Dragonandthewerewolf: Wow, You're so kind! I'm gonna name my children after you! (Or maybe not...) And here's my update, just for you and hunter-of-fairies- my sob readers. Thank you so much for your reviews you two! If only I had some more reviews, to which I could compare exactly how nice you are... HINT HINT, RED LIGHTS FLASHING...
CHAPTER THREE: Great Paws O' Fire!
The sun dawned on a bright new day in Ireland, for a few minutes at least, and then it was overcast till lunchtime. Artemis, Butler and Marie sat excitedly in the stands of the packed Dog Racing Place (A/N: And I don't care what it was called, either), waiting for the eighth race to begin. The favourite to win was a greyhound named "Great Paws Of Fire", and our heroes- that's Butler, Artemis and Marie, of course- had all placed obscenely large stakes on her, as had most of the people who had any gambling sense at all. The hopes of the crowd were riding on this one race, and the nervous chattering and praying and shouts of "Where's my tickets!" and "Hey, that's my wallet!" were practically deafening.
Artemis was regaling Marie with tales of his evil plots and adventures and genius-ness, and he had to yell to be heard at all.
"… But it was alright in the end, though," Artemis began to (loudly) conclude, "Because I caught the puppy with the net made from Indian noodles and threw him at the evil Sergeant Pinklesworthy-"
"-'Ou 'ad a terrible fear of ze doggies!" finished Marie, smiling in awe.
"Quite right! I showed him a thing or two…" hollered Artemis.
"So, 'ave you any fiendishly cunning secret plans at ze moment?", Marie yelled.
"Yes!" shouted Artemis, hoarsely. He was by now too absorbed by the sound of his own voice to have noticed that the eighth race had already started. It was incredibly close, with Great Paws of Fire only just in the lead. Everyone was cheering like crazy, and Artemis was literally screaming. "Mind you, it's not a very evil scheme- you know that I hate whaling, don't you!"
"Oui!" mouthed Marie.
"Well, I've been making a satellite in the garage which I will be able to launch soon, that will-"
"What! I can't 'ear you!"
"I said-" shouted Artemis.
Just at that second, Great Paws Of Fire tripped, causing the other eleven dogs to plough unceremoniously up her arse, so to speak,ending up in a tangled heap an inch from the finishing line. There was a collective gasp, and silence filled the Dog Racing Place, as the crowd perched on the edges of their seats, waiting for some sign of life. Had they just lost shedloads of money?
"I said, I've made a satellite that will, when launched, destroy every whale on Earth, and therefore put a stop to whaling, which isn't very nice!" screamed Artemis, at the top of his lungs.
There was an agonising pause.
"Heh heh…" Artemis giggled, flashing his patented "don't look at me" smile.
Silence.
He sat down again.
There was a sort of kksh-iik noise, and Marie winced briefly in pain, scratching at the back of her neck. "Marie, Butler, I don't wish to put a damper on this lovely morning, but can we go home now?" requested Artemis, meekly.
"Alright Artemis. We haven't made anymore bets anyway," said Butler. Marie looked at her hand, which was smeared with blood. The party stood to leave.
Okay, I know this chapter's quite short and un-funny, but never fear, 'cause Chapter Four is even shorter. Just kidding, chapter four is looooooooong. Read on though, something happens soon. I swear!
Arr, review, lest ye be damned, ye dawgs!
P.S: Going to a sleepover, so next update Saturday at least.
Love, Draggons.