Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Nor do I own a pink Hello Kitty television. But they exist! Be afraid, be very afraid. . . .
The Year of the Onion
by Jessyca Thornbrook
4. Ogres Are Like Onions
It wasn't working.
Mamoru usually avoided places like this. When he had to go shopping, he went for the upscale, spacious, tastefully quiet shopping centers, places he could think clearly and relax. He avoided the trendier malls like the plague—they were always full of shrieking teens, loud music, and young, bleach-haired salesgirls yelling welcomes in nasal voices that could shatter glass. No thanks.
Yet here he was, purposely wandering through noisy, crowded little shops full of bizarre merchandise, opening his ears to the deafening cacophony, letting the sensory overload wash over and through him.
And it wasn't working.
In spite of it all, he couldn't stop thinking. About the clue. About the kiss. About her. Usagi-chan. Good grief, he wasn't even thinking of her as Odango Atama any more! Well, not all the time, anyway. And other words were starting to creep into his brain, words like angel and mine. And Usako. Whenever he relaxed at all, the words would come sneaking into his thoughts, and he'd find himself whispering them aloud.
Which was another reason he'd come to this mall. At least no one would be able to hear him muttering to himself like a lunatic.
He stared into a display case of men's silver jewelry: heavy-looking rings and bracelets that he would never wear. Some had inlaid stone—turquoise, lapis, opal. Mamoru frowned. The lapis was too dark, the turquoise too green, and both were far too opaque. They should be more translucent, like the opal, but in a clear, bright blue. . . just like her eyes. . . .
"ARGH!" He brought his hand down hard on the top of the display.
"Excuse me, sir, may I help you?" the salesgirl inquired, looking as if she couldn't decide which was more important: the fact that he seemed crazy, or the fact that he was really cute.
"Uh—no, thanks," Mamoru mumbled, embarrassed. He turned away quickly, before she could try to sell him anything. He took two steps, and suddenly froze.
"Ogres. . . are like onions!" Somehow, that one sentence filtered through the unceasing deluge of noise, and struck his ears like a bell. He looked around wildly for the source.
In front of a nearby children's store, two kids stood mesmerized in front of a pink Hello Kitty television. On its screen were two computer animated characters: a donkey and a big green. . . ogre? An ogre! Holding an onion! This was it! Mamoru's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. Without another thought, he sat down on the floor next to the children and listened as the ogre explained his philosophy to the donkey.
They got as far as parfaits before Mamoru noticed anyone staring at him.
What, can't a grown man sit on the floor and watch cartoons in a public place? he grumbled to himself as he walked away. And really, what had those two young mothers thought he was going to do to their kids? Watching a kids' movie doesn't make me a psycho! He shrugged it off—he had more important things to do. Like finding that movie!
It would have helped, he reflected an hour and a half later, if he'd known the title. At least then he wouldn't have had to try to describe it to the video store clerks. The young man at the first store had just stared at him blankly. The third clerk he spoke to at the second video store had at least been able to identify the movie he was after: Shrek. She hadn't been able to find it on the shelf, though. Her assistant manager finally found the empty box—it was already rented out.
Mamoru stomped out of the third video store, where they had just lost their only copy, determined to find a phone booth and call every video rental place in Tokyo until he found Shrek. Before he had taken more than a few steps, however, he was halted by a somewhat familiar voice.
"Mamoru-san!"
He turned to see one of Usagi's friends. "Hey, Minako-chan," he greeted the blond girl, attempting to look and sound normal. From the grin on her face, he wasn't sure if he'd succeeded or not.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
The question caught him off guard, and he could only say "Huh?"
"At the video store. I guess not," she added, looking at his empty hands. "Could I make a suggestion?"
"Um...well--"
"Why don't you try this?" she cut him off, and produced a video from her bag. "Just give it back whenever!" she chirped, shoving it into his hands and taking off down the street. Mamoru looked at the cassette in his hands.
Shrek.
"Enjoy!" Minako's voice came drifting back on the breeze.
When he got home, he found a bag of microwave popcorn and a coupon for free pizza delivery taped to his door, along with a single red rose.