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A/N - Hey there. Sorry it's been a while but the writer's block demon had me in an arm lock for a month. I think this is by far the cutest chapter I've ever written and the jokes are pretty good too. So sit back and enjoy!
Review Responses :
dawn1 - Glad you like the pj's. I thought they were great. My cousin had some when he was little and I was so jealous.
Moonjava - Thanks.
hippie99 - Er... cool. Hope you didn't hurt yourself there.
jazzy021 - Well, this won't be a heavy romance, but it will have some cuteness throughout. I'm not sure about the trainee thing. But if you want to know more about the Goblin King's hiring policies please write to:
Jim Henson and Brian Froud's very unusual brains PO Box 13 The Land of Nod SP11 0DZ
Toshihiko1 - Of course you were supposed to make that connection! It's a bloody joke! This is a comedy so therefore there is a "joke" in the title. Do I need to explain it any further? RAAAAAAAAA! (the author apologises for her behaviour at this point and blames it on a very long and hard day)
Kat the Fish - Cool! I hope I got you hooked.
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Sarah stared, aghast, out of her bedroom window. There, lying in a tangle of limbs and branches was her mortal enemy, The Goblin King... in Thunderbirds jammies! Not only that but her was looking at her with a similar expression of horror and panic but what shocked her even more when he gave her a nervous smile and said "Uh... hi."
"...hello." said Sarah feeling very confused. There was a very long and awkward silence before Sarah couldn't take it anymore. "What are you doing here?" she said in what she thought was a defiant voice but it actually sounded like a frightened squeak.
"I got ousted." said Jareth. "Listen, I don't want to trouble you or anything but could you help me down from here...and then lend me some clothes...and some money."
"What? Ousted? What do you mean ousted?" cried Sarah.
"I mean the Goblins had an uprising for some reason and I had to flee my own kingdom but I somehow ended up here instead of my intended hiding place."
"Oh my God!" said Sarah "What are you going to do?"
"Well I'd like to get out of this damn tree." said Jareth angrily.
Fifteen minutes later and the ex-Goblin King was relaxing in the Williams' living
room with a mug of tea that had a picture of Peter Rabbit on it. Sarah watched him
curiously from the doorway. The pyjamas and the mug made him look more like a
little boy than the fearsome Goblin King that had terrified her so many years ago,
especially since he still a few twigs stuck in his hair.
"So tell me tell what happened to you. Start from the very beginning." she said as she brought in the biscuits.
"Well, a long time ago, my mother and father met one another and decided they loved each other very much..." Jareth started.
"Not that far back!" the girl snapped "Why did the Goblins rebel?"
"I've asked myself the same question, and quite frankly, I haven't got a clue." said the ex-Goblin King. "They just barged into my room, stole my balls and threw me out the window!"
"They castrated you?"
"No! We've already done that joke! Anyway, I would have fallen to my death but Cynthia saved me and I managed to escape to the Aboveworld while she went to my cousin for help." said Jareth "And that's about it. I'm stuck here for the time being with no money and nowhere to stay."
"Who's Cynthia?" asked Sarah, feeling a tiny bubble of jealousy even though she didn't know why.
"Oh, she's my Public Relations manager. She's so talented. Did you know, she was the one who came up with my whole scary Goblin King persona?" said Jareth happily.
"Really?" said Sarah, astonished.
"Oh yeah. Before I hired her, I was just Peter Pan with a different haircut."
"No wonder you've been acting so different." said Sarah.
"Well, things aren't always what they seem. I guess that includes me too." said Jareth wistfully.
"Yeah. So, what will you do now?" the girl asked.
"I don't know. Lie low for a bit until it's safe to go home, I suppose. I'll probably have to get a job while I'm here, and a place to stay."
"Well, the second one's taken care of." said Sarah. She must have been going mad but it was too late now.
"You meant it? You don't mind if I stay?" said Jareth, amazed.
"Of course not. But if you do anything remotely evil, then you're out on your ear!"
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Cynthia had collapsed into a heap on the barren sand. Her bright red hair was wild and tangled and her face was sticky with mud, perspiration and blood. Damn, it was scary in there! It was the first time she had tried to navigate the Labyrinth and she was pretty sure it would be her last. She greatly wished that she was back in her cosy little office complaining to whoever would listen about how hard her job was and moaning about his majesty behind his back. Now she was just exhausted from running away from countless monsters and falling through countless trap doors. A few fairies had tried poking her to check whether she was alive or not, but when she didn't move they got bored and fluttered away. Suddenly she was jerked back into reality when a bucket of stinking pond water was dumped over her head and she found herself face to face with a very ugly little dwarf.
"Bloody Hell! What was that for?" she shouted. "Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?"
"You passed out, thems vultures was beginning to circle if I didn't wake you up soon"
said the dwarf.
"Oh." said Cynthia. "Well, thanks er... Hogwart was it?"
"Actually, it's pronounced Hoggle." said Hoggle.
"Really? The king said you were called Hogwart."
"Well he was wrong then wasn't he!"
"That's highly likely, his majesty really is bad with names. I mean, he called me Cindy for five years. I had to write my real name on my forehead until he got it right." said Cynthia. "I'm Cynthia by the way."
"Ah! The King's little puppet master eh? So what brings you here then?" said the dwarf.
"I need to get to Korvette on some urgent business. Do you know the way?"
"Mmmm...maybe." said Hoggle mysteriously.
"Well do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Know the way?"
"What way?"
"God! It's hopeless asking you anything!" Cynthia shouted.
"Not if you ask the right question..." said Hoggle with sneaky little smile.
"Will you take me to Korvette if I give you money?" asked Cynthia.
"Well done, that was spot on." said Hoggle. "If you would care to follow me, missy,
we'll be on our way."