EDIT NOTE: This chapter has been revised and edited as of February 11, 2005. No major details were changed, just slight re-wording and grammatical fixes.

All characters, trademarks, song titles, etc. are from Neon Genesis: Evangelion and some other assorted animes and such, and are thereby properties of Gainax or whatever company has the copyright. That means I don't own them, because I am not cool enough to be in any way affiliated with Gainax or ADV or anything like that. So don't sue me, you greedy bastards.

The story has kind of an abstract timeframe; I'd say it picks up somewhere in the general area toward the end of the series, when Asuka starts losing it and becomes jealous of Shinji. Knowledge of Kill Bill is not necessary, but it could help.

If you are squeamish and/or are disturbed by thought of the characters you know and love turning evil and dying violently, this story is not for you. Violence, gore, profanity, implied sexual situations, etc; definitely an R rating for this one. If you've seen Kill Bill, you get the idea.

You have been warned. Are you still with me? Good, then here we go:

Kill Gendou

Volume One

"Can we really do this, Commander?" Ritsuko asked, raising an eyebrow and looking across the desk at Commander Gendou Ikari.

"The Second Child has become intolerably unstable," Gendou replied, his stern voice echoing briefly throughout his office. "The security risk is unacceptable. This is a problem, and problems must be dealt with. There are no other factors to consider."

"Perhaps. But isn't this a little… excessive?"

"Irrelevant. Termination is the most expedient solution, and it must be done in a manner that does not cause suspicion with SEELE."

"I suppose you're right," Ritsuko conceded with a sigh, looking down at the floor for a moment.

A sudden thought interrupted her private musings.

. "Major Katsuragi won't like this," she said, raising her head back up to meet Gendou's gaze.

"She will accept it nonetheless," the commander declared. "Otherwise she is to be considered expendable as well. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Commander," Ritsuko replied, removing her glasses and walking around the desk to sit on Gendou's lap, straddling him. "I understand. But first, you'll have to do something for me…"

Asuka sat patiently in the entry plug of Unit 02, gazing out at the empty sea. Little waves rolled calmly ashore, splashing lightly against the pale sand. A few seagulls circled here and there in the hopes of scavenging some tasty morsel, discarded by humans and their inherently wasteful nature. Units 00 and 01 stood flanking her, also motionless. Tranquility reigned supreme.

"Are you sure there's an Angel out here?" Asuka whined. "We've been waiting here for almost an hour, and all I've seen is a bunch of stupid birds."

She was tense, on edge; having been outperformed by Shinji as of late, she was determined to prove her worth as an EVA pilot. When the opportunity to take point on a mission such as this had come up, she had seized the opportunity as a chance to redeem herself.

But how am I supposed to do that when the enemy won't even show its ugly face? she wondered.

"Be patient, Asuka," Ritsuko chided over the com. "It's there, but there's nothing we can do until it decides to surface. You remember what happened last time you fought an Angel at sea, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah," Asuka grumbled. "I know. B-type equipment."

Ritsuko switched off the com, turning to her assistant, Maya Ibuki.

"Set plug trajectory for 62 degrees," she said. "I want estimated point of submergence at coordinates one-seven-zero-four, nine-seven-zero-nine."

"Ma'am, I'm really not sure about this," Maya protested. "It just doesn't seem-"

"We already had this discussion," Ritsuko interrupted. "Just do it."

"Yes ma'am," her aide acknowledged. "No scruples."

Maya's hands sprang into action, flitting about her keyboard in obedience.

"Thrust ratio set to 17.9," she said. "Adjusting vector to compensate for wind resistance."

"Good," Ritsuko said, looking up at Gendou, seated in his usual position on the bridge. "Everything is ready, Commander."

Fuyutsuki leaned over from his place at Gendou's side, keeping his voice low.

"Are you absolutely certain about this?" he asked.

"The decision has been made," Gendou replied. "A broken tool must be discarded. And this tool is clearly broken."

With two gloved fingers he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"Do it."

Bored, Asuka counted the seagulls again for what seemed like the millionth time.

Eins, zwei, drei…

Without warning, an error message flashed across the inner surface of the entry plug. She jerked up from her slouched position, fully alert.

"Huh? Eject command received! Don't eject, you stupid piece of junk, how am I supposed to fight the Angel if I'm ejected?"

Another message replaced the eject command.

"Ballast tanks depressurizing? What's going on?"

There was an audible hiss as the plug obeyed. Asuka thought back to her college physics class.

If the ballast tanks depressurize and the entry plug ejects into the ocean…

"Scheisse!" she cried, pounding her fist on the emergency override panel. "Cancel eject sequence! Manual override! Obey me, damn you!"

Yet another message appeared on the plug's walls.

"External override? Verdammt! Misato! Ritsuko! What's going on!"

No response.

"Goddamnit, I said answer me!"

Ritsuko's voice came over the com, but her words were not addressed to Asuka.

"Shinji, Rei, prepare for manual retrieval of Unit 02."

They voiced their confirmation. Asuka pounded her fist on the override again, desperate.

Another voice crackled over the com, finally directed at Asuka. It was Misato; her voice was cold, distant.

"Goodbye, Asuka."

Asuka opened her mouth to respond, but was cut short as the force of the ejection slammed her head into the entry plug's metal lining. The LCL slowed her movement somewhat, but the impact was still hard enough to stun her momentarily, stars flashing across her vision. She felt another jerk as the plug splashed into the ocean, abruptly slowing its momentum.

A cold lump settled in the pit of her stomach as the reality of her situation sank in. There was nothing she could do. The entry plug was slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean. She was trapped.

The cold lump quickly faded away, replaced by a burning rage. She had long ago resigned herself to the possibility of death, and it had lost its power over her. She had always known she might die fighting the Angels. But to be killed like this, betrayed by her fellow humans, by her very own comrades…

"I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I'll kill you…"

The words came from the very depths of her soul. It didn't matter how ridiculous it seemed. At this time, in this place, from the essence of her very being, Asuka Langley Sohryu swore revenge. Someday, somehow, she swore to hunt down the people who had done this to her. They would pay dearly; oh yes, she would make sure of that.

The hatch opened. Water rushed in, quickly displacing the LCL and slamming into her like a freight train. Asuka's thoughts washed away in the torrential current, and she knew no more.

Gendou Ikari sat facing the main viewscreen, his hands folded at his chin. His face held no expression, no clue to his inner thoughts or feelings.

"Pilot life signs read at zero," Shigeru Aoba reported.

"It is done, then," Gendou said.

"Yes," Ritsuko said. "At that depth, no human could survive plug depressurization. Even if one wasn't crushed outright, the damage to the brain would be too severe for even the most basic motor functions."

Misato smiled slightly; she was starting to feel better already.

"I suppose we should start looking for a replacement," she said.

Ritsuko smiled back.

"I think you're right."

Darkness. It was everywhere, surrounding her. Invading her.

She heard voices, but they were fuzzy, distant.

"Poor girl. I heard they found her washed up on the beach. "

"Yes. She was in a terrible state. The doctors aren't sure how she survived, but she did."

"Even so, there isn't much chance that she'll ever wake up."

"Poor thing."

Asuka's shattered mind processed none of the conversation, save for one word. Her lips moved, ever so slightly, as if repeating it.

"Survived."

Tokyo-2 Community Hospital

Three Weeks Later

Dr. Ritsuko Akagi strolled through the hospital corridor, her long lab coat brushing against her shapely legs. She whistled, an unusual behavior for her; but then, everyone at NERV had been acting a bit differently for the past couple weeks, as if the knowledge of what they had done was a secret pact, binding them together and reshaping their personalities. With a quick glance at the small plastic sign reading "217," Ritsuko stopped, stepping through the open door into the room beyond.

The still form of a fourteen-year-old girl lay on the bed, her long red hair bristling slightly in the current from the air conditioning. Ritsuko walked over to the bed, looking down at her.

"Asuka."

The heart monitor beeped, slowly, repeatedly, as Asuka's chest rhythmically rose and fell.

"I know you can hear me, Asuka," Ritsuko said. "I'm amazed you managed to survive. Truly, it is an impressive feat. You certainly are one tough little bitch."

She moved closer, brushing away a strand of red hair that had fallen over Asuka's cheek.

"It's unfortunate that things had to turn out like this," she continued. "But, you know… shit happens. Commander Ikari made his decision. I was just following orders. Although I can't say I didn't derive some small measure of enjoyment from pressing the override button."

She smiled.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. I guess it's just the slightest hint of a guilty conscience. A person can never completely get rid of their conscience, you know. Even Commander Ikari, deep, deep, deep down in the bottom of his heart, feels some semblance of remorse for what he did to you."

Ritsuko shrugged.

"No matter. You'll be dead in a matter of minutes anyway, a coma victim dying tragically in her sleep. You should count your blessings. Dying in one's sleep is a far better alternative to being killed by an Angel. And with your pathetic piloting skills, it was only a matter of time before that happened."

Asuka twitched, subtly, almost imperceptibly. The slightest curl of a lip; a casual observer would have mistaken it for some unconscious reaction, if they noticed it at all, but Ritsuko's professional eye recognized the act for what it truly was.

"See. You can hear me."

Ritsuko's personal communicator beeped. Removing the device from the clip at her waist, she glanced at the screen.

"I'll be right back."

She began walking out the door, then stopped, glancing back at the comatose girl with a smirk.

"Don't go anywhere."

Shinji Ikari crept through the empty hall, glancing nervously from side to side. He wasn't sure why he felt so apprehensive; after all, no one in the hospital would recognize him. He supposed it was just his nature.

He crept from room to room, peering through each open door until he came to the one he was looking for. Peeking around the corner, he observed the inert figure of a certain red-haired girl.

Shinji entered the room slowly, taking small steps toward the bed.

"A-Asuka?" he said quietly.

No response.

Taking a few more steps, Shinji repeated himself in a slightly louder voice.

"Asuka?"

Still no response.

He reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder, softly shaking her.

"Asuka, wake up."

Shinji gazed down at her, remembering all the times he had shared with her. The battles they had fought, both with and against each other. He remembered her smile, her laugh; he also remembered her frown, and the way her eyes seemed to light up when she was angry. In this moment Shinji recalled the very essence of Asuka Langley Sohryu as he knew her.

He shook her again, harder.

"Asuka, wake up."

His thumb caught the fabric of her hospital gown as he pulled his hand away, tugging the thin material aside and exposing her breasts to the cool air.

Shinji could not help but stare. It seemed like an innocent mistake, but a small part of his mind seemed to be telling him that this was no accident. He had willed this to happen.

Turning away, Shinji moved toward the door as if to leave. He poked his head out into the hallway, checking both directions. The hall was empty.

He grasped the handle firmly, then pulled the door shut. The locking mechanism clicked as he slid it into place, securing the room from outside intrusions.

Shinji turned to face the bed once again, staring intently at the young woman lying there, helpless. The fear drained from his eyes, replaced by something else. Something primal.

Shinji stalked toward the bed, slowly, deliberately. He smiled.

"I mustn't run away…"

Ritsuko Akagi paced along the row of bushes just outside the hospital's rear entrance, pausing to toss her cigarette butt on the sidewalk. Grinding the smoldering stub beneath a heel, she lifted her communicator to eye level, glancing at the screen.

"Asshole," she muttered. "Put me on hold will you? You called me."

She sighed, lowering her arm. No, Gendou Ikari was not the kind of man to play such trivial mind games. He would not have contacted her if it was not important, and he certainly would not have interrupted the communication without cause. He probably did have some urgent meeting with SEELE; after all, it had been quite a long time since NERV had last faced an Angel. The old men were growing impatient.

Ritsuko smiled. Her "relationship" with the Commander had been quite profitable these past few years. He was just using her, of course; she was well aware of that. But then, she was using him, a fact which he also knew quite well. It was a profitable arrangement for each of them, both career-wise and in… other areas.

Her communicator beeped. She lifted it to her ear once again.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Have you located the Second Child?"

"Yes."

"Then our reports were accurate," Gendou said, idly rubbing the embryo implanted in his right hand. "Very well. Proceed as planned."

"Understood."

The line clicked as Gendou severed the connection.

"So, the Second Child is still alive," Fuyutsuki said, as Gendou placed the phone back into his desk drawer. "Remarkable. Perhaps we were too hasty in discarding her."

"Perhaps," Gendou admitted, looking up at the sub-commander. "But that is of no concern to us now. The final Angel will soon appear. There's not much time left."

"Yes," Fuyutsuki agreed. "After all these years, our plans are finally coming to fruition."

"Indeed."

A hospital orderly moved steadily down the corridor, pushing a cart of medical supplies. The name on his ID tag read "Kire Guirufuyu." He slowed, glancing briefly at the closed door of Room 217 as he passed; it was unusual for patients' doors to be shut, even at night. He considered investigating, but decided against it. It was late, and he had plenty of work left to do before his shift was over. Resuming his former pace, he continued down the hall. By the time he reached the double doors at the end, he had forgotten the matter entirely.

Once he was gone, Ritsuko Akagi stepped out from the shadow of a nearby vending machine. She reached within her lab coat, removing a small syringe full of amber liquid. She held the needle up to the light, depressing the plunger slightly, squirting a small quantity of the fluid to ensure it was in working order. Turning her attention to the closed door of Room 217, she strode across the hallway and grasped the handle.

It wouldn't budge. She pulled again, more forcefully this time, with identical results. It was locked.

"Shit."

Tokyo-2 Community Hospital

Five Years Later

The sound of a mosquito buzzing filled her ears, fading in and out as the insect varied in its flight path. She exhaled, diaphragm pushing the breath from her lungs, flowing past her dry tongue and faintly moving lips into the empty room. Slight vibrations in her vocal cords mingled with the current, transforming the usually silent act into a soft, garbled moan.

The buzzing sound increased again in volume, then went silent. She felt a slight prickling on her forehead as the bug set down, taking a few small steps before sinking its proboscis into the delicate flesh just above her nose, suckling contently at her vital fluids.

For the first time in more than five years, the right hand of Asuka Langley Sohryu moved, lifting past the horizontal plane to swat the pesky insect beneath her palm. The hand fell limply to her side again, discarding the crushed remains upon the room's tiled floor.

"Baka Shinji," she murmured, her lips, lungs, and vocal cords finally coming to an agreement. The words were thick, slurred; but their meaning was clear. Had there been an audience to listen, they would have understood her meaning perfectly.

"Always leaving the window open…"

Her eyes flickered open, slowly, uncertainly. The ceiling's image wavered back and forth, coming slowly into focus. Thoughts formed in her mind, but trailed off into oblivion before she could finish them. Her lips parted, opening and closing like a fish out of water, trying to form coherent speech; but as her mind transitioned awkwardly from one idea to another, so too did her body, and the words disappeared before they could be translated into sound.

A noise in the hallway attracted her attention; for a brief moment, she was able to focus her thoughts on a single notion, instincts kicking in. While her conscious mind struggled with sorting details like who and where she was, her subconscious was hard at work doing what it was meant to do: keep her alive. In this instant, the two were in accordance, each advocating the same course of action: Do. Not. Move.

Kire Guirufuyu pushed his cart of medical supplies down the hallway, walking slowly. It was a slow night, and all his work was completed. In fact, the only thing preventing him from plopping his ass down in front of the break room television was the possibility that one of the night shift's on-call doctors would catch him slacking and stick him with more work. So he idly pushed his cart down the hallway, trying to look busy and counting down the minutes until his shift was over.

He paused at the door to Room 217. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but something was beckoning to him, drawing him in. Leaving his cart in the hall, he stepped across the threshold into the room.

The girl lay motionless upon the bed, the same way she had been for more than five years. But she did not look the same as she had back then; her figure had filled out nicely, despite her lack of exercise. Kire's eyes followed along the curves and valleys of her body, absorbing the sight as if for the first time. It might have been just a result of his boredom, or perhaps it was his sudden realization that she was now over eighteen years of age, but for whatever reason his mind began to seriously consider an idea that until then had just been lurking in his subconscious, surfacing occasionally only to be dismissed as a product of his own perverted fantasy.

He continued his examination; she really was a very attractive young woman, despite the fact that she was a foreigner. In fact, that only made her seem a bit exotic, increasing her level of attractiveness.

Kire was not sure why he was just realizing this now. He had walked by this room almost every day for the last five years; hell, he had often walked into this room in the course of performing his nightly duties. Even when that little Ikari fellow and his two friends started showing up on a regular basis, spending hours at a time locked inside the room with the comatose girl doing God knows what, he had not truly noticed her transformation until this moment. He had never really given it much thought, he supposed; as long as those nice, fat checks kept rolling in from the NERV bank account, he was more than happy to turn a blind eye toward these little excursions. As far as Kire was concerned, as long as they didn't leave any permanent marks, it was smooth sailing.

But now, he could not deny her allure; and the way her gown had tilted slightly to the side, showing off a large portion of her cleavage, only helped to drive this fact home into his brain. So what if he indulged a little, now? Who would know? The only other person around was the girl herself, and she wasn't talking.

Grasping the door handle, Kire slowly pulled the door shut and slid the lock into place. The click it made when secured seemed loud as an explosion to his mind, blasting away the last vestiges of his reluctance. His choice was made; there was no turning back. Loosening his belt, he walked over to the bed, his eyes still absorbing Asuka's beauty. Placing a knee at her side, he gently lifted his other leg over her abdomen, the eased himself down, straddling her. He moved his face in closer, inhaling her scent, her cool breath brushing against his cheek. He smiled.

"Baby, when I'm done with you, you'll be jumping around reciting the alphabet backwards."

"Is that so?"

Asuka's eyes snapped opened, a wicked smile splayed across her face. Kire began to pull back, shocked at her sudden revival.

Asuka's right arm shot up, fingers extended as if in a 'peace' sign. Peace, however, was the furthest thing from her mind. The unfortunate Mr. Kire Guirufuyu came to realize this quite well as the fingers continued their forward motion, plunging into his eyes and piercing through the soft orbs clear to the back of their sockets. He opened his mouth to scream, but Asuka's left hand came up, clamping his jaw shut. Unfortunately for him yet again, his tongue was not completely retracted into his mouth. As Asuka slammed his jaws together, his teeth closed over the exposed organ, slicing through the flesh and splashing Asuka's cheek with warm blood.

In supreme agony, Kire tried to scream, but between the hand clamped firmly under his chin and the large quantities of blood filling his mouth, all he managed were a few muffled gurgles. The warm red fluid dribbled from between his forcibly closed lips and spurted through his nose, further spattering Asuka's face and gown.

Withdrawing her right hand from his oozing sockets, she reached around, securely grasping the back of his head. Then, releasing her other hand from beneath his chin and placing it firmly against his cheek, she twisted. With a loud crack and one final, unrestricted gurgle, the unfortunate orderly was wiped from this existence. Asuka gave a slight shove, then let the forces of gravity and his body's own weight finish the job, sending the corpse toppling to the floor.

She lay still, sweat beading on her forehead from the exertion; her poor, atrophied body was not ready to handle that kind of effort. Still, the act had helped her focus, bringing her thoughts much more into focus than the disorderly mob they had been previously.

The smell of freshly-spilled blood permeated the air. Asuka's nostrils absorbed the scent, translating it into electrical impulses. As her memories settled into place, these impulses traveled through her nerves, sparking from one neuron to the next, until finally they reached their ultimate destination.

Asuka froze. The thoughts surged through her, relentless.

Scent of blood.

LCL.

Entry plug.

EVA.

Not a doll.

She thrashed, caught up in the rush of memories, leaning too close to the bed's edge. Off-balance and caught up in the madness within, she toppled over the side, stomach colliding with the orderly's corpse as her knees impacted on the cold, hard floor. She grunted in pain, the breath flowing out of her all at once, but still the memories came.

Angel.

Mission.

Sinking.

Darkness.

Gendou.

As abruptly as they had come, the memories stopped. She lay there, staring at the orderly's blood as it flowed through the grooves between tiles, that single thought burning in her mind.

Gendou.

A line of frothy spittle trailed from the corner of her mouth, mingling with the blood on the floor.

Gendou.

The words came forth from deep within her, wrenched from the very fiber of her being.

"I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll KILL you…"

Two Hours Later

"I'll kill you…"

Asuka lay atop the orderly's corpse, staring blankly at the pale, tiled floor, the last of her rage expended with this final whisper. She felt numb, empty, drained.

But her lust for revenge remained. It was the only thing that kept her going. Without it, she might very well have lapsed back into her coma right there, never to wake up again. It burned at the back of her mind, prodding her onward, keeping her conscious. It would not let her forget.

And she would never forgive.

Revitalized by her hate, she rolled off the carcass, her mind working feverishly to determine the best course of action. For the time being, she busied herself with emptying Kire's pockets, coming up with a set of keys and a wallet stuffed with a nice, thick wad of bills. She smiled; it was a start.

Pushing her elbows against the tile's smooth surface, she pulled herself toward the door, dragging her useless legs behind. She grimaced as her tender knees and stomach rubbed against the floor, but still she persevered, finally reaching her destination. She put her ear to the door, listening.

Silence.

Satisfied that the coast was clear, she reached for the lock. It was just out of reach, her fingers barely brushing against the bottom of the mechanism. Cursing her useless legs, she took a deep breath, then reached up again, fully extending her right arm. As it reached its maximum height, she closed her yes, took a deep breath, and pushed even further. Her shoulder popped, eliciting a small yelp of pain. She grimaced, raising the arm further. The joint popped again, louder this time, and she gasped, tears streaming from the corners of her tightly clenched eyelids. Finally, her fingers found what they were looking for. With a jerk and one last grunt of pain, she slid the lock out of place, then slid to the floor, panting with exertion. Grasping her right arm firmly in her left hand, she gave a strong, quick jerk, jamming her shoulder joint back into place. The pain brought more tears to her eyes, but she did not cry out. Pain was a weakness, and she could not allow herself the luxury of having weaknesses.

Reluctantly giving herself a few moments to recover, Asuka grasped the door handle and yanked it open, revealing the hallway beyond, and the orderly's cart still sitting where he had left it.

She eyed the cart and its contents, then pulled it into the room with her. Discarding all of its contents into a pile on the floor, with the exception of a scalpel and a fresh pair of hospital scrubs which with some effort she managed to put on, Asuka pushed the cart over to the bed. Hauling her body over in that direction as well, she reached up onto the bed, grabbed two handfuls of the sheets, and pulled. They were loose at first, and she felt herself slipping, but then they pulled taut and she managed to start raising herself up. She had almost made it when her hand slipped and she fell back down, crashing painfully into the floor once again. Cursing herself, partly for the failure and partly for the sleeve of her gown that had come dangerously close to the pool of blood leaking from the deceased orderly's mouth, Asuka snatched her arm away and reached back up to the bed for a second attempt.

She fell twice more before finally managing to pull herself all the way up, but manage she did. Pulling the cart closer to her, she dragged herself over onto that as well, then pushed off the bed with her left hand, sending the cart rolling over to the doorway with her as its passenger.

She peeked out into the hallway again, looking both ways to make sure she would not be seen. It was empty; the on-call doctors were probably busy dealing with emergency patients, and she knew quite well where this wing's night orderly was located.

Pushing herself out into the hallway, she rolled over to the wall opposite Room 217. Pushing off of this wall, she propelled herself further down the hallway at an angle that brought her back to the wall on Room 217's side, but further down toward the exit. Using this same technique, she continued down the hall, zigzagging from side to side.

As she neared the exit, one of the night shift doctors on break came through a side door, walking over to a vending machine directly in her path.

She kept coming. He did not seem to notice, placing a coin into the vending machine.

She kept coming. Still he did not notice, inserting another coin into the slot.

She kept coming. He lifted his hand, hovering over the selection keypad, wavering back and forth between chocolate and strawberry pocky.

Asuka kept coming. Finally, the man seemed to notice the squeaking sounds of the cart's wheels coming towards him and looked over in that direction.

He blinked. For a full ten seconds his mind was simply unable to process what his eyes were telling him. A young, red-headed woman, obviously of foreign heritage, was gliding down the hospital corridor atop an empty supply cart, her face and neck still streaked with blood. He could do nothing but stare, his hand still hovering over the keypad.

He opened his mouth as if to speak, but was abruptly silenced as Asuka's fist lashed out, colliding with his temple and sending his head crashing into the selection panel as she rolled by. The poor doctor collapsed, his head rebounding off the hard tile floor of the hallway.

The machine whirred, then spat out a box of chocolate pocky. The small package bounced off the unconscious man's cheek, then skidded to a halt a few inches away. Asuka continued her bizarre movement, rolling onward down the hallway and out the double doors.

Asuka rolled cautiously through the parking lot, using the thinly scattered cars to propel herself forward. She withdrew the keys from within her pocket, searching for some clue as to which one might be his. She held up the keychain, tilting it to remove the glare from a nearby streetlight, but not so much as to lose the illumination completely. A figure caught her eye; it was a picture of some scantily-clad, pre-Second Impact anime girl. A pair of bunny ears adorned her head, and from the picture's perspective her panties were clearly visible beneath her extremely short skirt, wedged tightly up the crack of her ass.

Asuka looked up, scanning the deserted lot. She froze.

Off to side, a few spaces down from where most of the parked cars were congregated, sat a bright yellow pickup. Its sides were plastered with decals of girls from various anime series; maids, teachers, superheroines, elves, and schoolgirls, all in various degrees of near-nudity and provocative poses. A bright pink sticker on the rear bumper read "Oh, What Service!"

Asuka groaned, pushing off in that direction.

"Baka hentai."

Asuka lay in the backseat of Kire's pickup, stretched out across the seat with her feet propped up against the window. She stared them down with the same intensity she had when fighting Angels, as if daring them to defy her.

"Move," she hissed.

She had taken a few anatomy classes in college, and had even dabbled a bit in physical therapy for a semester, but now she cursed herself for not paying more attention.

"Move, damn you!"

She glanced down at the fingers of her right hand, still stained with blood. She imagined those fingers thrust into Gendou's eyes- or Rei's. Those cold, red eyes. Asuka smiled.

Wondergirl… we will meet again. Oh yes, we will…

But none of that could happen until she was able to walk again.

"Damnit, I said move…"

Twelve Hours Later

Asuka's feet poked cautiously out of the side door, slowly lowering to the pavement. After five years of neglect, she was finally able to support her own weight again.

Tentatively, she moved forward, putting one foot in front of the other, easing her way along. With each step she grew steadier, more confident in her own stability. By the time she reached the driver's side door of the truck, she was almost walking normally again.

Yanking the door open, she checked the slightly more crowded parking lot one last time for any possible observers and climbed in. Turning the key, she giggled in delight as the truck's engine turned over and growled to life.

The CD player came on. Asuka glanced at the loading screen, waiting in apprehension; she didn't have a clue as to what twisted musical tastes the deceased orderly may have had, and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

The music came on; it was worse than she could ever have anticipated.

"Pawafuru mirakuru ima kuru!"

The opening theme to Steel Angel Kurumi blared through the pickup's enhanced sound system.

"Hajikeru Majikaru wandafuru!"

Asuka reached for the player's controls, desperately trying to shut it off.

"Ririkaru komikaru koi suru torokeru…"

Her hand hovered over the power button, just centimeters away. All it would take was a slight flick of a finger.

"Mi-ra-ku-ru-mi!"

Her hand fell away. Even Asuka's heart, as cold and filled with hatred as it was, could not resist the song's maddeningly cute appeal. Surrendering to its hypnotic charm, she shifted the truck into reverse and backed out of the parking space. Careful to avoid attracting the attention of the police cars parked outside the hospital's main entrance, undoubtedly there to investigate the murder and assault that had taken place the previous night, Asuka steered her way out of the hospital complex. After putting a comfortably safe distance between her and the facility, she slammed on the accelerator. The pickup roared into action, taking off like a bat out of hell, the Kurumi theme still blaring from its speakers.

"Ririkaru komikaru, koi suru torokeru, mi-ra-ku-ru-mi!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxEND OF CHAPTERxxxxxxxxxx

Ehehehehe… do you hate me yet?

I suppose the ending was a little ridiculous, especially if you haven't seen Steel Angel Kurumi, but I couldn't resist. Have you heard that song? It gets in your head and just won't leave. Unless you blow it out. With a bullet. But I promise I won't let the fic go wandering off on a tangent like that too much, and I will try to keep my sorry attempts at humor appropriately dark.

As you can probably tell, I've been following the Kill Bill plot somewhat closely, if in a slightly more chronologically organized way. This will probably continue through the events of Kill Bill's Volume 1, but after that it will likely diverge off on its own, as I have decided to tastefully avoid the idea of Gendou impregnating a fourteen-year-old Asuka. Hehe, listen to me: tastefully. As if the rest of this fic was done tastefully. Still, Gendou banging Asuka: no. Just… no.

In the next chapter, Asuka encounters Misato, and maybe even Rei… I don't know yet. Maybe I'll even manage to somehow squeak some of the minor characters in there. And don't worry; there will be more than two volumes, as long as I get a proper amount of reader input…

Just kidding. Don't you just hate it when some author goes on an ego trip and tries to hold their own fic hostage until they get X number of reviews? Like it is sooo great and important to the reader that they will just throw themselves down at the author's feet and beg by writing a bunch of kiss-ass reviews? Whenever I see that, I have a tendency to immediately click the back button, or maybe even the little red x in the corner of my browser.

Damn. This turned into quite a long author's note, didn't it? Well, I'll just shut up now and let you get back to perusing your voluminous Sailor Moon hentai collection or ogling Paris Hilton's boobs or whatever is you like to do in your spare time. But before you do, please leave me a review if you could, because reviews make me giddy like a little schoolgirl.

Thanks for reading.