Whisper To Me, Make Me Whole
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. I'd be rich. JK Rowling owns them...she's rich.
Note: All hail the bunnies. Maybe they'll stop bouncing on my head now.
I'm not an only child but I may as well be.
I've got six brothers and no sisters. Also I'm the odd one out which doesn't help matters. Bill and Charlie were always close growing up and nobody can deny the connection between Fred and George. They may as well just be one person. Even Percy and Ron have a grudgingly protective...thing going. So where's that leave me?
Stuck with a book and the voices in my head.
No.
Not voices.
Voice.
Just one.
It's stained with evil and deception and it could kill me. But it's real and it's mine. In a huge family nothing is mine and nothing ever seems very real when nobody notices you unless you're bleeding at their feet. He notices though and he listens, if just for a while.
I should throw it away and forget I had it. Forget that I had acquired it back from Mr. Malfoy when the angry man had dropped it. Forget the soft calm voice that swept up from its pages to make me feel like I was really there.
Tom makes me real...and I...I think I make him real too. I can give him life and he can make me live. But that can't be cause he's not what he appears to be. So I'll never feel his comforting arms around me and be able to drift off into his soft kisses. It can't happen and I know it. I understand.
But, somehow, the comfort of the lie is sweet and it sustains me. It keeps me company when it's dark and there's nobody around. His presence reminds me that there's always somebody there, no matter how many times I shut him away. He'll never leave and though I sometimes wish I never got involved I think I need him with me. I need him to be there to hear me when I scream in frustration.
Whisper for me Tom and let me know I'm real to you...only you. Let me look beyond what I know to be true and let me live the contradiction. I want to be real and live in a lie. Lie to me and tell me it's not real, but somehow in all the lies I am. I am real.
He won't leave me in the silence no matter what happens. If I hate him or love him he remains. The book is my blood and my life drains from its pages til we are balanced...and I am whole.