Chapter Seven: Too Close

Lily blinked up at Professor McGonagall, whose face was not yet lined, and instead young and full of life, yet at the moment full of apprehension. She cleared her throat and looked back to James. He smiled weakly, yet knew that the cheeky expression would not get him out of trouble this time, as it had so often before. Snape was sat in the shadows, paler than usual but the fear had gone from his face and was replaced with white fury.

"And is that what happened?" McGonagall said turning to Lily.

Lily nodded. "Yes," she said looking towards James. "We would have died otherwise." She said this almost reluctantly. "Potter dragged Severus out and then . . . well, you saw what happened. I imagine he was trying to get them both out of the way."

Snape glowered at James who returned the look with an overly fake smile.

"And you say you didn't know what was going on until they emerged from the tree, Miss Evans?"

"Yes!" said Lily indignantly. "I tried to stop Potter from going out back in the dormitory, but I waited because I wanted to . . ."

"Yes, alright Miss Evans, there will be no punishment for you. You are, however, not to repeat any of this to anybody," said McGonagall sternly.

Lily nodded and rose from her chair. Suddenly, she stopped and turned towards the stern Professor as though the thought had only just occured to her.

"Professor, can I ask . . . who was the werewolf?"

James could not believe how lucky it was that she had not known it was Lupin. He looked quickly to Professor McGonagall. She couldn't tell . . . she wouldn't . . .

"Miss Evans, you understand that I am not at liberty to discuss this with you. You will ask no more questions, return to your dormitory and go straight up to bed."

Lily nodded. "Yes, Professor." And she left James alone with McGonagall and Snape, which he was not overly pleased about.

Professor McGonagall surveyed James for a long time over her glasses.

"I really do not know what to do with the pair of you. Potter, I don't know whether I should give you a hundred points or take them away!" she said sighing. "It will be up to Professor Dumbledore to decide," she said abruptly, and left. James seriously hoped she would not be gone for long.

"I told you I'd find out," said Snape darkly from the corner, the guttering candle illuminating his wan face. "This is what you get for humiliating people, Potter."

James chose not to reply. He was now really annoyed. He had just risked his own life, twice, to save two people from a vicious beast due to something he had not even said. One person he had saved had earlier subjected him to the most pain he had ever experienced, the other thought he was an arrogant bullying toe-rag. Why had he bothered? Now he had to endure Snape's snide comments. One more, and he would just hex him right in the face . . .

"Thought you'd get points for heroism, Potter? Looks like Black's plan backfired. Obviously you two don't think on the same wavelength," he said even more maliciously, pressing his advantage.

Still, James said nothing.

"That's a weakness, you know. All people who favour bravery over cleverness will end up dead. Mark my words."

James clutched the arm of his chair until his knuckles went white. 'Don't rise,' he thought. 'It's just what he wants.' But Snape pressed on without remorse.

"I always thought Lupin was a bit of a weirdo. Half-breed is he? Thought she'd like you more by saving her worthless skin, did you? The Mudblood, I mean?"

James jumped to his feet, wand in his hand, as did Snape. Just as the two drew breath to bellow spells, the office door flew open. A much younger Dumbledore stood framed in the light of the doorway. From beneath his piercing blue eyes, a heat seemed to radiate from him, and both lowered their wands hastily.

"Not interrupting anything, I hope?" he asked calmly as though he had seen nothing. James sat down qiuckly in the chair, as did Snape, but at a more leisurely pace.

When Dumbledore spoke it was with easy calmness. "Professor McGonagall has told me of the interesting situation she found three of my students in out in the grounds," he said, as though discussing the weather. "May I ask you a question, Severus?" he said sitting down and turning to Snape whose black and hollow eyes was attempting to avert from Dumbledore's piercing blue gaze.

Snape looked apprehensive, yet nodded all the same.

"Why did you decide to go down to the Whomping Willow this evening?" Dumbledore asked quietly, boring into Snape's eyes, willing him to tell the truth. "What could have possibly motivated you to do so?"

Snape paused, and then said, "I was tipped off, Sir."

Dumbledore raised a withered old finger. "Ah, yes. But not by Mr Potter here, as you would have led Professor McGonagall to believe, I think. Am I right?" he asked.

James was amazed. He had fully intended to take the flack for Sirius, but here was Dumbledore, plain as brass, speaking as though he had been standing there in the dormitory when Sirius told James of what he had done.

Sirius nodded. "It was . . ." but Snape was cut off mid-revelation.

"I do not wish to hear names, however, I must first make one thing very clear to you, Severus. I am aware that you have been alerted to the situation of Remus Lupin. It is unfortunate that you should find out this way, however I must impress upon you the seriousness of the concept, and I want you to appreciate that you hold powerful knowledge," said Dumbledore not sternly, but it was plainly obvious to anyone who could hear him, that he fully meant what he said.

Snape looked at the floor, as though annoyed that this conversation was taking place.

"As a personal request from me, I must ask you to swear to secrecy what you have witnessed tonight. It would not be fair to flaunt the abnormality that Remus must first learn to live with himself." Dumbledore looked pointedly at Snape, who was still staring determinedly at the floor.

"Severus, I need your word," he said again, quietly.

There was along pause as Snape raised his head. "I swear," he said quietly.

Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you," he said. "I realise that this pledge takes a great deal of maturity on your part and for that, I thank you. You may leave and there will be no punishment under the current circumstances." Snape rose, but then . . . "However, Severus, I think a lesson is to be learnt here, don't you?"

Snape nodded cryptically and left, but before he did, he threw James a filthy look over his shoulder.

James was left with Dumbledore. There was a long pause as though Dumbledore was sizing him up.

"So, James," he began. "Fifth time in my office this term, and we have not even begun the Quidditch season yet. This must be some kind of personal record."

James said nothing. For the first time, he felt slightly ashamed to have this record to his name. Sirius and he used to play a game to see how many times they could enter the Headmaster's office before term ended, but now that game seemed woefully childish.

Dumbledore continued as though he had not spoken. "You went down to the Willow tonight intending to save an enemy from a terrible fate, is that correct?" he asked.

James raised his eyebrows. "Well. Sort of."

Dumbledore nodded. "I thought as much. It is above any Gryffindor to let such things occur, as I am sure you already know."

James had a fleeting image of Sirius, but forced it to the back of his mind. Dumbledore seemed able to read his mind. "Ah, you are, I see, worried about the, er . . . shall we call it, 'tipper-offer'? Well, I see no need to worry. He will redeem himself very soon, I am sure . . ."

No sooner had he said this, Sirius burst through the office door. "PROFESSOR!" he said breathlessly as though tired from running. "It wasn't James who put Snape's life in danger! It was . . . it was me."

James looked almost quizzically at Sirius, yet he was grateful all the same. Sirius could never let James take the flack for anything he had done himself.

Dumbledore raised a hand to stop Sirius from his foreseeable ramblings. "Ah, Sirius, I expected a visit from you before long."

Sirius looked almost surprised at Dumbledore's infuriating calmness. "Wh - what do you mean? Sir?" he asked apprehensively.

"Believe me, my dear boy that when I say this I mean it in no offence to you whatsoever. I am well aware of the rivalry that has escalated between yourselves and Severus over the past few years," he said, now addressing James as well out of the corner of his eye. "But there is a great difference between yourselves and Severus Snape. Had Snape sent one of you into the lair of a werewolf, I do not believe he would have later gone and hauled back the person he so loathed. This does not make him a bad person, please do not misread my meaning, it simply means that the choices are different."

James and Sirius exchanged confused glances. Dumbledore saw this.

"My point, gentlemen, is that although you were undoubtedly acting for the best, you will still receive punishments. James, in saving the life of Severus Snape, I award you fifty house points. Sirius, I cannot award points for simply telling the truth, and I will be forced to take away twenty House Points."

Sirius lowered his head. "Good call," he muttered. Dumbledore ignored this.

"Please do not underestimate the severity of your actions, Mr Black. I am not rewarding bad behaviour. But what Mr Potter did was admirable and deserves recognition. It is for this that you may count yourself lucky. I trust that there will be no more ominous passing of information between enemies?"

"No, sir," Sirius answered quickly.

Dumbledore nodded. "Good. You may go, Sirius. I would just like a word with James."

Sirius looked to James, who winked in thanks, and left backwards through the office door. James sat in front of Dumbledore, who was surveying him closely over his half-moon glasses.

"James, I am aware, as I said, of the rivalry between you and Severus, and I -"

"Not exactly subtle is it," he said quietly.

" - And in light of this knowledge, I would just like to say thank you again for the maturity you have shown. It would have been very easy to overlook the situation."

James shook his head. "No it wouldn't, 'cos then Sirius would have . . ."

"Been in serious trouble, yes. However, he is very lucky in turn to have a friend who values him so highly. But James, I must impress upon you now a serious issue. You have saved the life of someone where there exists a harsh line of hatred. Be it totally against his will or principal, Severus is in your debt. Unwillingly I am sure, however, once something like this happens, a bond occurs. Be wary of it, James."

James lowered his appalled face; a bond with Snivellus? Taking Dumbledore's silence as a sign that he could leave, he got up, yet said after a second, "Sir, how did you know that it wasn't me who told Sniv . . . Severus?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Dear boy, I do not need an admirable cloak such as the one currently residing under your pillow to become invisible."

Much to James's surprise, there were two people still awake in the Common Room when he returned. One, he had expected, but the other, he had not. Sirius was sitting perched on the table, as far away from Lily as he could get. The two were obviously uncomfortable in each other's company. The sight of Lily's embarrassed face almost caused him to smile.

Sirius got up awkwardly. "Prongs, I just wanted to say, well. You were right. And, thanks."

James winked. "Well, no surprises there then, you dog. Don't worry about it."

Sirius laughed at the private joke a little to jovially, and Lily was silently alerted to this.

"Well, g'night Jim," said Sirius. "I'll leave you to er . . . yeah." And went up to bed.

He left James and Lily alone and, oddly enough, James actually wished he hadn't. He had no idea whether Lily would be incredibly mad as a result of how close she had come to being eaten by a vicious werewolf or whether she would be grateful for him saving her life. Her expression gave nothing away; her eyes sparkled in the firelight, her hair reflected so it appeared vibrantly red, her robes rippling in the slight wind coming through the open window. James caught himself staring and desperately tried to salvage the situation.

"So, up again? This is an unusual habit, Evans." He chided himself mentally for calling her Evans. It was a childish defence that he knew he would have to eventually discard, if anything was to come of this . . . this . . . obsession.

"Yes," she said. "I was waiting . . ."

"For what?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"For you." (His stomach contracted.) "But I was just about to leave. You do take your time, Potter."

James smiled desperately. "I know, I was talking to Dumbledore."

Lily looked faintly interested but not overly so. She did not want him to know she was. "Did he punish you?"

"Not me; Sirius. It was him who tipped Snape off," said James, knowing that Sirius would not care about this; on the contrary, he would probably love people knowing he had almost got Snape seriously injured.

"Oh," said Lily. "That's surprising. I thought it was you."

James changed the conversation, not liking her sarcastic tone. "So why were you waiting for me then, Evans? Finally want to confess our undying love for each other?" he said cockily.

A heat flared up inside of Lily. Part of it was anger at the suggestion, part of it was . . . she did not know what. "No, and if you carry on like that I won't even say what I was going to."

James corrected himself deliberately. "OK, I apologise for my uncontrollable urges. Please, do go on."

Lily frowned. "Thank you," she said and left abruptly, obviously irritated at his unintentional manner. James realised that this was probably the best chance he was going to get at talking to her without all of her friends swooning over him, so he took a bold step and put his hand on her arm. She stopped in mid step and a shiver ran down her spine.

"Wait a sec," he said quickly. "That's not all you wanted to say."

She looked at him, going for a look of sarcasm but failing miserably with the burning knowledge that he was right. "You think?" she said casually. This was not the tone she was banking of escaping her lips.

"I do think, yeah," said James even more casually, as though it were a battle of the tones. "I think you wanted to say more of how you were grateful that I saved your life, you were sorry that you misjudged me in thinking that I had tipped of Snivellus, and how impressed that you were that I managed to earn fifty points for your house. Unfortunately, I pissed you off too much for you to say all these things. Am I right?"

A long period of silence followed this. "On some accounts."

He tilted his head slightly.

"Yes, in the sense that I misjudged you, and I'm sorry if you were offended."

She said no more and made to leave again. James still had his hand on her arm. "And . . ."

"And nothing, Potter," she said with a tone of finality. She knew she could think clearly and react to him the same way she always had done; with a snide comment and a reminder of what he couldn't have, if he would just, for Merlin's Sake, take his hand of her arm.

"Nothing?" he said softly, wanting her to say something more he could go on.

She said nothing but looked away, up to her dormitory, wanting to sleep off the nightmarish events of the werewolf and the irritating feeling she was beginning to feel without wanting to.

"How many times do you want me to apologise?" she asked.

James frowned. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe just until you mean it?"

She sighed deeply. "It's difficult, you know. Apologising to someone you dislike so vehemently."

"You dislike me?" he asked with a trace of unhideable disappointment.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know . . . I don't want to like you."

James took his hand off her arm. She felt herself relax and knew she had tensed when he touched her skin. "Why?" he asked sincerely. "Scared of what could happen? Scared of something you've never experienced - "

"I don't want to be another one of your conquests, James," she said simply, forcing herself to look into his deep and searching hazel eyes. His emotions soared as she said his first name.

He almost felt hurt at her words and at the truth of them. "You wouldn't," he said softly and made a bold movement as to touch her cheek. She pulled away, only dimly aware of how close they had got.

Lily did not like this. She was not comfortable with the close proximity, with the elevating feelings she did not want to feel. She turned quickly and almost ran up to her dormitory.

"Goodnight," she said quickly, the door slamming abruptly.

James sank down in the chair, his heart pounding. He had been able to smell the shampoo she wore, saw the freckles on her cheeks. A week ago, if he had known he would have gotten that close to Lily Evans without a slap, he would have sacrificed a thousand house points. But now, as the moment had passed, he felt very empty and hollow, and wanting so much more.