a/n Sorry this took its time getting up—my boyfriend and I got into a really bad fight. Right now, I'm going on five hours of really shitty sleep and catching a cold, so forgive typos and plot holes.

CHAPTER 10—FATHERING GAZE

As her ninth month of pregnancy was coming to a close, Christine did not care if she never got pregnant again. She felt horrible. Her back ached beyond all reason, her feet were too swollen to fit into her shoes, and she had never been so cranky. At one point, she threw a plate at Erik, which barely missed his head. He had crouched under the table for about five minutes while she ranted, only to emerge laughing.

"What's so funny?" she had demanded.

He had only been able to shake his head, as his laughter did not allow for speech. She soon joined him, and they clung together, laughing raucously.

Now, Christine was leaning back on the edge of the bed, trying to see her feet. She looked over at Erik, sitting at his desk, and asked, "Can you see my feet?"

"Yes, dear," he said, not looking up.

"Erik!"

He jumped. "What?"

"Can you see my feet?"

Giving a glance toward the ends of her legs, he nodded. "Yes, and I also see that your slippers don't match."

Christine moved from side to side, trying to see. "I did?"

"Yes, you did." Erik rose from his desk, stepping over to remove her slippers. "See?" He held them up for her to view. One was gold, one was black. "Which pair do you want?"

"Neither." She leaned all the way back so that she was lying down with her feet dangling off the edge. "I hate shoes."

Tossing the slippers into the closet, Erik lay on his side next to her, stroking her hair away from her forehead. "How are you feeling today?"

Christine reached up for his hand. "I'm tired," she said. "I can't wait for this baby to be born. I don't even remember what my feet look like."

"What did Nadir say?"

"Any day now." She sighed heavily. "Are you ready?"

Erik kissed her forehead. "Yes."

Several months before, they had finalized their decision to send the baby with Erik when Raoul came home. A month after Raoul returned, Erik would return to Vienna for about six months before coming back to stay with Eva more permanently. Christine would use those six months to make a decision about whether or not she wanted to stay with Raoul. Her initial decision to leave Raoul was met with the thought that she could not simply ask for a divorce. She needed to speak with him first.

Erik had hired a nanny to help him care for the child. He had also paid a friend in Vienna to baby-proof the house, getting rid of smaller objects that could be hazardous to a small child. As nervous as he was, Christine knew he was excited. Every time the baby kicked against his palm, a look of wonder would cross his face, and Christine thought he was more beautiful in those moments than in any of the others that they had shared. He also seemed to be more and more anxious for the baby to be born as each week passed.

A sharp pain from deep inside her belly jerked Christine from her reverie. She inhaled harshly and brought a hand to her belly. Pains had become routine for her in the past week, which Nadir said indicated that she was getting closer to the birth. She shifted around, however, and realized that she bed beneath her was damp. Another pain made her groan, and she reached for Erik, who was falling asleep beside her.

"Erik," she gasped. "I think I'm going into labor."

"Now?" he asked, shocked.

"No, next week," she hissed as another pain struck her. "Yes, now!"

Erik called for Nadir before maneuvering Christine into a more comfortable position on the bed. He smiled weakly at her. "Are you ready?

Christine shook her head frantically. "No!" She reached down for his hand. "Erik, I'm so scared!"

"It's alright, love," he murmured as Nadir rushed in, followed by Eva and Corinne. "Everything is going to be fine."

Erik had never been so exhausted in his life. It was not from lack of sleep, but from the emotional toll that the last sixteen hours had taken from him. He had never been so happy.

As the final push had come and Christine had screamed so loudly that Erik was sure that she would rip her vocal cords, he heard the most amazing sound he had ever heard in his life.

Crying.

As the baby came into the world, it announced its presence with a scream to match the one its mother had just omitted. Christine had leaned up, trying to see the child. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Erik leaned over to look into Eva's arms. A grin split his face as he looked at Christine. "It's a boy, Christine," he said. "We have a son."

Now, two hours later, Christine was sleeping soundly in the bed while Erik held his son to him. The infant boy's tiny fingers and toes were a source of amazement to Erik, who could not believe anything could be so small and perfect. He leaned down to kiss his son's forehead, then moved to sit next to Christine. He gently nudged her awake, and her brown eyes opened to look up at him. She smiled when she saw him holding their son, and she reached a hand up to caress Erik's left cheek.

"He still needs a name," she whispered.

Erik nodded. "What do you wish to call him?"

"I always wanted to name my son after my father," she said. "Would that be alright?"

"'Gustave' it is, then."

"Gustave Erik Dussek."

Smiling at the middle name she had claimed for the boy, Erik leaned down to kiss her. "Gustave Erik Dussek," he said, smiling. "A handsome name for a handsome lad." The tiny eyes opened and the tiny mouth opened and closed for a moment before Gustave began to cry. Erik laughed. "I think he's hungry."

"Oh!" Christine smiled nervously. "I don't know if I can do this without Eva."

"Yes you can," Erik said, handing Gustave to Christine when she had slid her nightgown down. "Take him."

Christine bit her lip as she cradled Gustave to her breast. He immediately quieted down and began to suck milk from Christine. She smiled down at him. "Hello, Gustave," she said. Looking back up at Erik, she managed a sad smile. "How will I live without him? How will I live without you?"

"You will go day to day," Erik said gently, "and we will return before you know it."

"I hope so," she whispered. "I truly hope so."

a/n Really crappy chapter, like I said. I've gotten sicker as I've written this (its taken me a couple of days) and things aren't getting any better in any aspect of my life right now, health or romantically. Please excuse me if things come up late–I don't really know what's going to happen with me this next week. I love you all!