Little Red FullMetal Alchemist - By KitKat

Again I own nothing well not counting the computer that I'm writing this piece of fan fiction. I would like to welcome our special guest for this chapter none other than Yucie of Petite Princess Yucie. By the way, I don't own that either. Gainax owns that, and Greed owns Gainax.

Yucie: Ed, I want you to know everything will be all right, and you will find the Philosopher's Stone. Then it will grant you your wish to become taller!

Ed: ...

Yucie: Okay I did what the author told me to do. May I have Cube back, please!

Ed: HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M SO SMALL THAT... Wait... You're just a child no older than ten, and you're smaller than I am!

Yucie: Actually, I'm seventeen.

Ed's jaw drops to the ground like an anvil in a Warner Brother's cartoon.

Ed: YOU'RE... YOU'RE OLDER THAN I?

A tiny female figure with lavender hair in long pig tails appears on Ed's left shoulder wearing a skin tight suit with red horns on her head, black bat wings on her back, a red pointy tail at her end.

Devil Grenda: Call her a brat!

Ed: You're nothing but a brat!

Then a tiny male figure appeared on Yucie's left shoulder wearing a blue military uniform, blue horns on his head, blue bat wings on his back, and a blue pointy tail at his end.

Devil Roy: Call him a shrimp!

Yucie: Shrimp!

Devil Grenda: Call her forehead girl!

Ed: Forehead girl!

Devil Roy: Call him a bean boy.

Yucie: Bean boy!

Well as nice as this may look, it's time to start the story. Oh good, Cube has brought the popcorn.

Chapter 4

To Grandmother Pinako's House

There it is up ahead in the distance! Granny Pinako's house was quaint little cottage with a white picket fence surrounding it. In addition it was conveniently situated on the outskirts of the uber scary forest of the Seven Deadly Sins. At any moment now Fullmetal with his basket of goodies should be there knocking on the door.

Any minute now.

Yep, Ed WILL BE THERE ANY MINUTE NOW!

Me: Ed, you're on! Where the hell are you?

The author looked frantically for him, but could not find the chibi-chan alchemist.

Ed: ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM SO SHORT THAT I NEED SIX OTHER ME'S LIVING IN ONE COTTAGE WITH SNOW WHITE?

Me: There you are! I swear on a stack of pancakes I really didn't see you. Oh how cute! You alchemized an outhouse!

Ed: A little privacy if you please. (Sheesh).

Me: Okay okay okay... I'll go see what these two are doing.

Two figures are sitting serenely under a spreading chestnut tree. A mother is reading to a child from a book called Fairy Tales for Homunculi. There's even the sign of the ouroboros on the cover between the words in the title.

Sloth: And once Dante, Edward, and Alphonse were defeated.

Wrath: I like Al! I guess if Al doesn't die, Ed can't die either. (Hmph)

Sloth: Well once we obtained the Philosopher's Stone and became human we left this world for the one beyond the gate.

Wrath: Oooooooo...

Sloth pointed at pictures of the former Homunculi and what they did in the new world. The first picture was Gluttony wearing a chef's hat, holding eating utensils, and wearing the biggest smile on his face.

Sloth: Gluttony opened up a buffet restaurant, but not just any buffet restaurant. It was really an "All You Can Eat" buffet called Gluttony's World Buffet where the slogan is, "Yes! You can eat it!" If you want to eat the plates you can! You want to eat the table you can and so forth!

The next picture was of Lust standing in a room full of slinky dresses and other sleek and sexy women's attire.

Sloth: Lust now owned not one but two businesses! Lustful Lingerie and Lust's Nail Salon'n Self-defense School. Women wanted to be just like her, and men just wanted her.

Sloth turned the page and Wrath's eyes grow even bigger at the third picture which was of Greed standing in front of a huge hotel with other huge hotels on a strip in the middle of a desert.

Sloth: Greed became a successful casino owner in a city called Las Vegas. He aptly named his establishment Sin. Men wanted to be just like him, and women just wanted him.

Wrath: Oooooooo...

Pride was in the fourth picture looking well prideful as ever shaking hands and kissing babies for this was the path to politics in an area called Washington, D.C. The fifth picture showed Envy in Hollywood. Though no longer able to change his appearance at a blink of an eye, Envy was still able to make it as an actor in both male and female roles.

Wrath: What about us?

Sloth turned to the final page of the book. The setting was a cozy kitchen with a beautiful mother cooking breakfast and a young boy dressed for school sitting at the table.

Sloth: Why I became the best loving mommy to the sweetest loving little boy in the whole wide world.

Me: That was beautiful I'm getting all teary eyed. (Blows nose) Okay Ed are you ready now? If you're not, we will have to end this chapter and start chapter five.

Ed: No No No! I'm ready!

Me: I had a feeling you say that. Okay where were we... Oh yes!

There it is up ahead in the distance! Granny Pinako's house was quaint little cottage with a white picket fence surrounding it. In addition it was conveniently situated on the outskirts of the uber scary forest of the Seven Deadly Sins. Any moment Ed, a.k.a. the Fullmetal Alchemist, with his basket of goodies will be there knocking on the door.

Ed: Here I am with my basket of goodies from Winry in tow knocking on the door right now.

Ed knocked on the door of Granny Pinako's cottage, but there was no answer.

Ed: Winry said that she'd be here. I'll knock again.

So Ed knocked on the door again, and still nothing. Ed placed his gloved hand the doorknob and with barely a touch the door then opened.

Ed: Hey Granny it's Ed! You really need to do a better job shutting and locking your door.

Pinako: Thank you for coming my dear sweet boy. I'm sick in bed, so if you please come in here, so I can see you.

Ed: She must be really ill cause she's being so sweet and nice to me.

What Ed did not know was that she was not really Granny Pinako, but Envy instead. Where did the real Granny Pinako go? Well if you are up on your fairy tales, she was devoured whole by Gluttony who was sitting in the kitchen watching Ed and Envy in background.

Pinako: (inside Gluttony) I've been in tougher spots.

So our hero, super genius, and all around cutie pie entered into what he thought was Granny Pinako's bedroom. Well it was her bedroom, but well you get the idea.

FauxPinako: Come in come in my dear sweet boy.

Ed: Winry wanted me to deliver this to you. I hope you like it. I'll place them on the table by the bed.

Ed thought it was a bit odd that Granny Pinako's hair had a slight tint of green to it

Ed: My what shade of green you have in your hair Granny.

FauxPinkao: The better to look good my dear.

Ed thought maybe she had her hair died, but then why was she wearing a bandana just like Envy's on her head?

Ed: My what an envious bandana you have!

That was it. FauxPinako was tired of playing this silly game and leapt into the air changing back into Envy yelling...

Envy: The better to kick your scrawny little ass chibi-chan!

Ed: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I'M SO SHORT THAT...

Ed never finished what he was trying to say because right when Envy landed back on the bed he fell off and landed onto the hard wood floor with a thud.

Envy: LEG CRAMP!

Ed: Leg cramp?

Envy: No Offence chibi-chan, but I was stuck in that tinier than you body for a long time, and ow ow ow ow ow ow. Hey author, can we stop right here so I can recover.

Me: Sure.

Envy: And don't go sneaking out either Ed!

Ed was doing just that, but soon found Gluttony blocking the front door and only exit.

Ed: Why is this happening to me?

Me: Lucky I guess. But look at it this way, we made progress in the story!

Ed: Yippee.