Prologue - Vive la Revolution

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Disclaimer - Don't own it but Boris is mine. Mwah ha ha!

A/N - Yay new fic! Yes it's another silly one don't expect any deep metaphisical stuff or passionate romances or even a good plot, but this one's quite good, so there. Big thank to Daemon Faerie Queen who beta read this for. And there you go, enjoy!

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"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes."

Boris' beady eyes widened with fascination as he read the mysterious words that spread across the page of the dusty old book. Boris wasn't the reading type but this Karl Marx person had really captured his interest. The little Goblin had been dusting in the huge castle library, a very daunting task when you were only eighteen and a half inches tall, and had bumped into one of the towering shelves, where this certain book had dislodged itself and promptly fell on top of him. Once the swollen lump on his head had gone down a bit and those pesky stars went away he thought he might as well check the damn thing out. Nothing in this world or the next was going to make him climb to the top shelf to put it back so he might as well read it. He was not disappointed.

Boris couldn't believe it. There were so many new ideas coursing round his head, he just had to tell someone. He'd always been marked as a stupid creature along with the rest of his race but, thanks to the book, Boris had now realised that Goblins were only stupid because they had no opportunity to be anything else. Thankfully, Boris had been around a long time and had learned to read a few centuries ago by eavesdropping when his Highness was still in lessons with his younger cousins. Nobody knew this little secret, of course.

And so with a brain full of Marxism and idealism, Boris called a secret meeting among the other Goblins in the castle's darkest wine cellar. A lot more Goblins turned up than he had expected, maybe because he had bribed them with punch and pie...

"So, Does anyvone know vhy ve are here?" he enquired to his audience.

"You said there'd be food." said someone at the back.

"Apart from that." snapped Boris. There was a deadly silence among the crowd. "OK never mind, I'll tell you." he sighed "I have had a revelation. This vorld that ve live in is infected! Infected vith a plague of capitalism! Ve are enslaved by the bourgeoisie!"

"What's a burgeosis?" a Goblin heckled.

"That's not the point!" yelled Boris "The point is that ve have been under the control of a man who cares only for his own vellbeing and his own happiness. Never once has he granted us even the simplest of comforts, ve live in filth vhile he lounges around in luxury! Now tell me! Is that fair?"

There was another uneasy silence until one of the audience raised a grubby paw.

"Yes, you at the back."

"Well, no it's not fair... but that's just the way it is. We don't have a basis for comparison." said the little Goblin reciting the age old slogan of the kingdom.

"But, don't you see? Ve do have a basis for comparison. Ve see him every day! There's thousands of us and if ve band together, ve can achieve anything! Ve can overcome the most powerful of magics! Together ve can all become equvals and live in peace and harmony. The whole Labyrinth can belong to us!"

"But, how do we defeat the King?" shouted someone from the back. "He's all powerful!"

"Ahhh! That's vhere you're wrong!" cried Boris "Vithout his crystals, he is nothing. Ve just need to steal them. Then ve can qvikly dispose of him and take control! Now who's vith me!"

There was yet another silence and they all stared at him blankly. One of the more talkative Goblins raised his hand nervously. "Erm... Do we still get pie?"

Boris sighed "Yes! You can still have pie. After the revolution ve can have all the pie that ve vant!"

"YAYYYYYY!" came an uproarious reply and the Goblins cheered and danced and drank owl wine until they fell over.