KEI (PLEASE TEACHER) VS. FAYE VALENTINE (COWBOY BEBOP)
(also appearing is Mosquiton from Master of Mosquiton)
(Disclaimer: We do not own these characters either… though Mosquiton is pretty cute IWH-master said that )
By IWH-master (and Sanzoswife)
KEI: (is hiding from the police in an "inconspicuous" spot behind a bush in the local public park) (whispers to self) I hope I don't get arrested… I can't believe what I just did. (for references look at the last chapter)
FAYE: (drops from a helicopter approximately a quarter of a mile away, she has located her target behind a bush in a nearby park, and wants to sneak up from behind. Starts running towards the direction of Kei) I'll get you. After all I am a bounty hunter. (does anime pose with the peace sign to the camera)
KEI: (is still just sitting behind the bush. He looks up and notices someone running towards him) OH MY GOD! THEY FOUND ME! (He starts running but to no avail)
FAYE: Dammit! The little squirt saw me! I'll just have to go into stealth mode… (drops to the ground and pulls a cat in front of her)
KEI: (while running his glasses fall off… yet again. His arms fling up as he trips over a root) AAAAAHHHHHHH! Oooowwwwwwwww! That really hurt. OH MY GOD! WHERE ARE MY GLASSES! (starts searching the ground for them and is ten yards away from them) Where are they, where are they!
FAYE: (is creeping on all fours towards Kei with the cat. Every time she takes a step with her hand she moves one of the cat's front paws with it while peeking around the cat from all angles. Is also whistling the theme to Mission Impossible. While crawling she hadn't noticed that a pine needle had scratched just above her collarbone)
KEI: (hears the whistling and looks in the general direction of the sound. All he sees is this giant blob of skin tone, yellow, and orange (the cat) coming at him) AAAAHHHH! Forget the glasses! (gets up and runs around blindly knocking into a lamp post, then tumbling forward onto a park bench)
FAYE: (stands up suddenly) NIKO-SAN ATTACK! (launches the cat at Kei)
KEI: (the cat hits him in the head clinging to his face) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (is screaming bloody murder) OH MY GOD! (is trying to pull the cat from his face, and screams every time he attempts to do so) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My face! (starts running around with the cat attached to his face)
FAYE: (tackles him to the ground, holds him there with her knee, and rips the cat from so said face. Holds the cat at arms length by the scruff so as to avoid injury to herself. Is pushing Kei's face to the ground) Ha! I've caught you now evil doer! I can fix my ship and be in Vegas for a year off of your bounty! Ha ha ha ha! (slightly evil laugh)
KEI: No! You'll never take me alive! I have to see Miss Kazumi again! (starts flipping out again, but luckily for Faye there are no knives here)
FAYE: Oh yeah! Tough guy huh? (drops cat which runs away only to pounce on a butterfly and pulls out her taser)
KEI: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (bucks wildly making her tip off of him, and he crawls very fast away only to feel a tug on his pants leg)
FAYE: (she first watches as the butterfly lands on Kei's leg luring the cat causing it to attach to Kei's leg… while he is preoccupied with the cat she runs to the helicopter to grab her bazooka)
KEI: Stupid cat! Get offa my leg! (yanks at the cat. All you see of the cat are the two back legs bobbing up and down causing a mother to cover her daughter's eyes and walk quicker)
FAYE: (aims at Kei but the cat is in the way) I don't wanna hit the kitty! Dork! (runs up to Kei and knocks him over the head with the bazooka)
KEI: Oof! (flies back, his head hits the ground and the cat runs after the butterfly. He is now unconscious)
FAYE: (picks him up by his collar. He is dangling from her grasp, and he has swirls for eyes) I'm gonna kill you, you little brat!
MOSQUITON: (enter the vampire)
FAYE: (she sees a handsome man walking toward her) Ooooo! (drops Kei and he flops to the ground with a loud thump)
MOSQUITON: (sees that she dropped some guy and sees her start to walk towards him. He stops walking, not really expecting much of this situation)
FAYE: (approaches with a feminine swagger) Hey I've never seen you on this tarmac before. (wink)
MOSQUITON: Of course you haven't. (suddenly notices the scratch on her neck yeah remember the scratch from the pine needle and is enticed) B-B-But…
FAYE: Stuttering… (wags finger at him) is not cute.
MOSQUITON: (regains composure) Yes. I'm dreadfully sorry. I don't usually find myself doing such things, however, this particular time I'm afraid it was unavoidable. (bows low to show his apology is sincere)
FAYE: Now that is cute! (raises an eyebrow in a seductive way)
Meanwhile…
KEI: (wakes with incredible pain coursing through his head, looks over and notices that Faye is preoccupied with some guy) Should I run now? (he asks himself this)
Back to…
MOSQUITON: My you smell wonderful. (he is holding her close to his being and taking every bit of the scent of blood he can snatch from the air)
FAYE: (is caught speechless because such a handsome man is holding her so close)
KEI: (decides to try and run)
MOSQUITON: (is slowly pulling her face toward his) I think that the apology includes a kiss for such a beautiful young woman. (is almost to her face…)
FAYE: I'll take you up on that offer in just a sec… (pulls out her pistol from her holster, points her arm in the direction of Kei, and without taking her eyes off of Mosquiton fires a shot right into the back of Kei's head. She then re-holsters the pistol leaving Kei to fall to the ground without a last word) Okay, where were we? (smiles as he leans in)
They kiss!
MOSQUITON: You taste delectable as well.(he starts to lean to the cut on her neck REMEMBER THE CUT!)
FAYE: (is blissfully unaware of his true motives)
MOSQUITON: (he connects to the cut and starts to suck, slowly at first then by the time he was done her body had gone rigid, then limp, and he let her drop to the ground only twenty feet from her victim) Your blood was so sweet, fair young lady. (sees Faye's helicopter and takes it)
(A.N. Stay tuned for the next battle of the oddly placed characters Mosquiton (Master of Mosquiton) vs. Integra (Hellsing) vs. Happosai (Ranma1/2) and enjoy their screwed up adventures! We know we do. )