Disclaimer: Lucky for you guys I don't own Stargate SG1 or any of it's characters

"Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane."

--H.P. Lovecraft

"I would not ask you, but I do not think that GeneralHammond would let me off the base alone for this."

Sam stared at Teal'c with a nervous look in her face. How did SHE get into these situations anyways? No, it didn't look like the Jaffa was kidding…

"Uh…well Teal'c I'm not really that great at this sort of thing… why don't you try the Colonel?" she asked hopefully. Teal'c shook his head.

"O'Neill says and I quote, 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me,'"

"Ah… yeah… that certainly sounds like the Colonel…" Sam muttered, "But… what about Daniel? He's into the whole … um… cultural thing… right?" Teal'c shook his head once again.

"He is indeed, but he already knows how to do it MajorCarter."

Sam had a fixed smile, "Of course he does…"

"It was in fact DanielJackson that suggested I come to you MajorCarter." Teal'c informed Sam. Sam held back a twitch.

"Of course it was," … oh… she would get him for this… no amount of big blue eyes or chocolate would get him out of this one. She stared forlornly at the pamphlet in Teal'c's hand. A pamphlet for beginning Salsa Dance.

Dance was simply something she wasn't good at. When she was a little girl she didn't want to be a ballerina (or a princess or have a pony…), she was playing with the guys in the mud getting dirty, playing soldier. Dance was… well… girly. She never had learnt and because of that she was a horrible dancer.

She didn't want to disappoint Teal'c though. He was still getting into the whole… 'Earth culture thing' even after three years of being on the planet. He still didn't know much about it at all. Usually it was Jack or even Daniel handling all of the cultural stuff, but Jack… well it seemed he wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole and Daniel… actually she didn't know why Daniel didn't just go with him. If he already knew how to Salsa wouldn't it make it that much simpler?

God, why couldn't it be something else? ANYTHING else. A movie, amusement park… a button factory for God's sake! Actually… now that she thought about it, she didn't spend much time with Teal'c outside the SGC. Only when they went out for team nights, or a barbecue, or special celebration… it was never really just her and Teal'c.

That didn't mean it had to be dance though.

"Are you sure about this Teal'c? I mean… I'm not that great at dancing and I don't want to embarrass you or anything…"

"You would never embarrass me MajorCarter, and it is a beginning class after all."

Let it never be said that Teal'c didn't put much emotion into anything. He did, it was just subtle, if you knew him long enough like Sam did you could tell… and right now the look on his face was begging her begging her.

Daniel you are so dead…

"Okay Teal'c," she said plastering that false smile back on her face, "I'll sign up with you." Teal'c tilted his head in gratitude.

"Thank-you MajorCarter."

"You're welcome Teal'c"

So, so, so, so Dead…

Sam was irked… yes, irked was the right word. She was going into this… dance class and to worsen matters she couldn't even find Daniel to take her wrath out on. It seemed every time she could even find the linguist he had, 'something really important to do and would catch up with her later, sorry, bye.' and would speed off in a flurry of papers, books and coffee.

She told the Colonel about it, but all he did was laugh and say, 'Good, you needed a new hobby Carter.'

She can't even take her wrath out on him because he's her commanding officer… that's it… he's off the Christmas list… coal in his stocking… yeah…

"MajorCarter, if you feel uncomfortable about this we do not have to," Teal'c offered gentleman Jaffa that he was.

"No, no Teal'c, I'm fine, I'm ready, let's do this," Sam replied berating herself. She was a Major in the US Air Force… she went to other planets weekly for goodness sakes. She was NOT going to let a stupid little dance class intimidate her.

Together they walked in.

"Holy Hannah…" she muttered under her breath stopping herself from turning around.

'Screw being a major, I want out of here!' her mind screamed as she took in all the teenagers with long skirts and awkward looking boys obviously dragged here by respective girl friends. There was a little group of guys standing in the corner huddled together like scared birds with no girlfriends. There were a few seniors, husbands grumbling about being too old for this sort of stuff, and in the middle of it all, a gorgeous short woman with slim hips, long curly dark hair and coffee coloured skin holding on to an average height hottie with blond hair and green eyes. Woof. What a couple those two made.

"Okay," the woman yelled over the din, "I want everyone to stand in a line, woman on the right side, men on the left." the woman instantly reminded her of Janet Fraiser. Though small in stature the short woman instantly got the sulking teenage boys straightened out and into a line, much like Janet getting a group of marines to suck it up and take a shot.

"Since there are more guys than girls in this class some of you boys will have to be the girls for now."

The boys without girlfriends looked a bit horrified at this, but were divided in half and put into the line.

"You can change rolls when I say," the teacher instructed. Sullen looks greeted her but no arguments.

When everyone was organized the teachers finally introduced themselves.

"I am Erika, and this is Mike, my partner," she said gesturing to the blond beside her.

"We are going to teach you the art of Salsa," Mike said taking up her slack. Mike reminded Sam of Daniel. He had a good voice that was easy to listen to and made wild hand gestures.

"Whether it's for your high school prom, exercise, or to impress your girlfriend… and trust me guys, chicks dig a guy that knows how to use his feet, or if it's just for fun you have definitely come to the right place."

"Now, there are two rules in this class," Erika declared, "The first is there is no talking while myself or Mike is explaining a move, or when someone is asking a question. You are expected to listen. The second rule, and most important is respect to all your partners because you are not staying with the same one for the first few classes. You will show courtesy, whether they are young, old, black white, green, or male," she said this looking over at some of the guys that were shuffling their feet staring at their male partners that looked equally embarrassed.

"If this happens, and you act disrespectful you will be thrown out of this class and asked never to return. We will have no hurt feelings in this class," her serious look broke and she grinned at them all.

"Okay, let's have fun, we'll start with a simple one two step. If you do not know your partner's name introduce yourself."

Hawk: to be continued