Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. This story is just for fun.
A/N: Most likely this story will contain a total of twenty chapters. Six left to go!
One World Away From Darkness
Chapter 14: Never Alone
T.K. Takaishi
T.K. watched Ken's face turn a deathly shade of white and the former Emperor's eyes widened into two deep, dark, pools of fear. His friend let out a strangled cry and tried desperately to break free, but he pinned Ken's shoulders to the floor and held the other boy firmly in place.
He was not exactly sure what was going on, but something had happened in his room that night, and he was not going to give up until he found out what it had been. The second he had opened his eyes, he had known that his crest had reacted to something. He could still feel it's power flowing through his veins and the warmth of it's light tingling through his skin. His close proximity to Ken allowed him to feel it in the other boy as well. Ken's skin was unusually warm, and the hair on his friend's arms was standing straight up as if a current of electricity was flowing inside the former Emperor. Crests did not start reacting without a very good reason, but despite the crest, he could still feel the taint of darkness in his own bedroom, and it made his blood run cold.
"Ken," he murmured softly, gazing sadly at his friend. "What is happening to you?"
Ken squeezed his eyes shut and went limp against the floor. It was as if the fight had been knocked out of his friend, and it had left Ken weak and defeated.
He could feel Ken's heart pounding rapidly against his chest, and he could feel the rise and fall of Ken's upper body as the other boy gasped for breath.
"Ken?" T.K. whispered, his heart filling with fear for his friend.
"Get off!" Ken shouted, his voice coming out as half a sob. "You're heavy."
T.K. sighed. That, at least, was probably true. He had to be a good fifteen or twenty pounds heavier than the other boy. Ken had always been rather slim.
"Will you promise not to go screaming from my apartment like a madman if I do?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to keep his tone light. What he really felt like doing was screaming.
Ken blushed a bright red and did not reply. If anything, his friend looked even more frightened.
As much as he dreaded to confront Ken, he knew he did not have a choice anymore. To much was happening to them to just let it go unnoticed. Does Ken really think that I'm so blind that I can't see him suffering? His friend's pain had been visible to him all evening, and it had caused him to worry all night. Everyday Ken had been getting worse, and he could not stand seeing his friend hurting anymore. Maybe if he was able to understand Ken's suffering, he would finally be able to understand his own. He had tried so hard to deny that Ken's problems had anything to do with him, but it was way to much of a coincidence that Ken had started acting strange around the same time that he had begun to have nightmares. He could not deny it any longer. Somehow Ken's problems were connected to his, and he needed to understand how before it all drove him crazy. If I do this, then Ken's going to find out how much I care about him, and somehow I don't think that's what he wants. He's already afraid of me. Telling him now could send him over the edge, and he'll probably hate me forever. He already avoids me like the plague. If he cared about me at all, he wouldn't act like that.
T.K. closed his eyes against the pain those thoughts stirred up inside of him, and he felt his eyes start to sting with tears. It was a risk he had to be willing to take. He had promised Angemon and himself that he would help Ken no matter what. Sometimes keeping promises meant making huge sacrifices. Ken might hate him forever for sticking his nose in where it did not belong, but at least he could be sure that he had done everything he could to help his friend.
Slowly he climed off of Ken and sat down across from the former Emperor. Ken made one more effort to escape, but he grabbed his friend's wrists and hung on tight. The fear in Ken's eyes was like a thousand needles stabbing into his soul. Fear of me. How did it all come to this? My own friend is terrified of me, and I have no idea why. He had always been aware of Ken's uneasiness around him, but he had never really thought about it before until now. The realization of what it meant left him completely shocked.
"Ken, will you quit trying to run away from me. It doesn't help a person's self-esteem, you know," he said in an attempt to make a joke. Please, Ken, don't do this. You know I would never do anything to hurt you...
Ken did not seem to have heard him. The former Emperor stared up at the ceiling and silent tears continued to slide down his friend's cheeks.
"Ken, what happened in here tonight?" he whispered.
Ken just shook his head and let out a soft sob.
T.K.'s heart went out to the other boy. What would have caused Ken to slip back again when he had been doing so well in healing from the sadness that had trapped him for so long. "Ken," he said quietly, reaching out to place a hand on his friend's arm. "You've been acting really strange for a while now, and I know you haven't been sleeping. I can tell just by looking at you. You've been really upset and I don't mean just today. I know it has something to do with what went on here tonight. Please, Ken? You know you can tell me anything."
Ken froze and stared at him. The former Emperor's face was pale white, and his eyes haunted.
Why should one person be allowed to suffer so much? "Please," he whispered.
Ken let out a sudden bitter laugh that bordered on the edge of hysteria. "Since when have I ever been able to tell you anything?" his friend said coldly, but the affect was ruined by the pain that lay just beneath the surface of his icy words.
T.K. gaped at him. Is this how Ken sees me? Does he really think that he can't trust me? I've always known that Ken has never felt the same kind of friendship for me that he feels for Davis and the others, but I never realized that he had come to dislike me so much. Why?
Reaching out, he gently placed his hands on Ken's shoulders, took a deep breath, and stared deeply into his friend's eyes. "Ken," he said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. "You've always been able to tell me anything."
"R-really?" Ken whispered, his violet eyes filling with shock.
T.K. realized what he had said and hastily looked away. Well, here it comes. Ken's going to totally freak out.
But instead of freaking out, Ken merely stared at him in stunned silence.
"Of course," he said softly, feeling a sudden spark of hope. "In fact, I wish you would, otherwise I can't help you."
"You...you want to help me?" The words were so soft that T.K. just barely heard them, but he did and the emotion in those words left him speechless. Ken sounded as if he desperately wanted to believe, but was afraid to.
Reaching out, he took Ken's crest in his hand and gently ran his fingers over it's shiny purple surface. "Tell me," he whispered softly, not daring to look away for fear that Ken would lose the nerve to say anything if he did.
Ken jumped in shock at his action, but the chain that held the crest around his neck stopped the former Emperor from pulling away. Instead, Ken blushed a bright red and stared at the floor. "You wouldn't believe me anyway," he mumbled, his voice trembling.
T.K. smiled at him. "Of course I would believe you," he said gently. "I never doubt my friends."
Ken's eyes filled with tears again, and T.K. watched them slide slowly down his friend's cheeks. "Then I was right to begin with," the former Emperor whispered.
T.K. frowned. What is that suppose to mean? He stood up, grabbed a box of tissues off his desk, and once more sat down across from Ken. "Here," he said softly, pressing a couple into his friend's hand. "Ken, you have to tell me what's going on," he murmured. "I saw you holding onto my crest, and I'm not going to rest until I have my answers."
"No," Ken whispered, shaking his head. "You'll just think I'm a total freak. I'm even starting to wonder if I am." Ken bowed his head, his silent tears dripping onto the carpet.
T.K. stared at him in stunned silence. Does Ken really have such a low opinion of himself? He gently placed his hand on Ken's shoulder again. "You will never be a freak to me," he whispered.
Ken Ichijouji
Ken was so shocked by T.K.'s words that he could do nothing but sit there in stunned silence. Does T.K. really see me as a friend? Does he really want to help me, or is it all just an act? He gazed at T.K. who's expression appeared sincere. He really doesn't think I'm a freak? His own words from earlier made him blush with embarrassment. Of course he doesn't. That's because he believes I'm a nutcase!
"Ken," T.K. whispered, interrupting his thoughts. "I know something's wrong. You have to tell me. Nothing you say is ever going to change how I feel about you."
A nasty shiver raced down his spine. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
T.K. must have sensed his distress because the blond gave him a reassuring smile.
He blushed and quickly looked away. Can I really trust T.K.? He's being so nice to me that it's hard to imagine that anything I have to say would make him hate me. There was really no other option. Now that T.K. was aware of the darkness, there was no doubt that his friend would discover what was really happening eventually, even without him saying anything. It was only a matter of time.
Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. He just hoped that he would not live to regret it. He told T.K everything, leaving out only the part about the shadows wanting to steal his blond friend as a part of some deal from hell. When he was finished, he closed his eyes, feeling shame at the river of tears sliding over his cheeks, and held his breath. Well, what's done is done. I can't take back what I said now, and I can't turn back time. I can't believe I'm crying like a baby. T.K. probably thinks I'm weak. He's going to hate me, I just know it. The darkness is going to drive him away forever. He's never going to want to come near me again. I'm tainted, and I disgust him...
"It can't be," T.K. whispered, his voice filled with horror.
I was right. He despises me. Ken slowly looked up, his heart aching with terrible sadness, and realized with some surprise that T.K. was not even looking at him. His friend was staring at the ceiling lost in some nightmare that only he could see.
Ken blinked in confusion and frowned. "T.K.?" he said hesitantly. "What's going on?" Why isn't he staring at me with fear and hatred?
T.K. slowly looked up at him, and he gasped as his friend's hands closed around his upper arms. The blond did not seem to be at all aware of the fact that the darkness still raged within him. Isn't he afraid that I might corrupt him?
"Ken," T.K. whispered, looking terrified. "Do you realize what's going on?"
T.K. did not look terrified of him, his friend looked terrified for him. That's impossible. I must be seeing things. Oh, T.K., you're so good and pure. You shouldn't touch me. You shouldn't even be near me. I might taint you with the darkness that's running through my veins, and I would never forgive myself if I did. Stay away from me before I hurt you... "What do you mean?" he whispered, feeling confused.
"I've seen them before," T.K. murmured, staring fearfully into his eyes. "Those shadows that keep coming after you once posed as a bunch of Scubamon, though to my knowledge there's never been a real digimon with that name in the Digital World. They...they come from the Dark Ocean."
Ken's heart stopped. Horrible memories of that place came rushing back and the blood in his veins turned to ice. No! Anything but that! Never again! Please never again... "What are you saying?" he whispered. "How could you possibly know something like that?"
T.K.'s hand moved to his wrist, and the blond held on tight. "You know the Dark Ocean once haunted Kari," T.K. said softly. "You were with her the second time it pulled her in, but I was with her the first time. Those black shadows had been hunting her, following her wherever she went until they were finally able to pull her into the world of the Dark Ocean. Once there, they looked like digimon, but I know that's not what they really were. You said it yourself, Ken. It's a world where a person's dark thoughts come to life. I believe those shadows are a physical representation of the darkness that is stored within a person's heart. I think they took on the form of digimon because that was something that Kari was familiar with and they used that to lure her in. Isn't it also where the Control Spires came from, or at least the idea of them. They're just another representation of darkness. Despite all that, I'm sure the Dark Ocean is connected in some way to the Digital World. How else would you have been able to send Daemon there with your Digivice?" T.K. gazed at him and smiled sadly. "Ken, it's the Dark Ocean that's haunting you."
"It can't be," he whispered in horror. "I've been free of that place for years now! Why would it suddenly start to haunt me again after all this time?"
T.K. stared at him for a long moment and reached out to gently touch his cheek. "Only you can answer that, Ken," his friend whispered softly.
Ken blushed at the sudden touch and lowered his eyes, feeling extremely confused. T.K. had never made such a caring gesture towards him before, and his friend had never given him so much attention. It was making his head spin. He had a nasty feeling T.K. already knew why the darkness had come for him again. It's because the darkness never really left me, so why isn't he screaming at me to stay away from him?
"They wanted to take me to their master," he blurted, quickly changing the subject.
A funny expression crossed his friend's face, and the blond gave him a penetrating look. "Did they say who their master was?"
Ken shook his head. "No," he said meekly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
T.K. stared at him and the faint pink blush on his cheeks turned a brilliant red. Why did I say that? I'm so stupid! He must think I'm a total creep!
"Those creatures wanted to make Kari their queen and use her in battle against their master," T.K. said softly. "I remember it like it was yesterday. They kept talking about their 'Undersea Master'. I wonder why they have changed their minds about fighting him? I'm guessing they want you to join them the way they wanted Kari to."
He nodded and felt his eyes fill with tears. "I don't want to go with them," he whispered, hugging himself.
T.K.'s sparkling blue eyes filled with sympathy. "Ken," he murmured softly, taking hold of his arms. "Do you remember that creepy door in your base that was oozing bright purple goo? All of us were wondering what it was. Do you remember what you said to us?"
Ken thought for a moment and put a hand to his mouth in shock. "Darkness," he whispered. "It was a gateway to the World of Darkness." I'd been hearing voices back then too! Well, not at that exact moment, but I had been hearing them inside the base.
"Ken," T.K. said quietly. "The World of Darkness and the Dark Ocean are the same thing. They're the same place, and the only way to stop it from sucking you in is to believe in yourself. You can't hold back. You have to prove that your spirit is greater than the darkness. That's what Kari did and the Dark Ocean has never come for her again. She has learned not to let the darkness affect her, and you must learn that, too, if you want to be free."
Ken felt T.K.'s warm hand close over his own, and he slowly looked up gazing deeply into his friend's eyes.
"The Dark Ocean isn't going to stop bothering you until you learn to confront your fears," T.K. whispered.
"But how do I do that?" he asked, his voice breaking.
T.K. smiled, and reaching into his shirt, the blond pulled out the Crest of Hope. He took it off, and Ken gasped as T.K. placed it in his hand.
"You have to have faith in yourself," T.K. said softly. "You have to be strong, but most of all, you have to have hope. Without hope, how are you going to be able to believe in anything? Why do you think I was able to stop the darkness that was in this room tonight? It's because I believe in myself, and I believe in you."
Ken stared at the crest in his hand, but the image blurred with tears. His fingers closed over it's smooth surface, and he felt T.K.'s fingers close over both his own fingers and the crest. T.K. believes in me...
"You were the one who told me that, Ken," T.K. murmured. "Don't you remember? You told all of us. You said that as long as we believe in ourselves then the darkness can never harm us."
"The kids with the spores," he whispered, as the sudden memory came back to him. "That's what I said to them."
T.K. nodded and smiled. "I think it's time you learned to start taking your own words to heart."
"What's next?" He asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.
"This is what we're going to do," T.K. said, his voice taking on a note of determination. "This whole thing with the Dark Ocean started with the Digital World, so it only makes sense to start at the beginning. I spoke to Yolei today and she's already made plans for all of us to go to the Digiworld tomorrow. She probably sent you an email about it. It's time to confront your fears and stop the Dark Ocean from haunting you once and for all. You said something about them being in the Digiworld the last time we were there. Is that true?"
"Yes, well...I didn't actually see them, but I know they were there."
"So, tonight is not the first time you have seen them recently, is it?" T.K. asked quietly.
Ken felt his face burn and stared at his feet. "No," he mumbled. "I've seen them before."
T.K. nodded, and to Ken's surprise, the blond did not ask him to elaborate. The truth was, there were still some things that he had not told T.K. which included his dreams, the voices, and his real feelings towards his blond friend.
"What am I going to do once I'm there?"
"We're going to wait for the Dark Ocean to come to you, and when it does, we are going to be ready for it," T.K. replied. "Only this time you won't be alone because I'm going to be with you."
It took a moment for T.K.'s words to sink in, and when they did, Ken's mouth fell open in shock. "You will?" he squeaked, his brain going into overdrive.
"Yes, I will," T.K. said softly, his expression leaving no room for doubt.
The tears spilled over Ken's cheeks as he stared at T.K. He wanted to hug his blond friend with pure joy, but he did not dare. T.K. might be willing to help him, but the blond had to have his limits.
Instead he hugged T.K.'s crest to his chest and whispered," Thank you."
T.K. smiled warmly at him. "Anything for a friend. " Then T.K.'s face grew serious. "Ken, is there anything else you wanted to ask me?"
Ken felt his face go from bright red to purple. "No," he mumbled. At least, not until I absolutely have to.
"In that case we should both probably get some sleep. Otherwise neither one of us will be in any condition to fight the Powers of Darkness."
Ken nodded and quickly stood up. He realized that he was still holding T.K.'s crest in his hand and quickly held it out to the blond. "Here," he muttered, avoiding T.K.'s eyes.
T.K. reached out, but instead of taking it, the blond's hand closed over his and pushed the crest back in his direction.
"You keep it for now," T.K. murmured, stepping close to him and whispering softly in his ear. "Right now you need it more than I do. Think of it as a good luck charm." T.K. pulled back and smiled at him. "Everytime you look at it, I want you to remember what I said, and I want you to remember that I'm here with you."
His mouth fell open in surprise, but he managed to nod. "I will," he said faintly. He slipped the chain over his head and the crest settled against his own Crest of Kindness with a musical clinking sound.
"Goodnight, Ken. No more tears," T.K. whispered, shifting closer to him and placing a hand on his arm. "I'm right here beside you. You're safe now."
"Night, T.K.," he whispered back, tears of sudden happiness running down his cheeks. He was pretty sure he was in shock. T.K. had called him a friend. T.K. had promised to help him. T.K. had promised he would not be alone anymore...
"Ken? I don't know what's made the Dark Ocean come back to you, but I will find out," T.K. whispered. "Goodnight."
Ken shook his head and smiled. There were still many obstacles left to get past in his relationship with T.K. before he could really call what they had friendship, but it was a start. The wall was still there, but the cracks were spreading, and there was hope. Ken wrapped his fingers around the Crest of Hope and closed his eyes. Within minutes, he fell into a deep sleep. The light of the crest cast a faint glow on his creamy coloured skin, and this time his dreams were pleasant.