A/N Hi again. I wasn't going to write today but had an idea and decided to get it out before I exploded. That would have been messy. So here it is. I'm probably dating myself with some of the terms but we will see. I don't know if remedial courses in HS today have the same slang name or not. Oh well it's what we called them back in the good old days.

Seeing Allison again really threw me for a loop. When my mom told me that a woman from some charity organization would be coming over I had it in my mind she would be an older woman in sensible shoes instead it was the one girl was absolutely crazy about in school but chose to ignore. It seemed that she was getting back at me by ignoring me now.

After that Saturday detention I was psyched. I met a girl who not only took the time to listen to and understand me but was beautiful too. My dad gave me a hard time and a lecture on the way home. I let it go in one ear and out the other. I was in love right? I spent the evening and the next day planning how I would waltz right up to her kiss her and introduce her to all my friends. If they liked her good and if not it was their problem. At least that was the plan. Real life turned out to be a little different.

I left the house Monday morning early avoiding my dad. I knew once he saw the bare spot on my jacket where my championships patch was once sewn he would get on my case again. I had already agreed to get it back from Allison. Not that I wanted to take it back from her but I knew the old man wouldn't give me any peace if I didn't. At least it gave me a reason to talk to her.

The day passed quickly and I didn't see her. The only one I saw was Claire and that was because we had Creative writing together sixth period. Brian was a sophomore and moved in a completely different orbit than I did. Bender? Senior too but I didn't see him. He was in remedial courses. Not because he was dumb. I realized that Saturday John Bender was far from dumb had he applied himself he could have been considered as brainy as Brian. But he was in remedial aka "boom boom" classes because he didn't apply himself. Allison? I looked for her at lunch because she as a junior had lunch the same time that the seniors did. I didn't see her.

"Who you looking for Andy?" asked TJ my best friend.

"Huh?"

"I asked you who you are looking for. You keep scanning the loser tables and drifting out of the convo."

"No one."

He snorted a laugh. "Yeah right, if you need help beating up one of the geeks I'm more than willing to help you out."

"What a jerk" I thought. I was that bad just last week. "Really," I said out loud, "I'm not looking for anyone." I wracked my brain trying to remember if I had seen her at lunch before and if so where was she. A pair of hands covered my eyes and I heard a sugary female voice say, "Guess who." It was easy to guess because of the cloud of Love's Baby Soft perfume that surrounded me and made my head throb but I played along, "Angie?"

"No."

"Tina?" "No, but I'll give you one more try," the girl giggled. "Heather?" She let go of my eyes and bouncing and clapping she moved around in front of me and kissed me on the cheek. Then with a fake pout she said, "I was starting to get worried that you really didn't know who I was."

I gave her a weak smile. It was the first time I really saw her. Heather Willis was pretty and ran with Claire's crowd. Like the rest of the princesses she was a dream that had stepped out the pages of Seventeen Magazine everything about her was perfect from her fingernails to the clothes to her hair. Now looking back I realize that she like a dream had no substance. My dad frowned on me having a steady girlfriend but he was okay with casual dating so the depth of my relationship with Heather was pretty much a secret to everyone so we weren't known around school as a couple or anything., although we would get pretty hot and heavy at times. I supposed that no one really knowing about our relationship would make it easier to let her go so I could be with Allison.

"Hey look over there." One of the guys at the table said. We all looked. "Is that a new girl?" It was Allison. She was wearing a pale blue sweater and a denim skirt. Her hair was pulled back and it looked as though she tried to do her make-up the way Claire showed her. "She's hot."

TJ craned his neck, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Ewwww, what is with you guys? That is the bizzaro girl. You know the chick that lives in the counselor's office?" With Heather's identification of Allison I watched the horny smiles leave their faces. Then they started backpedaling and saying things like, "Must be the distance. Better from far away than close up," and, "the fumes from the slop they serve here are causing hallucinations." They busted out laughing. TJ hopped down, "I'll be right back man."

"Where are you going?"

"To have a little fun," he said and took off across the lunchroom.

"Shit," I said and jumped off the table where I was sitting and followed but got cut off by the crowds.

"Excuse me," I heard him say to her. She turned and looked at him. "You must be new you look great." I was happy that she had a doubtful look. The worst thing she could have done was let down her guard.

"What do you want" Allison asked.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?" I noticed that the rest of the guys and Heather were behind me also watching. Some of them were snickering. It wouldn't matter what she said at this point, no matter what he did he would make her look like an idiot. I wanted to tell her to run and run fast but didn't seem real. The logical, civilized part of me felt detached and far away from the whole thing; however the illogical, primitive part of me that taped Larry Lester's butt cheeks together was there. "So what do you say," he asked and actually sounded sincere but I had been friends with TJ since fourth grade and the look in his eyes was anything but sincere.

"I don't think so," she replied and started to turn away.

"Well I don't think you can fool us. You are just as disgusting as you always were freak. Think you the fact you aren't dressed like a bag lady is going to make any guy want to go out with you?" She turned and her eyes met mine as I stood there amongst the others laughing with them at her expense.

Then Heather stepped forward and sloshed her with perfume. "To cover the smell," she laughed. Then she kissed me and my logical self came back. I didn't want Heather Miller to kiss me. "What the hell have we just done?" The logical part screamed at the primitive. There was no reply just shame. More shame than I had ever felt before as I watched emotions flash across Allison's lovely face changing from incredulous, to hate, and sadness. She ran from the room her chucks slapping against the linoleum covered floor. Breaking away from Heather and the guys I went after her, "Allison! Allison, wait!" She didn't stop. She kept on running right out of the school. I would have followed her but I didn't know where she lived. I went to the library. I needed time to be alone, away from my so called friends.

Now Allison was back in my life, kind of. Was I getting a second chance? I needed someone to talk to and while I loved my mom she wasn't the best choice. At the coffee shop I told Claire we would go out for Sushi on Saturday but I needed to talk to her now. Too bad I didn't know how to reach her. Was she staying here in Shermer or was she back in the city? Deciding to take a chance I picked up the white pages and found her parents address and phone number. Then I grabbed my keys, hopped into the car, and hoped I could find her house.

About a half hour later I arrived at the large white house on Poplar Avenue which Claire's parents owned and pulled into the drive parking behind the red jaguar which she was driving earlier. When I reached the door I stopped hand held up getting ready to knock but I hesitated.

"Andy?" Claire asked as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi. I...Never mind I'll just see you Saturday." I said and started to turn to go back to my car.

"It must have been important or you wouldn't have driven all the way over here. Come on in." She opened the door wider and stepped aside so I could enter. It was the first time I had ever been inside of her house.

"Nice."

"Yeah it's not bad I guess. I bit like a museum though. Come on into the den." She led the way into a room that had deep red walls, white furniture and, African styled knickknacks and art. I took it all in. It was certainly different from where I grew up which was more cozy.

She noted me looking around. "My mom and husband number 3 decided to do this room like this after they had their honeymoon safari. At first I didn't like it but it grew on me."

"Husband number 3?"

"She and my dad finally divorced...it must have been about three months after graduation. It turned out she had another guy already lined up. He was a rich widower from the country club and a good friend of dad's. For a long time I didn't talk to her because I felt she sabotaged their marriage just to be with that guy. Their marriage didn't last long. It was only six months and she swore off men. That was until she met husband number 3, better known as Ted on a cruise she convinced me to take with her."

"So do you like him?"

"He's pretty cool and he does make her happier than dad did. Of course after the second guy anyone would look like a prize. So can I get you something to drink?"

"No thanks. I'm okay."

She sat down in the fluffy armchair one leg curled under her. She wasn't pressuring me but she was waiting for me to begin. I just didn't know where to start. "So what happened? Your mom is okay isn't she?"

"Oh she is fine even better since her bereavement counseling session today."

"Did something happen then?"

"You could say that."

"Come on, Andy. You come here looking like you've seen a ghost and then its like pulling teeth to get you to talk about it." She stood and walked across the room and got a pack of cigarettes out of a desk drawer and lit up. "I'm sorry do you mind?"

I did but it was her house and if her parents didn't mind her smoking I certainly wouldn't complain. "No go ahead."

"It's a bad habit I picked up from John. I've given up trying to quit. Last time I did I gained like fifteen pounds so I decided being fat is worse than the habit." She curled back up in the chair and flicked the cigarette into the ashtray on the end table.

"God. I don't know where to begin. I don't know how she could mess me up like this."

"Who?"

I swallowed and took a breath. "Allison."

"Allison Reynolds?"

"Yeah. I hadn't really given her much thought since leaving Shermer. Then since I got word about my dad's heart attack and had to come back here I've thought about her a lot and about how I fucked that whole situation."

"You were a kid. We all were. I never broke away from my friends and told them I was going with John. Maybe if I had things would have worked out differently. I could have helped him. Things with you and Allison didn't work out but did you ever think that could be for the best?"

"Hard to think that things turned out for the best when she looks at you as though she has no idea who you are even though you know perfectly well she remembers you too." I ran my hand through my hair, a nervous reaction.

Clair uncurled, put her feet on the floor and leaned over elbows on her knees, "Whoa hold on a second Andy, you saw her?" I told her how my morning progressed from when she dropped me off but not mentioning the counseling session for which I had an appointment. "And she acted like she didn't know you?" I nodded. "Wow."

"How do you apologize for something like what I did after so much time? How do I let her know that I regret that more than I ever regretted what I did to Larry Lester? She trusted me and..."

"And you hurt her. It happens."

"Have you forgiven, John?"

"Had to so I could keep on with my life. He just vanished and broke my heart."

"But would you have had he come back knocked on your door and said, 'I'm sorry for hurting you,'?"

She thought about the question. "Depends," she said as she put out the cigarette.

"On what?"

"A lot of factors."

"Like what?"

"Like if he was sincere, like if he had his act together, like if I was still mad or not because if I was still mad he could be completely sincere and clean and sober and it not mean a thing to me if I was still pissed off. But what I would do with John Bender is not the question the question is what are you going to do about Allison."

"Have her counsel me on Friday." When I told her that, Claire's chin hit the floor.

"Tell me you didn't just say that."

"Why? My mom was there, Allison pretended not to know me and it sort of happened before I had a chance to think about it. No, it's probably not a good idea but right at that moment it was the only way I could think of to see her again."