CHAPTER 12..:::::.. Still Here?
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. *Attempts to rip disclaimer apart but then realised in dismay that it has no physical form*.
A/N: SORRY SORRY! It's been the bloody site; it's been down or something. Here you all go now! Can I just say I love you all! Reviews are so inspiring, and I've never had this many before, so thanks. Hmm. This little story is getting somewhat interesting isn't it? I know some of you found the whole James smashing into a tree quite funny, but it wasn't meant to be! *Admits it was dumb*.
Coolcatjenny: Lol, no I just didn't want people to think that I'd ruin the wonderful Lilly/James thing. Glad you weren't fooled!
Szhismine: Glad you're reviewing reviewing reviewing. I think the message is sinking in. Lol.
Wing Goddess: I did wonder . . . Lol. Don't worry. Yeah, I was trying to kind of show that Sirius can be mature if his life depends on it, but not unless he really has to.
Chris-black: Why thank you. How . . . inspiring.
Inkling: I hope your question about the Patronus is answered here! I also think Harry should have lived with Lupin. But hey, can't change the past can we. *Sobs and protests Sirius's name should have been cleared from the start. Damns Pettigrew to Kindergarten-filled hell*.
LauraLou: Wow, when I said review, I mean, wow! That took up 3k! Anyway, thanks! I've just realised that too! That does involve a lot of thinking about. Hmm. Perhaps JK is unravelling the mystery of the Potter's death bit by bit, but then again, maybe she did just make a mistake. Well spotted! I suppose it could have been that Voldie didn't kill James first of all, he just knocked him out or something, and then went upstairs intending to kill just Harry because of that friggin prophecy, not really intending to kill Lily, because he says stand aside and later to Harry that she was foolish and needn't have died. Maybe then when he had killed her, James came up and he just killed him for fun. Hmm. I'll have to take that into account when I write the ending. *Sobs uncontrollably that James has to die eventually and wonders how long she can string it out*.
Skinsnap: Hi, thanks for all the praise! Don't worry. Here's the update.
Lily Pad: Hi, thanks for the review. I post fast don't worry. By the way, your name is wicked.
Marauder girl: Erm, yeeeees, I think I get it. Lol.
Brooklyn Raider: Lol, hi, I know. I'm still in mourning and haven't touched the OotP since I finished it!
Anonymous Laura: Wow, I have a lot of Laura's reviewing! Don't get me wrong; it's a wicked name. I updated yesterday! I can't type any faster!
Fashiondiva: *Rosie believes that FashionDiva is already past her expert medical help and begs her to continue with the medication*. Ah, I am not fooled by your leprechaun gold my slippery friend - it will only disappear! Bribes are only of use if it involves chocolate of some kind. Lol. Keep reviewing. Xx
Templa Otmena: Aww thank you! Yeah, I'm trying to build their relationship up 'cos JK always makes out that Sirius was eventually equally fond of both them. I can't write without a little bit of a cliffhanger! Sorry!
Vega Black: Thanks, she's trying to not admit it!
Miabubble: *Rosie begs miabubble not to curse her*. I'm a writin, I'm a writin! Yeah, I know Lily's over 16, but I don't think she gets pregnant yet! Lol.
Moon*wolf: Hi, thanks for the review. I'm guessing by your name you're a Remus fan? Gd Gd.
Lelegurl19: Thanks for the review; hey James is really hurt! It's not supposed to be funny!!! Lol.
*HITS PLAY*
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By the feeble moonlight, Lily could only just see Sirius's broom ahead. She knew that what she was doing was probably the most stupid thing that she had ever done in her entire life, but she did feel a certain amount of responsibility. If she had locked her room, Petunia would have never gotten in there and sent that stupid letter. Wait a minute, she thought. It was James Potter's own stupid fault for thinking it was real and flying all the way over here in the first place! But the nagging sensation that she really did care what had happened to him was eating away at her. It was unhealthy in two ways; first of all, she had told herself not to indulge these childish feelings and that she should distance herself from it all. Second of all, she should have put more clothes on and she was bound to catch a cold in this unusually freezing late August night. Oh, this is really what I need, she continued to think as they sped along in the air without speaking. To be seen flying a broomstick across England and get expelled a week before I go back to school in my final year of education. Lily cursed Petunia for getting her so mixed up in this.
Earlier, Sirius had taken out a very small mirror and held it up to the light. "James Potter!" he had said very clearly into it.
"What are you doing?" Lily had asked.
"This is a two way mirror. James and I use them when we're in separate detentions." Lily had not had the time to glare disapprovingly at him when he had said, "But he's not answering so either he's dropped it or he can't . . . can't get to it."
Lily fell silent at this and had followed on behind him in silence.
"Hey, Black," she called out after about half an hour of flying. "Do you have any idea where he's gone?"
"Nope," replied Sirius calmly, although secretly, he was beginning to worry.
"Well that's a brilliant start, isn't it? I thought you were supposed to be the intelligent one!" she said in annoyance.
"Ha, I only said that because I thought it would make you listen to me. Moony's the clever one."
Lily frowned. "Moony? Who's Moony?"
Sirius tutted under his breath for being so careless. "Oh, no one. It's just a nickname."
"It's Remus Lupin, isn't it?" she asked.
"So what if it is?" said Sirius defensively.
"Oh, no reason. Just a funny nickname."
Sirius shook his black hair out of his face, and swerved suddenly in mid-air, looking sharply down at something. Lily almost collided into him and had to swerve to the left instead.
"What on earth are you doing now? If this is all some kind of huge prank, Sirius Black, you're going to wish you were never – "
But Sirius was pointing at something shimmering at just about their eye line about half a mile away. "Look, do you see that?" he said excitedly.
"See what?"
"Over there! To your right!"
Lily looked towards what Sirius was frantically pointing at. Sure enough, there was a faint silver glimmer of light, shimmering above a treetop. Sirius flew closer.
"Now, Evans, what does that look like to you?"
Lily frowned. "Well, I'm not sure, it looks like a . . . a stag, I think."
"Exactly. It's James," he said triumphantly.
"What do you mean "it's James?" James isn't a stag!"
"Yes he – I mean, no, it's his Patronus!"
Lily looked faintly impressed. "Potter can produce a Patronus?"
"Yes."
"Why is it a stag?"
"Do you ever stop asking questions, woman?"
"A corporeal one?"
Sirius waved a hand impatiently. "Yes, yes, we all can."
"You all can – "
"Come on, let's fly closer. He must be around here somewhere."
Lily followed suit but was still talking in an un-maskably interested tone about the Patronus. "But how can you all do it? It's very advanced magic! You only learnt things like that until you're in the Ministry of Magic! And what do you mean, you can all do it? Who's all of you?"
Sirius answered her wearily, as though this was not really a big deal and she was overreacting. "Me, James, Lupin and Pettigrew. There. You happy now? Only don't tell anyone; we're not really supposed to know how to do it. They'd only ask us how."
"Well, so they should! I mean you shouldn't – "
"Lily, do you want to shut up and start helping me here? I mean, that's what you came for, right? Because you care about him?"
Lily scowled at him. "You know perfectly well I only said that to make my sister feel bad."
"Right," said Sirius unconvincingly. "So why'd you come then?"
Lily changed the subject. "Are we going to look for him or not?"
Sirius smirked and flew down to the ground, slinging his broom over his shoulder as his feet hit the earth. "You fly well. For a girl."
Lily whacked him over the head with the end of her broom.
Sirius cried out. "Ouch! How do you expect me to find him with a concussion?"
"You know what, Black, I'm past caring. This is some stupid wild goose chase that I should never have been persuaded to come on."
"Uh, excuse me? I didn't persuade you," he said as Lily began to turn away. "You persuaded yourself because you won't admit you're madly in love with my best friend."
"Don't be so ridiculous!"
"Don't lie to me, Evans. You're so predictable."
"Oh, you know something, it's no wonder you and Potter are best friends; you're hopelessly alike in self-centred, superiorly arrogant personalities."
"Now that's not fair, Evans."
"Yes, it is. You are both so – " but Sirius never did find out what both he and James really were as she cut herself off. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to the foot of a great oak.
"It's the tree that the Patronus was over," Sirius answered.
"Exactly. And there's something at the foot of it that looks very James-shaped."
***
"Well, I just don't know how to thank you two," sobbed Mrs Potter as she clutched the shoulders of Sirius and Lily in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies. "If there's anything either of you need, money or – "
"Don't be silly, Mrs Potter," said Sirius, patting her weakly on the arm.
"That boy is SO grounded," she shrieked emotionally. "What was he thinking? Going out at that time of night. I just don't understand – "
"Let's give the lad a chance to wake up first, shall we, Maureen?" said Mr Potter gingerly, obviously not at ease with his distraught wife. However, these were probably not the best words of comfort, because at the reminder of her son's condition, Mrs Potter burst into a freshly new wave of tears and had to be led out.
Mr Potter looked back over his shoulder at Sirius and Lily and said, "Best take her home for a bit, let her calm down."
They nodded, and then turned around to see two very anxious boys hurtling down the hospital corridor, both wearing flashing and luminously yellow Visitor labels.
"Padfoot, what happened?" asked Lupin breathlessly.
"Got an owl," panted Peter, clutching a stitch in his side. "Said – said James . . . tree . . . hospital."
Sirius looked at Lily and sunk down into the nearest chair, taking a bite out of a huge chocolate frog he had somehow acquired. "You explain."
***
"I might have thought that it had something to do with Lily," said Lupin, a wry grin appearing on his face ten minutes later as they stood around outside.
"It wasn't my fault!" she said defensively. "I can't watch my elder sister all the time you know!"
"No, I mean that James is always acting stupid around you."
Lily frowned. "That," she said, "is for definite."
"You know why though, don't you Evans," said Sirius thickly through a mouthful of chocolate. Peter snickered like a wheezy horse.
"Yes thank you, Black, I know perfectly well why."
Peter was eyeing Sirius's chocolate with a hungry eye. "Padfoot, can I have some of that?"
Lily threw up her hands, exasperated. "Padfoot? Oh come on, isn't anyone going to tell me what all these nicknames are about?"
"No," they all said in unison.
An aged Healer emerged from James's room, chart in hand, looking distinctively ruffled. He looked towards the crowd, who were looking expectantly back at him.
"What's up, doc?" asked Sirius.
"I am no ridiculous Muggle doctor," said the Healer in a husky impertinent voice. "I am a trained Healer."
Sirius looked faintly bored. "OK, what's up . . . Healer?"
The Healer looked sternly down at him, a frown framing his crooked face, the white wispy hair floating around his balding head. "Are you family of James Potter?"
Sirius looked around at all of them. "Yes," he said finally. "We are his uncles. And this here," he said pointing to Lily, "is his wife."
Lily opened her mouth in frustration and began to say, "His – " but Lupin stood on her foot.
The Healer looked suspiciously down at all of them, and for a moment they thought he would shout at them and tell them to get out, but he didn't. Instead he signalled to the door. "You may go in now."
He left via a left exit, and Lupin turned to Lily. "Coming?"
"No," said Lily, making a stab at appearing uninterested.
"Sure you don't want to see your great love?" said Sirius, smirking.
"He is NOT my great love."
"What ever you say, Evans," said Peter.
"I don't need him as well to say it's all my fault," she said, and she stormed off to the tearoom.
Sirius muttered something about women and followed the others in.
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James tried to sit up when the three remaining Marauders ambled in, smiles framing their mischievous faces. The pain in his ribs was still to much for him to sit up properly; the Healer had mended all the bones straight away, but in some cases, they hurt for a long time afterwards. A purple bruise was rising under his right eye where the cheekbone had been smashed and he looked very disgruntled.
"The prat lives on," said Lupin.
"James! You're OK!" shouted Peter, smacking him on the back.
"OUCH!" said James loudly.
"Be careful, Wormtail!" hissed Sirius.
"Thank Merlin," said James. "I thought you were my accursed mother again."
"It's a nasty disease, is concern," said Sirius sarcastically.
Peter seemed to be holding something in; he was chewing his fingernails and looking quizzically at James. "So, Prongs, can we get one thing straight?"
James looked at him. "Probably not perfectly straight, but a little wonky will do. What?"
"Did you . . . did you really . . . fly into a tree?" and with that, he burst into mousy fits of laugher, puffing through yellow crooked teeth.
The others tried to keep a straight face; James lying palely in a hospital was no laughing matter, but the fact of how he had gotten there was.
"Yes, yes, all right, go on, laugh the lot of you," he said sourly. And they did; anyone who came in that moment would have thought someone had cast a Cheering Charm on the whole lot of them.
Lupin regained himself. "Sorry, Prongs, we're not laughing at you, it's just . . . it's not very like you, is it? Flying into a tree?"
They all burst out laughing once more at the reminder. James waited patiently for the fits to subside. "I left my glasses at home."
They did not subside. In actual fact, they intensified.
"OK, look, can someone tell me what happened after I sent up my stag please?" he said crossly.
"What, do you have amnesia?" said Peter in mock concern.
"No, you prat, he was still out cold," said Sirius, but these words did nothing to stop the laughter. When a few minutes had passed, they had recovered enough for Sirius to tell James that he had gone to Lily's house to stop him from making a mistake and then realised he was not there.
"Was she confused?" asked James.
"Yes."
"Was she mad?"
"Terribly."
"Oh dear."
Sirius then said how he had set out on his broomstick to find James and then seen his Patronus shimmering above the oak tree.
"It took us ages to get you onto my broom," said Sirius, remembering how they had thought about tying him onto the back with a conjured rope, but then thought better of the magic restriction.
"Wait a minute, what do you mean, we?"
"Me and Evans of course."
"What, she came with you?" asked James in total surprise.
"Oh yeah, sorry did I leave that detail out?" said Sirius, amused.
"You . . . she . . . she came with you? To look for me? Why . . . why would she do that?" he said, frantically gesticulating in the air with his hands.
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" asked Lupin.
"What do you mean? She's . . . she's here? Now? She's here now?"
"Yes, she's here now."
"Well, actually, Moony, she's probably gone. She got all huffy when we said James was her great love. She's probably gone home in a mood," said Pettigrew.
"Can't blame her really, Prongs," said Sirius. "She was so angry with her sister. I've never seen a girl like that. Mean, it was. Meaner than mean. I think we should all make a mental note to never piss her off. Agreed?"
"Did she turn her into a bullfrog?" asked James expectantly.
Sirius looked surprised. "Not that I saw, but she said she would. How d'you know?"
"Ah, she threatened me with that line about six times last year."
"Well, she certainly was mad."
James looked dispirited. "So she's gone? Like, not here anymore?"
"Yep, looks like it."
"Fancy a game of Exploding Snap?" said Peter, and took a packet of cards out of his pocket.
The game continued for about half an hour until the angry looking Healer came in looking disgruntled and shouted at them all.
"This is a hospital! We have very sick people in here! I should have thought that as his uncles, you would have shown a bit of responsibility."
James looked dimly puzzled. "My uncles?"
"Uh, yes!" said Sirius very hurriedly. "You're quite right, Mr, um – Mr Healer. As his uncles, we shall, er . . . set a better example."
James looked as though he was going to snort with laughter until Lupin gave him a warning look.
The Healer looked equally puzzled. "Yes, well, I think you've had quite long enough now. This young man needs rest. He has had a very unhealthy collision if you didn't already know!"
The muffled laughter followed the Marauders out of the now dingy room filled with darkness, which deeply saddened James.
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Lily sat in the pale green painted tearoom alone. She felt very lonely and isolated here despite the fact that she had been here for nearly 14 hours. She should really go home and face the music with her parents; although she was fairly sure that Petunia would not lie to her parents in fear of a bullfrog incident. The cup of tea in front of her was going cold, but she didn't seem to notice. Looking around, she saw a few people sitting alone, obviously visiting long-term residents residing in the wards, but there were not many now that it was evening. Lily did not know what was keeping her here; she had done her part, she felt like she had redeemed herself for the letter in helping Sirius even though it had not been her fault in the first place. James was all right, wasn't he? So what was she still doing here?
Lily rose from the table, pushing her third cup of tea aside and stepping down the hallway. Mr and Mrs Potter had gone home so Mr Potter could calm his wife, and it was now three hours since the Marauders had gone into James's room. They would be long gone now. So, what was she still doing here? Lily wandered down to the bathroom that was clearly signposted at the main desk. It was a small room; there were only two cubicles and the floor was tiled pale blue. She looked in the mirror at her reflection. Her eyes were weary and were sporting fantastic bags under them; she had not slept so this wasn't surprising. Although her hair could have done with a good going through with a hard brush, it had not lost any of it's vibrant colour, as some red hair does when it is messy, (A/N: Believe me.)
Upon leaving the bathroom, she passed the corridor in which she knew James's room resided. She was wavering; what did it matter if she saw him now? What did it matter to her if he felt lonely? It would do nothing but inflate his already fat head. He would only think that she liked him more if she went, and that could not happen. But Lily felt herself, unwillingly so, stepping down the corridor. Perhaps he would be asleep and then she could say that she had tried.
She stopped outside his door, and put her fingers on the handle. A voice behind her made her stop in her tracks. "What are you doing?" said the gruff-looking Healer.
"Oh, I was just – "
"Oh, no wait, it's all right, m' dear. You're the wife aren't you?"
Lily stood staring at the old man. If she said no, she could have the excuse of being denied access and go quite happily home. But if she said no, Sirius and the others would get into trouble and most likely not be able to visit again.
Lily steeled herself and answered, "Yes."
"You're a bit young-lookin' to be married, aren't you?"
"I . . . we – "
"Oh, well I suppose times are changing, aren't they? Be having kids next I suppose . . ." and he trundled off, probably home from a long shift. Lily stood outside the door, horrified at the presumption. Shaking her head, she pushed the door softly open.
James was asleep thankfully. Lily was about to turn around and leave, but there was something about his appearance that made her stay. Lying there, looking so helpless, he almost looked, well. Innocent. Oh don't be ridiculous, Lily, she thought. There is nothing innocent about James Potter. There was an empty chair by the bedside; probably the one Mrs Potter had been sitting in before James had woken up. She hesitated, thinking her life would be made so much easier if she could just walk out of that door right now. But she was drawn to the chair. Against her better judgement, she sat down.
The room did not have all of the Muggle equipment that normal hospitals did; Lily had gotten so used to them as her mother was frequently in for migraine problems. Lily had never been in St. Mungo's before. The chart above James's head on the wall behind his bed was writing as he slept, as though by an invisible hand. Blood pressure good, sleeping soundlessly, ribs mending . . . it went on and Lily looked away as it made her head hurt. There was a bottle of some sort of medicine by James's bedside table next to his glasses, half empty.
Lily looked at him. The bruise under his eye was purpling and very livid. She thought that he looked sad, despite the fact that he was sleeping as his face was knitted into a frown of some kind. A strand of messy black hair fell across his face, across his eyes. It would probably irritate him if it was not moved . . . but what if he woke up? Lily couldn't think of a more embarrassing situation. But there she went again, thinking about herself. She was partly responsible after all, Petunia wasn't anyone else's sister and she had left the letters out in the open, almost asking for them to be read. It could only be her fault that he was lying in that bed. Slowly, she reached out a pale hand, intending to gently lift the hair out of his face.
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James was dreaming.
He was in a room that he was sure he had seen before, perhaps even been in it, but at the same knew that he hadn't. It was a very familiar place. Everything was blurred at the edges; nothing had a defined shape and he couldn't make out anything. There was someone else in the room with him; someone he cared about more than life itself. He had to protect this person no matter what. A noise. Down the stairs. Someone was there. Someone unwanted, someone who shouldn't be there. He must get to them, must stop them from invading. This all seemed too familiar, all seemed too close to home. James wanted to wake up but he couldn't. He couldn't lift his eyelids; they were so heavy. He was face to face with the invader but everything seemed to be happening to quickly; flashing lights, everything speeding up. He could hear crying from upstairs, a scream, he had to help them. He had to. It was all someone's fault. There was laughing, high cold and piercing laughter. The invader was coming closer, bending down. James felt something touch his face . . .
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Lily withdrew her hand sharply. James sat up with lightening speed, looking around him, sweating. Lily was all for running out the door; how could she have been so stupid? Of course he would wake up! Now he would think she cared! But James hadn't seemed to notice she was there and that was why she didn't run out of the door. He looked distraught; distressed about something. She moved towards him and he finally noticed her.
"Evans!" he said, eyes widening in surprise and all thoughts of that terrible dream leaking out of his mind as her form materialised before his eyes. Perhaps he was still dreaming.
"What on earth is the matter?" she asked, unnerved at his anxiousness that had begun to diminish as soon as he had seen her.
"I had – oh it's nothing. A dream is all. It was just a . . . a nightmare."
There was a pause as Lily tried to figure out whether that was all that it was. "Right. Well, then I should probably go. If you're all right . . ." She turned to leave, cursing herself for being so irrefutably stupid.
"Wait!" said James. "What are you doing here now anyway? Pad – I mean, Sirius said you'd gone."
Lily blinked. "Well, I was going to, I just, well. I'm going now."
"Don't go," he said after her. "Look, don't feel bad about what happened. It was your sister's fault, not yours."
"I don't feel bad," she lied. "Actually it was your fault for being so stupid."
"How do you work that one out?" said James defensively.
"Well, first of all, you believe that I could say such horrible things, second of all you fly over to my house without your glasses, and third of all, you . . . you smash into a tree for Merlin's Sake," she added as an after though, having a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Oh well I'm glad you find it so amusing."
Lily chuckled. "What you did is amusing. The state you're in now, however, is not. You could have killed yourself, you prat."
"You know what? You sound like my mother." He ignored her indignant face. "How did you get in anyway? I thought they only let in family."
Lily shook her head quickly. "Never mind. Ask Sirius."
"Oh, on first name terms now, are we? I thought you two hated each other? Had a little bonding session over my spectacular rescue, did you?"
"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Lily. "Well, I can see you're back to your old self, Potter."
James smiled. "For a stupid moment there, I thought you were going to call me James. Like you did back in the Common Room."
Lily turned away. "Merlin, you're not still going on about that, are you?"
James smiled. "I will until you admit you like me."
Lily turned away. "I'm going to go home now and have a hot bath and a sleep. If that's all right with you."
James smirked. "Well, since you painted such a wonderful picture in my head there, I'll let you off."
Lily gave him a look that was so undeniably reminiscent of Professor McGonagall that he kept silent.
"I'll see you at school, James," she added on the way out.
James knew he should have left it there, but added just before she was out of hearing distance, "Thanks for getting that bit of hair, Lily, it can be a right pain in the backside."
Lily couldn't help but smile as she left the hospital; the smile overcame the self-goading she should have been feeling for getting so close once more to James Potter.
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*A/N: Haha, add a little bit of fluffiness; it saves the day! No one has commented on the dream sequences yet; hmm. Do they seem a little familiar to any bright spark out there? *Smirks inwardly*. Anyway. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
Rosie x x x