The Kitten Squisher

A/N: Oh, just to clarify, yes, Lily and James are in the same year. The thing of it is, Lily is sort of like a transfer student, so she's 14 and James is 14 (I decided to put them in fourth year due to popular demand (which is two by the way/).). but since she hadn't gone to Hogwarts for her 1-3 years she still needed to be sorted, so they just sorted her when she was 14 instead of being 11. And in the last A/N when I said "Lily's first year" I mean her "first year at Hogwarts" which will actually be as a 4th year student… Sorry if that is confusing anybody. The point of it all is that yes, James and Lily are the same age and in the same year. Otherwise the story would be very… weird.

Disclaimer: Any recognizable material does not belong to me.

The Kitten Squisher…

Lily let out a heavy sigh as she stepped out of the shower stall, ringing her thick red hair dry with her hands, a soft white towel wrapped around her body. When she sniffed at a lock, her nose wrinkled in distaste. She had lathered, rinsed and repeated eight times that night already, and her hair still stubbornly clung a few faint traces of lake water and squid. Great. And to think her mother swore on L'Oreal… but then her mother had never been dragged into a lake and practically drowned by a giant squid. Or at least she hoped not.

"Hey, Dezzy." Lily said as she crashed on her bed, dressed in an oversized black T-shirt and very short, cotton blue shorts. "What's up, little kitty?"

The little black kitten uncurled itself from the feather pillow it was resting on, lifting her head lazily and cracking open her bright green eyes. Recognizing Lily, Dezzy stretched her delicate form and yawned, her little pink tongue curling over delicate, little white teeth, and then stumbled across the bed to see her 'mother'. The kitten's bright green eyes were the same color as Lily's; apparently that's what made them such a striking pair.

It had been Lily's muggle uncle who had bought her the adorable kitten a few weeks before his favorite niece set off for Hogwarts, thinking that a black cat would be the most proper familiar for his darling little "firecracker" (her nickname by him).

Lily smiled wryly. Once her uncle was convinced that she was, in fact, a witch and really could do magic, he had made a point of being very supportive of her… almost overly supportive in fact. But she was still grateful for it. She was so grateful, in fact, that she hadn't had the heart to tell him that none of her other witch friends owned black cats. It was a simple stereotype that, in fact, was often avoided in the magical world. But regardless, she had accepted the kitten loving and named her Des Demona, or Dezzy for short.

"Mew."

Lily smiled and held out her little finger for her kitten to suck on. "How was your day, then?" She asked, regarding the black kitten that was thoughtlessly chewing on her finger. "Better than mine I hope."

The kitten lifted a petite paw and put it up on to rest on the back of Lily's hand, making the girl smile at the tender skin on hers.

"You want to go play for a bit?" Lily asked Dezzy who was now batting playfully at her finger. She took that as a yes. "Ok then, let's go." Lily said, tiredly, scooping up the playful kitten and heading down to the common room.

Someone was shaking him… shaking him kind of hard...

James frowned in his sleep, trying to bury his face deeper into the goose feather pillow. It could not have been morning already. He had only gone to sleep a second ago.

Sirius's voice filtered through his ear, words like "up" and "lazy ass", and "stupid". Ignoring them, James burrowed his head even deeper into pillow. He could deal with being a 'stupid lazy ass' and he could deal with the possibility of suffocating in goose feathers too, just so long as he didn't have to wake up yet. And then finally the word "prank" registered in his half-awakened brain. And it was enough o wake him up up.

Groaning tiredly, James rolled over in his comforter, till his legs were hanging over the edge of his four-poster bed. Gradually he sat up, black hair even messier than usual, his expression groggy and his hazel eyes filmed over. It was one o'clock in the morning and he was still half asleep. It was because of this that he didn't even bother to pull a shirt on over his sweat pants. Out of habit he ruffled his messy black hair and pulled his arms over his head to stretch as he let out a long yawn. His toned, muscled body moved slowly, the abs in his flat stomach becoming very apparent.

"What are we doing?" He asked lazily as he pulled on his glasses, only able to find them because of the dim light glowing at the tip of Sirius's wand.

"Got the dung bombs." Sirius said, smiling as he held up his hand. James squinted through the dim light till he saw the three brown, marble-sized balls fitted snugly into the gaps between Sirius's fingers. "Want to come along?"

"'Course." James said, letting loose another thick yawn as he stood up off the bed. "I'll get the cloak, you get Remus and Peter?"

"Right."

James dug slowly through the trunk at the foot of his bed, while Sirius's glowing wand moved a few beds over. Soon Remus and Peter would be awake and the Marauders would set off the pull their first prank of the year. James searched until his fingers brushed against the smooth, cool silk. Grinning, he lifted it out of the trunk and took a moment just to hold it in his hands. The invisibility cloak felt like water in his palms, and he found that he was suddenly aching to try it on again. He had missed it since last year.

"'Oy, James, we're ready." Came a voice.

"Right, coming."

The common room was very dark. The fire, which had been roaring only a few hours ago, was now a small, orange light lapping at charred and ember-infested log. Seeing as how the Marauders had to go down the narrow staircase single file, they couldn't put on the cloak until they had reached the base of the stairs. They then decided to wait to put it on until after they had left the Gryffindor tower, on the off chance that someone should follow them out of the boy's dorm and then see them disappear. Wouldn't that be an easy one to explain.

It was as James and Sirius were walking across the room with Peter and Remus moving softly behind them, smiling and joking quietly to each other, that James tripped over something. And that something gave a small, strangled yelp.

James jumped about a foot. "What the-"

"Hey!" An angry voice called out behind them. James and Sirius whirled around. "That's my cat!"

Blinking briefly, James looked down at the dazed kitten at his feet, which blinked confusedly and shook its head once. "Huh." James said, staring down at it, his expression one of mild interest. As if to say 'well would you look at that?'

"Huh?" The shadow of a girl echoed from the other side of the room. "Huh! You just squished on my kitten and all you have to say about it is 'huh?'!"

James looked up at the girl, squinting at her through the darkness. All he could make out was a head of dark red hair, but he ran his fingers through his own anyway. "Squished on your kitten?" He asked, a tone of amusement in his voice.

"Not proper grammar, you know." Sirius said dauntingly to the shadowy figure, putting his hand on James's shoulder as a signal for them to leave. "C'mon mate, let's go."

But just as James as turning around, the girl moved into the firelight and he instantly recognized her. "Hey…" he said slowly, pointing a finger at her while he tried to frown thoughtfully, but the smirk on his lips gave him away. "Your that new girl who fell into the lake."

Icy green eyes snapped up to meet his, the same green eyes that had leveled him in the Great Hall. "And you're the idiot who thought the Sirius constellation was shaped like a box."

James scowled as a muffled laughter came from behind him. Turning, he saw Remus standing in the corner with a hand pressed over his mouth, trying and failing to keep himself from laughing. Deciding to ignore his friend, James turned around and scooped up the still dazed black kitten off the floor. "Here's your cat." He said casually as he one handedly extended it towards her, holding it by the skin on the back of its neck.

"Mew!"

"You jerk!" The girl snapped, her almond shaped eyes widening as she snatching the alarmed kitten from his hand and held it protectively to her chest. "You can't pick up an kitten like that!"

James stared blankly at the girl before turning to give a slow and rather incredulous look at Sirius. "Is she serious?"

In all his life, James would never have dreamed that a girl would have yelled at him about for picking up a kitten the 'wrong way'. He hadn't even known there had been a right way. He had never held a kitten. Sure he expected to be yelled at for playing pranks, stealing girlfriends, and the occasional cold-hearted remark but… picking up a kitten? Most girls would have sooner yelled at the kitten for getting in his way than shout at him for returning it to them.

Sirius only shrugged while James blinked bewilderedly and turned back to the girl. "I'm James." He said after a while, thinking that maybe she just didn't know who he was. "You know… James Potter?"

Lily scowled. "And?"

James blinked again. It appeared that this time he was entering shock. Remus noticed it first.

"Sirius…" The dark haired boy turned around to look at his friend. "Erm - maybe we should… move him." Remus said, nodding his head meaningfully at James's rock-hard body. It was then that Sirius saw the way his friend's hazel eyes were widening in shock… and growing wider by the second. James's face was a stunned expression in the firelight. Sirius recognized that expression.

"Well, time to go!" Sirius said hastily, grabbing James by the shoulders and starting to haul him out of the common room house, not caring how rough he was being. He couldn't afford to have another episode like the one in Hogsmead.

"W-wait, wait!" James said suddenly, yanking himself out of Sirius's grip and stumbling back to the girl. "You don't know who I am?" he asked incredulously, still staring at her with an amazed expression.

"No." Lily said, her face twisting in what could have only been absolute disgust. "Why should I know? I only got here tonight!"

"Yeah, but you've been here for like, six hours!" James shouted.

"Five and a half, actually." Was Lily's cold response. "And so far hating every second of it."

"But that's a long time!" James said, apparently deciding to ignore her second remark. "You should have heard about me by now! I mean, don't you live in the girls' dorm?" He demanded, his voice indignant.

"James," Sirius started, his tone impatient. "We've got to get going if we want to-"

"Of course I live in the girls' dorm! Where else would I live?"

"Yeah, well I know for a fact that those girls mention my name at least seven times an hour! If you were a normal girl you should have already heard about me!"

"James-"

"You really are a stupid jerk!"

"We really should-"

"Well seeing as how I've never been called a 'stupid jerk' by anyone else before, clearly you're not normal!"

"Look, mate, we have to-"

"Oh I'm sure they've called you that before! You're ego's just so big that its stuffed up your ears!"

"Hey, now-" James took a step back at the advancing Lily, Dezzy now clutched tightly in her arms. He wondered vaguely if he should let her know that she was now the one squishing on her own kitten. Its little green eyes were practically bugging out of the sockets.

"And please, I'm not normal?" Lily said, cutting him off. "You don't even know the right way to pick up a cat!"

"That's because there is no wrong way to pick up a cat!" James defended himself, exasperated. "It's not like he's not dead or anything!"

"Prongs, the dung bombs-"

"It's a she!"

"Is that really the point?"

"JAMES!"

Finally Remus laid a hand on Sirius's shoulder, making the now panting other boy jump and whirl around in surprise. "Padfoot, I don't think he's listening to you."

Sirius scowled, "What are you talking about? Sure he's listening to me."

Remus raised an eyebrow and cast a glance over Sirius's shoulder at James and the new girl. "No… I really think he's not…"

"Look, give me that stupid kitten and I'll show you that he's perfectly fine." James said, running his fingers through his hair, though now it was a gesture of exasperation and slight anger rather than to impress the girl in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, right, like I'd ever let you touch Dezzy again!"

"I never did anything wrong to Skezzy!" James cried, clearly frustrated.

"Dezzy!"

"Whatever!"

"First you squished her! Then you practically strangled her! Clearly we do not share common definitions of the word 'wrong'!"

"Yes, clearly!"

Sirius studied his best friend in bewilderment. He had never seen James this worked up, especially over a kitten. But then… maybe it wasn't the kitten… maybe it was the girl. Sirius scowled; no, there was no way James would ever ignore him just because of some girl so it must have been the kitten. …Wait… James was ignoring him because of a kitten? That couldn't be right either. "Well, we'll have to break this up or they'll wake up the entire dorm." Sirius finally said, his tone a little tired. He was getting bored of listening to incessant shouting and being ignored for the first time by his best friend. "Right then," he said, turning to Peter and Remus. "On three. One – two – three!"

"If you'd just listen to me for a second, I'd explain that I- oof!"

Lily's grip loosened on her poor little kitten (who had begun clawing desperately at her arm), her green eyes blanked for a moment with curiosity and surprise as each and ever other member of the Marauders abruptly came flying out of nowhere and dog piled on James, effectively knocking him to the ground. It made her feel like she was watching a super bowl… only with men in robes instead of beefy football uniforms. Imagine… the super bowl with the players dressed in wizarding robes. She could just see Tom Brady, the Patriot's buff quarterback making a rather impressive pass off to a team member only to trip on the hem of his robe and fall flat on his face… She had to hold in a giggle.

There was a muffled cry, which she could only assume was James himself, but Sirius clamped down on the cry with a firm hand, cutting it short. "Sorry about that." He said, giving her a charming smile. "But you see we really must be going now. You know, people to kill, things to booby-trap… things of all sorts. Until next time, then, Tilley was it?"

"Lily."

"Right, Silly."

"Lily."

"Of course."

And so Lily watched, rather stunned as the three boys dragged a struggling jerk out of the portrait hole, the door swinging shut on several muffled screams.

"Mew."

Lily blinked and looked down at Dezzy, who she had completely forgotten about until now. "Oh… right." She said, tapping her kitten on the nose lightly and smiling. "Forgot about you… let's go find ourselves some string."

A/N: Hmm…. I don't know how much I like this story… seems to be rather strained. Oh well its early in this whole thing yet! And the least I have to do is get up to my favorite part of all, which involves James jumping off the astronomy tower trying to get Lily's attention. Needless to say he gets it… ah well, that one won't be coming for a while. Reviewers are my friends! Oh, and Lady Sonora the Black-Rose, I must thank you for your loyalty in dropping me off all these wonderful reviews. You rock!