XD. Well, I certainly made an impression, didn't I? I got flames! TT LOL. But I was very surprised that I didn't care. A year ago, I'd have bawled over getting a flame. But I shed no tears. For one, Kagome was pretty pissed-off at Inuyasha and she said some cruel things—things that perhaps she didn't completely mean. She wanted to hurt Inuyasha, and she did it. To the comment that not one good thing has happened since Inuyasha's prayer beads snapped…heh. points to genre If you wanted to read a CHEERY Inu/Kag romance, you shouldn't have gone to the romance/angst section. Maybe you should try romance/humor. Just a suggestion. Since I'm a sucker for happy endings, though, I can almost guarantee one in this case...although I'm kind of ad-libbing this fic. Aw, hell. I'll just promise a happy ending. Happy?

Anyways, that being done with, I will say, for the record (Angel of Forgotten Souls) that this is an Inuyasha/Kagome fic. But I need to include elements of Inuyasha/Kikyo because he WAS in love with her once, but I have something a little different in mind for Kikyo. What, you ask? Well, you'll see…

And for Bus Buddie…LOL. Yes, Inuyasha and Kagome will somehow come together (don't have all the details figured out yet), and I've updated—where is my sock? Can I have my choice of colors? If I can, I want a PURPLE sock cuz purple's cool and it's…purple!

Oh, yes, I must threaten you again. IF YOU DO NOT REVIEW, I WILL LIGHT A HUGE FIRECRACKER UNDER YOUR LAZY BUTT! REVIEW! -

Chapter Ten

Repercussions

Inuyasha must have sat where Kagome left him for hours. He lost track of time. But when he finally stood up and started walking back towards the village, it was dark. Blood was still oozing from his wounds. For some reason, they hadn't begun to heal yet…maybe they never would. He smirked at the thought. No, that would be too pleasant of an end…

When he reached Kaede's tent, he found Shippo lying down by the door, curled up in a tiny ball. The kitsune was shivering, probably sleeping. Upon closer inspection, Inuyasha discovered tear-stains on his cheeks. "Hey," he whispered, poking Shippo. He didn't know why he wanted to wake the fox-demon, but it seemed like the good thing to do. Talk to him, maybe. Inuyasha had never been kind to Shippo before, and he hadn't really planned to start now…but he had a pretty good idea of what had upset him so.

"Don't wanna," Shippo mumbled, swatting Inuyasha's hand away.

"Wake up and talk to me," Inuyasha growled.

There was a sniffing sound, then a pause. Shippo's eyes opened and he sat up. "You're bleeding," he said.

"I know. I'll live." He sat down next to the fox. "Are you crying because Kagome left?"

"Y-yeah." Shippo sniffed again. "Who told you?"

"She did."

"S-she said goodbye to you!" Shippo wailed. "She didn't even—never bothered to say a word t-to me…"

Inuyasha understood. Shippo's own mother had been murdered by the Thunder Brothers. He thought of Kagome as sort of a replacement mother, and now she had left without so much as a note.

Shippo was wiping his face off with one tiny hand. In the other, he held what looked like a tiny fox…

"Did she give that to you?"

"Yeah." When Inuyasha reached for it, Shippo gave it up without protest. "Sh-she left it with Sango. It's a fox," he added.

"I see." Inuyasha turned it over in his hands. The stitches were so perfect, so even…the fibers of the "fur" didn't feel like anything he'd ever felt before. Maybe it was something invented later in time. Perhaps, he mused, eyes on the stitches, Kagome even had a machine to do work like sewing in her world. It made life seem so easy. It would take no time in her world to get such jobs done…

No wonder she wanted to stay there all the time. He squeezed the fox, sniffing. Her scent still lingered on it. Kagome… His eyes closed.

"What are you doing?" Shippo asked.

"Nothing," he lied, handing the fox back. Shippo took it, but he didn't look convinced. Inuyasha sighed and explained, "I can smell her on it."

"Me, too." Shippo hugged the stuffed baby fox tightly. "I miss her already. I wish I knew why she left."

Inuyasha felt a pang in his chest. "You—you mean Sango didn't tell you?" he said carefully.

"No." Shippo pouted. "She only said Kagome had her reasons. Whatever that means."

He had to look away from the kitsune. Not only had he done a horrible enough thing by hurting Kagome, making her want to leave—he had robbed little Shippo of the closest thing he had to a mother. And now…

"It was my fault," Inuyasha said. "I made her even madder than she already was."

Shippo looked up at him with wide eyes. "Even after she cut herself you made her mad?"

Inuyasha winced. He hadn't known how much Shippo really understood about Kagome's attempted suicide. "Yeah. I caught her at the well. We had another argument. She did this to me." He ran his hand through the blood-soaked material of his gi. "You can hit me, if you want," he offered.

"You tried to make her stay?" Shippo asked.

"It didn't work, though. It only got her angrier."

"I knew you wanted her to stay, too. I just knew you cared about her."

The words sent a jolt through Inuyasha. The kid thought he had gone there to stop Kagome from leaving? Because he cared about her? No, he had completely misunderstood—

But as Shippo pressed his face into the uninjured part of Inuyasha's chest, the hanyou realized that this was half of the reason he had tried to stop her, even if it wasn't the half he had expressed vocally. Now he remembered…

Inuyasha closed his eyes, pulling Shippo onto his lap. As he slept, Inuyasha remained wide-awake, mentally going over the incident again…

"I'm going home for good. It's just like you to take my crisis and make it completely about you!"

There. That moment of dread. The fear that hit him at his core, the thought that he would never see her again. He would do anything to have her near him…even if it cost him his pride.

"You're not going anywhere." His hand was grasping her shoulder. She tried to tug out of his grasp and he held her still more tightly, becoming angry that she didn't turn around to listen to him. "I do need that Shikon detector," he hissed, "and I'm going to keep you here for—"

--as long as it takes to prove to you that I love you. But the words never left his lips…that pain…the blood…Kagome's triumphant smile.

But he could have lived with that. The physical pain wasn't too much to bear. He'd had worse, although he suspected that Kagome had held back some. Either way, it was her words that were the killing blow…the words that spoke stronger than her actions.

"You're a half-breed and that's why you can never be expected to act human. You're a monster, a freak of nature, and if I cared one bit about you I would put you out of your misery."

His eyes opened. "Monster…" he whispered. "I'm a monster." Not demon, not human. Something in-between, a little bit of both. As a child, he'd tried to be human enough to please the humans, and that hadn't worked. They couldn't see past his demonic side, couldn't think of him as a whole person. He always seemed to despair of ever being thought of anything other than "the half-breed."

When his mother died, he had no reason to keep trying. He'd done it all for her, to please her by proving that he could make friends. But it hadn't worked. The young Inuyasha sought out his demon family. Sesshomaru was the first to say it, but many other voices followed his. The phrase was always the same. "A half-human is not a demon."

Eyes burning, refusing to let the tears of betrayal roll down his cheeks, Inuyasha had realized the horrible truth: the humans wanted to send him back to the demons, and the demons wanted to send him back to the humans. It was then he learned not to trust anyone...not to love…he could get by on his own…

He made up his mind, way back then, to somehow become a full demon. He would prove himself to his brother, his living family, and make the lives of the humans who had rejected him a living hell, and maybe some of the demons, too. Kikyo had foiled his attempts time and time again. The keeper of the Shikon no Tama…then her reincarnation. Beautiful women—the same beautiful woman, some would argue. Both had made him want to be human, the only people who could make him want so badly to fit into the human world—besides his mother, of course.

Why was I so angry? Inuyasha wondered. Now that he thought about it, it didn't make sense. Kagome had cut her wrists, had a nightmare about him, wanted him to die because she hated him so much, and he had been angry at her? Had he really even been angry at all? Yes, he thought. There was no mistaking that rush of blood and adrenaline. He had been angry. But at Kagome?

At myself…

The answer came unbidden from his subconscious. Fear filled him and he tried to dismiss it as ridiculous, but he knew it was true. He hadn't been angry at Kagome at all. He had been angry and hadn't slowed down enough to realize who he was really angry at! And he had taken it out on her…

"I should have let her go," he said mournfully.

"Ye should have, Inuyasha, yet ye didn't. Have ye found a reason for this?"

He had known Kaede was there for a while, but hadn't paid her any mind. He gave a tiny nod, but didn't look back at the priestess. He didn't offer any further information. The old woman lingered only a while, but it wasn't until after she left that Inuyasha fell asleep.

"You're ready?" Sesshomaru didn't address her by her name, even though he knew it. It seemed a little awkward somehow, speaking too casually to someone he had only just met. Years of being an aristocrat, albeit a demonic one, did not permit it.

But the way he was looking at Kikyo was anything but casual. He found himself admiring the perfectly-sculpted lines of her face, imagining the curves of her body underneath her gi. His eyes drifted to her long dark hair. It looked so soft and silky…if he touched it, would it be as…?

Her voice interrupted his thoughts. "It is ready, Sesshomaru. I can start the spell tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he repeated. "Why so soon?"

She smiled at him, though the smile did not reach her eyes. It was nothing more than a movement of lips. "Tomorrow is the new moon. The night Inuyasha loses his demon half and becomes fully human—until sun-up, that is."

"Then we'll know at sun-up if the spell worked or not. In the meantime…"

"He won't suspect a thing." She sat down, curling her legs under her. "When the sun comes up, Inuyasha will still be human. The Tetsusaiga will be yours."