AN: ...okay, here's chap 4 :)...I decided that this story will only have 5/6 chapters, so there are only either one or two following...I hope I can update somewhen next week :)

chapter 4

She had tried to swallow the tears that were rising up in her, but she had reached a point where she was just too weak to do anything against it. She let them run down her cheeks, she just let go off all her emotions. How could she ever be so stupid? The only man she had ever really loved had offered her a life with him, and she had turned her back on him, had left him, had destroyed everything…she had broken this glass in her hand, the sherds cut deep wounds into her…and now she was supposed to stop the bleeding before she totally bled out. She felt everything drifting away, her hopes, her dreams, her feelings…her soul. It was as if she lost it all, lost it all in just a few moments, and there was only one person who could safe her.

She desperately glanced around the room, now shaking, her wet clothes sticking to her skin, her wet hair hanging into her face…

She stood in the middle of the room, while Grissom had taken seat on the sofa. She didn't know what to do, should she walk over to him? Would he want her to be close to him? Wouldn't he have offered her to take seat if he wanted her near him? He wasn't even looking at her, did he even care that she was still here? She could understand it if he didn't.

But she knew that there was still something that hadn't been said. Something that she hadn't said, and she needed to, she knew that…he needed to know, she needed him to know it.

She took all her courage together and walked over to him. She desperately hoped that he would not send her away, that he would not hustle her away, that he would not push her away from him…

She stopped in front of him, kneeling down. Her hands resting on his knees. He didn't move, didn't speak, didn't react.

She reached up for his cheek, letting her hand rest on it. She softly caressed him with her thumb, hoping that he would look at her, but he didn't.

His eyes were so empty, so cold, lifeless…it sent another river of tears down her cheeks.

If someone had told her a week ago that the man she had been running after like a dog for the last ten years would suddenly open up to her, would tell her what he felt for her, would want to be with her…would do everything she had always prayed for….and that her reaction to it would be running away, hurting him so much that he couldn't even look at her, she wouldn't have believed this person, she would have told this person to stop using drugs…she wouldn't have been able to even imagine something like this.

And now it had happened. And now she was here, kneeling in front of him, her hand on his cheek, the other one on his knee, her eyes searching for his, her soul pleading for forgiveness, her heart praying for his love.

"Your hands are cold.", he said softly, his voice as cold as her body.

She swallowed hard. I deserve to be sent away, send me away, tell me that I destroyed everything, that I deserve nothing better than being alone for the rest of my life…but never say that you don't love me anymore.

He stared at her, his eyes were still empty, dead, like glass…it broke her heart, or what was still left of it.

"Without you there is nothing I could live for.", she said softly, her voice was shaking. "Nothing.", she repeated. "There is nothing else that I want to live for…I love you. You are…what I need…the only one I need. I don't need a good job, I don't need this job. All I ever wanted and needed was you, is you. And, I was too blind to see it. I couldn't believe that…that there would ever be a true chance for us, that it would ever be easy for us…I thought all I would feel would always be pain, I thought you could do nothing else but hurting me. I told myself that you were just telling me what you feel, were just asking me to stay because you wanted to possess me, because you…Gil I was so wrong, I hurt myself more than you ever could…I hurt myself more than anything ever did.", she swallowed some tears. "I love you.", she whispered with her last strength.

She felt as if everything around her was fading to black, as if everything was drifting away from her.

Suddenly his hands were on her shoulders, holding her. And then he dragged her up, dragged her next to him on the sofa. Her hands slipped over his body, she didn't know where they'd go, she didn't care about anything anymore, she felt so weak, incredible weak. She felt his arm dragging her close to him, pressing her against his chest, she felt his hand running through her wet hair, pressing her face into the warm space between his neck and his shoulder. His skin was so warm, his beard tickled on her skin, his breath caressed her…and she slowly breathed against him. She closed her eyes, feeling his heart beating against her, feeling his pulse running…his chest moved under her with every breath he took, his arms were twined around her, heavily resting on her hips, his head leaned against hers.

He was shaking, softly, not much…but he was. She could feel it…and was reminded of how cold she felt. She was freezing, her skin was already burning from the cold.

"I love you too.", he whispered into her ear. She felt her heart beating faster, she felt the butterflies in her stomach, she could feel heat rising up in her. But still there was this fear, this fear that he would want her to leave.

She had no place to go to, she had given it all away, had closed this book of her life here, he was all she had left, the only one who had ever really meant something to her in this previous book, the only one whom she really wanted in the sequel. "Please don't send me away.", she pleaded. "Please don't make me leave, don't send me away."

"I wont.", his hands softly slipped over her back. "I will not send you away Sara.", he tried to calm her down.

They remained in silence for a long time, but this time it didn't feel awkward, it wasn't uncomfortable…holding each other, being close to each other, it didn't feel uncomfortable anymore, for neither of them. It spent them both so much comfort and power.

When Grissom realized that Sara had fallen asleep he slowly stood up, took off her wet clothes and wrapped her into a blanket, then he carried her over to his bedroom, softly lying her down on the mattress.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, softly caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes for a second. "Where am I?", she whispered.

"The bedroom.", he said, standing up.

"And where are you going?"

"I am going to sleep on the sofa…", he said softly.

"Oh.", she sighed a little disappointed.

"You need your sleep. Tomorrow we can talk about everything else. Now sleep Honey, you need to sleep.", he told her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sleep well my Angel."

She didn't hear what he said anymore, she had already drifted away into a deep sleep.

TBC