AN:

Post Apocalyptic Royston Vasey – part 3

The man stepped in to the gloomy shop. He pushed his glasses further up his nose with one finger as he looked at the snow globes. The shop had been rebuilt or at least the parts that had been burned down. Strangely though, everything on the shelves had remained intact.

Suddenly the shop was filled with a brilliant light and the man had to shield his eyes. He looked up and fell backwards in surprise at what he saw. Two figures floated down through the light. He was sure he saw white feathered wings on their backs. When their feet touched the ground the light and their wings vanished.

"Are we still dead Edward?"

"No Tubbs…I think we're alive now."

"Look Edward!" Tubbs pointed her finger at the man on the floor. "A no-tail!" The man was in fact absent of any tails unlike Tubbs and Edward who each had a large bushy, grey tail behind them.

"You know what that means don't you Tubbs?"

"A bride for David?" offered Tubs hopefully.

"No, no." laughed Edward. "It means he's not local!" Tubbs gasped and Edward's voice became more menacing. "And this is a local shop for local people so he's not welcome here." The man scrabbled at the door, opened it and ran away.

"Edward he's getting away!" cried Tubbs. Edward walked behind the counter to find his crossbow.

"Don't worry Tubbs…he won't get far!" Edward gleefully ran from the shop and Tubbs followed, clapping her hands with joy.

………………..

Jeremy sipped his tea. He had switched his computer screen for a blank TV screen instead. He was too annoyed and worried to write. Even bringing back Tubbs and Edward hadn't helped the creeping feeling that something was very wrong. He still hadn't heard from the others. None of them were answering their phones. None of them had even visited him in hospital and none of them had gone to that charity thing. Something had happened to them but what could he do about it? He could go looking for them but where would he start?

Jeremy sighed and switched on the TV. His eyes began to droop and soon the sound of Trisha faded as he began to sleep.

……………….

The church was completely void of people, there was no one there. Beams of coloured sunlight hit the ground as the light went through the stain glass windows. There was peaceful silence but it was soon interrupted by a man who entered the church and slumped down on one of the benches. A tear trickled down his cheek and on to his disfigured lip. He began to sob.

The peacefulness was once again interrupted as Geoff Tipp's opened the wooden door. He opened it with such a force that it banged against the wall loudly. Behind him Chinnery flinched at the sound.

"Hello? Anyone 'ere?" Shouted Geoff. Chinnery looked around and patted Geoff's arm when he saw the man, sobbing. Geoff began to approach him cautiously. He could see a scaly tail curled around the man's feet. As he moved around to see his face he instantly recognised him.

"Herr Lipp?"

"Yes it is me." He replied, sounding quite depressed. "I did not know where else to put myself."

"Are you ok?" asked Chinnery. Geoff began to move from one foot to the other, feeling uncomfortable with talking to a crying man.

"The children, they are gone." Answered Lipp, "The last time I saw them was when I lay them down and sang to them. The morning after they were gone and I didn't know what to do. There was no trace of them." Herr Lipp looked up at the other two. "Everything is going back to how they were before."

"I know what you mean. Poor Thumper," said Chinnery, looking like he might start crying too. Geoff began to feel even more uncomfortable. He stuffed his hands in to his pockets and he frowned when he found something. He pulled it out and Herr Lipp and Chinnery both moved back from him.

"My, that's a big one," whispered Herr Lipp. Geoff held in his hand a black gun.

"I thought I'd thrown this away," said Geoff, "Everything really is going back to how it was." Geoff put the gun back and began to walk around the church. Bernice must be here somewhere.

Geoff opened the curtain of the confessional box and frowned at the boxes upon boxes of embassy cigarettes.

"Oy hands off I'm keeping them for a friend!" Bernice, who had appeared from nowhere, grabbed the curtain from Geoff and thrust it shut again.

"Now, what are you lot doing round here? I hope you're not all here to confess, I don't think anyone would fit in there with all them boxes."

"No, you don't understand," said Chinnery. "We came here to ask you what's going on. I mean we all grew tails over night,"

"My gun came back," said Geoff

"The children are gone," sobbed Herr Lipp

"And my rabbit's been killed," cried Chinnery.

"God I feel like I'm in a nursery. Will you stop moaning? I'm sick of people coming here to cry at me. 'Oh vicar I had a dirty thought,' 'Vicar I said a swear word' 'Vicar I killed my husband' I don't want to listen to the annoying sods." Bernice sighed and no one dared to say anything to her. "But I must say it is odd. I mean I don't want this bloody thing sticking out." She showed them her very dog like tail. "Everything was all right when we killed that writer. I mean when Geoff killed him."

"I thought the safety was on!" complained Geoff. Bernice ignored him and carried on.

"If everything's going back to how it was then one of the writers must still be alive."

"Then we'll kill him." Everyone looked at each other to see who had said this statement. Standing in the doorway was Hilary Briss. Everyone except Bernice seemed to cower in his presence. "We saw three of them die so it must be the fourth."

"But we sent a group to bring him here and they killed him by accident," said Bernice.

"Blimey that was fast," said Geoff, smiling.

"You idiot she meant the last time," snarled Briss.

"So who pulled him off on the cliff?" asked Herr Lipp.

"He was pushed," said Bernice, "By Tubbs and Edward Tattsyrup. Helped by…" Bernice couldn't bring herself to say his name.

"Papa Lazarou," said Briss, remembering the time when they met him in Hadfield, the place that had such a resemblance to Royston Vasey. "But he's not here, the circus left town ages ago."

"Then that leaves the other two," said Chinnery, "We should ask them what happened."

"Yes we should all go and find them," agreed Herr Lipp. Geoff nodded in agreement.

"No we don't have to…" began Briss but he was interrupted by Bernice.

"Glad we're agreed, now get out of here."

Within seconds they were assembled outside. Chinnery, Herr Lipp and Geoff began walking. Hilary Briss thought it was a waste of time. All they had to do was kill the other writer. All they had to do was find Jeremy Dyson. Hilary reluctantly followed the others.

"Hang on," said Geoff, "Didn't the local shop burn down?"