Little Red Full Metal Alchemist - KitKat
Again I own nothing in regards to everything relating to Fullmetal Alchemist.
Okay Fullmetal is one not two words, and Roy Mustang is a Colonel not a General. It looks as though I give hin a promotion in this story.
Roy: Just doing my best to climb the military ladder until the day comes when I will make it official that girls and Ed wear miniskirts at headquarters.
Ed and Riza: NO!
And with that...
Chapter 3
Going Round and Around
Edward Elric was still walking in the dark scary forest.
Ed: I'm getting very bored! I've been walking and walking, but there doesn't seem to be an end in sight!
What Ed doesn't know is that he has been walking around in circles.
Ed: WHAT?
Me: You had to do something between chapters you know. See the footprints in front of you?
Ed: Yeah?
Me: Stop following them.
Ed: Why if I ever...
Me: Be good or I'll throw you in the Eva-verse, and don't think I haven't ever thought about it!
So our blonde hair and golden-eyed alchemist kept walking where there were no other foot prints. Ed kept wondering what this Eva-verse place was. He wondered if they had alchemy or if they fought anything with names of sin or had any cute soft-spoken German girls. His mind was occupied in thought until he heard a creaking sound not too far away. It sounded like it was trying to say something.
Sound: Oil can!
Ed walked closer and closer and then in a small clearing stood Al. Al was not alone however, all the forest animals that attacked Ed earlier were keeping Al company. Birds were sitting on Al's armored head and shoulders, and the chipmunks and squirrels were frolicking around having a very good time. All the little animals loved Alphonse Elric.
Ed: Didn't see that coming. (Yeahright)
Al: Oil can brother!
Ed: Al?
Al: Yes brother?
The animals took one look at Ed and were about to attack him once again until Al begged them not to, so they left. The last squirrel gave Ed a raspberry. Ed wanted to spear it with is automail arm, but Al distracted him by saying again.
Al: Yes brother?
Ed: Oh damn, he ran away. Oh Al, I think you're in the wrong story.
Al: But I was told to wait here by the nice author.
Me: I'm so very sorry sweetie. This was the only way for me to get you into the story.
Al: Awe... Okay everyone you can come out now; it looks like The Fullmetal Alchemist of Oz won't be happening.
Ed nearly fell down when he saw the following come out from what looked like nowhere. There was Nina as Dorothy, Alexander as a big Toto, Rose as Glenda the Good Witch of the North, Scar as the Scarecrow, and Dante as the Wicked Witch of the West.
Ed: Hey Dante, how come you didn't dress up?
Dante: When I get the Philosopher's Stone my pretty it will be the end of you and your little brother Ed too!
Ed: AL IS MY LITTLE BROTHER!
And she disappeared in a puff of green smoke.
Scar: I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life. In fact, the ten thousand people in my right arm are embarrassed for me.
Ed was about to ask Scar about the Philosopher's Stone, but by the time Ed turned to face him Scar was gone as was Nina, Alexander, and Rose.
Al: Brother?
Ed: Yes Al?
Al: Is this suppose to be the dark scary forest?
Ed: That's what I've been told. Have you seen anything scary?
Al: Not really. A few hours ago I saw Lust running away from Greed screaming that she has a headache. What does she mean by that brother?
Ed: Beats me.
Al: Well have you seen anything scary?
Ed: I've seen Pride, Greed, and just now Dante, so no.
Right as Ed finished utters those words pink sparkles filled the air. All Ed and Al could do was watch in horror as Major Armstrong leaps in completely topless wearing only pink leotards and a frilly pink tutu.
Armstrong: Ballet has been an Armstrong family tradition for more than five generations!
Armstrong flexed his muscles and leapt away leaving Ed and Al very stunned and very scared.
Ed: Al, can I climb inside your armor please?
Al: I don't think that would be wise brother.
Too bad for Al cause Ed went ahead and opened his younger (and much nicer) brother's chest plate. Ed found the most disgusting thing sitting inside of his brother Al. What did Ed find?
A. Sloth
B. A naked Roy Mustang smiling or
C. A cute cuddly kitten
If you said C, you would be correct.
Al: Can I keep him brother? PLEASE!
Ed: No! I hate cats! I hate cats more than I hate Colonel Mustang, and that's saying something!
Me: Let your brother have the kitten Ed.
Ed: NO!
Me: ED!
Ed: You can't make me!
Me: Actually I can...
And so the sweet and kind author let Al keep the kitten much to chagrin of Ed.
Al: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Kitten: Mrow!
Ed: ...
Al was directed to the nearest Petsmart (cause that's where all the smart pet owners go) leaving his older and much shorter and meaner brother Ed all alone in the dark scary forest.
Ed: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M SO SMALL THAT I COULD USE A WALNUT SHELL AS A BOAT AND HAVE A FROG KIDNAP ME?
Me: Dude you really need to see a doctor about those outbursts. Oh, but look Ed!
Ed: Huh? What is that? Why it's Granny Pinako's house! We're getting back to the story!
Ed began to race toward the reason for this whole story. That was until...
Me: You can't go there just yet, we are at the end of Chapter 3.
Ed: WHAT?
Me: We ran a little long in here cause I wanted to use Al as much as possible.
Ah poor Edward Elric who can't seem to catch a break even in a fairy tale. What will happen when Ed finally makes it to Granny Pinako's place? How much can one boy's soul bound to armor buy at Petsmart? Will Armstrong become the next Sugarplum Fairy?
Ed: You are going to pay for mine and Al's therapy cause of the last one you know.
Find out in Chapter 4!