Chapter One: Screaming, Fainting and Sputtering.

At the moment, everything was peaceful. Harry had defeated Voldemort over Easter break. It was a most ingenious tactic. Most others believed Voldemort's weakness was love, but Harry thought that that was too obvious. Turned out he was right. Voldemort's downfall was his intolerance of annoying-ness Harry killed Voldie by trapping the antagonist in an abnormally large seashell. Eventually the sound of the sea caused him to spontaneously combust!

One lovely day Harry was sitting, quietly, in his favorite squishy overstuffed armchair next to the fireplace reading a delightful book about hitchhiking and not panicking. He was alone in the common room, which is the way Harry liked best. Unfortunately his serenity was abruptly interrupted by an odd and alarming sound.

()Wham()moan()stumble()moan()thud()moan()growl()moan 'What in the name of Zeus' Bollocks??' Harry thought to himself as he hastily glanced around the room for the source of the offending noise. He was utterly distraught when he found it, or rather, them. There, in front of his eyes, plastered to the far wall, were his two best friends who were, in turn, plastered to each other.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Harry screamed. This caused Hermione to open her eyes to see Harry. Taking her fingers out of Ron's tousled hair she waved to her platonic friend while snogging her other friend. Harry caught a glimpse of something shiny on Hermione's ring finger. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Screamed Harry and promptly fainted.

"Do you think he's ok?" Ron asked.

"I dunno. He looks kinda pale and green." Hermione replied

"Wonder what caused that?" Ginny pondered aloud. Ron and Hermione gave each other sheepish grins and proceeded to continue with their earlier ministrations. "Never mind," Ginny said seeing all this happen out of the corner of her eye, "I don't want to know."

Slowly Harry's eyes opened. Seeing Ron and Hermione sucking face was probably not a good idea. I would go as far as to say that it was a bad idea. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHmph!!!!!" Ginny covered his mouth as all the screaming was giving her a headache.

"Ok! You," Ginny pointed at Harry, "Stop screaming," He did, "And you two," She pointed at Ron and Hermione. "Come up for air then let your lips rest." They did so, but not without protest.

"I wouldn't tell you to stop if you were making out with your partner." Ron mumbled in a childish manner.

"Yes you would! Don't even try that on me." Ginny said indignantly. "So someone explain to me what's going on!" Someone in the background begins to sing, "Oy! Shut it!"

"Well," Harry started as his skin began losing it's green. "I was sitting in my favorite squishy armchair reading a delightful book on hitchhikers, when I heard the oddest and most alarming noise. I glanced around the room and to my dismay saw that it was Ron and Hermione making out on the wall!!"

"So you screamed." Ginny stated.

"Yes! Hermione must have noticed because she opened her eyes and waved at me."

"And you fainted?" Ginny said disdainfully.

"Not because she waved at me!!" Defended Harry, "Because she's wearing an engagement ring!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Screamed Ginny and promptly fainted.

"Great, Harry! Just great!" Ron exclaimed, "Now look what you did."

Harry sputtered.

"Yeah!" Chimed Hermione. "Really, you can be so insensitive at times!"

Harry sputtered again. "What did I do!?!? I didn't do one single bleeding thing! You're the ones who are the cause of all this! You and that bloody sparkley ring!"

"Oh, about that," Hermione said, "Listen Harry, Ron proposed to me in a mad passionate proclaimation of love, so…"

"We're running off to Vegas to get married." Ron said nonchalantly.

Harry sputtered.

"Well, gotta run!" Hermione gave Harry a quick hug.

"Bye, mate!" Ron slapped him on the back and off the two lovers went.

And Harry sputtered, screamed and then fainted.

A/N: I would like to say that I got the idea for this from the HMS OrangeCrush website. I got tired of the angst so I decided to do something silly!! Hope you enjoy. Also, I've been having severe issues with quickedit. Anyone out there that can help me?