Hello readers, this chapter I wanted to put up a thing to reply to the reviewers. And here it is…
To Fenrir Hellfyre: Thanks Fenrir, for being a dedicated reader person…
To RavenGhost: Hee, this is the update:3
To Luigi III: It feels really great to hear that, it's encouraging me to make it more…parodyish. Oh, and TOS comes out in this about a chapter or two away, when Regal goes to Game stop to find the Code Veronica game and a Game cube, and he sees that and…hey…you tricked me into spoiling the surprise… xx…some of it.
A note to everyone: It will take me a bit longer to write these chapters because it's been very, very humid lately and my computer is in the warmest place in the house. Sorry for the…little inconvenience…
Chapter Five: Pizza, cars, blah blah blah
Raine sighed, pacing back in forth, wondering if she should just quit the act with Kratos. She hated being with him, he was turning into a Zelos! He slapped her butt once or twice, but she had to act like she liked it, especially in front of Regal. Kratos even started to talk like Zelos, giving her nicknames, acting like an ass, so on. She wasn't sure if she could keep it up much longer. She REALLY wanted Regal again, and he wasn't coming on.
Raine then remembered, it's over a week and she only paid for three nights at the hotel.
"Hm, looks like we'll have to buy a house." Raine suggested to her self.
"But I might have to ask Regal, he's used to working with them as a businessman." She muttered to herself, shaking her head.
She walked over to Regal, frowning as he read the biography of Michael Jackson, "He sounds…scary, evil, annoying, stupid, gay…" Regal stopped as he looked up to find Raine biting her lower lip and holding her hands together. Regal just turned away from her, put his book down and closed his eyes as he layed down, hands behind his head.
"Regal, I need you." Raine said, meaning it in both ways.
Regal batted an eye at her, "Me? Are you sure you do not mean Kratos?"
"Yes…you." Raine said starting to hug him.
Regal sighed and opened his arms, "Why did you do that with Kratos?"
Raine fell into his arms, "I wanted to make you love me more."
"Where's the logic in that?" Regal said with a few chuckles.
Raine smiled, "I don't know, but I need you."
Regal patted her on the back and released her a bit so that he could look at her face to face, "But promise me, don't do anything like that again."
"Sure." Raine agreed, soundly kissing him on the neck.
Regal looked over to her, "Ummmm…" and pointed to the kids, watching out of boredom.
"Gooooo Raine!" Genis cheered, receiving a smack on his head.
Kratos came waltzing through the door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, "Hunny doodly doodles, ready for some…REGAL!"
"Yes, I am ready for some Regal!" Raine cheered, tackling him onto the bed and smothering him in kisses and…stuff.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kratos screamed and ran out crying.
Regal snarled at Kratos and went back to making out. Raine still remembered that she had to ask him about the computer, but she knew it could…would wait.
Meanwhile at Lloyd's room…
Kratos bursted through the door and stomped in.
"Dad, why are you stomping like an obnoxious little five year old?" Lloyd asked, cocking an eyebrow, as if it took a lot of thinking to say it.
"RAINE DUMPED ME!" He cried, kicking his feet on the bed.
"Aww, he's having an emotional break down." Zelos chimed. And he didn't even get a…
Sheena slapped him upside the back of the head.
Lloyd just forgot what was happening and started thinking about pizza. 'I…need…MORE!' he thought to himself. His eyes twitched, along with his arm, he was sweating, and he was ready to burst into the other room and demand Regal to call for some more, and he did just that.
Lloyd sat there at the doorway, door open of course, and looked in amazement.
"Professor…Regal…wow." He told them, standing stiff.
"Lloyd, um, what do you want?" Raine asked, pulled away from Regal.
"…I want pizza:D" he demanded, totally forgetting what he had just seen.
"Right…" Regal said, getting up and walking to the phone.
As he dialed up Papa John's, he noticed Lloyd there, next to him, pulling on his shirt, "What is it Lloyd?"
"Actually, can we go to eat pizza at this place called PIZZA HUT:D" Lloyd asked, jumping up and down.
Regal sighed and looked to Raine, who just shrugged in approval. Don't ask me what an approving shrug looks like.
"Fine, get the others…" the tall man told the boy, already zooming to the other room.
"PIZZA! COME! OTHER ROOM!" Lloyd shouted and ran back to the other room.
"What the hell was that all about?" the ninja asked, a bit frightened.
"Dunno, but he said pizza, let's go." The pervert announced, jumping and running to the other room.
"Oo! Oo! Pizza!" Colette screamed, running out the door frantically.
"Kratos are you coming?" the ninja asked, facing the heartbroken angel.
"No, I'm gonna' sit here and mope all day."
"Okay, whatever." She said, walking through the door.
They all cheered as Regal and Raine led them downstairs.
"Regal, while I was at the library I picked out a book on modern times, and I read about these strange transportation vehicles called 'cars'!" Raine screamed, trying to get Regal's attention.
"I can't hear you!" He yelled back.
"SHUT UP!" Raine hollered, getting everyone's attention. They all looked at her in fright.
"As I was saying, Regal, they use transportation vehicles in these times, called cars." The half elvin woman explained.
"Ack! I forgot all about the rehairds!" Regal brought up, smacking his forehead.
"The people around here don't use them, so it would only attract attention." Raine said, crossing her arms.
"We're you intending to get a car before we left to Pizza hut?" the blue haired man asked.
"Yes." Raine replied rather very simply.
"I'll whine the whole time at the car place, until we get pizza." Lloyd threatened.
"No you won't." Raine stated with an evil glare.
"Yeah, your right." Lloyd said yelping.
They all got to some car place and started looking around.
"Wow! Look at that funky car!" Colette yelled pointing at some beetle.
"Wow! That could only fit about four of us." Lloyd said, looking at the strange car and smiling.
"Look for something bigger" Raine said, taking looks at random cars.
Regal started frowning at every car he saw, "I'm not sure I could fit into any of these"
"Don't worry pops, your just getting' old." Zelos said, grinning.
"His body aint' old yet!" Raine announced with a big grin.
Everyone just stared at the two, Raine thinking about his body…ahem, and Regal…blinking.
"…You're, you-re just jealous of my wisdom! O.o" Regal said looking Zelos in the eyes.
Zelos turned around towards some limo, " That could fit all of us."
"Hmm, I was looking for something that can go in dirt too." Raine said.
Raine turned around and saw Lloyd and Colette giggling at a bright yellow Scion xB. She shook her head and went back to searching.
Lloyd began to crave his pizza again, "Raaaaaine, I want pizza!"
Raine ignored him and kept looking.
"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaine!" Lloyd whined.
Raine was getting ticked, "Shut up Lloyd."
"But I'm huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungry!" he whined back.
"That it," Raine turned around and picked a random car to get out and shut Lloyd up, " Let's just go with this Mazda Tribute."
Regal started to examine it when a man in suit walked over to them, "Sorry, it's been a busy day, but how can I help you?"
"Um, could you give us a little more information on that car?" Regal asked.
The man started to sweat, he didn't know anything about cars really, he just sold them, "Um…um…the seats are adjustable and…and it has a radio…"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PIZZA!WAAAAAAAA!" Lloyd cried in Colette's arm. Everyone started giving him weird looks, even the toddlers.
"Fine, whatever, we'll take it." Regal agreed, rubbing his temples.
"Wee! Wee! Wee!" Lloyd screamed.
The man shrugged, " Forty thousand, five hundred and eleven. I guess." I wrote it out because people don't talk in number codes, th4t w0u1d b3 cr33py.
"I wonder how you've still got your job." Regal said handing over the money.
Regal sat there, waiting for them to bring it out; it was taking quite a bit.
"Yo, Regal, drive it through the window yourself." The pervert said with a smirk.
"Remember, even though we don't know what they are, there are always consequences." He reminded the young adult.
"Erm, your no fun." The red head replied.
"PI-PI-PI-PIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!11!1!one!" Lloyd begged
Raine started hitting her head on the wall while Regal rubbed his forehead more.
Finally the car was outside, and so were they.
"Well, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, and here's your keys and stuff." The man said clearly, and gave the stuff to Regal.
"…Right…" Regal said.
"Let's put the seating arrangement together, leave, and shut Lloyd up." The blue haired man announced.
"I'll have the passenger seat." Raine claimed.
"I want to be next to my hunnies!" Zelos cried.
"I want to be next to Colette and Presea." Sheena called.
"I'll be next to Genis and Zelos then." Lloyd agreed.
Regal got up to the driver's seat, with Raine next to him. He sat in a moment of silence, looking at the steering wheel.
"What's wrong?" Raine asked.
"Um, unless it's similar to a rheaird, I can't work it…" Regal said.
"How'd you even get it without a liscense!" Raine brought up.
"…" Regal replied, again if it is a reply.
"…We can get a tow truck." Colette stated out of nowhere.
"No, I have an idea…I'll take driving school really fast while some wait here, I want four here, so which three want to learn how to drive a car?" Regal suggest/ asked thing ish…
"I do!" Lloyd said.
"No Lloyd, I don't trust you." Raine said.
"Awwww…"
"I want to." Sheena said.
"I-" Zelos was cut off.
"So shall I." Raine said.
"Me—" Zelos was cut off again, they really didn't want him to.
"I will." Presea added.
"Presea, remember, people won't believe you're twenty eight." The blue haired man reminded.
"Crap, that leaves Zelos, as the only eligible adult left…" the white mage grumbled.
"Wahoo!" Zelos cheered.
Sheena sighed, "Well, let's get going."
And they all zoomed off, eventually making it to school.
"Erp, wrong school." Sheena said, standing in front of an elementary.
And they zoomed off and eventually making it to DRIVING school.
"Um, I need four quick lessons on how to drive a car." Regal demanded.
"Well sir, it depends if-a ya' hava' ID and a, how long?" the man said calmly.
"Where do you get an ID? And really quick." Regal replied.
"Herm, vera' well ten', I willa give ya' some, though I don't seem whya' ya' don't have 'em already, yar old enough." The man said.
"How long will it take?" Regal asked impatiently.
"Really quick." The man replied, smiling.
After a little wait they all got their IDs.
"Wella' it's time to start yar' classess." The man stated.
Yes, they quickly, and magically learned how to drive a car and thanked him. And soon they were back to the car. They sat there seeing only Presea by the car.
"Where's the others?" Sheena asked frantically looking around.
"Lloyd decided to walk to pizza hut and Colette and Genis are trying to stop him." Presea replied.
"We'll pick him up on the way." Regal said, and they all hopped into the car.
Regal was a pretty darn amazing driver for one who only studied at driving school for about an hour…oO
Regal turned his head a bit and saw Lloyd being dragged down by the two on the sidewalk and stopped right by them.
Zelos muffled his mouth with a fist, making a bunch of weird sounds—like a song of some sort.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha' gonna' do, whatcha' gonna' do when they come for you… etc, etc, etc.
"Uh…sure." Regal replied.
"Get in you three." Regal said, putting the window down.
"PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!" Lloyd screamed plowing into the car with Lloyd and Genis still on his. As soon as Lloyd sat down he got two slaps on the head.
"Pizza!" he demanded, ignoring the pain.
Regal started the car up again and headed towards pizza hut.
"You know, it would be so cool riding in this in Sylvarant and Tethealla!" Colette said.
"And a lot easier than trying to get Noishe going, since he only gave you rides if you gave him a sandwich." Genis added.
"Yeah." Colette replied. Right after the small conversation they all hopped out of the car and walked into pizza hut.
"PIZZAAAAAAAAAA!" Lloyd cheered, pounding his chest and running in with his fists in the air. People watched him and looked at Raine and Regal, assuming they were the parents, because they're older, not because they look like him because they share no resemblance what so ever with Lloyd! Regal and Raine sighed and slunk their shoulders, and walked in after him, the party close behind them. Within' moments they have went in and were seated in a large booth.
"So Lloyd, do you still train with your swords?" Colette asked happily.
"Yes…pizza…I sure do…pizza…everyday…pizza." He replied, twitching everytime he said pizza.
Regal sighed and sat back with his hands behind his head, "This should be faster than the delivery."
Raine sat back with him and rest her head on his chest, "Lloyd's got me beat."
"That didn't sound very Rainey." Zelos pointed out.
"Rainy?" Raine asked, looking around, "Water! Where!"
"…Uh, I mean, water…where? I want a…drink?" Raine babbled out.
Regal chuckled and shook his head.
It had been about an hour and they still sat there, waiting. Lloyd was screaming his head off for pizza, Colette and Sheena played patty cake and crap like that, Presea sat there boredly with Zelos, Raine had been making challenging quizzes for Genis, and Regal was holding his head up with one hand and drumming the table boredly with his other.
"I'm tired of waiting Raaaaaaaaaaaaaine." Zelos whined, dozing off.
A woman holding a few plates and things came by the table and started laying things down, you know, dishes and stuff.
"PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!" Lloyd cheered
"Here are your breadsticks, the pizza will be done in a WHILE…" the waitress explained smiling, and slipped away.
"Pizza!…pizza…pizza?" Lloyd looked at them confused.
Zelos quickly grabbed one and stuffed it into his mouth, "Pretty good."
Then Presea tried one, "Mmhmm."
Then Lloyd, Colette, Sheena, and Genis had one.
"Yeah, it's okay, but it's missing something." Colette said, grabbing the sauce. She dipped the breadstick into the sauce and ripped the sauced part off.
"Mmm! It's almost as good as pi-" before she could finish Lloyd shoved his breadstick into the sauce and startled her.
"Mmmm…"
Regal and Raine went to grab one but there was only one left.
"Oh, you can have it." The blue haired man kindly offered.
"Or we could share it."
"No, it's okay."
"Please?"
"…Okay?"
He was waiting for her to break it in half but instead she just put on end in her mouth and bent over to let him get the other.
"…What the?" Zelos questioned himself aloud, obviously horrified.
Raine noticed all of them watching because of Zelos! So she sat back down and started nibbling at it, "What!"
She sadly sighed and looked at Regal who was just staring at her with that 'wow' message.
They sat a whole hour in silence, until the pizza came.
As soon as the waitress ran away from the eager Lloyd, he grabbed five pieces and piled them on his plate. They had ordered five pies, cut into eight's(pigs..xD). And they ate it all, loved it, especially Loyd and got back to the hotel.
"Well, I'm gonna' go to bed." Regal announced, looking at the clock. It was eleven thirty.
"Wait, Regal…"Raine started.
"What?"
"Um…never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow."
Raine got in bed and snuggled up next to him. When he was almost asleep, suddenly…Raine started kissing him!
"Bah! Raine?" Regal shouted, crankily…teehee.
"Just giving you a kiss goodnight." She replied, smiling.
"Uh, okay." He said, turning on his back and falling back asleep.
It was during the middle of the night, when suddenly, they heard something hit the wall above them. Regal quickly opened his eyes and saw a…knife? He looked to where I came from and saw Kratos holding his middle finger up at him. Regal just stuck his tongue out like a little kid. Then Kratos put his thumbs on his ears and waved his fingers, wrinkled his nose, closed his eyes, and frowned, "Nanananana!".
Raine rubbed her eyes and looked at the door, "Kratos! What are you doing here?" she asked, startled, of course.
"Nothing…" he replied, running out the door. Raine then looked at Regal who shook his head and went back to sleep.
The next mornING direct(oO)…
Raine woke up and saw…a disaster! There was Lloyd, rolling around with pizza all over him, Zelos and Genis laughing, Colette and Sheena shaking their heads, Regal just staring…with flat eyes.
"Lloyd Irving!" she yelled, getting out of bed and rolling her sleeves up.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Lloyd screamed like a defenseless preppy schoolgirl, and ran out the door with his hands on his cheeks. Bah, stupid preps…not that I aint' popular or anything (I could care less)…a lot of people in my grade know me…but, I'm not one of those annoying, sissy, pansy…back to the story. xx
Raine ignored Lloyd and dragged Regal over to the bed. Wow, she's really strong…
"Raine! It's still too soon!" Regal cried.
Raine laughed," Aw, well, anyways, I need to talk to you about something important."
"Uh, okay." Regal said.
"Okay, we all need to move out to somewhere permanent, and cope with this lifestyle, we may never be able to return." Raine explained.
"Oh no! We're stuck here?" Colette cried.
"…You all can go back to your room." Raine told them.
"Heehee, looks like Raine's ready for some good time with Regal tonight!" the pervert said, giggling along with Genis. Sheena grabbed their ears and pulled them out.
"Boys…" the ninja sighed. Colette walked out after them, worrying about never going back to Sylvarant. This place was too strange for her. Presea sighed and followed them swell.
"Well, as I ways saying…we'll have to act like we're related.
"Hmm, that'll be hard for anyone to believe we're all related. Then again, we do not want to attempt splitting up." Regal said.
"Well, let's put this family together, I'll be the mother, since I've always watched over the party, and since it would look VERY disturbing to call my son sexy and hot, you will be the dad." Raine explained. Regal just smiled and blushed a bit.
"Colette, Lloyd, Genis, and Presea will be our kids…ugh, and…hmm, Zelos can be my brother and Sheena can be your sister, and Kratos…" Raine trailed off.
"…Is heart broken!" she heard from the other room. Raine shook her head.
Kratos walked to the door, "I'm leaving! I can live out here on my own!" Kratos hollered.
"Bye dada!" the heard Lloyd scream from the other room.
"…Anyways… let's tell the others." She said, as they left to Lloyd's room.
4t L10yd'5 r00m 0r r00m 114…told ya' it's weird!…
Everyone, I have an announcement to make." Raine announced.
"You and Regal are getting married?" Zelos guessed, Genis and him giggling.
"Well, that's part of it." Raine replied.
"Go Raine!" Sheena cheered.
" And your gonna' be Regal's sister." Raine stated, pointing at Sheena.
"What the?" Sheena questioned in confusion.
Raine hopped on a desk and pointed to Zelos, "And your gonna' be my…brother."
"…Heh, wow." The pervert replied, smirking.
"And everyone else except Kratos are mine and Regal's children!" the mage ended.
"Daddy!" Colette giggled, hugging Regal.
"…" was Regal's 'I don't know if it's even a reply' reply.
"Momma!" Lloyd cried, running towards Raine, but had been stopped by a boot, stamped onto his face.
Raine gasped, looking at the clock, it was almost eight am, "COLETTE! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!"
"Oopsies…" Colette muttered. Being pulled out of the room by Raine.
"I already did myyy work." Genis bragged.
"Shbooboop, I'll be leaving in an hour." Lloyd announced.
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Well, that's it for the fifth chapter. And later on in the series, this will be a humor/parody. It's just getting weirder and weirder. And I'm planning on making a sequeal after this, but if you really want to know, you'll have to wait…or email me. ; Please, R&R! And thanks for the 234 hits…but I've noticed the hits have dropped by chapter, is it that it's too long or boring? ;;