Rahne
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Trouble? I call it sport!"
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ACT 3 - Lucky escape
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After the girls have finished their musical number, Mystique charges in, blowing her whistle loudly. The girls all freeze, then Mystique smiles sweetly
"Good morning, children", she says, in a rather frightening voice.
"Good morning, Miss Darkholme", chant the girls
"Good morning, Miss Darkholme", says Dani, her voice muffled by the bed linen.
"What the heck!", Mystique walks over to the trolley, pulling Dani up, "What are you doing in there?"
"Not getting clean, that's for sure", says Dani, "peewww-ee!"
"Your days are numbered", says Mystique, narrowing her eyes, "Get her out of there"
The girls help Dani out, just then, an overly-happy Forge walks in, carrying a load of fresh linen
"An IQ of over three hundred and what am I?", asks Forge, "A laundry man"
"….Is there something wrong with being a laundry person?", asks Pietro, "I must remind you, this is what Todd Fan does as a job…she may smite you"
"…..You have a point", Forge frowns, "I don't want to be smote"
"Then be a happy, jolly man!", grins Pietro.
Forge gives Pietro a look of death, before sighing and putting on a happy face
"Mornin' kids!".
"Mornin', Mr Bundles!", grins the girls.
"...", says Forge.
"I warned you she'd smite you", says Pietro, "Carry on (snort) Mr Bundles"
"Todd Fan's going down for that one...just wait and see", mutters Forge, "Morning, Miss Ravey!"
Mystique merely glares at Forge while the girls gather around him.
"Okay, kids", he says, "clean sheets once a month whether you need them or not"
"Thank you, Mr Bundles!", say the girls.
"Stop speaking in unison", says Forge, "...it's scary"
Mystique blows on her whistles and the girls form a straight line, as they take a sheet each one at a time
"Oh, Miss Ravey, I live for laundry day at your fine establishment", he says.
"Bundles, you're full of applesauce", says Mystique, then blinks, mouthing 'applesauce?'
"...Applesauce?", asks Forge.
"It's the nineteen thirties", says Pietro, "gimmie a break!"
The girls gather around the trolley again, Mystique not noticing a very suspicious like Rahne sneak into the trolley behind them, as Forge pulls out a fake flower from his pocket.
"Oh, Miss Ravey", he says, "won't you let me even take you out of an ice cream 'soadee'?".
"...Is this how you talk to all women?", asks Mystique, arching a brow.
"No, but none of my pick-up lines are PG rated", grins Forge
"Too much information!", screams Pietro.
"No", says Mystique.
"...Blunt, aren't ya?", says Forge, "How come?"
"'Cause I'm saving myself for Warren Worthington", says Mystique
Forge blinks at her, then gives a snort.
"SHADUP!", she screams, "Now get the lousy laundry. Get the heck outta here".
Forge sighs, heading off to the trolley and pushing it along
"Oh, very well. So long, fair Ravey. And Merry Christmas to all", Forge pauses, "...even if I don't actually.."
"We had this argument with Dani already", says Pietro, "just push the trolley and you don't have to act again"
"Woooot!", grins Forge.
Forge happily heads out of the orphanage, so he can spend the rest of the parody somewhere nice, not in the parody.
"Bye, Mr Bundles", call the girls.
"Miss Darkholme, may we please have our breakfast now?", asks Rogue, "wait, she's my mother and running the orphanage I'm in"…that's not right…"
"No. You may have it later", says Mystique, ignoring the girls' moans, "There's a rush order of dresses you gotta finish. You'll eat after you're done with your sewing machines. That is.. if you've done a good job"
Mystique blows a whistle, as she walks down the line of girls
"Roll call!"
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", says X23
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", say Rogue, "not"
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", says Wanda
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", says Amara.
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", says Dani.
"I love you, Miss Darkholme", says Jubilee.
Mystique turns her head to look where Rahne would normally be, only to find no one there
"Rahne!", she calls, "Get your little orphan self out here!"
The girls grin to themselves in Mystique's peril
"Miss Darkholme, Rahne ain't here", grins Wanda
"Really?", asks Mystique, "Where is she?"
"Mr Bundles rolled her out with the dirty laundry", grins Rogue with unhidden glee.
"WHAT!", screams Mystique, "I could lose my license!"
Mystique runs out of the orphanage
"Bundles, come back here!
The girls laugh, running to the window to look as Mystique runs after Forge's departing laundry truck
"Stop that truck! Come back, Bundles", she shouts, "Come back! Somebody help me!"
The girls laugh more as a little terrier chases after Mystique
"Yeah, Rahne made it!", cheers Dani
Lucky kid she's out there free, sings Wanda
Runnin' free in N.Y.C, sings X23
Bet she find her folks like that, sings Rogue
Mom and Dad right off the bat, sings Jubilee
The girls begin to have a pillow fight
No more hard-knock life
No more hard-knock life
No more hard-knock life
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Onwards, ho!