Purely Physical 4

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the month long wait. Not to mention that I have school again starting tomorrow…so I knew I had to update. Anyhow, keep in mind that this will be a shorter fic than my others and all (I pretty much have it plotted out) so while updates will be infrequent, the chapters will be more eventful.

It was 10:43 p.m., and in seventeen minutes, she was supposed to go and meet Draco in the astronomy tower. But she'd been doing a lot of thinking, and where she craved his touch…she had self-control, didn't she? She could live without him; it had only been recently where she'd considered him someone beneath her notice…and now he was an addiction?

Hermione cleared her thoughts, debating on whether to go or not. What if she stood him up? What would he do? Perhaps he had other means of satisfaction. She'd suspected she wasn't even the only girl he'd initiated a purely physical relationship with. Briefly she wondered if it would be painful to find out that she wasn't. What did it mean, anyway? It wasn't as if she cared about him. Hell she didn't even like him.

She thought miserably of the last few times. Sure, it was an hour of physical bliss, but after that…the consequences. Her life had been absolutely miserable. She kept dwelling on it, and it was like having this secret side to her…she looked like a perfect, model student, best friends with two righteous young men, conservative, virginal…and then on the other side, she was a whore, sharing her body quite willingly with the enemy of all people.

In a quick decision she trudged up to the Astronomy Tower at 11:10, carefully waiting ten minutes so it wouldn't look like she was anxious or anything to get there. When she arrived, wearing as usual her school robes and not much else (she wasn't a firm believer in make-up or perfumes) he was there, scribbling away on a piece of parchment.

Draco Malfoy nodded in her direction as a way of greeting and she gave him a watery smile. She had to stop this—now. No more. She had to end it. Just as she was about to open her mouth to tell him so, he began to speak.

"I appreciate this."

"Appreciate?" she asked, surprised, and completely caught off-guard.

He gave her a small, trademark smirk, but one that didn't hold half the malice that they usually did. "Yeah. I mean, look at you. You're a role model…you're the Head Girl, top of the class, and so…bloody…conservative." He grinned wolfishly. "And look at what you do behind the scenes."

"Stop it!" she cried shrilly. This was exactly what she had been thinking about. This could not go on. "I don't think we should do this anymore," she said in one breath, trying to act cool and collected but coming off as flustered and unsure of her hasty decision.

"Your mind doesn't think we should," he said as he advanced towards her. "But the rest of you…thinks differently."

His mouth crushed hers and inadvertently she found herself responding. For a few seconds she was lost in the sheer pleasure until her mind automatically zoomed back into focus and she pushed him away. "No," she said breathlessly. "No."

"No?"

"I can't. Look, I don't know how many girls you do this with, but…me…I—"

He cut her off, the lust and longing that was visible in his grey eyes replaced by cool marble. "How many girls I do this with?" he asked dangerously.

She faltered. Had she been wrong, assuming that maybe…but he cut off her train of thought even, with his harsh words. "How dare you assume," he asked, in that same, hardened voice. "that I sleep with everyone? Rumors are not always true. I lost my control that night that everything began…something I was and am not proud of. And look at where we are now. To the point where I cannot stand the filthy sight of you…but at the same time, I want…what we do. You are the only one that I have ever done this physical relationship with, and so you keep that in mind."

Not once throughout his entire rant had he raised his voice. Not once. And now he was standing there, painfully calm and controlled…the only thing different was that he was breathing heavily and there was uncontrollable rage in his eyes.

Hermione wondered if he ever lost his temper anymore.

When he had been younger, he had a nasty temper…and Harry, Ron, and Hermione had often received the blunt end of it. But as he had grown, the insults had changed from silly temper tantrums to something a lot more dangerous. And his seventh year, while detest was still evident in everything he did surrounding them, he did not seek them out to berate them. He had changed.

Hermione could not think of anything to say to the statement. Obviously Ginny was wrong and he was only doing this physical thing with Hermione. Just one person. And had he really said that she was the only one he lost his control with!

"Oh," she finally said, rather meekly, as a thousand thoughts raced like Quidditch players through her brain. "Oh."

He nodded curtly, and then suddenly Hermione wanted to tell him a million things…this stolid, beautiful, almost carved of granite near-grown man in front of her…and he would be different from Harry and Ron because he would truly listen…that's who he'd become…and then the feeling washed away immediately and was replaced by everything she felt towards him always.

Which was mainly hate and lust.

For a moment they simply stared at each other, and then Hermione cracked the silence with a single word that she would never think she'd say to him. "Sorry."

His features relaxed, although he did not smile. "I don't think we should do this tonight."

Hermione nodded. "Yeah…it's too much."

He picked up his books, and giving her a quick peck on the cheek, exited the tower quickly. Hermione simply stood there for nearly a full minute before she moved. He had kissed her on the cheek…something, amazingly, he'd never done before.

She shook her head, trying to clear away the thoughts.

Still cold with uncertainty, she climbed down the stairs and back into Gryffindor Tower. Several minutes later, she climbed into her bed, although sleep was far from her mind. How could she with the weird way that he was behaving?

Suddenly she realized that neither she or he ever said each other's name anymore. No, it was off-limits because of their odd predicaments. Malfoy and Granger…that was too impersonal for someone you had intimate relations with, and Draco and Hermione…that was just too close for comfort. After all, their only relationship was intimate.

Today, however had been different. Even though they hadn't done the deed, so to speak, he had said something in momentary lapse of judgment. He had said that she was the only one who had made him lose control enough to have a physical relationship. He had said that she was the only one he had a physical relationship. He had kissed her (well, on the cheek, but a kiss nonetheless) before he left.

Hell. Hermione shut her eyes, trying to close off the confused brain for the night, but she had the kind of brain that couldn't shut down until it had figured out the mystery. And right now, that was quite near impossible.

Nobody could read his mind. He was a locked gold mine of secrets that nobody would ever know, unless he chose to share. And Hermione was pretty sure he never would.

A/N: Shortish, I know, but I've established a couple of important things in the chapter. Anyhow, please review. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. Also sorry for any errors but I haven't read over it (sheepish grin), I wanted to post quickly because I won't have a chance to do so until next week, then.