Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or M*A*S*H. I certainly am not making
any money by writing this story.
Author's note: This story ignores the relationship between Seven and Chakotay in the last episode of Voyager. Also, I began writing this before Homecoming and its sequel were published.
---------
The members of the Voyager Senior staff who aren't on the away mission are gathered in the astrometrics lab along with Mr. Harren. They are discussing the mysterious energy formation.
"We've run every diagnostic that we could think of. The astrometrics lab is in more than perfect working order," Harry explains.
"We couldn't have just fallen through a funnel. I mean it just doesn't make any sense," B'Elanna states.
"May I present a theory, since I am the theorist here, that we were deliberately sent back in time," Harren points out.
Q picks this moment to appear in the background without his usual flash of bright white light. "These pathetic bunch of humans," he thinks, " It's taken them this long to figure that out."
"Who would do that?" Chakotay asks.
"The Borg have used time travel to attack Earth before," Seven states.
Harry shakes his head, "The Borg wouldn't use something as quaint as a funnel."
They stare at the screen wondering who would do this while Q silently paces in the background.
----------------------
Later that evening Hawkeye and B.J. sit scheming while the Captain questions how good of an idea this is. Charles is nowhere to be seen. Margaret is sitting in her tent crying. Potter is signing an endless supply of paper work that Radar is handing to him. Klinger is scrubbing pots in the kitchen. The Doctor is on duty in post-op trying to figure out how doctors in the twentieth century read their own handwriting. Tom has thought of a plan to make no one believe Klinger, which Tuvok is improving upon it.
Tom makes his way to the kitchen to enact phase one of his plans: Win Klinger's trust. Klinger is peeling potatoes when Tom comes in.
Could I give you a hand," Tom asks.
"You want to help me?"
"Yeah, Anyone with the intelligence to try and escape this place deserves a hand."
"Thanks," he hands Tom an extra potato peeler.
They peel in silence for a while. Tom debates how he should bring up what he really wants to talk about.
"So what were you going to tell Colonel Potter that he wouldn't believe?"
"You wouldn't believe me either. Why do care anyways?"
"Just curious," Tom shrugs, "why don't you try me? I'm very open minded."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Klinger lowers his voice, "There's an alien spacecraft on the other side of that hill."
"That's freaky," Tom prays he picked the right word, "To think they're so close and nobody knows."
"You believe me?"
"Sure, why not?"
They continue to peel in silence, but Klinger is just a tad bit suspicious.
------------------
Margaret doesn't know why she is crying. What Charles had said had brought back too many memories of Donald. Charm and tack were the only things he didn't have. She punches her pillow and then curls up in a fetal position with it. What did Charles know about women anyways, his idea of wooing a woman was to brag about himself.
Charles comes strolling back into camp with a mysterious smile on his face. There were a few extra lumps in his coat. He checks to see if any one is watching and sneaks up to Margaret's tent. He taps lightly on the door.
"Go away!" Margaret says still crying.
"I have a surprise for you."
"Charles, you have to be the most inconvenient person in the world." Sits up and wipes her eyes. "Come in"
Charles looks left, then right, and then opens the door entering quickly.
"I found a copy of Pride and Prejudice and some dried strawberries. Care to share." Charles looks down expecting the usual praise that comes with everything he does, but is met only with tears.
"Charles just go away." She falls over onto her pillow and begins to cry again.
Charles sets down his surprises looking rather uncomfortable. He sits down beside her and places his hand hesitantly on her back.
"Was it something I did?"
Margaret sits up abruptly, "The world does not revolve around you Charles."
"Margaret, what do you want form me?"
"For once for you to care more about me than yourself."
Charles opens his mouth with a rebuttal, but he realizes that for once he is wrong, " Margaret I'm sorry. I just. perhaps it would be better if I didn't say anything all."
"Perhaps it would," she says sliding into Charles's arms.
Charles holds Margaret and let's her cry. A smile of victory slowly creeps onto his face. He puts it away thought, realizing that it isn't victory that he really wants.
-------------------
Meanwhile, Hawkeye and B.J. have completed their plan. There was just one little problem.
B.J. joins Hawkeye in front of the swamp, "Hawkeye, I can't find him anywhere."
"Are you sure you've looked everywhere."
"I even looked into the nurses' tent," Rubbing his head, " they threw a pillow at me."
Hawkeye laughs.
"It's not funny. It hurts. The only place left is Margaret's tent and I'm not looking there."
The wheels in Hawkeye's head begin to turn and a smile creeps onto to his face, "That sly little devil."
"What? No he couldn't have."
"He's beaten' us to the punch."
"Let's call it a night then."
"I just can't believe he would take all our fun away."
" Hawk, why don't you go join Kathryn. You guys can enjoy the surprise we prepared."
"It'll serve him right for double crossing us."
B.J. shakes his head and goes into the swamp.
---------------------
Klinger begins his guard duty. A steady clip clop of his heals can be heard as his mind begins to wander. "That new Tom person claims to believe me but I'm not so sure," Klinger thinks, "Especially after the funny looks he gave me the first time we meant. He doesn't really have any respect for my desire for a section 8. What does he really want from me?" Klinger is called out of his thoughts by footsteps behind him. He swings around with his gun, "Halt who goes there."
Tom holds his hands up in surrender, "It's just us Klinger."
Klinger waves them on and goes back to his pacing of the compound. "Now I've seen it all," he thinks, "A black guy carrying around pie pans in the dark. No wonder I can't guy a discharge. Nothing anyone does around here makes any sense. Speaking of the black hey what's is up with his ears." He quietly speaks to himself, "He has to be from the alien ship. Him and the other three. So that's what he was up to. He wants to make sure I keep quiet."
-----------------
Tuvok and Tom have walked as far away as they can from camp. They are throwing pie pans up in the air and snapping pictures.
"Mr. Paris I'm still not certain how this plan is going to work."
"Tuvok, it's all very simple. We tell Klinger we have proof of the alien ship he saw. We have him develop the pictures and show them to Colonel Potter. He'd have to be blind not to be able to tell these are pie pans. He'll be so mad that anything Klinger says will just get him in more trouble."
"Very well, Lieutenant."
-----------------
Please review! Thank you to those who have reviewed.
Author's note: This story ignores the relationship between Seven and Chakotay in the last episode of Voyager. Also, I began writing this before Homecoming and its sequel were published.
---------
The members of the Voyager Senior staff who aren't on the away mission are gathered in the astrometrics lab along with Mr. Harren. They are discussing the mysterious energy formation.
"We've run every diagnostic that we could think of. The astrometrics lab is in more than perfect working order," Harry explains.
"We couldn't have just fallen through a funnel. I mean it just doesn't make any sense," B'Elanna states.
"May I present a theory, since I am the theorist here, that we were deliberately sent back in time," Harren points out.
Q picks this moment to appear in the background without his usual flash of bright white light. "These pathetic bunch of humans," he thinks, " It's taken them this long to figure that out."
"Who would do that?" Chakotay asks.
"The Borg have used time travel to attack Earth before," Seven states.
Harry shakes his head, "The Borg wouldn't use something as quaint as a funnel."
They stare at the screen wondering who would do this while Q silently paces in the background.
----------------------
Later that evening Hawkeye and B.J. sit scheming while the Captain questions how good of an idea this is. Charles is nowhere to be seen. Margaret is sitting in her tent crying. Potter is signing an endless supply of paper work that Radar is handing to him. Klinger is scrubbing pots in the kitchen. The Doctor is on duty in post-op trying to figure out how doctors in the twentieth century read their own handwriting. Tom has thought of a plan to make no one believe Klinger, which Tuvok is improving upon it.
Tom makes his way to the kitchen to enact phase one of his plans: Win Klinger's trust. Klinger is peeling potatoes when Tom comes in.
Could I give you a hand," Tom asks.
"You want to help me?"
"Yeah, Anyone with the intelligence to try and escape this place deserves a hand."
"Thanks," he hands Tom an extra potato peeler.
They peel in silence for a while. Tom debates how he should bring up what he really wants to talk about.
"So what were you going to tell Colonel Potter that he wouldn't believe?"
"You wouldn't believe me either. Why do care anyways?"
"Just curious," Tom shrugs, "why don't you try me? I'm very open minded."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Klinger lowers his voice, "There's an alien spacecraft on the other side of that hill."
"That's freaky," Tom prays he picked the right word, "To think they're so close and nobody knows."
"You believe me?"
"Sure, why not?"
They continue to peel in silence, but Klinger is just a tad bit suspicious.
------------------
Margaret doesn't know why she is crying. What Charles had said had brought back too many memories of Donald. Charm and tack were the only things he didn't have. She punches her pillow and then curls up in a fetal position with it. What did Charles know about women anyways, his idea of wooing a woman was to brag about himself.
Charles comes strolling back into camp with a mysterious smile on his face. There were a few extra lumps in his coat. He checks to see if any one is watching and sneaks up to Margaret's tent. He taps lightly on the door.
"Go away!" Margaret says still crying.
"I have a surprise for you."
"Charles, you have to be the most inconvenient person in the world." Sits up and wipes her eyes. "Come in"
Charles looks left, then right, and then opens the door entering quickly.
"I found a copy of Pride and Prejudice and some dried strawberries. Care to share." Charles looks down expecting the usual praise that comes with everything he does, but is met only with tears.
"Charles just go away." She falls over onto her pillow and begins to cry again.
Charles sets down his surprises looking rather uncomfortable. He sits down beside her and places his hand hesitantly on her back.
"Was it something I did?"
Margaret sits up abruptly, "The world does not revolve around you Charles."
"Margaret, what do you want form me?"
"For once for you to care more about me than yourself."
Charles opens his mouth with a rebuttal, but he realizes that for once he is wrong, " Margaret I'm sorry. I just. perhaps it would be better if I didn't say anything all."
"Perhaps it would," she says sliding into Charles's arms.
Charles holds Margaret and let's her cry. A smile of victory slowly creeps onto his face. He puts it away thought, realizing that it isn't victory that he really wants.
-------------------
Meanwhile, Hawkeye and B.J. have completed their plan. There was just one little problem.
B.J. joins Hawkeye in front of the swamp, "Hawkeye, I can't find him anywhere."
"Are you sure you've looked everywhere."
"I even looked into the nurses' tent," Rubbing his head, " they threw a pillow at me."
Hawkeye laughs.
"It's not funny. It hurts. The only place left is Margaret's tent and I'm not looking there."
The wheels in Hawkeye's head begin to turn and a smile creeps onto to his face, "That sly little devil."
"What? No he couldn't have."
"He's beaten' us to the punch."
"Let's call it a night then."
"I just can't believe he would take all our fun away."
" Hawk, why don't you go join Kathryn. You guys can enjoy the surprise we prepared."
"It'll serve him right for double crossing us."
B.J. shakes his head and goes into the swamp.
---------------------
Klinger begins his guard duty. A steady clip clop of his heals can be heard as his mind begins to wander. "That new Tom person claims to believe me but I'm not so sure," Klinger thinks, "Especially after the funny looks he gave me the first time we meant. He doesn't really have any respect for my desire for a section 8. What does he really want from me?" Klinger is called out of his thoughts by footsteps behind him. He swings around with his gun, "Halt who goes there."
Tom holds his hands up in surrender, "It's just us Klinger."
Klinger waves them on and goes back to his pacing of the compound. "Now I've seen it all," he thinks, "A black guy carrying around pie pans in the dark. No wonder I can't guy a discharge. Nothing anyone does around here makes any sense. Speaking of the black hey what's is up with his ears." He quietly speaks to himself, "He has to be from the alien ship. Him and the other three. So that's what he was up to. He wants to make sure I keep quiet."
-----------------
Tuvok and Tom have walked as far away as they can from camp. They are throwing pie pans up in the air and snapping pictures.
"Mr. Paris I'm still not certain how this plan is going to work."
"Tuvok, it's all very simple. We tell Klinger we have proof of the alien ship he saw. We have him develop the pictures and show them to Colonel Potter. He'd have to be blind not to be able to tell these are pie pans. He'll be so mad that anything Klinger says will just get him in more trouble."
"Very well, Lieutenant."
-----------------
Please review! Thank you to those who have reviewed.