MIROKU (INU-YASHA) VS. KASUMI (RANMA ½)...and DR. TOFU
(also appearing is Kei from Please Teacher)
(Disclaimer: We do not own these characters...we only added a few wacky
traits.)
By IWHmaster (and Sanzoswife)
MIROKU: (hiding in stove and giggling about the snowman from the last episode)
KASUMI: (shuffles into the kitchen humming a little song and begins to prepare dinner) Oh dear, I hope Akane doesn't ask to help me today.
MIROKU: (is still giggling to himself, and hears a female's voice) I wonder if she'll have my child. I need a woman with good hips and good cooking. I need to get a look at her.
KASUMI: (reads a package she pulled from the freezer) It says to preheat the oven to 500 degrees, it seems a little hot...but oh well. (turns on the oven)
MIROKU: (is still deciding whether to sneak a peek or not. Starts to fan himself) it's getting a little hot. It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes...
KASUMI: (sniffs the air) Did I leave something in the oven? It smells awful...like Akane was cooking. (Opens the oven and stares at Miroku who hasn't even noticed she opened the door.)
MIROKU: I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off! (stops when he notices that there is a draft. Looks up at Kasumi, and notices that he took his top off.) Uh-oh.
KASUMI: (smiles sweetly) Hello there, would you like to stay for dinner?
MIROKU: HEY YOU WERE GONNA COOK ME WEREN'T YOU!!!!!! (glares at her and climbs out of piping hot oven)
KASUMI: Oh heavens no, I pay attention to the ingredients I use in my cooking. Unlike Akane. (squinty eyed smile)
MIROKU: WHY ARE YOU SQUINTING AT ME!!????? I'LL SUCK YOU IN MY HOLE, AND YOU'LL BE LOST FOR ALWAYS AND ETERNITY!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! I hope you like a dead Ash and a freaky little snowman (points hand at Kasumi)
KASUMI: Oh dear...Ranma really should warn me when he has some of his more temperamental friends over. Or just over all mental.
MIROKU: (stands up straight and looks solemn) I am not temperamental, miss, I at first (goes up to Kasumi and grabs her hand) was wondering if you would be the bearer of my child.
KASUMI: I'm not sure father would approve, do you have money? I hope he is poor so that father has no reason to say yes...besides...if father approves of this marriage...Dr. Tofu will never have a chance to propose...I must stop this at all costs!
MIROKU: There's always plenty, I could go find some, I have my ways to get what I want. Besides, no one else would want to marry you, you're a heathen, you were about to eat me!!!! (gives her an evil smile then looks smug) She's as good as mine.
KASUMI: Oh great, a righteous control freak...I'll bet he's horrible in bed. (simply smiles her squinty eyed smile and remains silent)
MIROKU: YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER! STOP BEING SO SILENT!! YOU MUST! I NEED SOMEONE TO BEAR MY CHILD!!! WHY ARE YOU SMILING?! YOU CAN'T SMILE AT ME LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE TO DO IT! NO ONE ELSE WILL TAKE YOU! EVEN IF SOMEONE WOULD I WON'T LET THEM! THEY'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST! (his eyes are bugging out of his head, and look crazy, and his neck veins are popping out. He's breathing really hard)
KASUMI: (smiles) This guy is a fricken psycho! I hope Dr. Tofu didn't forget that he was invited for dinner. Oh, I forgot to make dinner, this dumbass monk freak is in my way! Fear not Dr. Tofu, I will feed you even though I may perish! (leaves the monk to wallow in his wrath while she starts bustling around the kitchen making dinner.)
MIROKU: (is watching her, she goes back and forth) She's not even noticing me now. What could possibly make her this ambitious to get dinner ready. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!!!! (lunges to the floor and grabs her ankle. Doesn't let her take him off) PLEASE TAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DR. TOFU: (doesn't see Kasumi when he first enters the room but looks down at Miroku) Take you where?
KASUMI: (drops a heavy ceramic bowl on Miroku's head as she twirls gracefully around, Miroku is still attached to her ankle...but unconscious. The bowl breaks and she walks over to Dr. Tofu dragging her leg) So nice...you re...membered...the lunch...ugh.
DR. TOFU: (goes all Kasumi insane...glasses glint) Uh...uh...Kasumi! I uh...is something wrong with your leg? (glint...glint...glint...)
KASUMI: Heavens no Dr. Tofu, but I have a monk stuck to my ankle.
DR. TOFU: (blushes when she lifts up her skirt to show him the monk stuck to her petite ankle, blushes even more when he touches her ankle)
MIROKU: (wakes up to an outstretched hand) NO NO NO!!!! AWAY EVIL THING!!! HEATHEN THAT IS TRYING TO STEAL MY HEATHEN!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!...
DR. TOFU: (his hand spasms and he twists Miroku's head the wrong way, Miroku's neck breaks and he, obviously dead now, falls off the ankle of Kasumi) There you go Kasumi, now how about dinner?
KASUMI: (slips her arm in his) Let's go out for dinner tonight.
KEI: (runs in and is missing his glasses)
DR. TOFU: After you Miss Kasumi.
KEI: NO! Miss Kazumi you can't go with him, you're married to me!!! I HATE YOU, JUST BECAUSE DR. TOFU IS MY ADOPTED OLDER BROTHER DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU NEED TO GO WITH HIM!! I'M JUST AS GOOD AS HE IS. (runs to Kasumi and latches onto her arm. Lunges to the knife she was chopping with and hacks at the couple)
KASUMI: Dr. Tofu, I never told you this, but I love you! I love you more than cooking! And that is saying a lot!
DR. TOFU: Kasumi, I never told you this, but I love you! I love you more than your cooking! And that is saying a lot! (They both die)
KEI: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU I'D GET YOU IN THE END!!! I WOULD NEVER LET YOU HAVE KAZUMI!!! (bends down and picks up Dr. Tofu's glasses, and look around) Oh, crap. (inches out of room)
(also appearing is Kei from Please Teacher)
(Disclaimer: We do not own these characters...we only added a few wacky
traits.)
By IWHmaster (and Sanzoswife)
MIROKU: (hiding in stove and giggling about the snowman from the last episode)
KASUMI: (shuffles into the kitchen humming a little song and begins to prepare dinner) Oh dear, I hope Akane doesn't ask to help me today.
MIROKU: (is still giggling to himself, and hears a female's voice) I wonder if she'll have my child. I need a woman with good hips and good cooking. I need to get a look at her.
KASUMI: (reads a package she pulled from the freezer) It says to preheat the oven to 500 degrees, it seems a little hot...but oh well. (turns on the oven)
MIROKU: (is still deciding whether to sneak a peek or not. Starts to fan himself) it's getting a little hot. It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes...
KASUMI: (sniffs the air) Did I leave something in the oven? It smells awful...like Akane was cooking. (Opens the oven and stares at Miroku who hasn't even noticed she opened the door.)
MIROKU: I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off! (stops when he notices that there is a draft. Looks up at Kasumi, and notices that he took his top off.) Uh-oh.
KASUMI: (smiles sweetly) Hello there, would you like to stay for dinner?
MIROKU: HEY YOU WERE GONNA COOK ME WEREN'T YOU!!!!!! (glares at her and climbs out of piping hot oven)
KASUMI: Oh heavens no, I pay attention to the ingredients I use in my cooking. Unlike Akane. (squinty eyed smile)
MIROKU: WHY ARE YOU SQUINTING AT ME!!????? I'LL SUCK YOU IN MY HOLE, AND YOU'LL BE LOST FOR ALWAYS AND ETERNITY!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! I hope you like a dead Ash and a freaky little snowman (points hand at Kasumi)
KASUMI: Oh dear...Ranma really should warn me when he has some of his more temperamental friends over. Or just over all mental.
MIROKU: (stands up straight and looks solemn) I am not temperamental, miss, I at first (goes up to Kasumi and grabs her hand) was wondering if you would be the bearer of my child.
KASUMI: I'm not sure father would approve, do you have money? I hope he is poor so that father has no reason to say yes...besides...if father approves of this marriage...Dr. Tofu will never have a chance to propose...I must stop this at all costs!
MIROKU: There's always plenty, I could go find some, I have my ways to get what I want. Besides, no one else would want to marry you, you're a heathen, you were about to eat me!!!! (gives her an evil smile then looks smug) She's as good as mine.
KASUMI: Oh great, a righteous control freak...I'll bet he's horrible in bed. (simply smiles her squinty eyed smile and remains silent)
MIROKU: YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER! STOP BEING SO SILENT!! YOU MUST! I NEED SOMEONE TO BEAR MY CHILD!!! WHY ARE YOU SMILING?! YOU CAN'T SMILE AT ME LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE TO DO IT! NO ONE ELSE WILL TAKE YOU! EVEN IF SOMEONE WOULD I WON'T LET THEM! THEY'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST! (his eyes are bugging out of his head, and look crazy, and his neck veins are popping out. He's breathing really hard)
KASUMI: (smiles) This guy is a fricken psycho! I hope Dr. Tofu didn't forget that he was invited for dinner. Oh, I forgot to make dinner, this dumbass monk freak is in my way! Fear not Dr. Tofu, I will feed you even though I may perish! (leaves the monk to wallow in his wrath while she starts bustling around the kitchen making dinner.)
MIROKU: (is watching her, she goes back and forth) She's not even noticing me now. What could possibly make her this ambitious to get dinner ready. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!!!! (lunges to the floor and grabs her ankle. Doesn't let her take him off) PLEASE TAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DR. TOFU: (doesn't see Kasumi when he first enters the room but looks down at Miroku) Take you where?
KASUMI: (drops a heavy ceramic bowl on Miroku's head as she twirls gracefully around, Miroku is still attached to her ankle...but unconscious. The bowl breaks and she walks over to Dr. Tofu dragging her leg) So nice...you re...membered...the lunch...ugh.
DR. TOFU: (goes all Kasumi insane...glasses glint) Uh...uh...Kasumi! I uh...is something wrong with your leg? (glint...glint...glint...)
KASUMI: Heavens no Dr. Tofu, but I have a monk stuck to my ankle.
DR. TOFU: (blushes when she lifts up her skirt to show him the monk stuck to her petite ankle, blushes even more when he touches her ankle)
MIROKU: (wakes up to an outstretched hand) NO NO NO!!!! AWAY EVIL THING!!! HEATHEN THAT IS TRYING TO STEAL MY HEATHEN!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!...
DR. TOFU: (his hand spasms and he twists Miroku's head the wrong way, Miroku's neck breaks and he, obviously dead now, falls off the ankle of Kasumi) There you go Kasumi, now how about dinner?
KASUMI: (slips her arm in his) Let's go out for dinner tonight.
KEI: (runs in and is missing his glasses)
DR. TOFU: After you Miss Kasumi.
KEI: NO! Miss Kazumi you can't go with him, you're married to me!!! I HATE YOU, JUST BECAUSE DR. TOFU IS MY ADOPTED OLDER BROTHER DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU NEED TO GO WITH HIM!! I'M JUST AS GOOD AS HE IS. (runs to Kasumi and latches onto her arm. Lunges to the knife she was chopping with and hacks at the couple)
KASUMI: Dr. Tofu, I never told you this, but I love you! I love you more than cooking! And that is saying a lot!
DR. TOFU: Kasumi, I never told you this, but I love you! I love you more than your cooking! And that is saying a lot! (They both die)
KEI: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU I'D GET YOU IN THE END!!! I WOULD NEVER LET YOU HAVE KAZUMI!!! (bends down and picks up Dr. Tofu's glasses, and look around) Oh, crap. (inches out of room)