A/N: I do really like Jacob, sorry if it came off that I don't... looking back, I can see how you got that, iamdragonrider. So other people probably did as well. Anyway, I added in more Jacob to this chapter. The next one will be the last one - I'm getting as tired of them being stuck together as they are!

Ch 9: Kids on Saturday

"Okay, Teal'c, you get the idea."

"I have not seen Bert and Ernie yet, Daniel Jackson."

"Teal'c, come on, that song's driving me nuts."

"Is that Bert or Ernie?"

"What? No, that's Elmo."

"I see."

"This show is for very, very small children. Besides, you're going to wake up Jack and Sam."

"I believe it is you who will awaken them, Daniel Jackson. With your objections to my choice of programming. I merely wish to see these puppets O'Neill spoke of, then I assure you we will go have breakfast."

"God, I thought I was just having a really weird dream," Sam whispered to herself as she realized that she wasn't dreaming - she actually was in one of the VIP rooms in bed with her CO breathing down her neck as their other two teammates watched Sesame Street and argued in the loudest whispering she'd ever heard.

Her life was so weird.

She cracked an eye open without lifting her head, still very tired from being up late the night before, and nearly laughed out loud at the sight of Teal'c and Daniel. In order not to wake them, apparently, they were sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, as close to the television as they could get. Teal'c was sitting cross-legged as usual, but Daniel was stretched out on his stomach on the floor. Their joint and still faintly blue-tinted hands were on the floor next to Teal'c's knee. Both of them had big cereal bowls in front of them on the floor. They were the most overgrown kids Sam could have possibly imagined.

"Don't move or they'll figure out you're awake," Jack whispered in her ear. She nodded slightly, holding her breath for a moment, although she didn't see how Daniel and Teal'c could notice if they were awake or not when Jack had been successfully fooling her into thinking he was still asleep.

"I'm not awake so I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel," she whispered back, giving in to the overwhelming temptation to go back to sleep.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jacob Carter spotted Dr. Fraiser sitting by herself in the commissary, reading through some sort of chart and nursing a cup of coffee. Knowing better than to try to convince Selmak that a cup of coffee would really hit the spot right about now (they'd had some just last night, after all), Jacob got himself some breakfast and chose orange juice instead.

"Good morning, Dr. Fraiser. Would you mind some company?"

She looked up at him in surprise and smiled, waving her hand at the empty table. "Please, be my guest, General."

"Jacob."

"Right, sorry." She raised an eyebrow at his tray, which was nearly as full as Teal'c's usually was, and asked, "Hungry?"

"I know, it looks a bit much but the Tok'ra don't do food very well, so whenever I'm here I kind of… well, let's just say I wouldn't be eating like this if I wasn't certain Selmak will keep me from a heart attack."

"I guess you do have a pretty good personal physician at your disposal."

"Yeah," Jacob agreed, chuckling. "Well, what's on the schedule for today?"

"Oh, I don't know. It's Saturday, I'm going to order SG-1 to take the day completely off. They were trying to convince me earlier to let them go home but General Hammond thinks that's just a recipe for disaster - and I happen to agree with him there. But that doesn't mean they have to spend the weekend working. They need a chance to de-stress a little I think. And so do the rest of the scientists… they've all been working in shifts basically around the clock trying to figure this thing out."

"They all seem like they're doing pretty well to me. SG-1 I mean."

"Under the circumstances, definitely," Janet agreed rapidly. "In a way I feel really lucky that it was SG-1 who got stuck… if any of the other teams had been out there, they'd have been at each other's throats days ago, I'm afraid. Luckily SG-1 is about as tight-knit a group as it's possible to be, so…"

"Yeah, nice choice of words."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jacob, I wasn't thinking about… well, I mean… how's everything going with you and Sam?"

"And Jack?" Jacob added. "Since you can't exactly have one without the other at the moment. Actually, it's okay. I ran into them in here last night and we sort of cleared the air and all. I'm supposed to play chess with Jack later today."

"That sounds good. It'll keep him occupied for a while at least… Wait a minute, were they in here eating cake? In the middle of the night?"

"Maybe… did I just get them into trouble?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I guess I can let it go under the circumstances but that man knows he's supposed to be cutting back on the midnight snacks. Especially cake. And I'm guessing there was ice cream as well?"

"Yeah."

"Big needles await him in his near future. I swear, one of these days that man's metabolism is going to catch up to his age and I'll be right there to say 'I told you so…'" she trailed off as Daniel and Teal'c entered, scowling at the automatic laughter and whispers that followed their arrival anywhere.

They spotted Janet quickly and hurried over to them. "Janet, remember when you said if we were still stuck like this on the weekend we could go home?" Daniel asked quickly with a big grin.

Janet smiled benignly and said, "Very clearly, Daniel. I remember telling you I'd think about it. Why don't you go get yourselves something to eat and join us for breakfast?"

Daniel looked like he very much wanted to say something like 'no thanks, I'd rather argue belligerently with you until you give in to make me shut up and go away.' But he didn't. He and Teal'c went to get their breakfasts, Janet watching them go and shaking her head with a slightly exasperated, fond smile on her face.

"Must be a lot like watching four children," Jacob commented, looking at Janet thoughtfully.

"Oh, you can say that again," Janet agreed readily. "They just feed off of each other sometimes, you know, like if the Colonel's being particularly antsy the rest of them pick up on it and I just can't get them to leave me alone…" she sighed. "I just want them all back to normal. For all our sakes."

"I'm sure we'll figure something out soon," Jacob said as Daniel and Teal'c sat down with them at the table, each with a full tray.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c cautioned when Daniel poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I'm not going cold turkey, Teal'c, I'm just… reducing my intake a little."

"Cold turkey? I have never heard of using cold turkey as a substitute for coffee."

"It's just a saying. It means to give up something altogether. Like when we were addicted to the light thing, and turning it off all at once made people, you know, die… but we could handle it if we did it gradually."

"I see," Teal'c said, turning his attention to the other two people at the table. "Dr. Fraiser. Jacob. How are your mornings progressing?"

Janet smiled at Teal'c and said, "If you're about to tell me you've finally managed to get Daniel Jackson to lay off the coffee, I may have to put you up for an award, Teal'c."

"No reward is necessary, Dr. Fraiser. And I fear it is a hopeless case anyway."

"Well, Teal'c, Daniel was right about what he just said… if you tried to make him give it up all together… well, let's just say I'd hate to be stuck to the man while he went through that kind of withdrawal."

"Excellent point," Teal'c conceded.

"So… where are Jack and Sam?"

"They're still in bed," Daniel answered off-handedly, clumsily attempting to butter his waffles with one hand.

Jacob couldn't help the little flare of anger at the innocent remark. Daniel looked up at Janet, who was giving him that 'Try a bit harder not to put your foot in it next time, won't you?' look, and at Jacob who had that slightly unfocused look he got when he was having an internal conversation with Selmak.

"I just meant…" he started apologetically.

"I know, Danny," Jacob finally said. "I spent a long time with them last night and… I understand, I really do. I even feel sort of sorry for them. It's just… weird."

Teal'c transferred half a bagel to his mouth at once and nodded. "Indeed."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack awoke with a start. He awoke with a start quite frequently, when he was sleeping alone. Drenched in sweat, his heart racing dangerously. Nightmares. Despite how it was usually portrayed on the big and small screens, when he awoke with a start, it was more of a feeling and maybe a slight muscle spasm. He didn't go bolting upright in bed, jerking and looking around like a madman. He just… woke up.

This time, though, he did startle himself awake, but it was with a laugh rather than a fright. He had been having the weirdest dream… they gated to a planet of what could only be called Smurfs. The Smurfs started worshipping Teal'c, he totally let it go to his head…

He opened his eyes and looked around the room for Teal'c and Daniel, intent on blaming them for his bizarre dream, influencing him by watching Sesame Street in the wee morning hours like small children… but they weren't there.

"All alone in the VIP suite, just you and me, huh Carter," he said in his head, not wanting to risk waking her up by saying it out loud. He could tell by her breathing that she was in deep sleep.

He couldn't help but dwell on that a little bit. Sam Carter was quite comfortably asleep in his arms. Even after several consecutive nights of this, he still found it a little hard to believe when he woke up. The fact that she didn't have a choice in the matter and that Hammond was only permitting it because so far the only solution anybody had come up with for separating them involved some fancy laser and months of plastic surgery to patch up the damage it would cause were all easy things to conveniently forget about when he woke up to find her there, still asleep, snuggled perfectly into him.

He knew, of course, that she didn't have a whole lot of other places she could be, but there was a little bit of space she could have put between them had she really wanted to. He wasn't sure how to explain it, but there was a definite difference in the way she rested her weight back into him that he'd discovered that first morning. Sam Carter was a total cuddler. She'd probably kill him if he ever said it out loud, and there was always the chance nobody would believe him anyway. Then he'd be opening himself up for accusations as well, although he was fairly certain nobody would take her seriously if she told people he was quite the cuddler himself.

Feeling faintly sickened with his own rather sappy behavior, but indulging himself nonetheless, he shifted slightly so that he could prop his head up on his free hand, tilt his neck at a not-too-uncomfortable angle, and just… look. He hadn't seen as much of her face these days as he was used to, and he missed it. A big part of that was the eyes, of course, which were currently closed, but still.

There was something wonderfully enigmatic about watching somebody sleep, especially for a man whose own sleep was often haunted. He took comfort from watching the peaceful sleeping of others -- he had spent so much time hovering in Charlie's doorway watching the even rise and fall of his little chest that Sarah had joked that he should get them bunk beds, move in with him, and be done with it.

He monitored Daniel and Carter while they slept off-world. It was his job then, and he took it very seriously. It wouldn't do, in those circumstances, to get lost in thought watching a snoozing teammate, but the proximity, and the knowledge that he was responsible for guarding their sleep, was enough.

Sam pushed back into him further. He got the feeling if she'd been turned the other way she'd be burrowing into his chest. Her movement let him see her face better, and he suddenly felt very sneaky. Like he was getting a rare glimpse of something top-secret: Carter sleeping. Dead-to-the-world, late-in-the-morning sleeping. There was a kind of heady rush of excitement in the idea that he was stealing something here, stealing a moment, but that due to their current bizarre circumstances, there couldn't be any consequences for it.

The fleeting feeling of danger evaporated when her hand, which had been tucked under her chin, settled on his arm, curling gently around his forearm just below his elbow. Her thumb started stroking the skin there, lazily, and he knew she was still dead-asleep or she would've been able to feel him looking at her by now, but he still took it as an invitation. Hammond might not appreciate the little liberty he was taking here, but Sam wouldn't mind.

Then she went and shocked him to death by letting out a, "Jack," that sounded more like a sigh than anything else. It wasn't the first time she'd startled him, calling him by his first name in a state of semi-consciousness, but this time she wasn't full of drugs and badly concussed. And she knew he was there. On some level, at least. He doubted Carter's mind ever shut itself off so completely that she'd forget, even in really deep sleep, that they'd been stuck together for nearly a week.

His neck was really starting to hurt, so he finally lay his head back on the pillow, wincing when his neck twinged again, and tried to snake his free arm back under her without jostling too much. She mumbled something about magnets and shifted again, so he hadn't quite pulled it off.

Within ten minutes, she had woken up slowly. "Sorry," he apologized when he knew she was awake - the hand stroking his arm stopped abruptly and curled itself away carefully.

"For what?"

"I woke you up."

"Daniel and Teal'c did it first… they're gone?"

"Yeah."

"Must be getting late."

Jack's stomach chose that moment to growl rather loudly.

"Very late," Sam added with a laugh.

He wondered what she'd do if he asked her about the 'Jack' remark, but decided it might be pushing it a bit. Like basically everything else between them, including the very obvious evidence that he'd been up (pun definitely intended, he thought dryly) for a while now, it was probably best if for the time being it went unmentioned. As always. For now it just had to be enough that it was there.

That was a rather depressing thought for a lazy Saturday morning, though. He took a long, slow whiff of her hair and felt better, even though she laughed at him for doing it.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Janet, you promised we could go home today, remember?" Sam asked as soon as she and Jack entered the commissary and spotted the group at their table.

Janet and Jacob laughed at her statement for some reason.

"What?" Jack and Sam asked.

"As I already reminded Daniel, I did not promise you could go home today. I promised you I'd think about it. And I'm sorry, but General Hammond agrees that it's not a good idea. But you do have the day off, all day."

"But…" Jack started.

"No buts, Colonel. And breakfast is almost over so if you'd like some yourself I suggest you go get your butts in line."

"Yes, ma'am," Jack mumbled, waving a hand towards the serving line. "After you, Major Carter," he said dramatically, as though they really had a choice in the matter.

They piled food onto one tray, for themselves mainly but correctly assuming Daniel and Teal'c would be ready for seconds. Sitting down carefully as always, Jack slid a new plate of waffles over to Daniel, and Sam refilled his coffee as she filled her own mug and Jack's as well. Teal'c swapped the plate Sam offered him for the salt and pepper, which she then gave to Jack for his eggs and hash browns. Daniel handed Sam the ketchup and started filling every third hole of his waffle with syrup.

Jacob watched them all preparing their breakfasts a bit like an assembly line, and smiled and shook his head, thinking about what Janet had said about them earlier. She had obviously been completely correct.

Daniel was trying unsuccessfully to cut his waffles with the side of his fork. "Daniel?" Sam finally offered, the only one of the four of them to have both hands available to use. She had quickly become responsible for cutting all their food when they dined alone, but she wasn't sure if Daniel would want her to do it in front of everyone else. He hesitated only a moment before sliding the plate back to her. While she cut up the waffles, Jack's hand snuck under her arm for one of the pieces of bacon on the plate farthest away from him on their tray.

"I thought that was for Teal'c," she commented.

"Why?"

"Sir… last time you ate bacon you wiped the grease on my shirt when you thought I wasn't paying attention and I had to smell it the rest of the day."

"Yeah, and the rest of us had to try and figure out why Sam smelled like bacon," Daniel agreed, adding, "Thanks, Sam," when she slid his plate back over to him.

"Well, I won't do that this time then," he said with a shrug.

Janet and Jacob watched SG-1 in continued amusement as Sam and Teal'c looked at each other, Teal'c nodded, and took half the bacon off the plate, eating it steadily even though Jack practically whined, "Teal'c!"

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Janet decided to stop by SG-1's quarters once more before taking her own half-day off. She found the guard posted outside their door leaning against the wall and laughing his ass off.

"Sergeant?" she asked.

At the loud chorus of "Ohhhhhhhhhh!"s that suddenly travelled through the door, emanating from all four members of SG-1, she smiled, wondering what they were up to now.

"Sam's cheating again!"

"No I'm not!"

"I believe you are, Major Carter."

"Teal'c, we're not cheating!" Jack argued. "One hand, look."

"Do not look, Daniel Jackson. She will shoot you again while you are distracted."

"Nice one, Carter!"

"What the hell are they doing in there?" Janet asked the guard.

"I don't know, it sounded like they were moving a bunch of stuff around earlier," the guard told her.

Fraiser knocked and entered when they all yelled, "Come in!"

As she entered, she had to laugh. They'd hooked up a Playstation, despite the fact that Sam was the only one who could actually use a controller properly. To get around that minor difficulty, they were playing on teams, Sam and Jack against Teal'c and Daniel, obviously. Daniel and Teal'c were sitting in front of the couch, on the floor, side by side with the remote held between them. Daniel was controlling the directional movement and Teal'c had all the buttons. Jack and Sam were sitting on the couch behind them.

Babysitting little kids was right, Janet thought. "Glad to see you're taking your day off seriously, even if this wasn't exactly what I had in mind," she commented, joining them.

"Hey, doc, want to play?"

"No thanks, Colonel. I'm not very good at video games."

"Doesn't stop Daniel."

"Hey!" Daniel objected.

"Well… I just wanted to see if you guys needed anything else before I go home for the day."

"Take us with you?" Sam asked hopefully.

They were still playing the game. She blew something up that made Teal'c say, "Excellent shot, Major Carter. But now prepare to die."

"Sorry, Sam. No can do. I'll be back tomorrow and we'll keep working."

"Say hi to Cassie for us," Jack called absently as Janet got up to leave.

They went back to their game. Janet passed Jacob in the hall and said, "Your turn. Hammond pays overtime for babysitting that lot."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not enough," Jacob chuckled. "Have a good weekend, Dr. Fraiser."

"You too."

Jacob watched them play the video game for a while, but it wasn't exactly his thing. "This is really frustrating," Jack finally said.

"You've been cheating the whole time, what are you complaining about?" Daniel asked.

"Fine, you and Teal'c play against each other. Jake and I are going to play chess." He handed Daniel the controller he and Sam had been using, and Daniel looked at him incredulously.

"How can we play against each other with one hand? It didn't work too well when we tried it before."

"Use your feet?" Sam suggested as they moved over to the table and Jacob began setting up the chess board.

An hour and a half later, Jacob and Jack were still playing, both of them very good at the game. Sam was playing Jack's Gameboy, quickly finding it impossible to watch the chess match without offering her own suggestions.

"This is actually kind of fun," she admitted when Daniel offered to fetch her a book or something from her quarters.

"Oh no. She's gone to the dark side, Teal'c!" Daniel wailed dramatically, throwing his free arm around Teal'c and acting like the world was coming to an end because his brainiac friend had just said she'd rather play a handheld video game than read or work.

"Mwahahaha," Jack laughed evilly.

Jacob finally decided on a move and claimed one of Jack's pawns with a bishop.

Jack immediately picked up his knight and started to move it. Sam, knowing her father's chess strategies better than Jack did, of course, as her father had taught her to play in the first place, shifted on Jack's lap and cleared her throat quietly.

Jack appeared to be considering his move for a few seconds, then set the piece back down where it had been and moved his rook instead.

"Hey, you helped him!" Jacob objected.

"Hmm, what Dad?" Sam asked absently, pretending to be so thoroughly engrossed in the Gameboy that she had no idea what her father was talking about.

Jack won that game within the next two moves, but offered Jacob a rematch. After so many years, SG-1 knew each other's chess games so well that it was always interesting to have someone new to play with.

Daniel and Teal'c started a movie, and Sam eventually lost interest in the Gameboy in favor of watching it. They truly were taking the day off, Jack realized at one point as he surveyed the room while waiting for Jacob to take his turn.

They were all so relaxed, as a matter of fact, that Sam and Daniel both went, "Aaaaaaaihhhhhhh!" when Thor materialized in the middle of the room.

"Greetings," he said.

"Thor, buddy! Sorry about the um, screaming, you kind of surprised us there," Jack said quickly, nudging Sam.

"Sorry, Thor," she said quickly. "You just took us by surprise. How did you know where we were?"

"I contacted General Hammond from my ship before beaming myself down. He should be here…"

"Now," Hammond said, entering the usual way, through the door. Slightly less dramatic than Thor's entrances, but it still worked.

"How's Tessa?" Jack asked him, remembering that he'd been watching his granddaughter.

"She's fine - managed to get her away from Kayla before she could get sick too. Kayla's doing a lot better today too."

"That's good to hear."

"Are these your offspring, General Hammond?" Thor asked, genuinely curious.

"Grandchildren," Hammond explained.

"Offspring of offspring," Daniel translated.

"I see. Interesting," Thor said. "I apologize for the delay in coming to your assistance. I was very far away, and the message took some time to reach me. I also took the liberty of making a stop along the way to inform one of our mutual allies of your condition."

"Who?" All of SG-1 asked at once.

"Can you think of no one who might be especially adept at helping someone afflicted by a natural substance found in the forest?" Thor asked.

"The Nox!" Sam exclaimed suddenly.

"Correct, Major Carter."

"So… I'm hoping you came all this way because you've got good news?" Jack asked.

"I bring more than good news, O'Neill. I believe I have brought you a solution to your rather unusual and, if I may add, somewhat amusing problem. Come with me. With any luck, we will have you all separated in no time."