everything's ending soon."

Conner: "Alright, My name is Conner Halliwell, my father was Angel Halliwell…"

Gideon: "Who the hell would name their son Angel!"

Leo: "I would,"

Piper: "Leo, is there something you're not telling me?"

Chris: "Yea Leo, is there?"

Leo: "Piper, Angel is our son, I went to the future and found out we had a son 3 years after Wyatt was born, we named him Angel, because again we stupidly though we were going to have a girl. I also found out that Angel had a son, Conner."

Piper: "You're kidding right? That would mean…"

Chris: "That would mean that you two got back together." (He starts tearing up.)

Gideon: "Wow get a video camera in here and we've got a soap opera."

Leo: "What are you doing here Conner?"

Conner: "In history class we were studying the Holly Marie Combs riot of 2005, AKA World War III…"

Piper: "So?"

Conner: "That actually has nothing to do with anything, I heard that in 2005 was the last year before they stopped using beef and switched to penguin. I thought I'd come see what a cow looks like, seeing that they're extinct in my time."

Gideon: "That's it? You wanted to see a cow? Why didn't you just conjure one up?"

Conner: "And miss this? I don't think so."

Leo: "Miss what?"

Conner: "Wait for it…3…2…1…" (Cole and Phoebe flower back in.)

Both: "Prue's back! In coming!" (Prue shimmers in.)

All: "NOOOOO!"

Prue: "I'm baacckkk!" (Evil kackle.)

Prue: "How is it that I'm in the story and here?"

Me: "That's your astral self. Don't think to much on it, you'll get wrinkles."

Barbas: "You managed to screw up so much of that story." (I blow off his arm.)

Me: "I'm trying to make it end with a bang."

Andy: "Couldn't you have made it end with a bang in the final chapter?"

Me: "You mean like on Friends when they put Ross and Rachel back together and Chandler and Monica got the twins leaving the biggest cliffhanger ever!" (He nods.) "No freakin way, that way the cruelest way to end a show, and now we're stuck with Joey!"

Jenny: "That show sucks,"

Dan: "No it doesn't!" (I kick him in the shins.)

TBC…..

Forgive me! That was weird I know, but I'm weird—er right now.

Cya!

Nicole!