Don't Dwell in the Past

Kara kept pestering me for the next few days. You know, about asking Rob over so he could explain. I kept ignoring her for the most part.

"I'll do it when I'm ready, Kara," I kept telling her.

She only replied with a grunt.

Then I asked her where Steph had been for the past few days, because I hadn't seen her anywhere for awhile.

"Oh, she's out sick," Kara said.

Hmm...somehow I don't believe that. I'd just call her myself if she didn't show up the next day.

I dealt with Rob in my own way, since we were now partners. I mean, its not as if I could ignore him anymore, pretending he doesn't exist.

Yeah, that doesn't go over too well when he's usually in the same room with you.

I figured after Mike left I would invite him over. I would tell him everything, from why I left to him being the father of my children. It might not go over too well, but at least I wouldn't have that nagging me anymore. And, of course, he'd tell me his side of the story.

Kara, Rob, and I went out to lunch. I know, I know. Well, I couldn't really back out of it, because I had already told Kara I would go. Little did I know she invited Mr. Wilkins also. I really should have asked beforehand, shouldn't I have?

Well, there is my stupid side for you.

We went to a little place down the road. It wasn't fancy, but it had good food. Very good food.

We ordered our food and ate it, talking sometimes in between. We didn't really talk about anything exciting - just our cases and stuff - and the occasional weird tidbit from Kara.

Then Kara had to go and say, "So, Jess, I hear you're brother is leaving today?"

I looked at her strangely. "Yeah...so?" I said.

When she smirked, I knew what she was getting at. "Kara," I said, in a low, growl-y voice.

Her smirk turned wry. She said, "Well?"

I glared at her. Then I turned to Rob. He was sitting across the table from us. I would have had to sit next to him if Steph were here, but she was still missing...

Hmm. Maybe I could look at a picture of her tonight and see where she was off to. Well, Kara said she was fine, so maybe I should just give her some privacy.

Anyway, I turned to Rob and said sweetly, "Excuse me. We just need to go the ladies' room real quick."

Then Kara was all, "We do?" Which, you know, ruined the whole thing.

I dragged her off to the restroom. As soon as the door was safely secured, I exploded. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?" I yelled.

"Just doing you a favor," she replied, nonchalantly.

"A favor," I repeated, "a FAVOR!"

"Uh huh," she said. Then she turned to the mirror and started reapplying her lipstick.

"A fucking favor," I said. "I don't need any favors, Kara. I'll deal with him on my own!" I assured her. However, I wasn't assuring myself much.

"Yes, you do," she said simply. Then she had the nerve to go and say, "You love him, Jess. I can tell. You still love him after all these years. And, I hate to burst your bubble," she said, "but, frankly, he still loves you too."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. "You have NO idea what I went through with that guy," I growled. Then, after realizing what I said, I went, "Okay, maybe you do, but you don't know what it feels like to have your heart completely torn in half, Kara—"

I stopped myself, before I started crying.

Then Kara went, "Oh, Jess, I'm sorry, honey." And that was when I realized it was too late. The tears were coming full on. And, in seconds, I was balling my eyes out.

Lucky for me, this time, I wore water-proof mascara.

Score one for Jess!

Kara handed me some tissues and said, "I'll be right back, sweetie."

Funny how people treat you like a child when you start sobbing hysterically.

Then I realized what she said. "Oh, m-my god, K-kara. Y-you're n-not gonna t-t-tell him are y-you?"

She looked at me like I was crazy - who knows, maybe I am. "What? Why would I do a thing like that?"

Then she turned around and walked out the restroom door. I was left sitting on the restroom floor (ew), alone. Luckily, Kara had gotten a ton of toilet paper and put on the ground for me. Still, though, it was kind of gross.

A few minutes later, she came back in. She had a smile on her face.

"What did you s-say?" I asked.

She just smiled. "I told him you weren't feeling too well."

"Thanks," I said. "Wait. Um, w-what did he say?"

She grinned. "He was so sweet about it. He asked if he could take you back to your apartment so you could rest. And then he wanted to know if he could go out and buy you something." She sighed happily and looked up at the ceiling. She wrinkled her nose at the toilet paper globs that were stick up there. Then she turned her attention back to me. "God, Mastriani, this guy really cares about you. You really ought to give him another chance."

I pondered this a bit. "Maybe," I finally said.

"I'll take that," she said, "seeing as I won't be able to change your mind. Hopefully something - or someone - can knock some sense into you."

I got up off the floor and went to the mirror. God, I looked horrible. "Great," I muttered.

I fixed myself up, with Kara's help, of course. Then we went back to our table.

Rob smiled at me. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"A little," I replied.

Then he said, "Your eyes are a little puffy, were you—?"

"No," I cut him off, "I think I was allergic to something I ate."

"Oh," he said. "Well, we'll just make sure you know what's in your food next time."

I nodded my head in reply.

Soon after that, we left.

As we were coming in the building, we - or, rather, I - bumped in the Steph. "Steph!" I exclaimed, "where have you been?"

She looked at us awkwardly. Then she said, "Erm, sick. Yeah, I've been sick." Then she fake-sneezed to try and prove her point. Ha, nice try, Steph.

"Huh," I said, "well, okay, feel better!"

She smiled. "Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll try." Hmm, I bet.

Kara walked away with Steph somewhere. They were talking in hushed voices. Not to mention, they left me all alone. With Rob.

"Hmm," Rob said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, I guess. "Strange friends you've got there."

"Heh, yeah, I know," I agreed. "But they really are the best friends someone could have."

And that's where the conversation ended. God, we cannot seem to hold up a conversation. Whatever. Maybe its better off we don't talk much.

We went our separate ways after we got off the elevator. I mean, we were partners, but for some reason, we got assigned different projects. I mean, when we had to go out, it was okay, but inside the building, it was totally different.

I had nothing planned for today, so I headed over to the pool that was by the gym. YEAH, my work place had its own pool, gym, shooting range, wrestling room, AND daycare - that one was courtesy of me. Speaking of day care, I should go visit my kids after I go for a swim. God, I haven't been in a few weeks.

I was clad in a bikini, since my old bathing suit was destroyed from the chlorine. Note to self: get a new one-piece.

I changed in the locker rooms - for some odd reason, they were co-ed - GOD, imagine seeing ROB in there? You know, one of these days, I probably will. Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing me in my altogether. And, as much as I may seem to despise him, I wouldn't mind seeing him in the nude either. Despite the fact that I already have.

As I walked out, one of my co-workers whistled at me. I playfully punched him in the arm - or, I thought it was playful. He went, "OW!" Apparently, I punched harder than I thought.

"You look good, Mastriani. Haven't seen you around here in a while," he said.

"Yeah, I've had a lot on my mind lately. So, you goin' for a swim?" I asked, pointing to the pool.

"Yeah, actually, I am. Didn't see you in the locker room, though. What, were you using your powers to turn invisible?" he joked.

"NO!" I protested. Then I said, "You wanna race, Reynolds?"

He grinned. "Sure."

We raced. I beat his ass.

Ugh. That sounds kinky. Eww...

"Good race, Mastriani," he said, when we got out of the pool.

I replied with an "uh huh" that wasn't very attractive. But, uh, I wasn't really looking to attract Dean Reynolds.

We sat down on the chairs nearby and talked for a bit. That was when he leaned over and kissed me. Um, this was...weird.

Of course I didn't kiss him back. I mean, he was a good guy and everything, but I just wasn't attracted to him.

So, I pushed him away. "Dean, please, I'm not interested in you, okay? I keep telling you that."

"Then who are you interested in, Jess? Almost every single guy in this fucking building has asked you out and you turned down every last one of them," he informed me. Yeah, I knew that Reynolds.

"Look, Reynolds, I've had my share of heartbreaks, okay? I'm just not capable of giving it away again. Now, please, I have to go see my kids," I said. I got up and wrapped the towel around me, so Mr. I-think-I-can-woo-you can't really check me out.

I really need to get that new bathing suit.

I left the pool area, went to change in the locker room. I changed, noticing that there were a couple guys in there staring at me - while I changed. They were staring at my boobs as I took my top off. I noticed Dean was there, too. Of course he was staring too.

As I walked past them, to the showers, I said, "Take a picture, guys, it lasts longer."

I felt like a slut showering naked in front of a bunch of guys, but whatever. It wasn't like I was going to shower in my bathing suit.

After I finished the shower, I went to go grab my towel. That was when I noticed practically every guy staring at me. Including Mr. Wilkins, who had just walked in. I quickly wrapped my towel around me.

As I walked back to my bag, I said, loudly enough for everyone to hear, "You know, you don't usually win a woman's heart by watching her shower."

Then I got dressed, noticing that all the guys were watching me get dressed, except one of the gay guys - he was enjoying how most of the guys' towels were falling off when watching me.

After I finished getting dressed, I put my bag away in my locker. I walked towards the door stopping near Rob. I put one of my hands to his chest, and said, "Its good to know you still enjoy my naked body, Wilkins."

This earned me a shocked expression from Rob. Finally, I left, feeling happy. I mean, it feels good to know that guys like to stare at you while you change. Especially some of the hot guys that worked here.

I went to the elevator and pressed the floor number for the day care center. I got there quicky.

When I first walked in, I noticed there were a few other moms there. Some of them I recognized, while others I did not.

I walked over to my kids, who were playing very nicely with a little boy about their age. I sat down with them and started playing cards with them for a bit. They were playing Old Maid - a classic childhood card game.

At the end of the game - with me getting the Old Maid - one of my co-workers, Emily Lees, came over. "Hey, Mastriani, what're you doing up here?" she asked.

"Playing with my kids," I replied nonchalantly.

"Wait, these little sweethearts are yours?" she asked incredulously. What, I can't have adorable, sweet children? Is that really a crime?

"Erm, yeah," I replied awkwardly.

"Really? Well, they are so cute!" she said. "Have you met Jonathan? He's my little angel. And here is my little devil right here," she said, holding up her toddler.

I laughed. It really was funny. "I didn't know you had kids, Jess. I mean, I know this was made for you, but I didn't exactly know why..."

Yeah, Lees isn't exactly known for her intelligence or her tact. But she is one hell of an interrogator. She can get answers - correct ones - out of anybody.

Emily and I talked for a little bit. I got to hold her toddler, Melissa. She was unbelievably adorable, but I noticed she like shiny things - like a raccoon.

I looked at the clock - it said 3:26. Wow, I'd been here for over an hour! Then I said I had to get back to work. I hugged and kissed my kids and told them I'd come back later when it was time to go home. Em did the same and we walked back towards my office together.

"You and I should do something sometime," Emily said. "You know, hang out or something."

I smiled at her. "Yeah, that would be awesome, Lees. Whenever you're free, call me. I should be available, seeing as I have no life outside the FBI."

She giggled at that. "Alright, well, I'll see you later, Mastriani."

I went in my office. I went on my laptop, did some research for this new project I had. About some alien thing - as if there aren't enough already.

I looked at the clock and noticed I had a good hour of work left.

I thought back to the locker room and giggled to myself. That was pretty funny if you think about it. Maybe I should parade around the locker room naked more often. I mean, if I attract the attention of hot guys, its cool. Even if I sorta feel skanky doing it.

Eh, whatever. Its work.

But, as I thought about it, I remembered that Rob was staring at me too. Maybe I should pop in his office or something. You know, say hello.

I did so without thinking.

I went to his office and knocked first - common courtesy. He said to come in and I did.

When he saw it was me, he was all, "Oh!"

I laughed a little and he turned an adorable shade of pink.

Did I just say adorable? God help me...

"What're you doing here?" he asked.

I replied, "Glad to know you appreciate my presence. And I just came by because I was bored as hell."

"Hmm," he said. "Look about the locker room..."

I started laughing. "Don't worry, Rob. I don't care that you were staring at me. And I really don't understand why they made the locker room co-ed."

He chuckled a little too. "Do you usually parade around the locker room naked?" he asked, like he was really interested.

"Um, no, not really. I mean, there just happened to be a lot of guys in there when I went today. And I actually haven't been down there in a few weeks," I informed him. I looked at him and he had this weird look on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied.

"No, really, Rob. What is it?" I asked. I really was interested in what he had to say and all.

"Its not a big deal. Its just, you don't mind walking around like that?" he asked.

I looked at him strangely, before replying, "Why should I? Its not like I'd ever go out with any of them. I mean, tons of them have asked, but I've always turned them down. I mean, today, for instance, one of the guys tried kissing me—"

I stopped myself. Uh, he didn't need to know that.

"What?" he asked. "Go on."

"Um, you know what? Nevermind."

"Jess..." he said, "just finish what you were saying."

"Why?" I asked, like a little kid.

He gave me that look that he used to give me when we were younger, when we—

"Fine," I said. "I just never have gone out with anyone here."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Um, I dunno. I've just been waiting for someone who'll be good to me. Not just someone who finds me attractive."

"Oh," he said. The look in his eyes gave it all away. I think—I think he finally gave up. I mean, what I just said, I guess, was horrible to him. I mean, its not like I cared or anything.

But I did care. I really did. So that's why I did what I did next.

"Rob?" He looked up from the carpet.

"Hmm?"

"Listen, you've been here for quite some time already, and we can't keep on avoiding the subject. So, um, would you like to come over tonight?" I asked. I just wanted to get the asking part done with. "I know we need to talk some things out and stuff."

"Really?" he asked, his hope rising again.

"Really."

"Great," he said.

His enthusiasm kind of made me smile a little. "Awesome," I said, "come over around, uh, eight, I guess. Yeah, eight's good."

He grinned. I guess I said what he wanted. Well, not 'I want you back Robbie' but good enough.

"Oh," I added, "just be warned. I'm ordering take out because I'm not the world's best cook."

He chuckled and said, "Take out sounds good."

And I left his office feeling happy for some odd reason. It was like, I made him happy, which, consequentially, made me happy.

Um, things are starting to get weird around here.

Disclaimer: All of the characters you recognize belong to Meg Cabot, the ultimate writer of our time. All of the other characters you don't recognize - and the plot - belong to me.