16. Strindberg and Helium
It was a gloomy day in Central. The birds were sleeping, the cats were eating, and Roy's entire office was at the indoor pool at the headquarters. Ed was staring stonily in a corner while Hughes and Havoc were bullying Fury into joining Roy so they could play Frisbee with two teams. Farman was reading a book in a different corner from where Ed was, while Hawkeye and Winry were having a pizza-eating contest. They were both covered in cheese, sauce, and other pizza toppings with Al becoming increasingly nervous as his chest plate continued to meow and bark at random.
"Must… eat… more pizza!" Winry muttered around a slice of mushroom. "Must… beat… Hawk-lady…"
Hawkeye was eating without speaking, but at Winry's words she choked and started coughing. Al forgot his animal woes and pounded her on the back while Winry continued to scoff the mushroom at an alarming rate.
"Chicken!" yelled Havoc. "You just don't want to play because you don't like dogs!"
"I do to like dogs!" Fury yelled back.
"Then how come you won't play one of their favorite games?" Roy queried with a smirk.
"Who says I won't?" Fury asked furiously.
"You did," Hughes said and grinned. He was sure this would make Fury blow up.
He was right. Fury exploded in a cacophony of curses and abusive language. Over the tumult of noise, Havoc asked Hughes, "Where do you think he learned all that stuff?"
Hughes was in shock, but managed to quip, "Not from you, surely."
Roy, however was laughing like a maniac. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You're funny! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Shut up!" Ed yelled.
"We are already in hell," said a strange, dark man with a pink balloon floating around his head.
"Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!" The pink balloon chimed in.
"The world is at an end. Children and happiness have manifested themselves in the worst ways imaginable. We will all die," the man continued to monologue mournfully.
"Dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" the pink balloon said cheerfully.
Roy started laughing again. "Who are you?" Hughes asked over the loud laughter.
"Strindberg."
"Strindberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!"
"August Strindberg."
"Strindberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!"
"And this… is Helium."
"Heliummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!"
"They're both nuts," Ed commented. "Throw them in the pool."
"They're funny!" laughed Roy and Hughes.
"Absinthe is my only vice left in this world," Strindberg said sadly. " The world smells of decay."
"Decayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
"Women are man's greatest enemy."
"Strindberg happy tonight… Strindberg happy tonight…"
"Shut up, will you?" Ed snapped.
"I have slaved over the hellish flames all day…" mumbled Tall, Dark, and Gloomy.
"Whatever," snorted Ed, and without further ado, pushed him into the pool. He sank straight to the bottom and disappeared. Helium disappeared as well.
"That was completely pointless," Fury said wryly.
"Yup," Ed agreed.
A/n- Did ya miss me? Huh? Did ya? I had a bad case of writers' block. That and I went to India, Thailand, and Japan for a month. Japan was just a layover to go on to Bangkok, Thailand, though. So we didn't stay long.
Strindberg and Helium...haha, they're funny. Look them up on google, there are four hilarious movies on them.
Review! I demand you review! And yes, I'm not in this chapter.