GI Joe Chapter 7
"Talent"
Disclaimer: I do not own anything period. Don't sue , the best thing you will get from me is lint.
Jovi: Wakie Wakie boys its a brand new day that God has illuminated upon our souls. Time to practice the dance routine all together now, and for the ever dreadful talent day to commence.
Shipwreck : Just five more minutes mommy please. I am so freaking tired from partying at the bar with those chicks yesterday.
Shane: I got news for you; those weren't chicks
Shipwreck shot up in bed, pale and sweating. His were wide as saucers. He looked over at Shane for some sign of relief, however, he did not receive any. Shane met his gaze; simile; and walked from the room to Duke's quarters. He knocked on the door, and a dressed Duke walked from his room.
Shane: Meeting in office 304 at 1100, and its important Intel that was gathered as recently as yesterday.
Duke:(sleeply) Need coffee to functionnn...
Shane:In the cafe, and do you remember what I said ?
Duke: 304 at 1100 ...
Shane: Ah good enough, go get your coffee.
Duke: Must get coffeeeeeeeee, and sugary goodness.
Shane: Whatever floats your boat.
Shane walked to the next room, and knocked. When he receive no response. He opened the door . The room was absolutely immaculate. He walked to the bed waiting to find the occupant, but alas he wasn't there period.
Shane: yeah that is right Roadblocks making blueberry pancakes and eggs. Damn let me finish waking them up. Sexy Spirit wakeeeeeeeee uppppppppp.
The door opened and a half dead spirit turned his head to the source of the voice that called his name. All he could get out was ...
Spirit: (Sleeply)Huh
Shane: Blueberry pancakes and eggs in the cafe.
Spirit: Why am I supposed to care?
Shane: Two words Roadblock and Cooking ring a bell?
Spirit was gone and dressed in sweats. He was halfway down the hallway in a flash. While all this happened Shane lost track of time, and decided to wake the remaining contestants as well.
Wayne R. Sneeden turned over in his bed only to face the alarm clock and find that it was 5 am.
BeachHead: Ah crap I 'm late for work.
He slowly turned over in bed to get up, and stepped on something soft. He looked down only to see that a leg was sticking out from underneath a blanket. He figured it wasn't his. He went for the lights on the side of his bed, and flipped the switch. When light illuminated from the lamp. He saw the suspect had wrapped their entire self in the blanket except for their leg. Wayne grabbed the gun off the night stand and ; in a lighting pace grabbed the blanket and pulled it off.
Beach Head: Holy Crap. Low Light have lost your damn mind?
Low Light :Beach Head shut the hell up. And What the hell are you doing in my room?
BeachHead: Correction this is my room jackass, what the hell are you doing on my floor?!
Low Light gave his version of " what the hell are you talking about"? look.
Just then Shane busted in and was shocked to see them both. He was speechless, and no one moved for about a good minute. He just kept his eyes from going back and forth. Uneasiness crept over all three men in the room. The silence was deafing. No one knew how to exactly explain the situation. Then Shane shook himself to reality and stated what need to said.
Shane: Ummm report to the office 304 at 1100 hours please. Dance rehearsal in 10.
Then he turned to leave the room and then turned back around to face an bewildered BeachHead and Half asleep Low Light on the floor. Shane then looked at Low Light and stated.
Shane: Low light if this is what I think it is...
Low light : Which it is not...
Shane: But only if I think that it might possibly...
Low Light: I sleep walk at night OKAY. Which is in case this was just an accident that I ended up in his room on the floor. Therefore its completely innocent.
Shane: But just in case that it is what I think it is . Boy you can do a lot more better than him.
Low Light: Excuse me?
Shane: Honey raise your expectations in life don't fall for the first thing that comes along.
Low Light : What are you talking about?
Beach Head: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAISE YOUR EXPECTATIONS?!!!
Low Light: Even if I did have high expectations; they would be a lot more higher than him.
BeachHead: What is that supposed to mean? What I not cute enough for ...!!
Shane: Okayyyyyyyyy
Beach Head:You came into my room last night, and slept on the floor.
Low Light: How am supposed to have control over sleepwalking to where I go. Besides the smell almost killed me last night.
Shane: OK you two dance rehearsal in five minutes, and remember what I said.
Low Light: bout what?
Beach Head: You two out I need to dress.
Low Light : My freaking pleasure. I'll remember to buy an air freshener for your pits for Christmas.
Beach Head: What !!!
Low Light was gone and down the hall in his room. When he got there everything was in its proper place. Jovi then came over the intercom.
Jovi: Meet in the dance hall for rehearsal. If your ass is not up, it will be by now.
By 510 everyone was gathered in the dance hall dressed in sweats.
Shane: Okay gentlemen. Now all that hard work yesterday is about to pay off so that you can move onto the second phase of our operation. But just so we can check to see how you guys look and your movements. There will be a dance routine once a day every two days. That's only if of course that you will not fail this dance rehearsal
Jovi: all right and 5,6,7,8.
Half turn and twist. Pivot half split and good. Low Light stop scowling or otherwise your face will get stuck that way. Duke head higher. Roadblock and spirit get that leg up good excellent they didn't pick you for nothing. Finally the music came to and end.
Shane: all right guys that was excellent. Now for phase two. Jovi bring out "IL Eiffel"
Jovi: Right...
He snapped his fingers and a team came in carrying a small version of the Eiffel tower. It was filled with thousands of small papers. The six Joes gaped in bewilderment as to what this thing had to do with the mission.
Shane: okay this thing basically determines which talent you will be doing in the pageant. Duke your first pick a talent any talent you want. That is if you want to give up the one you have now. Spirit the same applies as well.
Duke walked up and picked his from the very bottom of the stack.The rest followed suite with what he had done. When all was done. The tower was taken away. Then the pain staking process began to find out which talent they have selected. Fingers slowly unwrapped the small papers.
Shipwreck: ummm so what'd you get?
Duke: You go first.
Shipwreck: All right blade juggling
Roadblock: Can anybody detect a little BS in some truth to that.
Shipwreck: All right fine what did you get Roadblock
Roadblock: I got Aerial Tissu.
Spirit: Shipwreck what did you truthfully get?
Shipwreck: I am not lying to you. I really got blade juggling.
Duke: Shipwreck let me see the paper.
Shipwreck: No not until you tell me what you got.
Duke: Fine I chose... Wow ... ummm
Spirit : Out with it already.
Duke: ummmm Displaying martial arts.
Beach Head: Your shitting me right?
Duke: Read it and weep baby!!!
Shipwreck: Dammit!!!!!
Spirit: NOW shipwreck we don't have all freaking day long.
Shipwreck: Well ummm its going to be aaaaa Contortionist.
Spirit: Now that wasn't bad
Shipwreck: Not any contortionist either.
Roadblock: What a body?
Low Light: Head ?
Duke: Arm ?
Shipwreck: (mumbles) tal... contortionist.
Spirit: A what?
Low Light: HOOD ALMIGHTY YOUR A PENILE CONTORTIONIST!!!
Everyone else: WHAT !????
Shipwreck: How did YOU know Low Light?
Low Light: You forget I am sniper, and I have better eyesight than all of your put together.
Spirit: So you play with yourself, but how would you want to twist like that?
Shipwreck:( sarcastically) Yeah like I WANTED to pick this talent.
Spirit:Okay I'll go next I got performance art.
Roadblock: Performance art is another word for ...
Spirit: Belly Dancing. Low Light what you get?
Low Light: I ummm got well I
Beach Head: Spill IT !!!!
Low Light: Display of SELF DEFENSE. Read it and weep. So Beach Head what did you get?
Shipwreck: Yeah Beach What you get?
Beach Head:(mumbles) Stick dancing.
Duke snatched the paper from his hands, and gave it to Shipwreck.
Shipwreck: You got pole dancing as in stripper dancing?! Beach Head: Its better than an excuse to jerk off in front of an audience as a talent. . Shipwreck: Now finally their will be an explanation for his personality now.
Beach Head: Likewise now their is an explanation on why you shrink in the shower. Plus why you could never perform to well with the common prostitute.
Spirit: Dude that was cold.
Shipwreck: Takes one to know one.
.Jovi: It'd be cold all right.
Shipwreck: Shut up.
Shane: If you guys are done talking, start walking to your assigned rooms. Receive the second phase of your training.And remember keep an open mind.
They all filed slowly out of the Gym. They walked their separate ways to the separate facilities that they would be training in until 3 days before the competition. Roadblock walked on what seemed to be for hours. It was actually five minutes to get to an isolated building with high ceilings. he entered and the motion sensors flicked the lights on. A bloody red clothe caught his eye. It was there isolated in the center. A small woman caught his eye. She climbed down from 100 ft of silk cloth, and introduced herself.
Latisha: Hello I am guessing that your here for the Aerial Tissu lesson right ?
Roadblock: Yes mam
Latisha: Well then lets begin. I assume that you have the endurance of rubber band right.
Roadblock: yeah I guess so.
Latisha: For starters your going to have to take off your shoes at first, and do some YOGA plus pilates which will help you in the long run.
Roadblock: What's you name?
Latisha: my name is Latisha, and you would be code name Roadblock am I right.
Roadblock: Good Job, then how do the aerial tissu thing again?
Latisha: Think of it as kneading bread.
Well thats it for this chapter. Write me whether or not I should write a PG13 version of the chapter as well. In addition I am thinking about writing a second ending for it so that people can actually vote to see whether or not their favorite character wins the show. I need to know a yay or nay on the PG13 and a second ending . REVIEW I command you to do so. More surprises are in store for the guys as the big day approaches with some nasty obstacles. Hehe can the guys survive the "beauty treatments", let alone stay in contest.
Preview:
Francis: Hello I am your instructor Francis. And you must be Spirit welcome to the marvelous world of belly dancing.
Spirit: What did I just get myself into.
Francis: Don't worry you'll be able to grasp everything in a week. Now we will start off with stretching those hip muscles.
Spirit: I don't think I even have hip muscles.
Francis: Yes believe or not you do.
Meanwhile back on the base...
Leather Neck: Now Mainframe can you hold this for a second.
Mainframe: yeah sure.
It all to seemed to be in slow motion as the object fell and shattered into millions of pieces.
Leather Neck: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wet suit: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Now what are we going to do.
"Talent"
Disclaimer: I do not own anything period. Don't sue , the best thing you will get from me is lint.
Jovi: Wakie Wakie boys its a brand new day that God has illuminated upon our souls. Time to practice the dance routine all together now, and for the ever dreadful talent day to commence.
Shipwreck : Just five more minutes mommy please. I am so freaking tired from partying at the bar with those chicks yesterday.
Shane: I got news for you; those weren't chicks
Shipwreck shot up in bed, pale and sweating. His were wide as saucers. He looked over at Shane for some sign of relief, however, he did not receive any. Shane met his gaze; simile; and walked from the room to Duke's quarters. He knocked on the door, and a dressed Duke walked from his room.
Shane: Meeting in office 304 at 1100, and its important Intel that was gathered as recently as yesterday.
Duke:(sleeply) Need coffee to functionnn...
Shane:In the cafe, and do you remember what I said ?
Duke: 304 at 1100 ...
Shane: Ah good enough, go get your coffee.
Duke: Must get coffeeeeeeeee, and sugary goodness.
Shane: Whatever floats your boat.
Shane walked to the next room, and knocked. When he receive no response. He opened the door . The room was absolutely immaculate. He walked to the bed waiting to find the occupant, but alas he wasn't there period.
Shane: yeah that is right Roadblocks making blueberry pancakes and eggs. Damn let me finish waking them up. Sexy Spirit wakeeeeeeeee uppppppppp.
The door opened and a half dead spirit turned his head to the source of the voice that called his name. All he could get out was ...
Spirit: (Sleeply)Huh
Shane: Blueberry pancakes and eggs in the cafe.
Spirit: Why am I supposed to care?
Shane: Two words Roadblock and Cooking ring a bell?
Spirit was gone and dressed in sweats. He was halfway down the hallway in a flash. While all this happened Shane lost track of time, and decided to wake the remaining contestants as well.
Wayne R. Sneeden turned over in his bed only to face the alarm clock and find that it was 5 am.
BeachHead: Ah crap I 'm late for work.
He slowly turned over in bed to get up, and stepped on something soft. He looked down only to see that a leg was sticking out from underneath a blanket. He figured it wasn't his. He went for the lights on the side of his bed, and flipped the switch. When light illuminated from the lamp. He saw the suspect had wrapped their entire self in the blanket except for their leg. Wayne grabbed the gun off the night stand and ; in a lighting pace grabbed the blanket and pulled it off.
Beach Head: Holy Crap. Low Light have lost your damn mind?
Low Light :Beach Head shut the hell up. And What the hell are you doing in my room?
BeachHead: Correction this is my room jackass, what the hell are you doing on my floor?!
Low Light gave his version of " what the hell are you talking about"? look.
Just then Shane busted in and was shocked to see them both. He was speechless, and no one moved for about a good minute. He just kept his eyes from going back and forth. Uneasiness crept over all three men in the room. The silence was deafing. No one knew how to exactly explain the situation. Then Shane shook himself to reality and stated what need to said.
Shane: Ummm report to the office 304 at 1100 hours please. Dance rehearsal in 10.
Then he turned to leave the room and then turned back around to face an bewildered BeachHead and Half asleep Low Light on the floor. Shane then looked at Low Light and stated.
Shane: Low light if this is what I think it is...
Low light : Which it is not...
Shane: But only if I think that it might possibly...
Low Light: I sleep walk at night OKAY. Which is in case this was just an accident that I ended up in his room on the floor. Therefore its completely innocent.
Shane: But just in case that it is what I think it is . Boy you can do a lot more better than him.
Low Light: Excuse me?
Shane: Honey raise your expectations in life don't fall for the first thing that comes along.
Low Light : What are you talking about?
Beach Head: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAISE YOUR EXPECTATIONS?!!!
Low Light: Even if I did have high expectations; they would be a lot more higher than him.
BeachHead: What is that supposed to mean? What I not cute enough for ...!!
Shane: Okayyyyyyyyy
Beach Head:You came into my room last night, and slept on the floor.
Low Light: How am supposed to have control over sleepwalking to where I go. Besides the smell almost killed me last night.
Shane: OK you two dance rehearsal in five minutes, and remember what I said.
Low Light: bout what?
Beach Head: You two out I need to dress.
Low Light : My freaking pleasure. I'll remember to buy an air freshener for your pits for Christmas.
Beach Head: What !!!
Low Light was gone and down the hall in his room. When he got there everything was in its proper place. Jovi then came over the intercom.
Jovi: Meet in the dance hall for rehearsal. If your ass is not up, it will be by now.
By 510 everyone was gathered in the dance hall dressed in sweats.
Shane: Okay gentlemen. Now all that hard work yesterday is about to pay off so that you can move onto the second phase of our operation. But just so we can check to see how you guys look and your movements. There will be a dance routine once a day every two days. That's only if of course that you will not fail this dance rehearsal
Jovi: all right and 5,6,7,8.
Half turn and twist. Pivot half split and good. Low Light stop scowling or otherwise your face will get stuck that way. Duke head higher. Roadblock and spirit get that leg up good excellent they didn't pick you for nothing. Finally the music came to and end.
Shane: all right guys that was excellent. Now for phase two. Jovi bring out "IL Eiffel"
Jovi: Right...
He snapped his fingers and a team came in carrying a small version of the Eiffel tower. It was filled with thousands of small papers. The six Joes gaped in bewilderment as to what this thing had to do with the mission.
Shane: okay this thing basically determines which talent you will be doing in the pageant. Duke your first pick a talent any talent you want. That is if you want to give up the one you have now. Spirit the same applies as well.
Duke walked up and picked his from the very bottom of the stack.The rest followed suite with what he had done. When all was done. The tower was taken away. Then the pain staking process began to find out which talent they have selected. Fingers slowly unwrapped the small papers.
Shipwreck: ummm so what'd you get?
Duke: You go first.
Shipwreck: All right blade juggling
Roadblock: Can anybody detect a little BS in some truth to that.
Shipwreck: All right fine what did you get Roadblock
Roadblock: I got Aerial Tissu.
Spirit: Shipwreck what did you truthfully get?
Shipwreck: I am not lying to you. I really got blade juggling.
Duke: Shipwreck let me see the paper.
Shipwreck: No not until you tell me what you got.
Duke: Fine I chose... Wow ... ummm
Spirit : Out with it already.
Duke: ummmm Displaying martial arts.
Beach Head: Your shitting me right?
Duke: Read it and weep baby!!!
Shipwreck: Dammit!!!!!
Spirit: NOW shipwreck we don't have all freaking day long.
Shipwreck: Well ummm its going to be aaaaa Contortionist.
Spirit: Now that wasn't bad
Shipwreck: Not any contortionist either.
Roadblock: What a body?
Low Light: Head ?
Duke: Arm ?
Shipwreck: (mumbles) tal... contortionist.
Spirit: A what?
Low Light: HOOD ALMIGHTY YOUR A PENILE CONTORTIONIST!!!
Everyone else: WHAT !????
Shipwreck: How did YOU know Low Light?
Low Light: You forget I am sniper, and I have better eyesight than all of your put together.
Spirit: So you play with yourself, but how would you want to twist like that?
Shipwreck:( sarcastically) Yeah like I WANTED to pick this talent.
Spirit:Okay I'll go next I got performance art.
Roadblock: Performance art is another word for ...
Spirit: Belly Dancing. Low Light what you get?
Low Light: I ummm got well I
Beach Head: Spill IT !!!!
Low Light: Display of SELF DEFENSE. Read it and weep. So Beach Head what did you get?
Shipwreck: Yeah Beach What you get?
Beach Head:(mumbles) Stick dancing.
Duke snatched the paper from his hands, and gave it to Shipwreck.
Shipwreck: You got pole dancing as in stripper dancing?! Beach Head: Its better than an excuse to jerk off in front of an audience as a talent. . Shipwreck: Now finally their will be an explanation for his personality now.
Beach Head: Likewise now their is an explanation on why you shrink in the shower. Plus why you could never perform to well with the common prostitute.
Spirit: Dude that was cold.
Shipwreck: Takes one to know one.
.Jovi: It'd be cold all right.
Shipwreck: Shut up.
Shane: If you guys are done talking, start walking to your assigned rooms. Receive the second phase of your training.And remember keep an open mind.
They all filed slowly out of the Gym. They walked their separate ways to the separate facilities that they would be training in until 3 days before the competition. Roadblock walked on what seemed to be for hours. It was actually five minutes to get to an isolated building with high ceilings. he entered and the motion sensors flicked the lights on. A bloody red clothe caught his eye. It was there isolated in the center. A small woman caught his eye. She climbed down from 100 ft of silk cloth, and introduced herself.
Latisha: Hello I am guessing that your here for the Aerial Tissu lesson right ?
Roadblock: Yes mam
Latisha: Well then lets begin. I assume that you have the endurance of rubber band right.
Roadblock: yeah I guess so.
Latisha: For starters your going to have to take off your shoes at first, and do some YOGA plus pilates which will help you in the long run.
Roadblock: What's you name?
Latisha: my name is Latisha, and you would be code name Roadblock am I right.
Roadblock: Good Job, then how do the aerial tissu thing again?
Latisha: Think of it as kneading bread.
Well thats it for this chapter. Write me whether or not I should write a PG13 version of the chapter as well. In addition I am thinking about writing a second ending for it so that people can actually vote to see whether or not their favorite character wins the show. I need to know a yay or nay on the PG13 and a second ending . REVIEW I command you to do so. More surprises are in store for the guys as the big day approaches with some nasty obstacles. Hehe can the guys survive the "beauty treatments", let alone stay in contest.
Preview:
Francis: Hello I am your instructor Francis. And you must be Spirit welcome to the marvelous world of belly dancing.
Spirit: What did I just get myself into.
Francis: Don't worry you'll be able to grasp everything in a week. Now we will start off with stretching those hip muscles.
Spirit: I don't think I even have hip muscles.
Francis: Yes believe or not you do.
Meanwhile back on the base...
Leather Neck: Now Mainframe can you hold this for a second.
Mainframe: yeah sure.
It all to seemed to be in slow motion as the object fell and shattered into millions of pieces.
Leather Neck: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wet suit: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Now what are we going to do.