Guadosalam - Noon. Yuna and company are taking a lunch break.

"I didn't think we'd ever get out of the Thunder Plains!" Tidus exclaimed, around a mouthful of fish. Lulu smiled into her cup of tea and Auron's shoulders shook suspiciously. "Too much lightning?" He asked with barely contained mirth.

"I've never seen a storm like that." Yuna said, a small pondering frown on her face.

"It was very odd."

Auron grunted, "Very odd indeed." Lulu giggled into her tea and quickly said. "I never knew you were such a talented dancer, Tidus."

"Traitor!" Tidus muttered as Yuna giggled along with everyone else.

"Tidus very quick, like small lemming." Kimahri remarked, giving Tidus a friendly slap (and a fresh bruise) on the shoulder.

"You know," Yuna said, cleaning up the remains of her lunch. "I heard from the Senior monk that the Farplane has become unstable since we defeated Sin. Should we look into it?" There was an awkward silence for a moment and everyone looked at Auron . "Don't let me stop you." He rumbled, taking a draught from his sake jar.

"Maybe some other time." Rikku said with false indifference and a nervous giggle. "But what if it's a danger to others, you know?" Wakka pondered. "What if fiends pour out and …"

"Just drop it Wakka." Tidus said, suddenly solemn. Auron rolled his eye over the rim of his glasses. Yep. The boy was looking at him with that sad puppy face.

"Stop it. I don't need any of your pity."

"…." Tidus frowned and the arguing stopped. Auron rose and straightened his robe. "I can take care of myself. Lets get going."

"Stubborn old man." Tidus murmured as Auron stalked out of the Inn. "He doesn't want us to feel like we have to protect him or feel sorry for him, ya?" Wakka said ruffling Tidus hair.

"Ya." Tidus replied, twitching a smile.

"Here we go." Yuna said moving up the steps. She had suggested that Auron stand guard at the bottom of the steps, just incase anything got past them. Of course, he had seen right through her attempt to keep him out of danger. He had smiled and stayed at the bottom of the stairs, which surprised the back up argument right out of her. "That was too easy, ya?" Wakka whispered to Lulu, with a backward glance down the stairs. Lulu nodded and entered the Farplane.

"So many pyre-flies." Yuna gasped as thousands swarmed energetically around them. "They seem agitated Ack!" Tidus stumbled backwards as Seymour suddenly appeared in front of him. "Alright," He demanded "Who was thinking about Seymour?" Everyone looked at Yuna. She gasped indignantly "It wasn't me!"

"Sorry," Rikku said meekly. "They kinda go together. You can't think about the creepy Farplane without thinking about creepy Seymour." Wakka rolled his eyes, Tidus shook his head, Lulu and Yuna both groaned, and Kimahri remained silent.

"Lets get on with this." Lulu sighed in exasperation, turning to continue on. She stopped short and choked on a yelp as she was confronted with Auron. "Alright," She called over her shoulder in irritation. "Who was thinking about the old guy?"

"It's me." Auron stalked past Lulu who sputtered in embarrassment. She turned, slack-jawed as everyone snickered. "I told you it was too easy, Lu." Wakka said with a sigh as Auron rejoined the group.

Pyre-flies swarmed angrily around them, their small comet-like forms whizzing and darting. There was none of the gentle meandering wafting that they usually displayed. Auron grunted and fell to one knee, pyre-flies leaving his body.

"Auron!" Yuna cried, drawing everyone's attention. Tidus and Kimahri, being closest, lifted him to his feet (Although Tidus was mostly a bystander as Kimahri lifted him one handed). "Come on old man, pull yourself together. You're falling apart…er, drifting away." Auron rolled his eye at the boy as the pyre-flies massed a few feet away from them. Auron grunted and glared at the pyre-flies. After a few moments he became a little more solid and shook off Kimahri's helping hand. Odd, the unsent guardian thought. Something was different; wrong. But what?"

Auron suddenly realized that everyone was looking at him, and he got the impression that they were trying not to laugh. He looked down at himself. Ah. That was it. Auron's pants were gone, replaced instead by a skimpy pair of shorts, which did nothing to cover his manly legs. "I know that was you," he snarled, pointing an accusing finger at Tidus, who was trying to look innocent. "Ummm…nice legs?" he replied, shaking with retained laughter. Auron heard Rikku giggle. He looked down at himself again, dreading what he might see. "It's not my color." he commented dryly as he scowled at he blue lacy dress he was wearing. "And blond hair doesn't suit me." he added as knee-length hair cascaded over his shoulders. "And those just don't belong." he snarled. "Look!" Tidus crowed "Auron has knockers!"

"Hey, " Rikku giggled "That looks much better!" She burst into fits of giggles with Yuna and Lulu. Tidus outright guffawed, and Kimahri made the chuffing sound that did him for a laugh. "Hey, what about this, guys?" Tidus asked between gasps as Auron acquired a pair of bandy-kneed Hypello legs.

Auron stood fuming as the Spawn of Jecht took full advantage of his status as Unsent. It was the one thing he had hoped that they would never figure out : The pyre-flies could be used to manipulate his appearance. It sucked, but it was true.

Auron suddenly felt a lot colder for some reason. A reason that rapidly became hideously clear as Yuna and Rikku screamed and covered their faces, Kimahri leaping to shield them from the terrible sight. Lulu quickly turned her back while Wakka doubled over laughing and Tidus whistled tauntingly. All of Auron's clothes were gone, leaving only his sake jar hanging in a strategic place. Tidus gave Wakka a high-five and collapsed on the ground, laughing. "I couldn't resist!" Wakka crowed, holding his sides.

"ENOUGH!"

Auron took control of his form as the last echoes bounced into silence. "Now," he said as he straightened this coat, letting his burning gaze sweep over his companions, all of them at least having the decency to look ashamed. "If you are all finished making a chocobo's rear out of medon't even think about it!" he said to Tidus, who whistled quietly to himself and suddenly found the sky profoundly interesting. "As I was saying, let's do what we came here to do: Make sure this place is safe."

Later, Auron realized that perhaps they all should have just left. Maybe he should not have reminded them why they were there. No sooner than he had reminded the group of the purpose of their visit to the Farplane, than the fiends had appeared. And of course they had to be the biggest, scariest ones. One Spectral Keeper, a Yunalesca( in all three forms, of course), a Behemoth King, one Braska's Ultimate Summon, twonot one, but twoEvraes, and a giant cat.( courtesy of Tidus)

This last fiend proved extremely difficult to defeat. This was due to the fact that Tidus kept 'adding' to it, as his imagination went on a dangerous "What if.." spree. It did not help matters when Tidus helpfully suggested that Yuna summon Valefor. Auron could have throttled him right then and there, forget the fiend. Poor Valefor looked sufficiently like a bird, and Giant Cat had chased her all over the Farplane. Yuna's quick thinking was the only thing that saved the Aeon from becoming a Giant Cat snack. Ifrit was a much more effective choice.

Once all of the fiends were taken care of, the exhausted party relaxed. "Don't anybody even think about thinking!" Wakka said quickly, pointing to Tidus. "Especially you!"

Tidus shook his head solemnly and replied "Don't worry. My mind's a blankOwwwww!" Tidus rubbed his skull where an irate Valefor had just landed a sharp peck. "I…she…she bit me!" he exclaimed as the Aeon was dismissed. "I'd bite you too." was all Auron said as he turned to lead the companions out of the Farplane. Tidus grumbled and rubbed the back of his head where Valefor had bitten him. Okay, so maybe he had deserved that. Poor Valefor did look an awful lot like a bird.