Deep Depression, a .hack/sign fanfic

.Hack/Deep Depression

Author's note: The song is "Blurry" by Puddle Of Mudd and the lyrics come courtesy of This song is available on the Puddle Of Mudd album "Come Clean". This is supposed to be about Shugo's life after Rena's assumed death (I know she doesn't actually die but let's pretend O.K.?)

Everything's so blurry

and everyone's so fake

and everybody's empty

and everything is so messed up

pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

Shugo walked down a road in the Town area of the world. It was nighttime in The World and he was alone. He hadn't talked to his friends in who knows how long and was almost always being hunted down for attacks on other users. He had become someone who he never wanted to be, a threat to the security of others. He then stopped and asked himself, "How did I get to be like this! Why did I blow off my friends and become someone who randomly attacks people!" He then remembered why, it was because of his twin sister.

you could be my someone

you could be my savior

you know that I'll protect you

from all of the obscene

I wonder what your doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far

Once again, he felt the pain and anger that had drove him to attack anyone and be a threat to The World's society or to his own community. He had been getting into fights at school a lot and had been getting in trouble for them. He then remembered how his twin sister Rena died.

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

He remembered how he'd almost saved her, but a weird virus had taken control of her. Shugo had tried to save her from the virus but failed. He then Data drained the virus and defeated it. However when the virus was deleted, so was Rena. What was left of her player character had landed where the virus was and dissolved slowly. Shugo ran up to it and noticed it was his sister that had also died. He was heartbroken and just stood there looking at what little was left of his sister. However, the problem at hand was not fixed yet, which he then went onto fix in honor of Rena.

everyone is changing

there's no one left that's real

to make up your own ending

and let me know just how you feel

cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

He then sat down on a nearby bench, His eyes had filled up with tears, he had missed his sister so much. He missed her nice personality and her need to spend time together. "Oh Rena, I'm sorry. I should never have data drained that virus. Just look at where it put you." Shugo thought. He tried to hold his tears back, but to no avail. He looked down at his right hand and saw the bracelet Aura had given him. He then wished it would come off his hand so that he could throw it somewhere never to be found again.

Just looking at his bracelet made feel more rage and anger.

you could be my someone

you could be my savior

you know that I'll protect you

from all of the obscene

I wonder what your doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far

He then tried to get it off his hand so that he could get rid of the evil item that killed Rena. He tried every thing, even his twin blades. Nothing worked, which only made him feel more anger bordering on hatred. "What good is this thing if it killed my only sister!" He said to himself. "There's got to some way to get rid of this." He continued. In the shadows behind him, something was running towards him.

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

That thing had jumped on his shoulder; He got up quickly and attacked it with his twin blades. It was pretty fast for a little guy. He finally got one of his twin blades through it. He then stood there, watching it die and feeling more anger toward The World. A few minutes later, a girl had walked up to him and asked him,

"Excuse me have you seen my…" She didn't finish her sentence because she saw what she was looking for, dying on the bench. "OH NO! ARE YOU O.K.?" she asked it. It replied back slowly in grunting noises. She then looked at Shugo and said "YOU MONSTER, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY GRUNTY!"

Oh, Nobody told me what you thought

nobody told me what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

told you where to run away

nobody told you where to hide

nobody told you what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

showed you where to run away

"You Monster!" That was a phrase Shugo had heard quite commonly since he started attacking people at random. But that didn't matter; nothing mattered to him at that moment. The only thing that did matter was getting revenge on a world that took Rena away from him. He then pull one of his blade out of the dead grunty and jumped on the girl. "You're going to pay for what you did to my sister!" He yelled before stabbing and punching the girl. The girl did not want to fight back but was defending most of the attacks very well. The only attack she couldn't defend was his mostly deadliest attack, which was his twin blades striking her stomach very hard. She fell down onto the ground, bleeding profusely.

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

can you take it all away

when ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

"There, that I'll show you that you that no one…" He couldn't finish his sentence because he had then noticed that he just killed one of his friends. "OH NO!" He yelled as he ran up to his injured friend. "Hotaru, are you O.K.?" He asked.

"Shugo…" she replied.

"I'm right here Hotaru, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you!" He said as tears welled in his eyes again.

"Shugo…" She said again before she began dissolving bit by bit.

"NO! Hotaru! Please don't die!" He yelled as tears ran down his cheeks.

He then gave her an energy drink but that went right through her head.

"NO! PLEASE!" He bargained one last time before Hotaru disappeared.

He then lay down on the ground and cried.

"What have I done! I've killed one of my friends!" He said to himself.

you take it all

you take it all away...

this pain you gave to me

you take it all away

this pain you gave to me

take it all away

this pain

He then noticed a river nearby and decided that the only way to end this bad streak was to end it all. He walked up the bridge and got on the railing. He thought about not jumping, but he decided to do it anyways. Nobody would miss him; He had killed Hotaru and Rena meaning that his mother or his friends would never want to talk to him again. Plus his father works all the time and could care less about what happened to him anyways. He jumped into river and flowed along with it underwater. One of his other friends had almost made it to the bridge to stop him but she was too late. "Oh Shugo, If only you had told us you missed Rena. We could have helped you." She then cried as well.