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Boris and the other Goblins were feeling particularly grumpy and hung over that morning and no amount of coffee was going to make it better.
"Hey, Comrade Boris, weren't we supposed to be at work like three hours ago?" asked Rod from his resting place on the throne room floor where he had collapsed the night before.
"Ah, shuddup!" Boris groaned "We're free now, we don't have to work."
"But I'm hungry and no one's on kitchen duty."
"...crap!"
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Meanwhile, somewhere on the Labyrinth's borders, Cynthia and Hoggle sat down to rest under a gnarled old tree. They had left Hoggle's tiny cottage just before dawn after a hearty breakfast of scrambled fairies on toast. the journey so far had been uneventful enough and there was very little to see as they traversed the sandy scrubland between the colossal fortress that was the Labyrinth and it's border with the independent yet small kingdom of Leon. Hoggle had planned a brief route through this country as the land was less barren with more human settlements. They could also avoid most of the mountain range this way if they took the long way around.
"OK, we'll arrive at the border in about an hour if wes walk quickly." said Hoggle. "We 'ave to be careful in those parts, the roads are full of bandits. Don't go a wandering in the towns at night and don't drink the water, it be full o'nasties."
"And this is the easy route, you say?" said Cynthia sceptically. "Isn't there any kind of law enforcement?"
"Nah! The whole place is run by a warrior clan that call 'emselves the Kings of Leon."
"How original!" the girl sighed.
"Theys gets a real kick out of terrorising their citizens." said Hoggle solemnly. "Oh and Leon isn't very friendly when it comes to strangers so we need to blend in." he reached inside his backpack and pulled out a pair of outfits made entirely out of leather and chainmail. "Put this on, will you."
An hour or two later and Cynthia and Hoggle were crossed the border looking an awful lot like bikers with swords.
"Are you sure we're going to fit in?" the girl asked looking at her elaborate costume. "This thing is awfully heavy and I look like some sort of Visigoth."
"Quit complainin'!" said the dwarf checking his map. "We'll find an inn for the night in the next town then gets an early start tomorrow so wes can cover most of the main road and hopefully we'll reach the mountains by dusk.".
"I don't like this place, Hoggle. It's full of head bangers!" Cynthia whispered worriedly, eyeing the rather dangerous looking passers by. "Maybe, the king can just find his own way back from the Above World. Yeah! Let's go home now and have a nice cup of tea."
"Now wait just a second!" cried the dwarf. "I's never pretended to like Jareth that much, but if wes don't find a way to get 'im back, the entire kingdom will go down the pan and you and me will be out of a job! We have a quest and it is our duty to fulfil it." By now they had entered the local inn and were faced with twenty pairs of violent, beady eyes focused on them from the crowd of villains and drunks inside.
"Er... on second thought, that cup of tea sounds nice." said the dwarf seeming to shrink even smaller than her actually was.
The cowardly duo approached the bar and tentatively tried to get the attention of the psychotic,
one eyed bartender behind it.
"Um...excuse me..." Cynthia began.
"WHADA YOU WANT!" the man bellowed with enough ferocity to knock the girl off her barstool.
"Don't be polite! Act like one of them." Hoggle whispered, trembling behind her.
"Right..." said the girl. "Now listen, mate. Me and my roady here need a place to crash for the night so we can wreck the place and indulge in some copious amounts of sex, drugs and ROCK AND ROLL!" she shouted and with a flourish she threw a barstool out the window.
The barman just stared at her blankly.
"We seem to have a bit of a language barrier." Cynthia whispered to the cowering dwarf behind her "But don't worry, I can speak fluent Keith Richards." She turned to the bartender again and began making a complex series of grunts and groaning noises which made her sound like a zombie. Eventually the bartender broke down and agreed to give them a room if she promised not to eat his brain and the two unlikely heroes settled down for the night.
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Jareth was snoozing peacefully on the Williams family couch and was having a lovely dream about triumphantly getting his kingdom back and throwing a massive house (or castle) party to celebrate. Sarah was there but she was being a lot smilier than usual, and so was Cynthia who was getting awfully big headed about rescuing the kingdom as well as getting steadily drunk like she often did at royal functions. He'd also hired Prefab Sprout as entertainers and was currently enjoying a stimulating conversation with Napoleon. He was beginning to realise that the ex French Emperor was a bit of a bastard and that he'd been dead for a number of years which worried him a bit but as much as when Mr Bonaparte began turning into a pink flamingo and squawking really loudly.
"AHHH! ROBERT! THERE'S A MAN IN THE HOUSE! AND HE'S SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!"
Jareth's eye's snapped open and he was suddenly face to face with a terrified blonde woman who was squawking a lot like the flamingo in his dream. It was really too late at night for something like this so the ousted Goblin King tried rolling over and going back to sleep, but realised that was not an easy task when the blonde woman began hitting over the head with her handbag.
"AH! Gerrof!" he groaned trying to wriggle away. "Sarah!"
Luckily he was quickly rescued when Sarah rushed downstairs and started screaming at everyone to stop panicking.
"Dad, Karen," she said when everything had calmed down. "This is Jareth. He's...er...a friend of mine...from college. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but he kind of showed up out of the blue."
"He seems a little old to have gone to college with you." said her father sceptically.
"...um...he was a mature student." said Sarah desperately. "And he really needs a place to stay until he finds another job, so do you mind if he stays here?"
"Please." Jareth added shyly.
Robert scowled for a few minutes but his shoulders soon sank in defeat and he retreated to his bedroom with his wife not far behind shouting things along the lines of "Robert, you can't be serious! I will not have that creature staying in MY house!"
"Sorry about that." said Sarah "They're nice people really." But the ex-Goblin King was already asleep.