Disclaimer: see prologue

Author's notes: This chapter is part of my story, but it was actually written by one of the author dragoons herself, it came from an idea that another author that will be in this story. Ninmast, the Jade Wind Dragoon, suggested it as a means of introducing everyone without it being repeated multiple times.

Legend of Dragoon: Legend Reborn

Volume I: the Gathering

By Red-Eyed, Divine Dragoon77415

Azrael's chapter by Azrael V.1.3

      For the love of God, it was one thing to have to put up living with a freak, but to have to make up for her insane misgivings was just one step too far. Azrael could barely contain her anger behind a face red with rage as she leafed through the batch of mail she had her pair of giant black Labradors, Huginn and Muninn, 'collect' from the unfortunate mailman. 

      She looked up to where O-Gee was in the middle of overheating her PS2 by playing it nonstop for the past two days.  "O-Gee, get me Pyper, now."

      "Okay, let me just finish this level..."

      "NOW."

      It was never the best idea to argue with Azrael once she started talking in all capital letters, and so O-Gee dutifully stopped maneuvering Da Qiao through Wei Territory to run over to the next room and call the psychotic middle sister of their unconquerable trio.  Azrael continued fuming for a while in the recreation room until footsteps pattered at the door and Pyper trotted in, followed by the ushering O-Gee.

      "This better be good!" Pyper declared, looking indignantly in Azrael's direction.  "I was about to actually break into Chris Jericho's private e-mail account!  Do you know how much blackmail I would have been able to obtain through that??"

      Azrael simply held up the mail in silent reply.  "Do you have anything at all to tell me before I rip you a new asshole?"

      "That's a nice offer, but one is enough for me, thanks."

      Azrael growled an unintelligible curse before turning her attention to the letters.  "First off I have a note here from the council.  It claims that you repeatedly threatened the workers of the local animal shelter and then yesterday afternoon attempted to FREE the animals into what you claim is their 'local habitat,' overlooking the fact that the exit faces onto the district highway!!"

      "It was animal cruelty in there!!" Pyper defended.  "They kept all those doggies in cages and only fed them thrice a day instead of the customary seven!"

      "Nobody else eats on your baffling diet!!" Azrael shot back.  "Next is a notice from the 7/11 down the block, threatening to sue you if you violate your ban from the store, after creating a Slushie wave from the dispensers that you tried to get O-Gee and yourself to freakin' boogie board!"

      "I thought it was a good idea!" Pyper exclaimed loudly.  "Think about it, all the seas should be made of Slushies, or cherry soda!  Then if swimmers got thirsty all they would have to do is take a drink out of the sea.  I mean, you know how bad salty water is for you, right?"

      "I will overlook the stupidity of that statement for the moment," Azrael spat out.  "Here's a memo from Mrs. Dixon from two doors down warning you to stop corrupting her little boy's mind.  What in the hell is that supposed to mean??"

      "Hey, Charlie Dixon took those male pinups from my discard pile himself," Pyper answered in her defense.  "It's not my fault that that prude won't wake up and admit that she gave birth to a gay boy."

      "Here's one from the hospital requesting that if ever you need to visit the facility again that you be confined to the floors above the basement where the morgue is housed.  I don't even want to KNOW what incident led to this request."

      "Well whatever it was I didn't do it.  The head doctor just doesn't like me because I once accidentally mixed my urine sample with his afternoon tea."

      "Chris Jericho has filed a restraining order against you.  That's the third this month!"

      "Someday Chrissie will wake up and realize that he really and truly loves me!"

      "The police force has informed me that you sneaked into a bar late at night, DESPITE being underage, and was found playing a drinking game with a quartet of transsexuals by an undercover agent.  I ought to incarcerate you myself for this one!"

      "They lie.  It was a quintet of transsexuals."

      "You emptied a vat of leeches into Andrea Sta. Cruz's hot tub."

      Pyper opened her mouth to either justify herself or swear she didn't do it, but then stopped and thought about it.  "Ah, that.  Well, she had it coming for parading around like she owns the town."

      Azrael was still glaring searing daggers at her younger sister while O-Gee had thoroughly ignored the both of them and gone back to their game, so the potentially tense atmosphere was ruined by background yells of simulated fighting.  "To top it all off, PYPER, do you know who gets blamed for this?  Whose reputation is criticized, who has to pay off ungodly amounts of money to people to keep their traps shut?  ME!"

      "Funny, I thought it would be mom and dad."

      "No, because if they actually knew how screwed up you are they would have sent you to an asylum yeas ago!  At least I still put up some hope of sanity in you by sending you to a therapist!"

      "You only do that to look like the good guy when you really aren't," Pyper accused.

      Frustrated, Azrael threw her hands up into the air.  "That's it, I've had it!  I'm tired of covering up for you, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!"

      "Well there is an empty lot a few houses down..."

      "I think you're missing the point here, Pyper," Azrael said stridently as she threw the letters into the air where they scattered around like giant strips of confetti.  "I'm through with having to put up with you.  You can handle your own moronic tendencies yourself," and with that Azrael swiveled sharply around on her heel and left the room.

      Pyper raised a quizzical eyebrow.  "What did she mean by that?" she wondered to O-Gee.

      O-Gee's reply was to shrug.  "Maybe she doesn't want to play the big sister anymore."

      "Well that's too bad, because being born first comes with that package deal," Pyper scoffed with a smirk as she looked in the direction that Azrael had gone.  "She'll be back."

      For the most part Azrael wasn't too fond of procuring a scapegoat in order to vent out her frustrations on the hapless individual chosen for that specific purpose. In this case, however, she decided to make an exception. A couple of states away, Chris stared quizzically into the receiver of his phone as Azrael's infuriated and almost half-crazed ranting blared intolerably from it.  He let this go on for a couple of minutes, looking idly through his computer files until there was silence from the earpiece.  He then picked it up and put it cautiously to his ear.

      "You put the receiver down, didn't you?" Azrael immediately accused.

      "No, of course not, why would I do that?" Chris lied.

      "Humph," Azrael noised disbelievingly.  "Well if that's so then why don't you tell me what I should do about my problem."

      Well she had him there.  Chris frowned and racked his brains for a way to get out of this one.  Finally he said, "Hire an intimidating amount of lawyers so that whoever's opposing you will get scared shitless and agree to a settlement?"

      "Chris, you said the same thing two weeks ago when I asked what to do about the three iceboxes Pyper had installed in the kitchen to hold all the ice cream she stored on a particular sweet binge," Azrael said with a sigh.  "Are you insinuating that I sue my own sister?  What good will that do me?  Pyper's broke!"

      Ah, so it was Pyper she was complaining about!  Chris grinned, happy at having at least figured that out without incurring her wrath himself.  "Listen, if you're so pissed off at Pyper why don't you take a break from her?  Go off somewhere she wouldn't think of looking for you."

      "A shuttle trip to Mars isn't exactly the cheapest travel expense in the universe."

      "Nothing that drastic," Chris said, miraculously patient.  "The world still has a bunch of nooks and crannies you can hide in."

      "Oh yeah?  Tell that to Chris Jericho, he's changed addresses about seventeen times since Pyper became obsessed with him and she's managed to find him every single time."

      "Because he wasn't trying hard enough," said Chris.

      "Fine then, name one place Pyper would least likely find me," stated Azrael.

      Chris thought about it, and said the first logical area that came to mind.  "Well, Kansas City is one, and by that I mean my place specifically.  Knowing you as well as I think Pyper does, she'll assume that you're either in Miami or Hawaii, or even the Caribbean."

      "I never knew I struck people as the clichéd city chick who likes to pop over to beaches for a vacation."

      "Actually you don't.  But for some reason that's the last three places you ran off to the last time you decided that some away from Pyper time was in order.  Hey, you're free to hide out here if you want.  My sister's moved out so you can use her room and I'm sure my parents won't mind," Chris offered.

      There was a silence as Azrael contemplated this.  "You know what, I think I'll take you up on that," she finally said in a thoughtful voice.  "I can be there by tomorrow morning.  The sooner I leave this place the better."

      "Cool, I'll see you then," Chris said.  He put down the phone and was about to return to the textbook he had been paging through when he stopped, realizing that he had just invited Azrael, one of the most eccentric bitches he had ever met, to come stay with him for an indefinite period of time.  "What have I gotten myself into?" he groaned.