Disclaimer: I own nothing. CSI: Miami and CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation belong to whomever they belong to. The songs belong to Enigma and Micheal Cretu.

Synopsis: Angst fest. Tim loves Eric and Eric doesn't love him. It's Horatio to the rescue… sort of. (Timothy Speedle/Horatio Caine)

Archive: Long as you ask and make sure my e-mail address is with it... :)

Pairing: Horatio Caine/Timothy Speedle

Rating: R because of allusions to sexual content and very little
strong language. Rating will probably go up later due to sexual
content. (LOL)

Authors Notes: This was supposed to be a Eric Delko/Timothy Speedle
fic but for some reason it didn't work out. Then I was going to make
it Speed/Greg Sanders-- but my muse demanded that I write a
Horatio/Speed fic. So, here is the first part and I hope you enjoy.
(Be forewarned... it takes me a long time to post the chapters
afterwards... LOL. I'm bad about that...) Ah, and it is extremely
disjointed... it's supposed to be.

Chapter 4: Life is Crazy, Life is Mad

((Carly don't be sad, life is crazy, life is mad… don't be afraid. Carly don't be sad—that's your destiny. They only chance—take it… take it in your hands. ))

The hospital was dead quiet at the late hour and Horatio was on his way outside to call Eric. He hadn't heard anything new—but he needed someone there right now. He knew Yelina was too busy in the evenings with Ray Jr., Calleigh was still in the lab helping the graveyard shift process the totaled hummer, Speed was in the hospital, and Horatio was there—so that only left Eric. Horatio pressed the Mem 5 button which had Eric's number on speed dial. The phone rang three times before Eric actually picked up. Horatio knew it was because the younger man was sleeping. It was a common thing for someone who worked the day shift.

"'lo?" Eric's voice was groggy and sleep laden. Horatio allowed himself a slight smile as he heard his colleague drop something in the background. "Fuck." He heard slightly distantly, he realized that Eric had dropped the phone. "Sorry… who is this?" He asked. Horatio smiled again, even knowing that Eric couldn't see it.

"Yeah, Eric, it's Horatio." Horatio said quietly, not wanting to disturb the other people outside the hospital who were either smoking or talking to loved ones from cell phones. Eric, for all his sleepiness, instantly snapped up to a fully alert mood. Worry gripped his being all over again. He wasn't sure what news he was going to hear from then on out as far as he knew, Speed was in bad shape and could possibly die. He bit his lower lip, praying that he didn't sound as pathetic as he felt.

"Is… Speed… still… alive…?" Eric asked, his voice small and meek in his dark apartment. He heard Horatio chuckle slightly and he felt angry. But he didn't have the heart to yell or scream… he could find nothing amusing about the situation and Horatio was chuckling. It took Eric a moment to realize that it was a mirthless chuckle, one born of a more bitter emotion. It slapped him in the face and he felt even worse for thinking he was the only one who was being rend apart by this horrible accident.

"Yes… he is… but Eric… I… I can't stay here alone anymore. It's so deadly quiet… and I don't want to leave but…" He heard Horatio let out a shuddering breath and Eric knew that type of sigh. Horatio was trying not to cry. Eric nodded and then realized that Horatio couldn't see him nodding nor could he hear his brain rattle so he cleared his throat.

"I'll hang out with you… but… I'm gonna be a minute. Gotta take a taxi to the lab and get my car. I'll see you in about an hour or so." Eric replied, trying to remain as calm as he could. He had learned long ago that freaking out would do him no good in this situation. So, he clicked on his bedside lamp.

"… thank you…" Horatio muttered quietly and Eric heard the phone click as Horatio hung up. Eric nodded and crawled out of bed, his limbs so weary that it was hard to move them. He knew he shouldn't drive in a condition like this, so he pulled out a pair of black jeans, a long sleeved white shirt, a short sleeved black shirt, clean underwear, and a pair of socks. He made his way to his small bathroom and showered, letting the warm water wake him up as well as wash some of the superficial pain off of his body. The water relaxed his tense muscles and he smiled slightly. He scrubbed his entire body and decided to shave before he left as well. Despite everything, he still felt commanded to keep up appearances. He shaved himself as quickly as he could and toweled off his face before picking up his phone and calling a taxi cab service.

He arrived at the lab half an hour later and sighed in frustration at the total idiocy of the cab drivers. He climbed into his own car, idly wondering how the investigation was going, before turning the key in the ignition and heading towards the hospital Speedle was at. He drove as fast as he could while breaking several traffic laws but thankfully, not getting caught. It was a quarter past one in the morning when he made it to the hospital. Horatio was still outside, probably waiting for Eric as the younger man walked up to the doors.

Horatio caught the scent of sugar and toasted vanilla as Eric walked up to him. His dark hair was still slightly damp from his shower and Horatio allowed himself a very small smile. Dark eyes met paler ones; an inscrutable look was on his face and Eric gestured for Horatio to lead on. They walked through the glass double doors and towards the elevator.

"Any updates?" Eric asked, once they were safely alone in the elevator. Horatio was looking at the doors, staring at them as they held the answers to the universes deepest questions and solemnly shook his head. Eric nodded, not saying anything. Horatio wished he knew something… wished he could tell Eric something to ease his troubled mind. But Horatio knew nothing… they wouldn't let him into Speed's room. They told him that the first few hours were critical and that if he survived the night, he would pull out okay. He realized he should tell Eric that. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, leading Eric and Horatio into the almost deserted corridors in the intensive care unit. The silence was unbearable and the underlying scent of medicine, death, and decay added a macabre element to the whole scene. A cold shiver ran down Horatio's spine.

"They told me that if he makes it through the night he should pull out of it okay." Horatio said, his voice sounding harshly loud in the corridors. Though they were mostly quiet, thousands of sounds made what sounded like a strange background track. Hospital monitors beeping and other things. The telltale sound of a keyboard clacking echoed in the hall as a nurse input information for something. There was also a steady murmur of low voices coming from separate rooms. It wasn't uncommon. Eric and Horatio made their way to the lobby to sit and talk. There was no one else there when they arrived, which wasn't all that surprising considering the late hour. Horatio sunk into a chair and Eric sat down across from him and they began their vigil.

"He's going to make it." Eric said after several minutes of an unbearable, mournful silence. Horatio looked up from the ground, looking straight into Eric's eyes. Eric nodded. Horatio just looked back down, not knowing what to believe. He did, however, know that Eric had only said that to comfort himself. Horatio could understand how the younger man was feeling though, he wanted to say a thousand things that would make his younger colleague feel better, but the words were lost on his lips every time he tried to get them out. Eric was staring off into space now, apparently done trying to convince Horatio. He hadn't tried very hard, but the words had sounded false even to his own ears.

Eric couldn't help but think that maybe Speed's condition would get better, though. He couldn't help but hope that, because Speed, despite everything, was his best friend. But another, even more painful thing nagged at his mind. What if… he thought Speed comes out alive but not the same. What if he has amnesia? What if he's paralyzed? He'd hate not being able to do the things he loved… would death be a kinder fate…? Eric mused to himself as the wall mounted clock ticked the hours away.

Calleigh Duquesne and Yelina Salas walked into the hospital. Calleigh was holding a file folder slightly away from her chest as though it held a strain of the black plague. The two of them walked to the elevator. The metal doors opened as Calleigh pressed the button going up. They both entered the elevator and stood side by side as the elevator went up. The elevator music was chiming cheerfully.

"I can't believe it. " Calleigh muttered as the doors slid open and the two women exited the elevator. They walked to the desk. The nurse on shift looked mildly bored and Calleigh gave her a slight sympathetic smile.

"Excuse me… can we get Timothy Speedle's room number, please?" Yelina asked. The nurse looked at her sheet and shook her head.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but he's not allowed to have visitors right now. You can wait down in the waiting room. It's right down the hall… "She said, pointing down the hall. Calleigh nodded her thanks as did Yelina and they started down the hall.

"If Eric and Horatio are still here, that's where they'll be." Calleigh said to Yelina. Yelina nodded and they reached the lobby. Horatio was sitting in the chair and Eric was sitting on his haunches in front of Horatio. Horatio was bent down slightly to hear what Eric was saying.

"Hey, boys!" Yelina said in a fake cheery voice. Horatio looked up and Eric started like something had terrified him. Calleigh sat down next to Horatio and dropped the folder on his lap.

"Look at this! LOOK!" She said, her voice getting angrier and angrier. Horatio opened up the folder and his eyes skimmed over the contents. His eyes got wider and then his eyes narrowed as a wave of anger crashed through his body. He threw the folder down on the ground and growled slightly.

Eric looked up at Yelina and then to Horatio.

"What's going on?" Eric asked. Horatio growled once more.

"Apparently, there was some tampering going on with Speed's car. There was a bomb in the car. It was set up weird though, it was set to go off at a certain time but only if he turned. But it was set to go off only if he turned… which was strange, in itself. But also, just in case the bomb wasn't bad enough… his break lines were cut as well." Yelina said, sitting in the chair next to Calleigh. Horatio sighed angrily.

"I'm going to get this bastard… I swear to god I will. Eric… with me. Yelina, Calleigh… you two go to Speedle's house. Hack his computer… I don't care. Find if you can find ANYONE who might have had a grudge against him."