Little Red Full Metal Alchemist by KitKat
Disclaimer: I do not own Full metal Alchemist. Funimation owns the North America dub, and Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix, MBS, ANX, BONES, Dentsu. for the Japanese version. That should about cover it. Now for the ceremonial disposal of the disclaimer. Gluttony if you please.
Gluttony proceeds to eat the disclaimer with a resounding CHOMP!
Chapter 1
The Journey Begins
Once upon a time in a world not unlike our own lived a little boy named Edward Elric.
Ed: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I AM SO SMALL THAT I 'M THE SIZE OF ONE'S THUMB!
Me: I didn't say that. Now let's get back to the story
Ed: grumbles
Anyway... Ed was a state alchemist . . .
Ed: What did you mean by "little"? Age?
Me: sigh Yes... You are fifteen.
Ed: You are so dead.
Me: You can't get me; I'm on the other side of the gate.
Ed: You know I can . . .
Me: Yeah yeah yeah . . .
Ed had in his possession the silver watch and his red hooded coat. He was never without them even on the day Winry asked him...
Winry: Ed please take this basket of goodies over to Granny Pinako.
Ed: Wait, doesn't she live with you?
Winry: Not in this story. She lives on the other side of Resembool. Just beyond the evil forest of the Seven Deadly Sins that may or may not have all of them cause the author doesn't know how to work everyone in.
Ed: ...
But before Ed had a chance to process all of the information Winry shoved a basket full of goodies and pushed him off into the deep scary forest.
Ed: Let's get this over and done with.
Me: Not yet blondie.
Ed: What now?
Me: Do it...
Ed: Do what?
Me: The red jacket has a red hood. Use it.
Ed grimaced, but had no choice and placed the hood over his head and began to walk toward the scary forest of the Seven Deadly Sins that may or may not have all of them in the story.
Me: Oh no no no...
Ed: What now!
Me: You have to skip merrily through the scary forest.
Ed sweat dropped, but began to skip and began to enjoy himself until he heard the sound of laugher coming from the narrator.
Me: Bwhaha You are so cute! You can walk normally.
And that's what Ed did for about five minutes until he came upon the scariest creature on the face of the earth.
Ed: A wolf?
Me: No.
Ed: A bear?
Me: No
Ed: Winry, during PMS?
Out of nowhere flew a wrench landing squarely on the back of Ed's head.
Ed: Ittai!
Me: coughing and laughing No.
Ed: Then what?
Me: A mustang.
Ed: I hate you.
Roy: Full Metal! Or should I say Little Red Full Metal!
Ed: HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M SO SMALL THAT YOU COULD SQUEEZE ME IN BETWEEN A MATTRESS TO SEE IF A PRINCESS CAN SLEEP WITH ME UNDERNEATH HER!
Roy: I didn't say that, but I like the way you think. Hey let's take a look at what you got inside the goodie basket.
Roy snatched the basket away from Ed and proceeded to rummage through the contents.
Roy: Very interesting... There's shortcake, shrimp, baby carrots, petite sandwiches and I think this milk is just for you.
Ed: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT I HATE MILK!
Ed became so deliriously angry the next thing he knew he was facing face to... well almost face to face with Roy Mustang.
Ed: Roy!
Roy: Yes, Full Metal.
Roy said inching his way closer to the petit blond who was still deliriously angry that he didn't notice the word "petit".
Ed: Roy...
Roy: Yes Ed.
Roy kept moving closer until the sound of a gun's trigger being cocked was heard.
Hawkeye: Any closer general, and I will blow your red rocks off.
Both Ed and Roy sweat dropped as Hawkeye appeared.
Hawkeye: So this is where you were all damn day! We have paper work to finish at headquarters!
Hawkeye grabbed Roy at the collar and drug him back to Central.
Ed: That was... interesting. Oh what am I saying! I need to get these goodies delivered, and end this story as quickly as possible!
And with that our chibi sized hero...
Ed: Don't call me short!
Entered into the deep dark scary forest of the Seven Deadly Sins that...
Ed: We get it!
Me: Hmph...
What will be in store for him? Find out in the next chapter!